Artcow WogglebugLoveProductions / Cynthia Hanson / Cherie Anne Hapney - One Womanchild's Fruitless Quest to Make Her Cockroach Husbando a Household Name

[Rabbit Bones]

Nothing yet as he is out of office until August 1st. But his premium package only costs $50. Though if I wanted the job done in 4 days instead of 14 days I would have to pay him an additional $125. But as I told him I am willing to work with him as long as it would take and go with the lower price.

For $50, he isn't going to put up with your clingy, obsessive bullshit for very long.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

For $50, he isn't going to put up with your clingy, obsessive bullshit for very long.

He's going to shit out a low-effort version of what Cynthia demanded, but since it'll say "Wogglebug" in a fancy font on the first page, she's going to love it, since she's inherently unable to discern the quality of a product.

 

[WogglebugLover]

He seems well worth a try for me with a solid 5 star rating and 152 positive reviews. And I plan to discuss things with him as thoroughly as possible before making my purchase.

 

[Puddleduck]

Cynthia - a rule of thumb with children is when planning anything from films to lessons ... their attention span is roughly one minute per year, but for best results aim for 3/4. So a five year old would watch five minutes of a scene (or teacher talking) before getting bored, but aim for about three and a bit.
If a scene or conversation runs for longer than that, either move on or find a way to change it up.



Sidebar - the fruit kiwis grow on trees, right? I'm here for the Mocking Kiwi Trees!

 

[Coelacanth]

Too late, we’re doing it

I offer my services as an artist and storyboarder

If this is going to be a thing then I offer my art skills too - mostly concept art and writing. Would be funny to see her chimp out over something that could possibly be ten times better than the dumpster fire that was her movie. Even better if we can make it without having to put any large amounts of money into it.

 

[8777BB5]

If this is going to be a thing then I offer my art skills too - mostly concept art and writing. Would be funny to see her chimp out over something that could possibly be ten times better than the dumpster fire that was her movie. Even better if we can make it without having to put any large amounts of money into it.

I too offer my writing skills as well as my researching skills for this fun project.

 

[Miss Misery]

Sidebar - the fruit kiwis grow on trees, right? I'm here for the Mocking Kiwi Trees!

Vines. Imagine an overgrown wine vineyard.

 

[8777BB5]

So since I had some time this morning I thought I'd cook up a Wogglebug parody to get things rolling. All spelling and grammar mistakes are intentional as I want to get a good feel of this glorified fanfic. So without further ado, let's begin.

Fanfiction Autism: If you're wondering where the story is it's in the spoiler

Spoiler

Hello to all of you, my dear young friends! It gives me such pleasure to see you all today! Now as you must’ve noticed I am a fifty-foot tall fire-breathing gentlebug who indulges in such gentlebug past times as squashing speds with my balls. I learned this all by listening to and observing a Nigerian who is taking his sweet time in getting my diploma made. And now as I teacher myself let me show you a day in my life.

Every morning I get fucked by the sun. I then waltz outside and cum on a couple close friends of mine, The Scarecrow and Tin Woodman. I smile and blow fire on them frying them to a crisp.

In the Emerald City courtyard I find Princess Dorothy and her friends Jack Pumpkinhead and The Sawhorse. It seems the two of them are having a sort of a dispute over something. “What the hell are you doing you motherfuckers?” I asked.

The three ignore me as they talk. As I wait for them to respond I hear Jack Pumpkinhead mention something about the Little Engine that Could, Princess Dorothy mention a land ironclad and The Sawhorse mention a nuclear bomb.

Deciding to let them handle their dispute I go to the woods and crush a sped with my balls. As I’m doing this I hear Vulgar noises coming from the woods. I see some Kiwi Trees insulting me along with their leader Antifa the Gnome. I respond by trying to breathe fire on them but they’re too mean and nasty. Just then my friend Sylvie comes walking up. After she flashes me her coochie I spoon with her. “I’ve got a great surprise for you WoogleBug,” she says.

“What is it my sweet?” she asks.

“It’s down by the Pink Lemonade River,” says Sylvie.

“Delightful,” I say.

I then go down to the Pink Lemonade River. As I approach, I hear someone saying “Owls are of the Predators.”

I look ahead and see a sped near the railway line. I walk towards him and he turns to me. “You know Mellow is a Yellow color,” he says.

“Yes,” I say.

I then proceed to crush him with my balls as suddenly I hear a whistle. Moments later the Little Engine that Could rolls in with a land ironclad on a flatcar. The Land Ironclad hurls a nuclear bomb at me. Fortunately nuclear bombs can’t kill me. The only thing that can kill a Wogglebug is splat!

 

[Randall Fragg]

Hell, I’m a talentless hack fraud, but I offer to write and/or do terrible voice acting.

 

[PsychoNerd054]

I can still make the best Wogglebug movie possible for me to make, one way or another. And I would prefer to take advice from those who are experts in how I want to do so, and that means not anyone who feels there needs to be in any way a 50 ft tall fire-breathing Wogglebug in it. And fortunately I most likely have found who I need on Fiverr. He replied to my message yesterday and showed a lot of willingness and eagerness to help with anything I want.

Tough shit lady, when you are actually working for a company, chances are that the final product will most likely not completely follow your original ideas, primarily because again, you're trying to create this movie in order for people to invest their time in learning about an obscure character from the Wizard of Oz.

