Artcow WogglebugLoveProductions / Cynthia Hanson / Cherie Anne Hapney - One Womanchild's Fruitless Quest to Make Her Cockroach Husbando a Household Name

[Randall Fragg]

I like the gnome. As @Kyria the Great said, he's like an Aztec George Soros.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

I was going to watch the movie with my family as a joke watch and despite all the bad films we've endured together, we tapped out about 30 minutes in. Good lord. I'll concede that the animation is better than something like, Rapsitte Kids: Believe in Santa, but at least that was humorous in all its awfulness. The Wogglebug movie is just boring.
In terms of technical issues? The volume of voices is all over the place and we were adjusting the volumes a lot. Lots of distracting animation bugs like clipping and random flashes on frames.

But the good news is I was able to sketch concept art for my movie!

 

[Deadpool]

Reminds me of how the George Carlin narration of Saved From Scrap accidentally implied that Trevor the Traction Engine was a pedophile due to a combination of the voice George gave him and his expression when he said the line.

Ladies and gentlemen this thread has reached peak autism.

 

[Randall Fragg]

Okay, last night I subjected myself to this movie along with @NIGGO KILLA and @Kyria the Great, because I hate myself.
I have a basic outline of this movie prepared (note that I was drinking during this so things may be a bit fuzzy)

Spoiler: A modern masterpiece

• Our movie starts by introducing us to our kinda-main character, Sylvie (or as I'm calling her from now on, Bug Sperg). Bug Sperg is described as a shy girl who doesn't do well with her peers, but is actually really wise and intelligent and special. I wonder who this could be a self-insert of?
• Bug Sperg lives in...foster care? And orphanage? Maybe some kind of kid farm? Point is, Badtouch McBrowncoat, some random guy, adopts her. Or fosters her? It's not really explained. That plot thread gets resolved rather quickly.
• The next day, Bug Sperg is in school. There is a substitute teacher who will now be known as Count Chocula, due to his terrible Eastern-European accent. Count Chocula gives the class magnifying glasses and tells them to run around outside looking for shit. Bug Sperg finds a bug and dubs it a new species...because I guess an 8 year old has enough training to determine if a specimen is a new species?
• She takes it back to Count Chocula and names it a Wogglebug. FORESHADOWING!
• Bug Sperg gets adopted by Badtouch McBrowncoat and his wife, and has a wonderful perfect happy new home. This probably should have gone at the end of the movie, to make, like, tension or a character arc or something?
• Bug Sperg goes into the attic and finds a painting. She is then transported to a magical realm and meets our main character, the Wogglebug. Remember how I said that Bug Sperg was kinda the main character? The Wogglebug is the real main character, as he's the focus of the goddamn movie and the only one who has any attempt at a character arc.
• 
  I must consume your soul.
• The Wogglebug tells his story, about how he was once a simple bug living in a classroom. Then, one day, Professor Knowitall, the 'smartest person in the world', granted him sentience and made him human-sized for no discernible reason, like a mad god.
• Somehow, the Wogglebug is now Highly Educated. He gets a nice new suit and Professor Knowitall sets him loose upon an unsuspecting world, as he doesn't want to deal with the giant cockroach any more.
• Wogglebug sets out to gain acceptance in a land that hates and fears him, by going to the King of the land (who I'm calling Robert Baratheon, since he looks like a crude attempt to make a GoT character in GMod).
• 
  Still better than Season 8.
• Bug Sperg and Frankenroach set off to King's Landing. Understandably, King Baratheon is not too impressed with the giant cockroach, and tells him to fuck off. Unless, of course, he can complete a magical mystical quest of wonder. He needs to go talk to some oak trees to learn about the dark evil that threatens the land.
• Nothing Freudian about these trees at all
  
• The Wood-bearing trees reveal the source of the Evil: Aztec George Soros, a big-nosed, short, swarthy, power-mad, greedy gnome priest with a gay-New York jew voice who wants to implement a New World Order and change the forest from it's natural state. This movie is redpilled on the Gnomish Question.
• 
  The movie's villain, the autistic fear of change in the form of Le Happy Merchant.
• George Soros quickly proves to be the best character in the film, due to his hilarious voice acting and goofy antics. He does some typical evil gloating and then poofs away.
• Bug Sperg and Frankenroach wander off to recruit the elves to join their Shoah.
• This is what the elves look like by the way.
  
  Like Chinese knock-off versions of Link, with dead eyes and yaoi hands.
• There's some boring talking shit and we meet the fairy queen. One of the elves, who I'm calling Loink, joins up with Bug Sperg and Frankenroach.
• The party goes to recruit the Pixie division of the SS.
  
