Stupid rumors/stories/"facts" you heard at school - And which you were naive enough to believe

[Freddy Freaker]

I think we all remember that Mew under the truck bullshit that got passed around to who knows how many schools. It's crazy how far that spread pre-internet shitposting

One kid took the Mewtwo vs. Mew battle and made it sound violent in that Mew kills Mewtwo in the game by pulling out the neck cord. I also believed the "Leave Magikarp at the Daycare for a year for a Mew" rumor.

Aside from these there were two pokemon rumors at my elementary school that if you did the right sequence of events or put in secret gameshark codes that you could

1. Unlock a bunch of secret legendaries called pokegods.

2. Go back to the team rocket member in cerulean city (if youre not too far through the game) and you can join team rocket

There was a rumor that persisted from second to fourth grade that they were going to put in a swimming pool at our school. Obviously no but a bunch of kids, me included, kept bugging the principal about when the pool was getting built.

In middle school there was a rumor that a boy and a girl were caught in the boys bathroom. She was supposedly sucking his dick and when they got caught he got surprised and pissed in her mouth

 

[ShittyRecolor]

That the sexy Math teacher would fuck boys who scored 100 on a test.
I fucking believed that lie and studied Math for nothing.

Oh man, for me that was my Biology teacher when I was 13-14. According to my friend who was in that same school ever since 2nd grade, she also used to teach them gym class, demonstrating all the exercises in a fairly skin tight aerobic attire. Those lucky bastards!

 

[Big Nasty]

That a pair of TV sports anchormen were gay lovers.

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

I once heard from a teacher, while we were studying World War II and the Holocaust, that Hitler's scientists tried to impregnate a woman with dog semen to create a super-soldier. It seemed like something that they would do and it came from an educator, so I fell for it, until doing research later. I can't imagine how many people he's misinformed, as he was a history teacher and loved discussing WWII, and how many of those students are spreading around nonsense. This is why the newer generations look stupid.

Well she was probably a white girl so I'm on the fence here.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

An English teacher in my high school with a reputation for being mean made comments suggesting our assistant principal was meaner than she was and merciless towards those students disciplined with in-house suspensions. The guy was anything but mean when I first interacted with him and preferred to politely address student body whenever possible -- largely earning and commanding their respect.

I also heard a different english teacher was a heavy drinker. Never having him though, I have no idea how true that may have been.

(And of course, somebody always said that their friend's cousin's boyfriend's sister had it happen to them, etc etc)

And when it gets debunked as a myth/urban legend/hoax for the umpteenth time, the people spreading it still insist it happened and we have to be vigilant or else it will totally happen to everyone they know.

 

[Bob's Ghost]

There are going to be 12 Star Wars movies according to playground knowledge. In 1980 this seemed like a great thing, not so much now though.

This was actually true at one point. Originally the original "trilogy" was going to be six episodes long, with the Empire defeated for good in 9. Then there was going to be the prequels which had a background character who seemed important but was nowhere to be seen in the original six movies, the fourth trilogy would explain what happened to him.
The part about the fourth Trilogy comes from the official Star Wars newsletter, the part about the original story being six movies long was revealed by Ben Brutt some years ago.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Banana spiders, not to be confused with rock spiders, was a cause for concern. They were big spiders that cocooned in a banana, eating it and growing until there was no banana left, only spider. When peeling the banana the spider would rush out and if you got bitten you would die.

Even though I was 5 I would have called bullshit on that if it weren't for the staff at my kindergarden talking about it in hushed tones while I was eavesdropping.

also there were rumors about one boy having only one testicle

I knew a kid with three testicles and I knew this to be true because he happily dropped trou then stretched his sack so it could be seen. To everyone. All the time. That boy ain't right.

-If you eat a heart, you get another heart.

That's true though, I make a living out of selling my excess hearts for transplantation.

 

[Count groudon]

Since our elementary school’s park was kinda shit, we were allowed to go play on the public park that was connected to the school by a fence once we entered 3rd grade. Naturally, kids being dicks and all some of the older kids told us a story about some creepy humanoid creature that had an almost entirely pitch black body except for its face which was deathly pale, red eyes, and murky brown razor sharp teeth that crawled around on all fours and began stalking the playground whenever it got dark out. Since most of my family lived near the park, we’d usually have birthday parties there and we’d stay until it started to get dark out. Can’t tell you how many times I’d take off running into the bathrooms or my parents car when it got dark out because I thought I saw something crawling just beyond the tree line.

 

[Dr. Henry Armitage]

Since our elementary school’s park was kinda shit, we were allowed to go play on the public park that was connected to the school by a fence once we entered 3rd grade. Naturally, kids being dicks and all some of the older kids told us a story about some creepy humanoid creature that had an almost entirely pitch black body except for its face which was deathly pale, red eyes, and murky brown razor sharp teeth that crawled around on all fours and began stalking the playground whenever it got dark out. Since most of my family lived near the park, we’d usually have birthday parties there and we’d stay until it started to get dark out. Can’t tell you how many times I’d take off running into the bathrooms or my parents car when it got dark out because I thought I saw something crawling just beyond the tree line.

That's kinda spooky. It reminded me of another one from elementary school. We had this small completely shaded playground with way nicer equipment than our large play ground. It was attached directly so the school unlike the regular playground which was in a field behind the school. The gate was always locked and we were never allowed to use it. So of course rumors flew. The most popular one was that it was haunted. It was supposed to be built on top of the graves of a bunch kids who got hit by a bus and were buried at the school. The playground was built to keep their ghosts happy. Some kids swear they saw the ghostly kids playing on it when they stayed late. In reality it was for the special ed kids and the preschoolers and occasionally kindergartners. anyone outside those groups was not allowed.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

The scary part is how most of these made it to Scandinavia as well, considering we mashed A on our gameboys til it didn't work anymore in most games since we didn't understand the dialogue. How the fuck the Marilyn Manson ribs story or video game 'cheats' made it here, I don't know.

