🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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House cats don't really do that. They have no idea how to function in the real world.
I've never had just a house cat but I'm pretty sure cats never lose their neurotic bullshit magic. It'll come back home on its own.

The only cat I've had get in trouble was a black cat that loved to lay on the asphalt because it was warm. We knew it'd get hit one day and it'd meow incessantly and miserably if we kept it indoors. rip
 
Have none of you people owned cats before? My cats would disappear for a few days at a time and come back to eat. No idea where they go or what they do, they were neutered and everything. Cats just get bored and go on a spirit journey once a year or so. If they go missing for 3 days, that's when you start calling shelters.

Often they've found some kindly soul to feed them. They're not necessarily hungry, just greedy. They come back to you because that's a familiar territory, already deemed to be safe.
 
wisdom from /r/thedickshow

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A post from reddit I actually agree with?
Wow the Gunt brings people together.

@theralph
Hey, my dox is Ching Long Wang (青龍旺) and I am the owner of a local Chinese restaurant called "Ching Cong Chang (青蔥長)". We Specialise in obviously Cantonese cuisine, where fine delicates such as dog, cat, peacock, possums, guailaos, car engines, and kiwis are used. Bery Saverry!

Meet us at 14/88 Chinatown Town, Chinaman Centre food court.

We have your cat, we had a shortage on cat meat and she showed up. She violated my NAP(tm) by entering my premise.
She is now transformed.
food.jpg

Zidan and I will be enjoying this dish with some Er Guo Tou.

Kind Regards,
Ching Cong Chang
 
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I've never had just a house cat but I'm pretty sure cats never lose their neurotic bullshit magic. It'll come back home on its own.

The only cat I've had get in trouble was a black cat that loved to lay on the asphalt because it was warm. We knew it'd get hit one day and it'd meow incessantly and miserably if we kept it indoors. rip
Your cat was an Abbo? was it also a rama rama?
 
Have none of you people owned cats before? My cats would disappear for a few days at a time and come back to eat. No idea where they go or what they do, they were neutered and everything. Cats just get bored and go on a spirit journey once a year or so. If they go missing for 3 days, that's when you start calling shelters.
Yeah, but you don't have a hungry gunt.
 
My cats would disappear for a few days at a time
No idea where they go or what they do
That's how non-autistic living beings act.
I've never had just a house cat but I'm pretty sure cats never lose their neurotic bullshit magic.
I've tried once to get my house cat outside - after like a year of her staying indoors. She was shaking like a leaf and clinging too me all the way - terrified of absolutly everything, burying her face into my chest every time there was even mild noise of any kind.

She would not even cross the front door after that ever again, so I hadn't pushed it anymore.
 
100% of the reason I listened to his cat stream last night was in hopes of hearing a meow in the background.
Has anyone asked him to check the folds of his gunt yet? That much insulation would provide more than adequate soundproofing if the poor fucker crawled in there hunting the rodents that live comfortably off all the Doritos that escaped his drunken jaws?
 
I missed the stream live so I’m still getting caught up on it, but the first thing that stood out to me was how Ralph talked about us here at KF. His “Posters are weirdos, but some of them are probably okay” just felt like pandering to the ‘KF is lame’ crowd. I think it was really pathetic when he said KF was for archiving weirdos and pedophiles, and tracking news and happenings, and instead his thread was being used to bully a humble streamer who is getting kicked off of every major video platform.
Just seems like a defense mechanism for Ralph. Almost a year ago he was referring to Null as the Impressario of Kiwifarms. Being the old school GG leech participant that he is he is well aware what beneficial role the forum has played and does play. Him, Sargon, Matt, etc. probably owe a lot of videos to archives posted here saving a webpage that was deleted before their neet asses got out of bed. He will ignore the cases where KF has gotten children out of bad living conditions, documented enough evidence to get pedos arrested etc.

Its also his angst that somebody is calling him out that isn't direct family or irl friends. It's a tactic to try to shoot the messenger to say that "people on the internet caring about me is so lame". Some here might, some just care about he entertaining show they use to watch, some are trying to out Ralph on his lies, and some are just doing it for shits and giggles. Reality can be what ever he wants it to be right now because the narrative that he tried to push after the skeptics called him out about the Healstream was that he cared about charity. He undermined that lie on Friday by finally just admitting the whole stream was to fuck on sargon for not agreeing to come on to debate if he made the stream a charity stream.

