šŸ· Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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NSA said:
Remember when the Gunt and Andy were both talking about becoming MMA fighters after Knoxville? The Gunt claimed it would get in shape and agreed to fight Baked Alaska. What an inspiring and realistic goal.
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Gotta pop them roids on stream.

See, ralph isn't drunk it's just roid rage!

Edit: to all who do watch ralph. No one should be watching this morbidly obese alcoholic cuck but his boomer sycophants and clip channels. Stop giving this void views ffs.
 
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NSA said:
Remember when the Gunt and Andy were both talking about becoming MMA fighters after Knoxville? The Gunt claimed it would get in shape and agreed to fight Baked Alaska. What an inspiring and realistic goal.
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Remember when they were going to build a streaming network and a website together to avoid being banned places with better streaming capabilities than Stream.me? Apparently Ralph doesn't.
 
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Buckle up, everyone, this evening/afternoon (?) Is going to be pretty entertaining. When is he going to stream this shit show anyway?
 
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The_MmmBop_Gang said:
Buckle up, everyone, this evening/afternoon (?) Is going to be pretty entertaining. When is he going to stream this shit show anyway?
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I imagine at the normal time, but you know, with an hour of technical difficulties with a streaming program that he should have set up and locked in years ago at this point. It should be second nature!
 
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huckbeine said:
If I have to guess, he's using his mother's prescriptions. One of the many drugs that are prescribed to dialysis patients is Tramadol, which is a narcotic. I forgot the name of the other one, but that one is a opiate. He might be using his mother's prescription to buy drugs and take it for himself. As for the effect of the drugs, as someone who witnessed someone that takes it regularly, it can really make you high as a kite and knock yourself out, just to make you forget the physical pain (in relevance to dialysis).
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I have little doubt he'd steal a dying woman's pain meds. When those dry up he'll probably start scamming prescriptions. Might as well add a felony conviction for prescription fraud to attacking the police. Do it up right.
 
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huckbeine said:
If I have to guess, he's using his mother's prescriptions. One of the many drugs that are prescribed to dialysis patients is Tramadol, which is a narcotic. I forgot the name of the other one, but that one is a opiate. He might be using his mother's prescription to buy drugs and take it for himself. As for the effect of the drugs, as someone who witnessed someone that takes it regularly, it can really make you high as a kite and knock yourself out, just to make you forget the physical pain (in relevance to dialysis).
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Tramadol is a non-narcotic pain reliever (I use it). It's still potent in many ways, and lowers one's tolerance for seizure-inducing stimuli.
 
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Paddy O' Furniture said:
I imagine at the normal time, but you know, with an hour of technical difficulties with a streaming program that he should have set up and locked in years ago at this point. It should be second nature!
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I'm surprised more people haven't zeroed in on the "technical difficulties" in his remaining fan base. Ralph is the same guy who has hosted his own streams for years without Gator, he had been hosting most the shows on his computer during his peak last year. He has ragged on Sargon, Coach, etc. for not knowing how to run their streams right. Ralph by all metrics should be able to run OBS and use a phone. The only explanation for his incompetency lately is him being too intoxicated. A new phone and a windows update would not cause him to forget how to run a computer period.

He tried that "update" excuse Monday saying he needed to restart the computer to fix it, then Wednesday he is having the same problem. Did he not restart his computer in the 2 days between shows? i know its redundant to ask these questions but this is to get his remaining hangers on to think about this shit. Ralph should NOT by any metric be this technically inept. Now if he was intoxicated it explains it all. Just food for thought to anybody checking out this thread who are still believing Ralph's lies.
 
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I know in theory this should all be be funny because Ralph's hubris has led him to fuck up a good, incredibly easy gig and bring all of this down on himself, but whenever I check the thread I just feel kind of depressed.

@theralph I really hope your parole gets violated, you're put in prison and forced to get clean. Otherwise your retarded decisions are going to kill you.
 
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George Orwell said:
Every time I catch up with this thread, I feel like I need a nap. And then after the nap I find that I'm behind at least a dozen pages on some dumb shit that Ralph has done or said. It's gotten tough to keep up.
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I remember watching TotalBiscuit's thread as he was dying, dreading further updates to his worsen health (yet I could not turn myself away).

@theralph death watch when?
 
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Remember how people used to map various IBS personalities onto classic Morning Zoo/Shock Jock personalities?
Ralph is this guy:
ethan-lange.jpg
 
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Lord Akira said:
Is Bryan still banned from here? Bryan if you're reading this, try and convince Ralph to trade outlines on air if he's sober enough to run discord and take calls, you can get your micropeen itch scratched.
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No, but he's almost certainly sucking again until exposed and merged back into the main account.

Happy hunting!
 
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Glad I couldn't help said:
I remember watching TotalBiscuit's thread as he was dying, dreading further updates to his worsen health (yet I could not turn myself away).

@theralph death watch when?
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Biscuit was a douche with terminal cancer, Ralph is a retard with substance abuse problems.

It's gonna be a decade or so before it catches up to him, providing he doesn't just choke on his vomit.
 
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Fully willing to admit I'm wrong on this, but what if Ralph is pulling the long con? Tinfoil post incoming:

He's been around long enough to know what draws in viewers. His streams were most popular when covering ongoing dramas. When Tonka/Warski died off, he reverted to his go-to format and watched his numbers dwindle. With the move to DLive, he lost even more but continued with his usual show.

He knew this wasn't working out, and if he can't find a compelling drama to follow, why not create his own?

He uses his real life circumstances (sick mother, dead father, broken friendships) to recreate himself as a drunken, pathetic heel -- maybe even in coordination with Gator, Flam, and others.

He gets the dumpster fire going with the Soph stream, stokes it with the mom call, and really gets it rolling with Pillstream. All eyes are on him. Most will tune in to see how much worse it can get, but they'll still tune in.

He slowly but surely loses the slurring, drunken behavior; the tech issues resolve; new co-hosts come on board -- all while streaming to double his pre-meltdown numbers. Hell, he already has Dick, DamƩ, BlackPidgeon booked, and his tweets are actually coherent. Momentary sobriety or something else?

What if he dun goofed us?
 
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