Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

[The Saltening]

You have too much hate in your heart. Lighten up before it's too late.

I don't have hate. I just think wasting my life on drugs and alcohol is dumb when I should be focused on becoming financially stable.

 

[Recoil]

I don't have hate. I just think wasting my life on drugs and alcohol is dumb when I should be focused on becoming financially stable.

You're obsessed with walking the beam.
Be more relaxed about things, you don't want to shelter yourself from important experiences for the sake of an ideology.
That's not an exhortation to degeneracy, either.

 

[The Saltening]

You're obsessed with walking the beam.
Be more relaxed about things, you don't want to shelter yourself from important experiences for the sake of an ideology.
That's not an exhortation to degeneracy, either.

what is so important about drinking and drugs? I have only ever seen people destroy their lives with them. I am not spending tens of thousands of dollars for the "college experience." I am spending the money to learn shit. If all I wanted was drinking and drugs I sure don't need to spend 30k to do it. A job at walmart and an ID will get me that.

 

[Recoil]

what is so important about drinking and drugs? I have only ever seen people destroy their lives with them. I am not spending tens of thousands of dollars for the "college experience." I am spending the money to learn shit. If all I wanted was drinking and drugs I sure don't need to spend 30k to do it. A job at walmart and an ID will get me that.

I'm not even telling you to go get high. I'm telling you to chill the fuck out.
It's very obvious you're too uptight and that it's fucking up the rest of your life

 

[The Saltening]

I'm not even telling you to go get high. I'm telling you to chill the fuck out.
It's very obvious you're too uptight and that it's fucking up the rest of your life

the entire reason I'm like this is so that I don't fuck up my life. I don't want a kid or to have false rape accusations so I don't have sex. I don't want to be hung over or do something stupid so I don't drink. I don't want to get marks on my record by doing drugs. I have always said that if you can't deal with the possible consequences of an action, don't commit the action. I am not missing anything by not partaking in college degeneracy. I am setting myself up for a clean and stable life.

 

[Recoil]

the entire reason I'm like this is so that I don't fuck up my life. I don't want a kid or to have false rape accusations so I don't have sex. I don't want to be hung over or do something stupid so I don't drink. I don't want to get marks on my record by doing drugs. I have always said that if you can't deal with the possible consequences of an action, don't commit the action. I am not missing anything by not partaking in college degeneracy. I am setting myself up for a clean and stable life.

you make plans, God laughs. Try to enjoy the ride.

 

[The Saltening]

you make plans, God laughs. Try to enjoy the ride.

I am just trying to survive the ride. Been going through the hardest week of my life.

 

[Recoil]

I am just trying to survive the ride. Been going through the hardest week of my life.

Sorry to hear that m8, you want to talk about it my PMs are open.
Feel better.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

My third grade teacher had us use these assignment-tracking journals that we had to bring home to our parents. My Pa and the teacher would flirt back and forth in the planner. Mom just found it funny.

 

[.Woody]

