حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[TM Ambrose]

I'm starting to sound like a character from some existentialist novel.

Connor being totally self-aware guys. I don't think you realize that none of your thoughts are that profound. You're trying to be edgy and you're failing. You don't really have an original idea except that adoption is bad, and even that is kinda not interesting.

 

[Surtur]

Anyone ever listen to the song, "Standing Outside the Fire"? When reading over Connors shit, this song immediately came to mind.

We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk the tables being turned

We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always comes with getting burned

But you've got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire

The song is about taking chances, about going out and doing all of those things in life that makes life worth living. Yeah, you can fail, yeah you get burned, but what is life without the risk? Where is the fun in it? Connor must live a sad, pitiful existence. I know I refuse to stand outside the fire.

 

[Neener]

Connor, you've pretty much lost the last of the people who will be honest with you.
Also I think you're really disgusting for describing a person in real life that will even go near you as annoying and pretty much not wanted.
The worlds not going to fellatio you. Go out and actually fucking be somebody, not expect everyone around you to think you're somebody. Last person who did that just got bitched about on a forum. Jokes not on him. It's on you. At least he made a friend, you did nothing.

 

[Waifu]

basically fucking every shitty post everyone has had to dredge through since the beginning of 'uhh r-resume'

 

[EI 903]

Connor needs a new title, methinks.

 

[OR 345]

This was actually what I was thinking. The difference, however, is that instead it ending with everyone saying "congratulations," everyone got pissed of and just said "fuck you."

 

[Arctic]

Does anyone know why he doesn't just leave the forums? Yeah he's not too self-aware, but it's not like with Brad where he thinks he's Jesus and needs to prove us all wrong.

 

[4Macie]

I knew that Connor wouldn't take the advice we gave him in Teamspeak seriously...
All I can say is this:
@Connor , none of us here are going asspat you. We aren't going to say "no hun, don't think that way" whenever you say "i'm useless" because, frankly, you haven't earned our pity. You literally do NOTHING all day. Yeah, you go to class sometimes, but then you do nothing but sit at home and masturbate to belly buttons. All day. That's it. Get the fuck outside. Go find someplace to hang out. Meet some nice people online, and instead of bitching about how useless you are, talk about them. Learn about them. Life isn't all about you. You are only the center of your own world; you are not the center of anyone else's, and the faster you learn that, the better. If you can't love yourself, you can't expect anyone else to love you either.

DO SOMETHING with your life. You obviously are never going to make this book into a best seller. You don't have the motivation. You talked to us in Teamspeak for like three hours that one day and whenever you were asked deep questions about your book, you couldn't think of an answer of why something was a certain way... and you couldn't even be fucked to interact with us about it. You just stressed sighed and sounded like you were super uncomfortable with simple criticisms or critiques. There was not a single negative person in that chat that day except yourself. Everyone was giving you great life lessons and you refused to listen.

Yeah, you have a math class, and I can respect that you just want that class right now because you're either not ready for more or you want to spend all your time on that class because math isn't your strong suit... but if you have the time to go to several threads and post for hours in each one (every day) and then masturbate until you pass out... you have time for more classes.

Life isn't always going to be fun and exciting. A lot of it can be extremely hard and boring. It's not easy. It will never be a cake-walk of what you want/expect. YOU WILL FAIL AT SOME POINT. It's not the end of the world when that happens. You gotta learn how to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. No one is going to be able to make your life better for you. YOU need to do that. And no one here is going to baby you until you find your way.

 

[Arctic]

Basically, you're some sort of bizzaro world Gregor Samsa.

The only difference is that Gregor was turned into a cockroach for no reason at all, whereas Connor chooses to be one every moment of his life.

 

[Uzumaki]

Does anyone know why he doesn't just leave the forums? Yeah he's not too self-aware, but it's not like with Brad where he thinks he's Jesus and needs to prove us all wrong.

