Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

[UQ 770]

This is a friend of a friend thing, but there was this East African immigrant kid in one of the classes who clearly hated school and thought the whole thing was stupid. Can't say I blame him. Anyway, apparently in one class he got really fed up with one of the old fat lady teachers and drew a little comic that he passed around. I can't relate the illustrations as I never saw it, but it was described to me as thus:

"Step 1. Sharpen Pencil"
"Step 2. Pop the Bitch"

I hope to hell that story is real because that is easily the funniest thing to ever come out of my school.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

I went to a small Christian Brothers school for 5th, 6th, and 7th grade. This school had a great reputation for academics and to be fair they crammed a shitload of learning into our heads. The actual Christian Brothers were all older men, most in their early 60s, and tough as boiled leather. None of them ever tried to molest us but they could and oh boy they would physically assault you for little or no provocation. Not paying attention in class? Don't be surprised if you get a dictionary winged at your head. Goofing off with the guy sitting next to you? Entirely possible that your desk, with you in it, gets picked up and thrown against a wall. Finding out one of their real last names is Shwonkey and running around yelling "Honky Honky Shwonkey"? Get ready to kneel on a marble floor for an hour or so.

I must say it added a certain joie de vivre to life, never knowing what would set one of these psychos off. Plus we were all a bunch of poorly socialized hyenas and it was wonderfully funny to the rest of us to see some asshole get smacked.

I hear nowadays the whole place has been renovated (it was an old mansion and woefully dilapidated when I was there), the students wear uniforms, they charge outrageous rates, and the actual Christian Brothers have little or nothing to do with it anymore.

Going to a normal high school after those three years was so dull.

 

[The Saltening]

I am universally disliked in my college for not drinking underage, doing drugs, partying, or having rampant sex.
Apparently focusing on school while at school and trying to be successful in my trade is not how you are supposed to act at college.

This has allowed me to just do what I want though. During a break I went to the computer lab, printed off a sign that said "skipping class is for bitches," and taped it to a dudes tool box. This dude skips classes all the time. He threatened to beat the shit out of me and even kill me.

That same dude, a few weeks before i did that, devised a plan where he had someone steal my prints for a part i was making and hide them. A classic example of rules for thee but not for me.

I have had my shit messed with in the machine lab multiple times. But when I so much as tape a sign to a dudes box I get death threats.

I also know a guy who's entire personality is "I have sex with my girlfriend." That is it. That is his only claim to fame. Wow... You have sex. Congrats man. Glad you can do basic human functions.

I almost made my liberal english teacher cry when she said something about the border and I came back with straight facts completely humiliating her. She hated me so much.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

Somebody in another German class thought that World War II was world war motherfucking eleven. The question was was there a world war eleven? Gee whiz, the only world wars I remember are one and two. I was never taught about WWVII, WWVIII, or WWIX. The government is keeping a secret from us. s/

To be fair, there is a solid argument to be made that there have been, like, at least five world wars.

Let's think through it. A world war would have to have theaters on multiple continents and oceans.

Considering that they involved actions on pretty much all of the continents due to the colonies, we may reasonably count as world wars:
- The War of the Spanish Succession
- The War of Austrian Succession
- The Seven Years War
- The American Revolutionary War
- The Napoleonic Wars

So we're up to AT LEAST WW7, and are waiting for WW8.

 

[Sīn the Moon Daddy]

To be fair, there is a solid argument to be made that there have been, like, at least five world wars.

Let's think through it. A world war would have to have theaters on multiple continents and oceans.

Considering that they involved actions on pretty much all of the continents due to the colonies, we may reasonably count as world wars:
- The War of the Spanish Succession
- The War of Austrian Succession
- The Seven Years War
- The American Revolutionary War
- The Napoleonic Wars

So we're up to AT LEAST WW7, and are waiting for WW8.

I agree with the general premise and most of the list except there's no way to consider the American revolution a world war. The event certainly had worldwide ramifications but the fighting was more or less confined to a short list of belligerent nations and tribes.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I agree with the general premise and most of the list except there's no way to consider the American revolution a world war. The event certainly had worldwide ramifications but the fighting was more or less confined to a short list of belligerent nations and tribes.

