Food You're Not Really Sure Anyone Even Buys

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Have you ever gone to the store to buy your usual fare of foodstuffs and then notice something in the aisles an think, "Does anyone even buy this stuff? Why are they even making this?"

This question popped into my head when I went to the store and in the chip aisle I found myself looking at the Fritos chips. Now for me, Fritos taste the same way that burning hair smells. I have no idea who buys these, let alone even enjoys them.

But maybe that's just me and everyone else loves the taste of burning hair.

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

Vegetables. Like, what the fuck?

 

[Clop]

Canned meats. I see food charities hand spam over to people who just want something free to eat, but who the fuck subjects their body to that crap and pays for it?

 

[Rand /pol/]

Canned meats. I see food charities hand spam over to people who just want something free to eat, but who the fuck subjects their body to that crap and pays for it?

I don't own a fridge and I like pork so blow me.

 

[MediocreMilt]

Canned meats. I see food charities hand spam over to people who just want something free to eat, but who the fuck subjects their body to that crap and pays for it?

Asian people. Hawaiians. Like not even kidding. The only people I've ever known who ate Spam were all Asian. And they ate a shitload of it.

 

[ProfDongs]

Canned meats. I see food charities hand spam over to people who just want something free to eat, but who the fuck subjects their body to that crap and pays for it?

People like this get that shit.

Spoiler: Not Safe for life

I never get people buying pre packaged frozen vegetables. They all taste like nothing, turn to mush, and are generally more expensive than getting fresh stuff that always tastes better.

 

[Tootsie Bear]

This question popped into my head when I went to the store and in the chip aisle I found myself looking at the Fritos chips. Now for me, Fritos taste the same way that burning hair smells. I have no idea who buys these, let alone even enjoys them.

Compared to other chip brands Frito chips are subpar. But I did like the honey BBQ flavored Frito chips, and my mom being from the south loves to make Frito pie.

I'll never understand why Sushi is popular with people. As an American it's not, well American, and I would like to visit Japan to try it there. But here it looks awkward.

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

Burger in a can.

Because the one thing bread needs, is to be sopped in grease and left in any vessel for an extended period of time, at all ever, that isn't in the wrapper of your stock everyday fast food joint.

 

[Tootsie Bear]

I never get people buying pre packaged frozen vegetables. They all taste like nothing, turn to mush, and are generally more expensive than getting fresh stuff that always tastes better.

Both frozen and canned veggies are okay but I dislike frozen and canned fruit. The latter is overpriced and tastes worse then fresh fruit. If you wanted something fruity you're better with fruit juice in my opinion.

 

[Sprig of Parsley]

Frozen veggies are nowhere near as good as fresh usually but certain brands are decent as a "fuck this I'm in a hurry/am not in the mood to chop vegetables/need veggies that keep longer than a week" solution. If you're cooking for one or two tops you might have difficulty actually using up a purchase of fresh veggies, depending on what you bought in what quantity. The universal exception to frozen veggies being passable is corn (that isn't baby corn) - frozen corn is gross. It's very important that you have a good freezer (read: frost free) or you'll just destroy anything you put into the freezer within a few weeks tops anyway.

Canned veggies are generally pretty gross, though corn and beans that aren't green/wax/string hold up reasonably well to canning. The only canned veggies I buy are black beans, they're fine and it's much less hassle than washing and cooking dry black beans.

Frozen fruit does not work. It's just bad. Only strawberries seem to be able to pull it off and still be edible. Notable exception for things like freezing grapes as a snack in summer or freezing watermelon slices wrapped in plastic wrap - that actually works well as long as you don't leave them in there any longer than it takes to get them partially frozen. Canned fruit is generally put in over-sweet syrup, but exceptions exist. Fruit responds better to canning than veggies. If you can at home with Mason jars and such some veggies will work too but home canning is a different animal anyway.

But anyway, I never see anyone actually buy wax beans. I'm not entirely sure what you'd use them for, exactly, as I suppose they're pretty much just a variant of green beans.

 

[Immortal Technique]

Buddha's Hand. Basically, if a jellyfish was turned into a lemon.

 

[Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake]

Turnips, because they routinely confuse the clerks at the checkout.

 

[JambledUpWords]

• Sardines: I like fish, but the way these are sold looks gross.
• Gas station sushi: it’s Russian roulette
• Pre-cooked bacon: bacon bits are one thing, but pre-cooked bacon is lazy and looks gross. The only people I’ve seen eat it are hamplanets.
• Chia seeds: the texture is gross and I don’t know why vegans hype it up so much.

 

[JULAY]

Buddha's Hand. Basically, if a jellyfish was turned into a lemon.

View attachment 815247

Buddha's hand is great for infusing into vodka.

I actually like Spam, and certain other canned meat. The one I don't understand how people buy is Potted Meat Food Product.

First of all, the name is fucking awful. Second, here are the ingredients:

Beef tripe, mechanically separated chicken, beef hearts, partially defatted cooked beef fatty tissue, meat broth, vinegar, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, flavoring, sugar, and sodium nitrite.

Here's what it looks like opened up:

Seriously, who the fuck looks at the ingredients, then thinks, "Hmm... Chock full of animal byproducts. Yeah, sounds good!" and then gets it home, opens it up, sees what it looks like, and still decides to put it into their body?

 

[Non-Threatening Niall]

The sight of people buying prawn crackers at the oriental market makes me start questioning stuff that dangerously treads the boundaries of self-destructive nihilism.

 

[Takodachi]

Mountain Dew.
I refuse to believe there is people out there who like that tongue burning piece of shit.

 

[whatever I feel like]

Powdered Milk! Seriously, what the fuck.

 

[Lioness]

The sight of people buying prawn crackers at the oriental market makes me start questioning stuff that dangerously treads the boundaries of self-destructive nihilism.

I fry prawn crackers at home - is that worse?

 

[SlayerFan213]

Limburger cheese. Legit smells like ass.

 

[crocodilian]

Canned meats. I see food charities hand spam over to people who just want something free to eat, but who the fuck subjects their body to that crap and pays for it?

Spam is pretty good. Certain recipes use it because it occupies a weird ground between bacon and ham, making it ideal for sandwiches and frying. You'll also notice these recipes use inexpensive ingredients, like rice or eggs, which is the reason people have been eating it for nearly 100 years. It's popular in South East Asia due to its (comparatively high) quality control and low cost, despite technically being "an import."

I never get people buying pre packaged frozen vegetables. They all taste like nothing, turn to mush, and are generally more expensive than getting fresh stuff that always tastes better.

Frozen vegetables work in recipes where your vegetables are going to end up mush anyway. Chicken a la king comes to mind; you can get a heaping amount of peppers and peas for a low cost, if you buy frozen. Some people also like to add vegetables into chili (especially white chili), casseroles, mac and cheese, etc. which frozen vegetables are very useful for.

Burger in a can.

Stuff like burger-in-a-can are a novelty overseas (Germans especially love it for some reason) or food designed for long-term storage, camping, bug-out bags, etcetera. It sounds silly now because you can walk 2 minutes up the road and order a burger, obviously. But when you can't do this, heating up a preserved burger can do wonders for morale. Why do you think there's stuff like a pizza MRE?

Sardines: I like fish, but the way these are sold looks gross.

Mercury aside, sardines are very healthy. Try making this and see if you still don't get why it's bought.