حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 125 13.1%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.7%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 528 55.3%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 228 23.9%
  • Total voters
    954
  1. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/1/1462.jpg?1421198724 4 minutes agoConnor:
    You know, to confess something, a lot of those posts about my parents were exaggerated. We actually love each other very much. The posts were from predominantly written during times when I was being a punkass.
From today's chat with Connor in "Stream Chat".
 
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So from today's chat:
  • Connor is going to volunteer at a local library
  • He is currently working on a resume, and should have it finished shortly
  • He is going to start working on writing cover letters
  • He is going to write a story for the forums, which will be written, edited, and finished within 20 days.
The betting kiosk is now open.
 
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I know I said we were going to get to absolutewriters, and we will, but I found something very interesting. It seems Connor likes to read CNN, and he especially likes to use Disqus to comment on articles.

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The comments in which Connor talks about a childs death by making a joke with a Batman quote
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The comments in which Connor describes himself as a lowlife scumbag
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The comments in which Connor uses his masters in Psyche101 to diagnose a criminal and claim he is better than him
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The comment in which Connor feels abortion is equal to adoption in how it can fuck a kid up (this was from 8 months ago so don't think he's changed)
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The comments in which Connor says that Adoption is the same as Abortion, and that people are idiots for equating "hating adoption" with "Hating Murica!". 30 or so comments aruging about adoption on a CNN article from only 10 months ago. For anyone who thinks Connor can change, you are wrong - he is an awful idiot without a shred of empathy and an unwillingness to learn anything.
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Let me reiterate. Connor was just talking about this, on a public forum, for the umpteenth time. He is an obnoxious little shit and has no clue what he is talking about on anything. Posts like these where he runs his mouth without learning anything cement in my mind that Connor is not "abused" by his parents, but he's a whiny bitch who can't handle any form of criticism. He either runs his mouth without research or makes something up without thinking, and expects everyone to agree with him.

The comment in which Connor quotes Zardoz
CNN 1-6.png

The comments in which Connor described his bowel movements as an act of terrorism
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The comments in which Connor's TV is broken
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The comments in which Connor says people who have abortions should be saints, and those who adopt children are only doing it so they can molest them
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The comments in which Connor says that Obama is the most corrupt president since Nixon, and that "Gays and blacks" are rabble rousing hoodlams that we were warned about from Duck Dynasty
CNN 1-10.png
(edit: unless I read this one wrong, which is possible. I can't view Disqus comment chains past 6 months I think, so I don't know if Connor is giving a sick burn to a guy who needs it, or holds these repugnant views himself.)
 
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Smutley said:
I know I said we were going to get to absolutewriters, and we will, but I found something very interesting. It seems Connor likes to read CNN, and he especially likes to use Disqus to comment on articles.

View attachment 13271

The comments in which Connor talks about a childs death by making a joke with a Batman quote
View attachment 13273

The comments in which Connor describes himself as a lowlife scumbag
View attachment 13274

The comments in which Connor uses his masters in Psyche101 to diagnose a criminal and claim he is better than him
View attachment 13275

The comment in which Connor feels abortion is equal to adoption in how it can fuck a kid up (this was from 8 months ago so don't think he's changed)
View attachment 13276

The comments in which Connor says that Adoption is the same as Abortion, and that people are idiots for equating "hating adoption" with "Hating Murica!". 30 or so comments aruging about adoption on a CNN article from only 10 months ago. For anyone who thinks Connor can change, you are wrong - he is an awful idiot without a shred of empathy and an unwillingness to learn anything.
View attachment 13279
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View attachment 13284
View attachment 13287
View attachment 13288
View attachment 13289
Let me reiterate. Connor was just talking about this, on a public forum, for the umpteenth time. He is an obnoxious little shit and has no clue what he is talking about on anything. Posts like these where he runs his mouth without learning anything cement in my mind that Connor is not "abused" by his parents, but he's a whiny bitch who can't handle any form of criticism. He either runs his mouth without research or makes something up without thinking, and expects everyone to agree with him.

The comment in which Connor quotes Zardoz
View attachment 13290

The comments in which Connor described his bowel movements as an act of terrorism
View attachment 13291

The comments in which Connor's TV is broken
View attachment 13292

The comments in which Connor says people who have abortions should be saints, and those who adopt children are only doing it so they can molest them
View attachment 13293
View attachment 13294


The comments in which Connor says that Obama is the most corrupt president since Nixon, and that "Gays and blacks" are rabble rousing hoodlams that we were warned about from Duck Dynasty
View attachment 13295
(edit: unless I read this one wrong, which is possible. I can't view Disqus comment chains past 6 months I think, so I don't know if Connor is giving a sick burn to a guy who needs it, or holds these repugnant views himself.)
Click to expand...

The last one would've been in a reply to a Guest (even if the offending comment was deleted by a mod). Given his exceedingly tasteless replies to all other topics, does the last one surprise you?
 
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Uzumaki said:
I don't buy any of his bullshit about "method writing" being the reason he hates adoption. I really wish I knew what the source of this particular trigger is for him.