 

[Faket0Fake]

That you can get into the barred windows in the background of Marble Zone in Sonic 1 and access a secret area.

That an area of the school was haunted. There was an area not used anymore where the janitor used to have a small home on site years ago and next to it were the old kitchens before part of the school was knocked down and a new area with a kitchen was built. It still stood derelict and unused and kids would look into the tiny windows and claim they could see ghosts.

In my teens the Tomb Raider secret ending where Lara gets naked rumor went around. I spent way too long trying various ridiculous methods to unlock it and see triangle boobies.

A kid claimed he saw a very different version of Terminator 2 with lots of naked women in it that his Dad had at home but was too scared to show anyone else so wouldn't show us. Turns out later I heard of a porn parody called Penetrator 2 so that might actually have been true..

 

[Yourmomshouse]

My group of friends were convinced that sex meant drinking eachother's piss by the older kids at elementary school. I think was like 4th grade or something so we were just learning sex ed, so we were completely impressionable. We also told the rest of our class about this and even convinced these two kids that really liked eachother gave bottles of their own pee to one another to drink because "real couples have sex" or something. We learned about actual sex in the next health class and I think they refused to talk to eachother afterwards.

Wouldn't be shocked if either of those kids went on to have a watersports thing

HAHAHA that's hilarious

 

[TheImportantFart]

A kid claimed he saw a very different version of Terminator 2 with lots of naked women in it that his Dad had at home but was too scared to show anyone else so wouldn't show us. Turns out later I heard of a porn parody called Penetrator 2 so that might actually have been true..

We had a similar situation to this. A Russian guy I went to school with told us he had Gladiator 2 on DVD. He was under the impression it was a legit sequel to the first film, but it turned out it was a porn film.

 

[Big Nasty]

In my teens the Tomb Raider secret ending where Lara gets naked rumor went around. I spent way too long trying various ridiculous methods to unlock it and see triangle boobies.

That actually has some basis in reality, since there was a "Nude Raider" hack in circulation in the late 90's.

 

[Broseph]

When I was in high school there was this completely retarded rumor that went around that SpongeBob was actually voiced by a woman and she had just passed away, so they were going to kill off SpongeBob and give him a funeral and everything in the show's "last episode" and then they would start a new show that had Patrick as the main character.

It's really funny how persistent this rumor was at my school since my friend actually believed it and he even told his mom about it since she loved SpongeBob.

I think we all remember that Mew under the truck bullshit that got passed around to who knows how many schools. It's crazy how far that spread pre-internet shitposting

On a related note, back in middle school during the Pokemon craze, some kid in my class told me that his favorite Pokemon in the Gen 1 games was called "Devildog". At first I thought he was confusing a certain Pokemon with something else so I told him that there was no such thing called that but he kept insisting that there was and he even said "it was one of the very first Pokemon you find in the game".

Back then when The Phantom Menace came out, a kid at school told me that George Lucas was going to kill off Jar Jar Binks in the sequel because he "looked too identical to some other cartoon character and that's why everyone was so mad at him for Jar Jar".

This same kid also claimed that he had a "hacked" PS1 that enabled him to skip all the loading screens in every game so that games never had to load on his system and it could translate Japanese games into English.

You haven't lived if you never met that kid who was an expert in all martial arts and had knowledge of this one technique in particular that can be used to knock people out instantly, but never demonstrates it for some reason or another.

Just like that kid who everyone knew was a total incel but he always swore up and down that he had a really hot girlfriend who gigged as a model on the side but she went to a different school in a different state very far away so that's why nobody knew who she was.

 

[Anonymous For This]

There was a rumor in high school that one of the speds in our class got caught fucking his dog in his backyard. I'm not sure if it was consensual or not.

Banana spiders, not to be confused with rock spiders, was a cause for concern. They were big spiders that cocooned in a banana, eating it and growing until there was no banana left, only spider. When peeling the banana the spider would rush out and if you got bitten you would die.

Even though I was 5 I would have called bullshit on that if it weren't for the staff at my kindergarden talking about it in hushed tones while I was eavesdropping.

I'm absolutely terrified of bananas now.

 

[Lensherr]

There was a rumor going around at my school and with some of my friends from extra-curricular activities that Barney the Dinosaur cussed a kid out on live television. Some kids even claimed to have seen it with their own eyes. Of course, that's complete BS, since the show was not filmed live.

That the earth is round and revolves around the sun.

Eddie Bravo is that you?

 

[Broseph]

There was a rumor going around at my school and with some of my friends from extra-curricular activities that Barney the Dinosaur cussed a kid out on live television. Some kids even claimed to have seen it with their own eyes. Of course, that's complete BS, since the show was not filmed live.

I remember hearing some variation of the same thing except with Barney swapped with Mr. Rogers.

 

[LatinasAreTheFuture]

That we'll run out of oil in 2020. Thanks science teachers.

We got oil for 400 years at least, or that’s what I’ve been hearing.

 

[TiggerNits]

Y2K was the big one I remember from elementary school.

Y2K testing in the military suckkkkkkkeeeeeeddddddd. I had to sit in the cockpit of every fucking T-45 and T-2C the squadron at Meridian NAS had, start the plane and then have the technicians set the date to Jan 1 2000, then turn off, restart and set to some random date after it and make sure it didn't create any errors they could see or that I could see. Being the most junior instructor led to a lot of bullshit tasking