We give him attention. The kind that he basically can't get at a board that isn't literally dedicated to obsessing over people who are broken on the internet.

 

[lolwut]

We give him attention. The kind that he basically can't get at a board that isn't literally dedicated to obsessing over people who are broken on the internet.

It sounds like the only solution is a banhammer, but this is kinda fun still. Well...in the same way that wanking is fun. You can enjoy the ride, but when it's over you realize you're only fucking yourself.

 

[Randall Fragg]

It sounds like the only solution is a banhammer, but this is kinda fun still. Well...in the same way that wanking is fun. You can enjoy the ride, but when it's over you realize you're only fucking yourself.

Nah, it's fun to watch Connor flip his shit. Let's not ban him yet.

 

[Xarpho]

I miss the sporking of Redesigning Eva (The Knife, I think?) and the goofy rewrite with things like THE BIG GAME replacing all mentions of "Prometheus" and "Catharsis" and Karl Kroger (or whatever his name was) switching his two eyepatches.

 

[The Knife]

I miss the sporking of Redesigning Eva (The Knife, I think?) and the goofy rewrite with things like THE BIG GAME replacing all mentions of "Prometheus" and "Catharsis" and Karl Kroger (or whatever his name was) switching his two eyepatches.

Insider knowledge says that the Redesigning Eva parody is still in progress.

I'm on chapter four of the line-by-line analysis, but three times already, something untoward has happened that's caused most of my progress to be lost. I don't even know how it's happening, since for work reasons I have a really complex, paranoid document-saving system. It should have saved my back-up drafts to two different places and a Dropbox every five minutes, but it didn't. Two other documents I was working on at the time got saved, but not the RE file.

At this point I have to concede that my computer so thoroughly rejects this chapter that it keeps vomiting it back up.

 

[The Knife's Husbando]

Insider knowledge says that the Redesigning Eva parody is still in progress.

I'm on chapter four of the line-by-line analysis, but three times already, something untoward has happened that's caused most of my progress to be lost. I don't even know how it's happening, since for work reasons I have a really complex, paranoid document-saving system. It should have saved my back-up drafts to two different places and a Dropbox every five minutes, but it didn't. Two other documents I was working on at the time got saved, but not the RE file.

At this point I have to concede that my computer so thoroughly rejects this chapter that it keeps vomiting it back up.

You PC has started a mutiny against you. Next thing you know it will have rallied the other electronics & you'll be walking a plank over a scrap-shredder, with your Kindle prodding you in the back with a soldering iron.

 

[Silver]

Where did "fucky you" originate?

 

[The Knife]

Where did "fucky you" originate?

Connor said it in chat once, possibly to Null, possibly in reference to a crack about Molly Ringwald.

 

[extreme_misfortune]

Personally, I always wondered why Eva came to regret becoming a perfect superwomen when Connor never mentioned a downside. But then I quickly realized Connor wrote that, and his idea of hell is not being a disabled potato so he can beg people to feel sorry for him.

 

[Dilbertmann]

Tis' my only post on this here thread:

Connor, if you read this, I think you're annoying and bothersome, just like everyone else on here. You think you're all high and mighty, top dog, king of the crop, when you are just...bungling. Lazy. Selfish. Ignorant. And a attention whore.

Apparently, anything you write you instantly think it's going to be the shit, but then when it's critiqued you go you freak out. Here's the thing: criticism is important in writing. I'm doing the same thing, creating something that will eventually become big. Unlike me, where at least I'm trying, you just fap to Molly Ringwald and half-ass your writing for asspats and praise. Writing is a lot more than that, man. I have joined a forum for writing critiques, but given your rudeness and antics I doubt they'll sympathize you at the most.

So yeah. You got a very long way to go - if you were to redeem yourself, then thank god! But given your extremely large ego, I doubt it.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

God damn. Kid just lost the plot last night. Good on y'all for calling him on his bullshit.