I was borderline autistic in grade school, probably still am. Nothing I did even came close to this guy. This might be long. This was back when I was a junior. This guy, I'll call him Dave, was this college drop out that was dating a friend of mine and I think his only friends were highschoolers, but whatever. He invites me to a party, and I wasn't very interested but he mentioned alcohol would be involved so, being under age, I was obligated to go. It was pretty late in the evening when I got there and people were already drinking, doing bong hits, normal high school stuff. Dave is showing me around his house, and this Adam's Family reject looking motherfucker shows up, alone. His name, no joke, was Trungy. Trungy was this five foot scrawny goth guy, I had seen him at school but I barely remembered him, he was sort of a loner and talked to himself a lot. Basically the poster child for a school shooter. I'm pretty sure no one invited him (I don't think he had any friends) but we were all pretty drunk so no one cared. The night goes on, and this Trungy guy is slamming bottles of anything remotely alcoholic. Now, this guy looked like he weighed at most 90 pounds, and the way he was drinking I suspect he had never drank before. Everyone started getting pretty uncomfortable with the amount of liquor he was ingesting. Dave tries to stop him at one point, and Trungy curls up in a ball and starts crying. Most of us just tried to ignore it and enjoy ourselves, but Trungy was committed to being fucking strange. At some point he started crawling around on all fours and asking girls if he could lick their toes. He ends up sitting on this recliner Dave had, and started pissing himself. We would have just kicked him out at that point, but Dave was afraid he would get hit by a car or arrested or something, so we resolved to lock him in a closet. The rest of the night was alright, and people started to either find rides or sleep in the house. Myself, Dave, and one other guy decided to make sure Trungy wasn't dead; the closet had been pretty silent for about an hour. I don't remember there being any lights in the closet, and when we opened the door there was a figure hunched over in the corner. It smelled awful. Dave goes over to him to ask if he's alright and this guy's head snaps around like in the fucking exorcist and proceeds to shower Dave in vomit. Dave tells Trungy to get the hell out of his house and convinced the guy to give him his wallet before he left. I left shortly afterwards. I saw Trungy a few more times in school, but people already thought he was weird, so after that he was basically a plague victim. I think he dropped out my senior year, I never really saw him afterwards. Christ, I wrote an essay.

 

[HG 400]

I am universally disliked in my college for not drinking underage, doing drugs, partying, or having rampant sex.
Apparently focusing on school while at school and trying to be successful in my trade is not how you are supposed to act at college.

This has allowed me to just do what I want though. During a break I went to the computer lab, printed off a sign that said "skipping class is for bitches," and taped it to a dudes tool box. This dude skips classes all the time. He threatened to beat the shit out of me and even kill me.

That same dude, a few weeks before i did that, devised a plan where he had someone steal my prints for a part i was making and hide them. A classic example of rules for thee but not for me.

I have had my shit messed with in the machine lab multiple times. But when I so much as tape a sign to a dudes box I get death threats.

I also know a guy who's entire personality is "I have sex with my girlfriend." That is it. That is his only claim to fame. Wow... You have sex. Congrats man. Glad you can do basic human functions.

I almost made my liberal english teacher cry when she said something about the border and I came back with straight facts completely humiliating her. She hated me so much.

You're such a faggot lmao.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

Unpopular opinion apparently, but I always felt like the party kids were pretty lame and embarassing compared to the really straight laced kids who cared about school. A Venn diagram between the people getting trashed routinely and the people genuinely amazed that homework is a requirement is a complete circle.
I'm biased because I worked in the tutoring center and did student govenment shit so I was surrounded by people who put a lot of effort into school and went above and beyond what others did.

But on the subject of caring about school, let me get back on the thread topic-
My school had a HUGE cheating scandal a few years back. Over 70 students got caught cheating on a U.S History midterm from a teacher that you literally should not struggle with unless you also struggle with things like not shitting yourself. The teacher was a fucking awesome dude, great teacher, he just made a huge mistake that allowed a multi year cheating racket to continue. Basically he never changed up his midterms, it was the same list of questions year after year. Almost everyone knew this so a tradition started, specifically among our baseball team, that you'd keep your old scantrons and share it with his current students. If you very lightly marked each bubble to fill in before the test, then during the test you could just finish bubbling and turn it in. Or if you weren't an absolute mongoloid you could study and take the test and get just as good of a grade. My teacher finally caught on one year and brought the hammer down. I said 70 students because that's how many got caught that single semester. The actual number of cheaters over the years has got to be in the hundreds. He was devastated and almost quit, but instead stuck around and (allegedly) made the class harder. I can't stress enough how easy the class was and how embarrassing it is that people even thought cheating is necessary!

 

[Gordon Cole]

I'd say it's all about balance. You can party while also still keeping schoolwork/classes in mind. To quote Raekwon: "You can do your drugs and still be a smart muthafucka."