  The Tinkerbell Blow-up-Dolls join their party.
• Loink and Tonkerbull argue about racial supremacy until Bug Sperg tells them to knock it off, as they still need to resolve the Gnomish Question. Loink and Tonkerbull agree, and disappear from the rest of the movie, because Cynthia ran out of money to pay their voice actors.
• There is very bizarre scene where Bug Sperg and Frankenroach walk into a cave and see George Soros talking to a ball of light, in which he reveals that he's actually working for the voice in the ball of light, and is just a minion. Bug Sperg and co make no reaction to this, and it is never brought up again.
• Frankenroach and Bug Sperg recruit some furries to their campaign.
  
  They're supposed to be Bigfoots, because Bigfoot is a well-known staple of fantasy settings.
• The party then meet Tree Thot. She serves no purpose other than to flash tree-tits
  
• Frankenroach and Bug Sperg then go to recruit the Mermaids, who apparently live in a foot-deep pond in the middle of a field. George Soros shows up for more evil gloating, and trolls Wogglebug into tardraging, and freezes the mermaids.
• Bug Sperg and Wogglebug continue onwards into an evil forest full of Kiwi Trees, who mock them. The Kiwi Trees shatter Wogglebug's heart level by pointing out that his arrogance and temper allowed George Soros to mess with him. Wogglebug crashes into slumber, only for Bug Sperg to teach him the lesson of the movie: When people present you with criticism, just ignore them! You're perfect the way you are, and they're all mean haters! Introspection and self-improvement are for losers!
• They get past the forest and meet up with the rest of the gang for the Final Solution. Bug Sperg touches a dead tree and causes it to rise as Treebeard. This Dues ex Machina shoots sap all over George Soros, imprisoning him forever. Problem solved.
• For finding the Final Solution to the Gnomish question, King Baratheon awards Wogglebug with full citizenship, and makes him Chief Adviser. One has to wonder as to the amount of royal inbreeding required to appoint a talking cockroach as your national adviser.
• Professor Knowitall shows up and, TWIST!, he was the substitute teacher, Count Chocula, from the beginning of the film! Bug Sperg was the chosen one or some bullshit due to finding the bug at the start of the movie.
• Bug Sperg returns home, but Wogglebug promises that they'll have more adventures later
• And that's the film. Good lord it was a mess.

 

[Picklechu]

I can see the guide summary now:

"A 'friendly' cockroach who 'loves all children' takes a vulnerable, orphaned child into the forest, has her touch wood, and make it shoot sticky stuff, which solves all of his problems."

Freud, eat your heart out.

 

[Splendid]

Look at that dress, that's something that you'd wear to a night club.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Queen Popcorn Tits is my look for all future fancy gatherings.

 

[Lez]

• I would have Sylvie be adopted at the end. Maybe she's unsure about being adopted because she has trust issues due to her neglectful mother, so when she gets the key, she uses it to escape to that other world. There, she builds confidence and learns to trust people because she learns there are good people in the world, and when she comes back, she decides to be adopted by Mr. Nerd.
• I was distracted during this part of it, but I would simplify whatever Wogglebug's thing was as well as that drivel about Sylvie's name being important or whatever. There was so much static talking that I couldn't focus on it. Like I had no idea what his goal was because I zoned out. So basically, Wogglebug wants to prove he's smart and good but everyone treats him like he's dumb and a freak, so he wants to prove them wrong by becoming adviser to the king. It's unrealistic but he's so sure of himself that he goes anyway, and the king tells him to prove it by defeating the evil blah blah but the king doesn't think Wogglebug will manage it.
• I assumed that the professor and substitute teacher were the same person so their scenes confused me, and this being a revelation at the end confused me too.
• The scene when she goes up to the attic, sees the painting and knows to put the key in is badly done. I would have Sylvie go hide because she's scared about being adopted and some mystical voice (maybe the Queen Fairy) calls to her and she ends up there. She already has the key because it was recently given to her and she ran off soon after. She sees the glowing mark on the painting, remarks 'that's weird... it's shaped like a keyhole?' then her key glows too, and then she puts her key in.
• Give the furries actual purpose or cut them out entirely. Same with the naked lady.
• I stan Antibo.
• I can kind of see what you're doing with Wogglebug's arc but the way you go about it is so petty and childish. I liked him losing his cool against Antibo because he seemed flawed and as relateable as he can be as a big roach. Wogglebug should learn to be confident in himself and that he has room for improvement and things to learn still, and that he's not better than everyone else. However, not being perfect doesn't mean people will hate him.
• Wogglebug should tots date Antibo at the end.