The Revolution involved Britain fighting Spain, France, and the Netherlands simultaneously, which counts as four great powers engaged total. For the British, they regarded India as their most important theater because it was a more significant source of revenue. You could argue that the wars in the other colonies were more like separate wars concurrent with the Revolution, but that's arguably the same case for the Chinese and Japanese in WW2: separate wars only tied in due to an overlapping of enemies.

What it amounts to is that three Great Powers were all simultaneously in combat with a fourth Great Power, all of them from the same continent, all engaged in operations on at least three (North America, Africa, Asia) other continents.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

I am universally disliked in my college for not drinking underage, doing drugs, partying, or having rampant sex.
Apparently focusing on school while at school and trying to be successful in my trade is not how you are supposed to act at college.

I think this is a universal for a lot of colleges and students. At my college, there were plenty of students -- male and female -- that engaged in more than their share of sex, drugs, and underage drinking whether at parties or not.

Most flunked out, dropped out for various reasons, or barely graduated with the lowest-possible grades needed. Like you though, those that focused on their studies were seen as the people that were seen as doing something wrong with their college experience.

 

[Eddzie]

I remember in 5th grade that there was a decapitated cat head at the fields near my school. Everyone wanted to see but the aids blocked us from looking at the cat head. So at the end of the school day, the first thing every kid literally did was sonic speed all the way to the cat's head. But then it wasn't there, and they immediately knew that the janitor must have taken it away. So they started to mob around the janitor to look at a cat's head. Fortunately or unfortunately before they could maul the janitor, the principal came in and scared all the kids shitless when she came out. What a nice school day.

 

[8777BB5]

In second grade we had this awful substitute for a week due to our teacher coming down with Mono. The only nice thing about her was she had a tendency to fall asleep when we were doing our work but before she would go to sleep she would set an alarm so she would wake up.

On the last day of her reign of terror one of the kids snuck up to the desk and turned off the alarm. Upon seeing that that didn't wake her, one of the popular kids went to the exterior door and opened it. Upon giving the signal he and most of the class walked out the door. The only people to stay behind were me (Because I knew my mom would kill me if I left) and two other students who did not want to get in trouble.

A few hours later the Principal came in because we were not at lunch. She was horrified to see that there were only three kids in the class and even more horrified to see the substitute sleeping. After we told the principal what had happened, the Principal went over to the substitute and spent the next twenty minutes trying everything she could to wake up the substitute. After everything she tried failed the Principal called the front office to schedule the fire drill but even with the fire alarm going off that failed to still wake the substitute up.As such the Principal moved me and the other two students to another classroom while she and the Vice Principals went to look for the other students. The other students would later be found at the Popular Kid's house watching movies and eating pizza. As you can probably guess they were severely punished for this and the substitute was fired form the school.

 

[edibleBulimia]

I remember writing a funny love story/chick flick set up in feudal times with my best friends called “Oh (my) Lord” in sixth/seventh grade, lending it to my history teacher so she could read it, and basically never getting it back. I wonder what she did with it, as she said it was funny but so historically wrong

 

[Gravityqueen4life]

i was a outcast in my school years but i do remember during computer class i (it was early 00 so i must have been 11 or 12) showed a hole class of kids what newgrounds was and the flash game of that skull guy with a chainsaw killing people. when the teacher caught me he freaked the fuck out and told me to shut it down. i also remember giving the site info to a friend and the idiot clicked on one of those hentai ads and his parents (who were deeply catholic ) found out about it and he snitched on my ass.

 

[Scarboroughgirl]

freshman year a girl in my class got put in a locker by a couple older boys she was messing around with and locked in there for around 20 minutes. the boy whose locker it was wasn't in school and no one knew the combination. at one point the principal walked past a group of 10+ people around one locker during passing period sweating like hell. the girl stayed in the locker for part of the next period until someone left class to find the janitor with keys.

 

[The Last Stand]

I remember first grade where I would write love letters to my teacher during lunch or recess. Like I wanted to run off with her, and do chores for her. And she was beautiful.

 

[edibleBulimia]

I remember first grade where I would write love letters to my teacher during lunch or recess. Like I wanted to run off with her, and do chores for her. And she was beautiful.

I would do those to troll my teachers lol

 

[Mega Man]

The super religious kid that was in my class was just arrested for statutory rape and exactly no one was surprised.

