حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 125 13.1%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.7%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 528 55.3%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 228 23.9%

  • Total voters
    954
It's that time again, Kiwis! Part 2 of Connor's life at WrongPlanet.

Connor shows everyone the empathy that he wishes to receive in return
(really dude? You're a fucking asshole)
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And right off the heels of that post comes one I agree with 100%. Please please please do some of these for the forum!
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As someone who loves the 80's, Connor's views on Shannon Doherty are really surprising (posts previous to his are removed)
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One of the longest running Connor triggers is suggesting he work out. His response will either be "Why so I can just pick up skanky shallow bitch whores?" or "Fine if you want me to do that why don't I just eat steroids until I'm ripped and then write shit for airports like the jock hack I am?". This is the second one.
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Remember how Connor's parents are abusive drunken monsters who are always trying to cut his wiener off? Yeah... funny how those stories grew over the years.
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RANDOM ACCESS HUMOR XD
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Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha... unless it's on a forum that is :^)
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Computer Advice Thread!
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For reference this is what he's gaming on.

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Wow. His mother won't let him watch horror movies. I wonder how he snuck Videodrome past her...
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Under all this bluster and meanness I guess I really am a sentimental guy. I'm going to leave this post on a positive note. @Connor , please read what you wrote on WrongPlanet in 2009. You were upset about something and down on yourself, and the next day you were upbeat for almost completing your project.
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Dude, you've got it in you to do things, from writing to school to even working a job, but you are failing at everything because the thought of failure - not actually failing - paralyzes you. You're in a response loop where you get nervous, which makes you you upset, which pisses you off, which in turn makes you start worrying again when the anger wears off.

Print that screen shot out and tape it to your bathroom mirror and read it every morning. Remind yourself you can do things, so you will start believing it.
 
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500 000 words is approximately 1111 pages. Which is around the same length as Lord of the Rings

Connor couldn't write a novel even if he tried if he think that's too many words. I doubt he'd read 500 000 words much less contemplate writing them.
 
Damn. Some of my old posts from five years ago are pretty dumb...2009 had a lot of Internet drama for me, banned from at least one site, and laughed out by another...but some of those posts are just mean-spirited. I hope you've matured since then, Connor.
 
I'll be looking in to this exhausting collection of works chronologically by thread, and this is going to be a long series of parts. I hope you spergs enjoy this half as much as I do!
I think we all do. You're doing Godbear's work, @Smutley .

Connor's first post explains the genesis of his username and his compassion for other autists.
Jesus Christ. For some reason, though, I couldn't stop laughing at Connor trying to strangle himself with bedsheets. Before anyone gets mad at me,
one time I tried to kill myself by mixing ammonia & bleach & breathing in the fumes. I stopped because suffocating to death really, really hurts.
I can't stop laughing about that, either. Probably because it's so dumb? I dunno.

crawwwwwling in my skiiiiiiiiiin
I prefer cloudy days, myself. But goddammit, Connor.

Redesigning Eva proto-sperging. In all honesty? This idea he has is leaps and bounds better than what his idea is now.
Agreed. I'd read the shit out of that. That "waiting for reply. . ." shit pisses me off, though. STOP BEING SO IMPATIENT, JESUS.

"Yeah, well, Big Autism is the reason all you retards have it so fucking easy!"
I. . .what?

Connor has :oops: lewd thoughts :oops:
I thought he'd relate to Shinji because they're both little angstmuffins, not want to bone him. Since he presumably sees himself in Shnji, does this mean Connor wants to do himself in some weird, Freudian way?
 
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