 

[drain]

Me and my mother weren't getting along for years.

gee I wonder WHY

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Those tree titties are hot.

 

[PsychoNerd054]

Those tree titties are hot.

The tree dicks are a must, too.

 

[WogglebugLover]

@Randall Fragg I was rather amused by your overview of the movie. And the reason why I had the elf Christeph and the Pixie Leader leave Wogglebug and Sylvie in the middle was because I couldn't think of a way as to how to have them stay without ruining the rest of the movie which I already thought was the best I could do.

@Lez I tried to think of how I could have Sylvie adopted at the end but I just couldn't figure out how to without ruining much of what the movie was all about.

Maybe someday I'll rewrite the script again, and hopefully before I sign to have a live action version made. But I would most likely need to hire someone to rewrite with/for me. And at the moment I can't afford to hire any writers. There were some things in the version me and Richard wrote that I liked better and I am hoping to make a new version of it someday.

And to those who don't like Patrick as much as they liked Richard. I agree at least that Richard was a superior voice actor and he should still be working with me. I miss him every day. But I can't see any realistic way of having him return to me. And I actually do love Patrick as the new voice. And I have no intention of replacing him any time soon if I can help it. He is actually still in the hospital and maybe it was just as well he wasn't able to be at the movie's premiere because I wouldn't want him present while anyone of you was bashing on the character he plays. But he will see the film as soon he comes back with the chat replay disabled and I am hoping to have him record a commentary track for it all in the Wogglebug's voice.

Another reason why I want to keep him over anyone else is because he delights me by talking to me as the Wogglebug before getting into his lines in most of the audio files he sends me. Here are a few examples:

 

[Picklechu]

You could hire "writers" if you hadn't wired all of your mom's money to a Nigerian scammer.

 

[Deadpool]

@WogglebugLover here are the biggest issues your movie will face. First it's boring as shit. Everyone stands around mostly motionless the entire movie. It's not going to hold the attention of any child. Younger children need action and humor suited to kids to keep their attention. Older kids have more interesting thing's to do than listen to a bed bug talk about how great it is. Someone on chat said "part animation, part imagination." That's fucking stupid. If a child is imagining while a movie is on its because it bored them.

Second it's creepy as fuck. The character models and animations dip waaaaaaayyyyyyyy too deep into the uncanny valley. Especially Sophie, she looks like she has downs and macrocephaly. Character models move jerkily and often clip into themselves. Then there is the seemingly pedophiliac relationship between Sophie and Wooglebug. Granted we know it's because you personally want to have sex with a giant bed bug, but some parents who stumbled onto it could think it was meant to show kids it was ok to love strange adults, and even sleep with them. (The scene where they spoon in the forest would get pedobear himself excited. Oh yeah and tree titties" and cocks.

The only saving graces was Antibo and the kiwi trees. I think having a movie of them hanging out making fun of wogglebug while he watched and cried would be pretty cool.

 

[Overcast]

And to answer a pending question: Yes, the mocking trees were based on the Kiwifarms.

Sad that you feel that way about us.

Putting that aside, I have to agree with the criticisms given here.

Part of what makes a good animated film is... well the animation. And there's barely any to speak of here. The characters just stand around talking and talking and talking and not doing anything.

Kids have short attention spans, and if something isn't happening on screen, they'll lose interest rather quickly.

And really, as weird as it sounds, I wouldn't mind something like the Wogglebug having a decent story. You'll just have to be a bit more true to his roots and make him relatively unlikable at the beginning, but as the story goes on, he actually learns more and more about people, humbles himself and actually grows as a character.

The little girl could serve as a foil to him. Someone who's young but actually *is* smart and perhaps helps the Wogglebug see things he wouldn't normally.

Judging by the tree scene, you kind of had a good idea going with Wogglebug breaking down and crying over what the trees are saying to him. But it doesn't feel earned just yet.

And for the love of god, please do some better editing. Having a little girl in a compromising position like this:

sends a very bad message and people would rightly call you out for it.

 

[Deadpool]

Sad that you feel that way about us.

Putting that aside, I have to agree with the criticisms given here.

Part of what makes a good animated film is... well the animation. And there's barely any to speak of here. The characters just stand around talking and talking and talking and not doing anything.

Kids have short attention spans, and if something isn't happening on screen, they'll lose interest rather quickly.