Hey, remember when trigger was a word that had meaning? That's the sense in which I used it above.
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It makes no sense. It would make sense if he was just being an edgy tryhard who was trying to get a rise out of people (and don't get me wrong, I think that's partially it), but he seems to really, genuinely hate adoption despite having no experience with it whatsoever. Like I said before, I thought he had been adopted and then abused by his parents, but according to him, not only are they biologically related, he's exaggerated quite a bit about them.
 
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Cosmos said:
It makes no sense. It would make sense if he was just being an edgy tryhard who was trying to get a rise out of people (and don't get me wrong, I think that's partially it), but he seems to really, genuinely hate adoption despite having no experience with it whatsoever. Like I said before, I thought he had been adopted and then abused by his parents, but according to him, not only are they biologically related, he's exaggerated quite a bit about them.
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My best guess is that he's such a shitty person that he's incapable of love and he would never adopt since to him having children is all about passing on your genetics. Since he has no experience with how a non-broken human thinks and doesn't know what love is he can't conceive of the reason why someone would adopt. Therefore, they must have sinister ulterior motives.

I really wish I could think of a better answer than "evil robot; can't feel love" but that's the only one I have the parses.

Edit: Whatever the reason, I'm pretty sure he came to this conclusion after watching the movie Juno.
 
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Smutley said:
I know I said we were going to get to absolutewriters, and we will, but I found something very interesting. It seems Connor likes to read CNN, and he especially likes to use Disqus to comment on articles.
Click to expand...

Holy shit, he's on Disqus? I would pay actual money to see him go up against a user called "wmdkitty." I've run afoul of her on Disqus before, and her stance is that adoption should be the first and preferably only option for anyone seeking children, and that having biological children is not only irresponsible to our overpopulated planet, but abusive to the poor orphans languishing in the foster care system without "forever families" to love and care for them. (Of course, the difference here is that wmdkitty actually is an adopted kid and, despite her vitriol, has legit experiences by which she shapes her worldview.)

Disqus Thunderdome Cage Match, this Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! Two users enter! One user leaves!
 
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As a sidenote, someone needs to start a thread about WMDkitty. She's everything you could want in a lolcow: batshit crazy, huge internet presence, uses the same screenname everywhere so it's easy to connect the dots, and googles herself religiously.
 
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The Knife said:
As a sidenote, someone needs to start a thread about WMDkitty. She's everything you could want in a lolcow: batshit crazy, huge internet presence, uses the same screenname everywhere so it's easy to connect the dots, and googles herself religiously.
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The internet is getting too small. I remember WMDKitty when I used to post on the FSTDT forums. Bann happened to her just before I got bored and left.
 
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Hellblazer said:
So from today's chat:
  • Connor is going to volunteer at a local library
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I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on this one; even he should be able to laze around a library—for about a week before getting bored and returning to his old ways.

  • He is currently working on a resume, and should have it finished shortly
  • He is going to start working on writing cover letters
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I'll believe that he's working on these documents, but that doesn't mean I believe he'll start actively searching out a real job. Honestly, reading a résumé from him might be entertaining.

  • He is going to write a story for the forums, which will be written, edited, and finished within 20 days.
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When I see it, I'll believe it.
 
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hurrhurrhurr said:
What's with lolcows being bigoted right wing nutjobs?
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How dare you forget about our fox-god overlord? You're going to get spammed with so much anon hate, mark my fucking words.

In all seriousness, in my experiences, lolcows come from all walks of life. It's just that lolcows that are right-wing seem to be a lot more vocal about hot-button topics. With the emergence of SJWs, though, left-wing (but no less bigoted) nutjobs are starting to get louder and louder.

On topic: Juno's actually a pretty good movie, in my opinion.
 
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Xarpho said:
"Right wing nutjobs" would imply he has some grasp on politics, which I'm pretty sure Connor doesn't.

Who holds "abortion equals adoption" as a viewpoint? I'm pretty sure nobody does. Except, of course, Connor.
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He's a weird mishmash of beliefs. He supported Cliven Bundy on his Facebook and occasionally pops out with weird conspiracy stuff (like the post quoted above where he believed his cable going out was a government media blackout). i suspect his parents are Fox News worshippers and he's aping their beliefs, or that being a conspiracy theorist who knows "the real hidden truths THEY don't want you to know" has become part of his darkety-dark intelligentsia pose.
 
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I'm a jerk, but whatevs:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/ConnorBible?cf=profile

Connor said:
The first things people usually notice about me
One thing that people notice almost immediately upon meeting me is that I'm wise beyond my years. I'm very well-read (I believe I went through George Orwell's 1984 in elementary school) and I have a large vocabulary. I've won numerous awards of academic excellence, particularly in English classes, and I won the Lieutenant Governor's Award for Excellence In Expository Writing. I wrote an extensive paper on the subject of desensitization to media violence in my first semester at the Technical College of the Lowcountry, Beaufort Branch. Several of the certificates I've earned over the course of my education sit in front of a large cabinet in the house kitchen. To sum it all up, I'm a bit of a brainiac... except with math
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Marvel at the brilliance manifest by my many mediocre achievements!

Edit: Rats, am I? I didn't remember seeing it and skimmed the thread but it's large. Ah, well.
 
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