Later he can go back and try to claim knoxville was a mistake and Andy talked him into it, he can claim Gator talked him into turning against Null, he can try to say the Zoom friendship arc was a ploy for him to dig up dirt on Zoom, hell he could even go for a rewriting gamer gate angle. This trend of trying to represent things in a different light to deflect criticism off himself will continue.
 
Looks like he successfully manipulated all of you into worrying about his cat instead of continuing to laugh at his gunt and substance abuse. This is a classic teenage girl tactic.

I think the cat thing is either bullshit or played up as a distraction and to gain sympathy points. Whether or not the cat is gone I don't believe for a second Ralph is actually worried about it. While it's bullshit that it's been succesful and has kind of doused the drama around him he's going to run out of things to use. People already didn't give a shit when he drummed up his war-vet grandfather and most mentions of his dad gets him mockery now.

The real annoying thing as a watcher of this dumpsterfire is that he's more or less succesfully put himself in a protective bubble and we won't get a big closure event like we've had with Donga, Matt, or Baked. Between the people who can take him down but don't because they want to be good people ( Flamenco, gator and Zidan ) and people Ralph couldn't put up a fight against but don't care enough to end him (Dick and Jim) i'm kind of expecting that he'll just kind of slowly drift into obscurity.

The only thing really to look forward to is that Dame hinted on Flamenco's stream the other night that his next big video was going to be about Ralph which might set him off into sperging out, but I doubt that video will drop anytime soon because he's been invited to come back next friday.
 
I think the cat thing is either bullshit or played up as a distraction and to gain sympathy points. Whether or not the cat is gone I don't believe for a second Ralph is actually worried about it. While it's bullshit that it's been succesful and has kind of doused the drama around him he's going to run out of things to use. People already didn't give a shit when he drummed up his war-vet grandfather and most mentions of his dad gets him mockery now.

The real annoying thing as a watcher of this dumpsterfire is that he's more or less succesfully put himself in a protective bubble and we won't get a big closure event like we've had with Donga, Matt, or Baked. Between the people who can take him down but don't because they want to be good people ( Flamenco, gator and Zidan ) and people Ralph couldn't put up a fight against but don't care enough to end him (Dick and Jim) i'm kind of expecting that he'll just kind of slowly drift into obscurity.

The only thing really to look forward to is that Dame hinted on Flamenco's stream the other night that his next big video was going to be about Ralph which might set him off into sperging out, but I doubt that video will drop anytime soon because he's been invited to come back next friday.
Yeah, at this point it looks like once the dopamine dries up he will just fade away without any real fireworks. He will never find another co-host that he can trust, and he can't do a show by himself. If he wasn't so useless he could do what Ghost does and put on a show for the trolls.
 
If he wasn't so useless he could do what Ghost does and put on a show for the trolls.

That's kind of what it sounded like on Friday when he said that people like watching dumpster fires, so what's the big deal if he's wasted on stream.

Obviously, that wasn't it - Ralph is pivoting hard from that (maybe that gunt pivot is what smashed and killed the cat?).

And you are absolutely right - he simply does not have what it takes to be Ghost or even DSP. @theralph, there will never be a saudi prince dropping gifted subs on your sorry ass.
 
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This trend of trying to represent things in a different light to deflect criticism off himself will continue.

This behavior seems very (((familiar))).

Seriously-

What was everyone expecting from a fat drunk that started his career on GG? Yes his drunk comments are funny but his ability to manage a show isnt there. All he had to do was collect good goy coins and talk shit about dumb people. Its literally free money.
 
@theralph, I know you will read this and I know you won't give two fucks, but you want to know how your situation looks like from the outside?
Don't forget to recall all of the warnings you've failed to pay attention to, before you go to bed forever.
P.S Hope Nora will do what Gator and Flamenco did. No citizenship worth keeping with your shit and no woman deserves to suffer from you. Ok, maybe, only Susan Scofield or Cecil Kelog.
 
Looks like he successfully manipulated all of you into worrying about his cat instead of continuing to laugh at his gunt and substance abuse. This is a classic teenage girl tactic.

Nobody's forgotten about his substance abuse problems, it's just that there's only so much you can say about an obese alcoholic pillhead's issues before everyone just says the same shit over and over.
 
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