And really, as weird as it sounds, I wouldn't mind something like the Wogglebug having a decent story. You'll just have to be a bit more true to his roots and make him relatively unlikable at the beginning, but as the story goes on, he actually learns more and more about people, humbles himself and actually grows as a character.

The little girl could serve as a foil to him. Someone who's young but actually *is* smart and perhaps helps the Wogglebug see things he wouldn't normally.

Judging by the tree scene, you kind of had a good idea going with Wogglebug breaking down and crying over what the trees are saying to him. But it doesn't feel earned just yet.

And for the love of god, please do some better editing. Having a little girl in a compromising position like this:

sends a very bad message and people would rightly call you out for it.

I agree the wogglebug doesn't look too bad. He looks happy and friendly I could see him in a kids show or something. However his voice is grating as fuck. No matter who voices him it just sounds bad. It's not their portrayal it's the design of the voice that's terrible.

Then there is his personality. You say he learns humility but he doesn't. The kiwi trees give valid criticism and Sophie says ignore it because I like you. Then he goes on being the smug insufferable ass he was before. Much like @WogglebugLover does in this thread. If that's how she personally wants him, that's fine. However she can't expect to attract much of an audience with the character as is.

 

[WogglebugLover]

@scorptatious I am not going to rewrite my script and series in that way. Because as far as I'm concerned making him as completely likable as possible (flaws and all) is being exactly true to his roots. Which is how I portray him in the prequel "The Incredible Tale of Mr. Wogglebug." And I plan to explain this while showing both scripts to a certain writer on Fiverr who helps people rewrite their screenplays like a pro for $50 as his premium package. He is out of office right now fulfilling orders but he says he will be back on August 1st and it should be then I will have at least $50 to spend.

And @Deadpool the girl's name is Sylvie, not Sophie. And I am sorry you do not like the voice of the Wogglebug but it actually does make me smile and that is all that matters as far as I'm concerned.

 

[PeckingOrder]

Making a character “as completely likable as possible” doesn’t make for a very engaging character, though. A protagonist should have a character arc and learn to better themselves, having them just be “perfect” from the get go is awfully boring.

 

[PsychoNerd054]

And @Deadpool the girl's name is Sylvie, not Sophie. And I am sorry you do not like the voice of the Wogglebug but it actually does make me smile and that is all that matters as far as I'm concerned.

One of the 22 rules of storytelling from Pixar is: "You gotta keep in mind what’s interesting to you as an audience, not what’s fun to do as a writer. They can be v. different." and for good reason. It's usually a terrible idea, especially when you're working on a project for an audience, to just go with the shit you find cool, while everyone else is clearly gonna hate it. In other words, don't just make movies for yourself if you want others to enjoy it too.

 

[The Un-Clit]

Okay, last night I subjected myself to this movie along with @NIGGO KILLA and @Kyria the Great, because I hate myself.
I have a basic outline of this movie prepared (note that I was drinking during this so things may be a bit fuzzy)

Spoiler: A modern masterpiece

• Our movie starts by introducing us to our kinda-main character, Sylvie (or as I'm calling her from now on, Bug Sperg). Bug Sperg is described as a shy girl who doesn't do well with her peers, but is actually really wise and intelligent and special. I wonder who this could be a self-insert of?
• Bug Sperg lives in...foster care? And orphanage? Maybe some kind of kid farm? Point is, Badtouch McBrowncoat, some random guy, adopts her. Or fosters her? It's not really explained. That plot thread gets resolved rather quickly.
• The next day, Bug Sperg is in school. There is a substitute teacher who will now be known as Count Chocula, due to his terrible Eastern-European accent. Count Chocula gives the class magnifying glasses and tells them to run around outside looking for shit. Bug Sperg finds a bug and dubs it a new species...because I guess an 8 year old has enough training to determine if a specimen is a new species?
• She takes it back to Count Chocula and names it a Wogglebug. FORESHADOWING!
• Bug Sperg gets adopted by Badtouch McBrowncoat and his wife, and has a wonderful perfect happy new home. This probably should have gone at the end of the movie, to make, like, tension or a character arc or something?
• Bug Sperg goes into the attic and finds a painting. She is then transported to a magical realm and meets our main character, the Wogglebug. Remember how I said that Bug Sperg was kinda the main character? The Wogglebug is the real main character, as he's the focus of the goddamn movie and the only one who has any attempt at a character arc.
• 
  I must consume your soul.
• The Wogglebug tells his story, about how he was once a simple bug living in a classroom. Then, one day, Professor Knowitall, the 'smartest person in the world', granted him sentience and made him human-sized for no discernible reason, like a mad god.
• Somehow, the Wogglebug is now Highly Educated. He gets a nice new suit and Professor Knowitall sets him loose upon an unsuspecting world, as he doesn't want to deal with the giant cockroach any more.
• Wogglebug sets out to gain acceptance in a land that hates and fears him, by going to the King of the land (who I'm calling Robert Baratheon, since he looks like a crude attempt to make a GoT character in GMod).
• 
  Still better than Season 8.
• Bug Sperg and Frankenroach set off to King's Landing. Understandably, King Baratheon is not too impressed with the giant cockroach, and tells him to fuck off. Unless, of course, he can complete a magical mystical quest of wonder. He needs to go talk to some oak trees to learn about the dark evil that threatens the land.
• Nothing Freudian about these trees at all
  
