Okay, since you asked my opinion of your story:
1. If you and this woman really got together and found you were soulmates (do forgive my saying "if," but you did say you said I was lying on purpose when I simply got things wrong and you can't keep some of your own stories consistent, so we might as well have a Mutually Assured Doubt policy), and you never ended up staying in a relationship, that is awful and heartbreaking. You have every right to feel sad that you never got together with somebody you liked so much. I totally agree, that part is tragic.
2. But if the guy she lost her virginity to in the end is literally brain-damaged, how is that his fault? I know people who suffer from traumatic brain injury, including a woman who suffered a vicious beating from her first husband that fractured her skull. Instead of worshipping him, she left him. She did find true love and is happy with her wonderful second husband today, who provides for all her needs, but she also will have epilepsy for the rest of her life because of the brain injury. Note that she has a seizure disorder, not Asshole Disorder. She has been a friend of mine for many years now and is a perfectly nice person. The sad part of your friend losing her virginity to the guy with brain damage isn't the brain damage, it's that he didn't call.
3. So why did you never try to get back together with the girl? You sound like if you couldn't be the first guy to fuck her, then you didn't want her at all. That's honestly kind of gross. If I applied that standard to partners, I would only ever have had one in my life. At least then one of you would have had experience. First times can be terrible anyway. It's once you've figured out what physical feelings give you the most pleasure that you become better at giving it to others.
It sounds like you drifted apart. I'm sorry that happened. That really sucks. But it does happen in relationships, even to people who are otherwise good for her. Maybe she felt that you didn't want her and felt hurt by that. Maybe she just wanted physical pleasure -- women do want that (and guess what, we're allowed to). Since I wasn't there and never met this girl, I can't guess at what the real problem was without knowing more about her. (Not her dox! That's mean and pointless.) But especially at young ages, perfectly good relationships sometimes do fall apart. That is a sad but true fact of life. You can own your pain, you can discuss your pain, but it sounds like it was equally your fault and hers -- like most breakups.
No one is going to hurt you, by the way. Not even people who are mad at you. Not even Macie, who has the most reason to be mad at you because you're copy-pasting a bizarre version of her story all over the goddamn interwebs. No one on these forums is going to hurt you as long as you don't hurt anyone else. Even the guy with the sister in Interpol apparently hasn't managed to have you arrested or even mildly inconvenienced, so what does it matter what he said? The only possible danger you face is as a result of your own actions. Not us.
