Cultcow Russell Greer / Mr. Green / @ just_some_dude_named_russell29 / A Safer Nevada PAC - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Convicted of E-Stalking, "Eggshell Skull Plaintiff" Pro Se Litigant, Homeless, aspiring brothel owner

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

My fav russ song by far. Absolutely nothing redeeming about it. Im curious as to how he made it

Mashing his deformed little hands on his keyboard and howling like that dog in your neighborhood whose owners never let him inside.

My ableist ears can't make out the lyrics Can a kind, woke kiwi help me out?

"Ashch wahcshs ashchhah
Sccchlllp
aschlcl cchhassch sahsclclahh
Sccchlllp
Schcllaaacch schlahsch waschhh ouwww
Acchss schhhalss waschhh ouwww
Sccchlllp"

 

[DarkAlien]

Sharing his shit is a dishonor for world music day

 

[Rod Dangerous]

My ableist ears can't make out the lyrics Can a kind, woke kiwi help me out?

It makes as much sense backwards as it does forwards.

I hope this didn’t awaken any evil spirits and curse the orchard.

 

[GethN7]

To be fair, while he did say he likes his girls to be 9s and 10s, he didn't specify whether he was referring to their looks, or how many inches they're packing.

He might as well admit to being bisexual with a preference for women, he basically has for all intents and purposes at this point.

 

[Walking Clock]

Good lord, that sounds like some garbled message from space. And I doubt he really finds Klum all that attractive, he probably just thinks of the envy he'll get from the world when she's dancing with him on TV.

I love how Russ escalates similarly to sitcom characters getting more and more over the top through the years. Season 1 Russ made a childish, handwritten sign asking to rock out with Taylor Swift. Season 2 Russ ran out the clock with a hooker at Olive Garden. Season 10 Russ photoshops himself with extra fingers and posts about giving his gay friend a handjob and gas money in exchange for a lift to a low-end whorehouse that he expects to be filled with Scarlett Johansson lookalikes who nevertheless work cheap.

 

[Francis Dollarhyde]

Good lord, that sounds like some garbled message from space. And I doubt he really finds Klum all that attractive, he probably just thinks of the envy he'll get from the world when she's dancing with him on TV.

I love how Russ escalates similarly to sitcom characters getting more and more over the top through the years. Season 1 Russ made a childish, handwritten sign asking to rock out with Taylor Swift. Season 2 Russ ran out the clock with a hooker at Olive Garden. Season 10 Russ photoshops himself with extra fingers and posts about giving his gay friend a handjob and gas money in exchange for a lift to a low-end whorehouse that he expects to be filled with Scarlett Johansson lookalikes who nevertheless work cheap.

Then what the hell do we do for season 11 and 12? Will this sitcom just fizzle out, or will it try to stay funny by escalating? I sure hope we go up from here.

 

[The Dude]

Sharing his shit is a dishonor for world music day
View attachment 809872

No thanks, Russ. I think I'll listen to good music instead. Not a big fan of Plight Pop or Slurp-core.

It makes as much sense backwards as it does forwards.

View attachment 809874
















I hope this didn’t awaken any evil spirits and curse the orchard.

Too late. You've cursed yourself to be haunted by the Plightergeist. The only way to banish it is to braid your hair, wear a red dress, play footsie with it, then suck it it's penis in a limo that's on it's way to Coldstone Creamery.

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

Too late. You've cursed yourself to be haunted by the Plightergeist. The only way to banish it is to braid your hair, wear a red dress, play footsie with it, then suck it it's penis in a limo that's on it's way to Coldstone Creamery.

Is it ectoplasm that the Plightergeist leaves behind? No! It's droooool!!!
I don't even think he could close his lips enough to say "Wooo" or "Boooo". The sound he makes would be "Eeeuuguuurrgghhh Chhayywer Sccchhwiiittthhh"

 

[cock sucka]

Mashing his deformed little hands on his keyboard and howling like that dog in your neighborhood whose owners never let him inside.


