حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Arkangel]

I call bullshit.

You don't think you can land a job or you don't want to land a job?

Also, @Connor, @Holden is online now. I know you said you wanted to talk to him.

 

[Locksnap]

I call bullshit.

What, you don't believe they did it, or you don't think you could? If its the former thats incredibly rude of you, but par for the course. If its the latter, what exactly makes you so uniquely incapable that you can't do these things?

 

[TM Ambrose]

OH MY GOD CONNOR. STOP BITCHING ABOUT YOUR LIFE. WE GET IT YOU'RE AUTISTIC. You think nobody else on this forum is? That's no excuse for you not succeeding. To succeed you have to actually fucking do something.


Edit: If you don't want to be criticized don't fucking come on this forum where that's all we fucking do. Man up, take some fucking responsibility, get a job or at least take more classes in school, and stop feeling fucking sorry for yourself. Fuck. You know I actually wanted to help you because I thought you at least had something you were doing now? Even if I make fun of you I do want you to have some success, but then all you do is bitch. You don't realize that everyone here makes fun of everyone else. The difference though is we're self-aware enough not to make a big deal out of it.

 

[Shiala]

I call bullshit.

You know for every post here, that's another 5 minutes wasted on your resume.

Here's a skill you can add:
Procrastinator extraordinaire

 

[Handsome Pete]

Nothing. It's the same thing I'll get when I actually do something.

Fuck it man, your defeatism is absolutely suffocating. It clearly goes deeper than you just being a prick. So how about, next time you're in therapy, you ask about that? Actually, no, how about you focus exclusively on that? If you really are paralyzed by fear to the degree you're describing, treating that should be your highest priority. Not your novel or your retarded friend or even your blank resume, and certainly not arguing with a bunch of spergs on some weird forum.

Literally write down the shit people are saying, including this post, and read it to a shrink. You can take out the swear words if you like.

 

[Xarpho]

I've noticed this evening your negative post rating has surpassed positive ones. You wanna make a difference? DO SOMETHING. Don't make passive aggressive excuses, that makes things worse.


Forget it, he won't listen to that bit. I don't think he's changed in those last five years.

 

[Smutley]

I've got an out of town business meeting to attend for the rest of the week (I'll check my privilege on the way out) so screen-caps are going to be on hiatus until Monday. I was actually going to use this time to slow down on posting and dredging up Connor content (of which I now have a LOT)... I was getting sentimental, and soft, especially with what seemed his willingness to work on betterment. But there is no mercy with autists and this recent pity party has cemented that in place.

Here's Part 4 of Wrong Planet. Expect much, much more in the future, from many, many other sites. I'm really glad we've hit the "pity party" part of the Connor cycle, because after it comes Anger and then Leaving Forever (for 1 - 2 weeks).

Whenever Connor follows script it makes me happy, because it proves what everyone in this thread knows about him - that he follows script and cycle and will do so forever. Here he is arguing about religion on an internet forum as a 15 year old against someone called DW_a_mom

Spoiler

Holy shit Null, don't open this it'll trigger you

Spoiler

No shit. I did NOT see this coming.

Spoiler

Today, class, we will learn the german concept of schadenfreude.

Spoiler

Step 1: Announce yourself on any forum you join. You are a popular person and everyone should know who you are by now. Make sure to throw in words like "artsy" and "psychological" because it makes it sound like you're intelligent, like you might read Nietzsche or Kafka or Dostoevsky.

Spoiler

Oh shit, it all makes sense now. I've cracked the code. Connor's hate of adoption is because of the fact he ISN'T adopted! He wishes his parents, who don't understand him, weren't his, and he had a loving and caring autistic mother who would teach him how to live in a strange and alien world.

This would be really sad and touching if he wasn't such an asshole.

Spoiler

...Connor has only seen like 2 episodes of Evangelion. Oh my.

Spoiler

In classic form, Connor fishes for sympathy. The problem is he picked a forum full of mutants who can't feel human emotions.

Spoiler

Watch out edge lord comin' through

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Ahahahahah Connor is such a chronic masturbator his parents probably took the door off his bedroom. If Connor actually went in public he could be Paul Rubens! If Connor huffed Jenkem he could be Tyce!

Spoiler

lol syke they love that he can wallpaper a room using his jizz and wrapping paper.

What the fuck dude? You're a sick shit.

Spoiler

Connor had a girlfriend. I heard she's dating some guy named Coffin now.

Spoiler

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

A week ago:

Starting this month, things are going to be different.

I can't believe I fucking believed him.

 

[Ruin]

I call bullshit.

Even the other spergs on WrongPlanet think you're an idiot.

Let that sink in for a bit.

 

[Sonic Hoo]

A week ago:



I can't believe I fucking believed him.

Connor, have you grown up at all since 2006-2009?

Considerably.

 

[TM Ambrose]

Considerably.

FUCK NO YOU HAVEN'T YOU FUCKING SPASTIC.

For one, I'm substantially more self-aware. I feel I can actually look at myself with a keen eye.

I can't stop laughing.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

I'm embarrassed to be around him. The thing is, I have no fucking choice but to tolerate his presence. Why do I have to go through life dealing with shitty, obnoxious, or stupid people without blowing their fucking heads off?

He's just an annoying exceptional individual.

And how the fuck do I accomplish [making friends]? I always get stabbed in the back when I try to make some.

Maybe this happens because you treat your current friends terribly by calling them retards and talking shit about them behind their backs?

You seriously are acting like a toddler crying over a diaper full of shit. You hate that it stinks, but it's warm and comfortable enough that you don't bother to do anything about it.

 

[BriarHeart]

Okay, Connor, you want us to understand and sympathize? Make us understand this: what's so bad about failure?

You try to accomplish something, and you fail. What happens next? What are the short-term effects? Long-term effects? Walk us through it, and be descriptive and thorough. We obviously don't get it, and we won't unless you explain it.

 

[BatNapalm]

So uh, what did this ex-girlfriend of yours look like?

 

[EI 903]

Photographic proof of Connor's ex-gf.

Spoiler

 

[Shiala]

I bet his ex-gf was a picture of Molly Ringwold. Connor is so grating that even a piece of paper dumped him.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Spoiler

Ask me how I know.

The difference being that you're aware of this & striking to change it, right?

 

[Silver]

Connor, what do you want to accomplish with your life? Give me every goal that you ever wanted to achieve by the time you're, say, fifty. Doesn't matter how stupid they are.

 

[extreme_misfortune]

Hey Connor I was gonna offer advice but now I think I'm just gonna be a weeaboo asshole and quote my favorite anime: "If you're going to hate yourself, you may as well hate yourself so much that you kill yourself". Do you like being given advice by anime? That's how low you've sunk.

 

[Randall Fragg]

I'm starting to sound like a character from some existentialist novel.

Basically, you're some sort of bizzaro world Gregor Samsa.