 

[Coelacanth]

In the Emerald City courtyard I find Princess Dorothy and her friends Jack Pumpkinhead and The Sawhorse. It seems the two of them are having a sort of a dispute over something. “What the hell are you doing you motherfuckers?” I asked.

Please tell me this was a reference to My Immortal. Even if it isn't this line made me laugh more than I probably should've. Thank you for making this masterpiece.

Tough shit lady, when you are actually working for a company, chances are that the final product will most likely not completely follow your original ideas, primarily because again, you're trying to create this movie in order for people to invest their time in learning about an obscure character from the Wizard of Oz.

This. If there was a team working on the movie (most likely as a result of being high or drunk or both) most of the shit that was in it would've been axed or used as a foundation to build upon - the movie felt like a bland group of tropes stitched together. But of course, considering Cynthia's "vision" as the creator, that isn't all that surprising.

 

[8777BB5]

Please tell me this was a reference to My Immortal. Even if it isn't this line made me laugh more than I probably should've. Thank you for making this masterpiece.

It is a reference to My Immortal. I figured an educator like Wogglebug would take notes from that fucking poser Albert Dumblydore

 

[Kamov Ka-52]

Where do I sign up for a role in the Kiwi Farms Wogglebug movie, I can edit/give script feedback or do some (poor) voice acting.

 

[Gordon Cole]

I can do a draft/tweaking if anyone wants me to.

 

[howyadoin]

I can help with character design if you want.

 

[8777BB5]

Looks like all hands are coming on deck. So I looked over the past few pages and I see that among the common interests:

WoggleBug has to be Fifty Feet Tall and Breathe Fire
Antibo needs to be prominent/potential hero role
Kiwi Trees need a prominent/hero role
The theme would be horror verging on black comedy

Other ideas include focusing on other Oz Lore, focusing on increasing the dark/black comedic themes of the Hanson's unintentially dark/black comedy Wogglebug story and focusing on things that have come up previously in the thread (like Mantis Toboggan). All of which would make this movie a lot more interesting/enjoyable than what @WogglebugLover has come up with. So with that out of the way I think it might be a good idea to start outlining what would make the best script and who should the characters be.

 

[Coelacanth]

Looks like all hands are coming on deck. So I looked over the past few pages and I see that among the common interests:

WoggleBug has to be Fifty Feet Tall and Breathe Fire
Antibo needs to be prominent/potential hero role
Kiwi Trees need a prominent/hero role
The theme would be horror verging on black comedy

Other ideas include focusing on other Oz Lore, focusing on increasing the dark/black comedic themes of the Hanson's unintentially dark/black comedy Wogglebug story and focusing on things that have come up previously in the thread (like Mantis Toboggan). All of which would make this movie a lot more interesting/enjoyable than what @WogglebugLover has come up with. So with that out of the way I think it might be a good idea to start outlining what would make the best script and who should the characters be.

Just a small suggestion, but perhaps we should make a thread in the Art and Literature section like some peeps did to remake PK's Floraverse, just so we don't end up clogging the wogglebug thread with our 'sperging too much? I'm fine with wherever we plan stuff, but I'm just thinking about other kiwis who don't want to sift through page upon page of planning just to get to Cynthia's posts here and all.

 

[8777BB5]

Just a small suggestion, but perhaps we should make a thread in the Art and Literature section like some peeps did to remake PK's Floraverse, just so we don't end up clogging the wogglebug thread with our 'sperging too much? I'm fine with wherever we plan stuff, but I'm just thinking about other kiwis who don't want to sift through page upon page of planning just to get to Cynthia's posts here and all.

Sounds like a good idea.

Edited: For those interested in participating in making a Kiwi Farms Wogglebug Movie check out this thread https://kiwifarms.net/threads/remaking-the-wogglebug-movie.58344/ in Art and Literature

 

[drain]

You must all be joking.

Why would someone joke on the internet, my fam? Especially here, why would we joke?

And just how would you be able to make your own movie?

First, not using the tactics you already used, you can be fucking sure about it.

Also, @WogglebugLover , are you aware that if you ask someone to not do something or else, people will be just more inclined to do it right? What would you do if I said I'm 3D modelling one of your ''intellectual properties'' right now and selling the idea as my own?

 

[WogglebugLover]

Why would someone joke on the internet, my fam? Especially here, why would we joke?



First, not using the tactics you already used, you can be fucking sure about it.

Also, @WogglebugLover , are you aware that if you ask someone to not do something or else, people will be just more inclined to do it right? What would you do if I said I'm 3D modelling one of your ''intellectual properties'' right now and selling the idea as my own?

Just so you know I registered the script I made my version of the movie with at the WGA. And Richard Poshard also registered the script he co-wrote with me there also. Which is why I cannot sell the version of the movie I made with it, as badly as I want to. And the 3D models of the movies are more the intellectual property of the vendors who made them, and the Wogglebug's design of them belongs to Richard Walsh.

And I have of course read the thread just started about making some sort of parody of my movie just to piss me off. I admit I can't think of any worse reason to make any project than just to piss someone off. But I will do my best to not let you have that satisfaction. And I at least hope it pisses all of off that no matter what I will keep moving forward with my dreams and my visions of my Wogglebug franchise. Even if I have to remake my movie again. And also that I have decided I can get far better advice from just about anyone than I can get from any of you.