"Ashch wahcshs ashchhah
Sccchlllp
aschlcl cchhassch sahsclclahh
Sccchlllp
Schcllaaacch schlahsch waschhh ouwww
Acchss schhhalss waschhh ouwww
Sccchlllp"

you forgot the woo hoo hoo

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

It makes as much sense backwards as it does forwards.

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I hope this didn’t awaken any evil spirits and curse the orchard.

It awoke the wrath of my dog, who was not fucking happy at the high-pitched 'woooo'-ing and barked like a mad bastard. Even dogs that haven't met Russ in person hate him. Wow.

That song is the absolute pinnacle of Russ's shit sundae of a musical "career". It's just so utterly Russ - the two parts of music that are totally unrelated just mashed together, coupled with a slideshow of photos copied and pasted from news websites. The bit at the start makes very little sense rhythmically, with the drums hitting every note instead of keeping a beat. Then it all fades out to a discount version of the Macarena recorded at half the volume (and presumably in Russ's closet), with Russ wailslurping over the top of it. The whole thing looks and sounds like it took half an hour (and it probably took him 18 months). But he TRIED, goddamn it, so Heidi Klum has to suck him his penis (even if she is way out of his preferred age range, so we're told).

An attempt was made. Russ genuinely believes it should've given him fame, fortune and Heidi Klum's ass. At this point, it'd be better for him if he were re.tarded - at least it'd be a legit excuse for why his creations are so awful.

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

You've cursed yourself to be haunted by the Plightergeist

 

[The Un-Clit]

My fav russ song by far. Absolutely nothing redeeming about it. Im curious as to how he made it

Oh me too fam, me too! That's the song that always makes me think of The Shaggs in terms of it's complete and total lack of talent in composing it, playing it and singing it.

I've linked this video before, but fuck it.

Russ should have been born 40 years earlier and managed these girls. Their talents match, and the Wiggin sisters might have even sucked him his penis at one time or another.

 

[moseph.jartelli]

View attachment 809977

Slimers counterpart, 'Drooler'

 

[Whatthefuck]

And I doubt he really finds Klum all that attractive

I'm quite sure he doesn't. After all, she was married to that saggy pants thug Seal for years. She's used goods.

 

[Damaged Goods]

View attachment 809977

I'm really glad I asked about the lyrics, even though no one knows them either. The responses are far more glorious than the actual answer would have been tbh

 

[cogsworth]

given his recent excursion into homosexuality we might have to change the joke from "suck me my penis" to "fuck me my ass".

I'm sorry for the image this will inevitably conjure in your heads but if I didn't say it I'd be the only one suffering this curse.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Then what the hell do we do for season 11 and 12? Will this sitcom just fizzle out, or will it try to stay funny by escalating? I sure hope we go up from here.

About the only way for this to get more absurd is if Russ starts doing porn with TS lookalikes with the occasional AG lookalike tossed in for good measure.

 

[The Great Citracett]

I'm really glad I asked about the lyrics, even though no one knows them either. The responses are far more glorious than the actual answer would have been tbh

Actually @Zombiefaceddwarf posted the lyrics early on, but they still don't make any sense. This song was written to be his second AGT act. He was going to get his foot in the door with the PowerPoint, then woo Heidi with this in the next round. The plan was to perform it with a full band on live TV.

Since he didn't get on the show, he never paid anyone to record the song:

That "Everybody watch out" part was pretty great so I had to add it to my video.

The lyrics fail to mention the glorious "woo hoo hoo" though.

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

It makes as much sense backwards as it does forwards.

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I hope this didn’t awaken any evil spirits and curse the orchard.

Good to know that a slurp sounds exactly the same backwards as it does forwards. It's amazing how you can still tell he's a drooling, wet mess.

 

[break these cuffs]

Oh me too fam, me too! That's the song that always makes me think of The Shaggs in terms of it's complete and total lack of talent in composing it, playing it and singing it.

I've linked this video before, but fuck it.

Russ should have been born 40 years earlier and managed these girls. Their talents match, and the Wiggin sisters might have even sucked him his penis at one time or another.

Are these women actual tards or is this some retarded, hippie freeform bullshit?