 

[PL 001]

My school had our own version of Amberlynn. Our gorl would consume half an entire box of dry cereal on the bus ride to school, then still grab breakfast in the school cafeteria. She'd wander from table to table at lunch asking everyone if they were gonna eat this or that and just chowing down on trays of half finished food. She'd pester teachers for some of their lunch as well. She had no shame or sense of pride at all. Gorl looked like a fatter Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts with a wig slapped on.

She had a crush on one of my friends. Came to class once wearing those thotty stretch pants with "juicy" written in glitter on the ass. Ran out crying when my friend told her that was false advertising.

 

[A Grey Cat]

There was this exceptional kid named Jose he did some some stuff that ranged that could almost be thread worthy of was more infamous and known, he used to run around screaming"hey girls! So and so wants to cut up your panties" and that being pretty much anyone he didn't like, and ate cockroaches he especially liked them if they were females carrying eggs.







On an unrelated but happier note, there was this girl very similar to the porncow amberlyn Reed, like her she was a senior who was hoping an agent in Cali with connections to the industry would audition her and she wanted to get into it the industry because she thought it'd be "empowering" and the industry was "feminist" now because of how sexually liberating it had become.


Call me a snitch but i told her parents and we scheduled an intervention and showed her a bunch of horror stories about people in the industry like Linda Lovelace and Bambi woods (this was back in the 2000s) so she pretty much promised to stop contacting the guy in Cali and try and get into law school or the police academy.


Idk where she is now or if she did...but I just hope she's made something of her life.

 

[Recoil]

I am universally disliked in my college for not drinking underage, doing drugs, partying, or having rampant sex.
Apparently focusing on school while at school and trying to be successful in my trade is not how you are supposed to act at college.

This has allowed me to just do what I want though. During a break I went to the computer lab, printed off a sign that said "skipping class is for bitches," and taped it to a dudes tool box. This dude skips classes all the time. He threatened to beat the shit out of me and even kill me.

That same dude, a few weeks before i did that, devised a plan where he had someone steal my prints for a part i was making and hide them. A classic example of rules for thee but not for me.

I have had my shit messed with in the machine lab multiple times. But when I so much as tape a sign to a dudes box I get death threats.

I also know a guy who's entire personality is "I have sex with my girlfriend." That is it. That is his only claim to fame. Wow... You have sex. Congrats man. Glad you can do basic human functions.

I almost made my liberal english teacher cry when she said something about the border and I came back with straight facts completely humiliating her. She hated me so much.

You have too much hate in your heart. Lighten up before it's too late.

 

[Faket0Fake]

There was a kid in my school who had some hyperactivity disorder where he'd get over stimulated and out of control. He'd do anything people told him to do so kids would make him do gross shit for laughs like eat a pencil or drink some disgusting thing like water pots in art class. He'd also have episodes where he got overstimulated and would be throwing chairs and shit. One time, some kids were using the computer lab and set up all the computers to have porn as their homepage so when my class used them and opened them every computer had a porn website on it. This seriously overstimulated the crazy kid and he began bopping his head up and down to the gif on screen and then started running around the computer lab being chased by the teacher. Funniest shit ever.

A few years after I left school that same I.T teacher was arrested. The story I got was that while his laptop was hooked up to a projector he accidentally opened a folder of CP and then pushed a kid after he tried to run out the room to tell somebody and started having some sort of breakdown calling all the girls sluts. He was later caught with secret photos and videos of students he'd taken after his home was raided.

 

[AnOminous]

I am universally disliked in my college for not drinking underage, doing drugs, partying, or having rampant sex.
Apparently focusing on school while at school and trying to be successful in my trade is not how you are supposed to act at college.

This has allowed me to just do what I want though. During a break I went to the computer lab, printed off a sign that said "skipping class is for bitches," and taped it to a dudes tool box. This dude skips classes all the time. He threatened to beat the shit out of me and even kill me.

That same dude, a few weeks before i did that, devised a plan where he had someone steal my prints for a part i was making and hide them. A classic example of rules for thee but not for me.

I have had my shit messed with in the machine lab multiple times. But when I so much as tape a sign to a dudes box I get death threats.

I also know a guy who's entire personality is "I have sex with my girlfriend." That is it. That is his only claim to fame. Wow... You have sex. Congrats man. Glad you can do basic human functions.

I almost made my liberal english teacher cry when she said something about the border and I came back with straight facts completely humiliating her. She hated me so much.

You sound like a faggot.