• The Wood-bearing trees reveal the source of the Evil: Aztec George Soros, a big-nosed, short, swarthy, power-mad, greedy gnome priest with a gay-New York jew voice who wants to implement a New World Order and change the forest from it's natural state. This movie is redpilled on the Gnomish Question.
• 
  The movie's villain, the autistic fear of change in the form of Le Happy Merchant.
• George Soros quickly proves to be the best character in the film, due to his hilarious voice acting and goofy antics. He does some typical evil gloating and then poofs away.
• Bug Sperg and Frankenroach wander off to recruit the elves to join their Shoah.
• This is what the elves look like by the way.
  
  Like Chinese knock-off versions of Link, with dead eyes and yaoi hands.
• There's some boring talking shit and we meet the fairy queen. One of the elves, who I'm calling Loink, joins up with Bug Sperg and Frankenroach.
• The party goes to recruit the Pixie division of the SS.
  
  The Tinkerbell Blow-up-Dolls join their party.
• Loink and Tonkerbull argue about racial supremacy until Bug Sperg tells them to knock it off, as they still need to resolve the Gnomish Question. Loink and Tonkerbull agree, and disappear from the rest of the movie, because Cynthia ran out of money to pay their voice actors.
• There is very bizarre scene where Bug Sperg and Frankenroach walk into a cave and see George Soros talking to a ball of light, in which he reveals that he's actually working for the voice in the ball of light, and is just a minion. Bug Sperg and co make no reaction to this, and it is never brought up again.
• Frankenroach and Bug Sperg recruit some furries to their campaign.
  
  They're supposed to be Bigfoots, because Bigfoot is a well-known staple of fantasy settings.
• The party then meet Tree Thot. She serves no purpose other than to flash tree-tits
  
• Frankenroach and Bug Sperg then go to recruit the Mermaids, who apparently live in a foot-deep pond in the middle of a field. George Soros shows up for more evil gloating, and trolls Wogglebug into tardraging, and freezes the mermaids.
• Bug Sperg and Wogglebug continue onwards into an evil forest full of Kiwi Trees, who mock them. The Kiwi Trees shatter Wogglebug's heart level by pointing out that his arrogance and temper allowed George Soros to mess with him. Wogglebug crashes into slumber, only for Bug Sperg to teach him the lesson of the movie: When people present you with criticism, just ignore them! You're perfect the way you are, and they're all mean haters! Introspection and self-improvement are for losers!
• They get past the forest and meet up with the rest of the gang for the Final Solution. Bug Sperg touches a dead tree and causes it to rise as Treebeard. This Dues ex Machina shoots sap all over George Soros, imprisoning him forever. Problem solved.
• For finding the Final Solution to the Gnomish question, King Baratheon awards Wogglebug with full citizenship, and makes him Chief Adviser. One has to wonder as to the amount of royal inbreeding required to appoint a talking cockroach as your national adviser.
• Professor Knowitall shows up and, TWIST!, he was the substitute teacher, Count Chocula, from the beginning of the film! Bug Sperg was the chosen one or some bullshit due to finding the bug at the start of the movie.
• Bug Sperg returns home, but Wogglebug promises that they'll have more adventures later
• And that's the film. Good lord it was a mess.

My sides, I'm dying here! This shit makes "Food Fight" look like fucking Avatar.

GodBear Bless you @EurocopterTigre for archiving this and for the Mega link. I am saving this until my bro comes over and we watch this well lubricated with vodka. This is gonna be 'Heroes of Wrestling' kind of horribad, the kind that the booze smoothes over so perfectly making for a howlingly funny experience. :-)