 

[PL 001]

Had a sub come in one day who looked almost exactly like Ms. Chokesondick from South Park. Being easily amused teens, there was a lot of snickering and jokes about how homeroom smelled like the ocean suddenly. Sub was inspecting her Tupperware in her lunch bag before we all left, and made the comment "oh no, my tuna leaked." right as a group of us were laughing to ourselves at another re.tarded smelly vagina joke.

We all lost our shit and started cracking up, while the sub was dumbfounded at what the group of guys found so damn funny. "My tuna leaked" became a in-joke for a long time after that.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

This is not about a kid in my class or even my school, it's about a friends little brother's best friend and classmate, Charlie. At the time Charlie was 10 and we were 14, so we were way too old to care about what children were doing or even who they were. But there was one thing about Charlie that couldn't go unnoticed. He was the dumbest kid alive in a special way. I don't remember much of what went on back then and it's not unusual for a 10 year old to be dumb and many grow out of it, Charlie did not grow out of it, he just grew.

Story about the mystery mechanics of his mind:

Jump forward 9-10 years, I haven't seen/heard from my buddy's brother and Charlie for several years, at this point they're ~19-20 and we're 23-24. There's a big festival happening in the city where my buddy lives in a conveniently placed apartment so I'm crashing at his place. His brother and Charlie decides to do the same so they buy plane tickets and show up one afternoon. We go to the festival, get drunk, head back and hash out the sleeping arrangements.
My buddy sleeps in his bed.
His brother sleeps on a folding bed.
I sleep on the couch.
Charlie insists that we shouldn't trouble ourselves and he can just sleep curled up on the floor.
'No, we just take the couch cushions and wrap them in a sheet and you take this blanke..."
No, no, you don't have to do that, I'll find my own place. - then he wandered off into the hallway. When checking up on him he had found a place to sleep, it was in my suitcase that I had left open on the floor, curled up on top of my clothes, like a large dog on a small pillow.

Next day, cooking food. When the food was done everyone grabbed a plate, picked the things they wanted out of the pots and pans and went to sit down at the table. It was a small table in a small kitchen so it sits three people and even that is uncomfortable. Being the fourth person Charlie never said anything just sat down and ate on the floor while looking up at the table. That didn't feel right so we moved to the living room table that comfortably fits five people, we sat down on the couch and in one of the chairs, leaving a chair and a spot on the couch open and Charlie sits down on the floor again because that's where he sat in the kitchen. Sitting on the floor to eat was not something he had done before but with him these things just happen as part of his spontaneous broke-brain problem solving.

He wasn't a closeted furry trying to dog things, it was more like he was a dog trying to be human, a reverse-furry? On the outside he was a normal good looking dude that worked out and groomed himself. He was also very happy, friendly, selfless, loyal and helpful, those are strong dog qualities and like any other happy dog no one disliked him or anything, though many asked if he was 'special'. No, he's just like that, no one knows why.

Oh, he's also one of those people that opens their mouth a little bit when they have to think about something.

 

[Shibaru]

every school year there's always at least one of each in the lots:
-BMW Driver
-Guy who just got his license and blew his money on a 240sx and a few rice mods
-truck bro
-murica ride or die driver
and finally
-hand me downer

 

[Niggernerd]

I remember triggering the anime fan club just by saying "naruto is trash and you all smell like wet food and disappointment." they were all just reee'ing and saying I wouldn't understand complex story telling and yelling insults you'd expect from middle schoolers.
Funny to say, they got disbanded that day by the principal because they were too noisy and causing problems for other nearby clubs.
Halloween these queers cosplayed AoT characters and I couldn't help but call them trash for Role playing irl which triggered them back to the day I practically ruined their club and the screeching began and some got sent to OCS (on campus suspension) (funny enough I had to go too for another reason which involved telling some kid the truth that he's a beta faggot and none of the girls he was always trying to impress gave a shit and that he will always be that gay friend regardless of being straight while having to listen to them talk about football chad dicking them down)
And when I entered the class the weebs were in tears since they never been to OCS and they gave me stink eye the whole time LMAO.

There was another time where we had a Smash Melee club and I decided to hop in because it was made by some "acquaintances" of mine who were just elitist. I always feigned ignorance to the game and other fighting games/pokemon because i just kept my interest to myself.
They thought they could own me or whatever and said I can only join if I challenge all of them (5 total) and put money down. I won $100 that day (never knew I used to go to the game tournaments with my older cousin and friends at the back side of some obscure pc store and got 2nd place twice)
This was before they played me at MvC2 for money as well which I used to play everyday for 4-5 years. All I gotta say is..IDIOTS but I'm grateful for the weed money anyways.

It's funny hiding your powerlevels because you can turn them into a quick scheme.

 

[TaimuRadiu]

The girls at my high school did a thing involving putting used tampons in the sinks. Oh, and the bathroom doors had to be open to make sure kids couldn't smoke.

 

[millais]

Unpopular opinion apparently, but I always felt like the party kids were pretty lame and embarassing compared to the really straight laced kids who cared about school. A Venn diagram between the people getting trashed routinely and the people genuinely amazed that homework is a requirement is a complete circle.
I'm biased because I worked in the tutoring center and did student govenment shit so I was surrounded by people who put a lot of effort into school and went above and beyond what others did.

But on the subject of caring about school, let me get back on the thread topic-
My school had a HUGE cheating scandal a few years back. Over 70 students got caught cheating on a U.S History midterm from a teacher that you literally should not struggle with unless you also struggle with things like not shitting yourself. The teacher was a fucking awesome dude, great teacher, he just made a huge mistake that allowed a multi year cheating racket to continue. Basically he never changed up his midterms, it was the same list of questions year after year. Almost everyone knew this so a tradition started, specifically among our baseball team, that you'd keep your old scantrons and share it with his current students. If you very lightly marked each bubble to fill in before the test, then during the test you could just finish bubbling and turn it in. Or if you weren't an absolute mongoloid you could study and take the test and get just as good of a grade. My teacher finally caught on one year and brought the hammer down. I said 70 students because that's how many got caught that single semester. The actual number of cheaters over the years has got to be in the hundreds. He was devastated and almost quit, but instead stuck around and (allegedly) made the class harder. I can't stress enough how easy the class was and how embarrassing it is that people even thought cheating is necessary!

At my university, all the fraternities/sororities would have their own in-house archive of old exams and answer keys saved up from many years of student members. I thought it was rather unfair advantage, given that quite a number of the lazier professors were accustomed to reusing old exam questions or even just having the same 2-3 versions of an exam that they would alternate between from semester to semester.

In high school, I remember that many of the more popular hard-science courses (physics, biology, chemistry, calculus, etc) with multiple daily class periods to accommodate the heavy student demand had big cheating problems. During test/exam days, the students in the first period class of calculus, for example, would memorize as many of the harder questions/solutions as possible to give to their friends who were in the second and third period classes of calculus. So by the third period class, all the students in the loop would have a very strong idea of exactly what to expect on the test, having heard beforehand from their friends in the previous classes.

No one ever snitched, even though it was infuriatingly unfair when you were in the first period class and you were going into all these exams totally blind, while the people in the later periods were going in only half-blind. Even in the classes that were graded on a curve, where you'd naturally want to get yourself the best possible grade by fucking over the other students by not giving them a test-score boost, there would be enough first-period kids that would leak the questions/answers to their friends in later period presumably because those first period "leakers" were so confident in their test score that they didn't mind bumping up the overall average.

But occasionally, there would be an exceptionally difficult test or exam that fucked all the first-period students so badly that in the moments after turning in the test, everyone in the first period -- even the frequent test leakers-- would mutually agree not to give out any questions/solutions so that everyone in the later periods would be equally fucked.

Eventually the more perceptive teachers caught on to this cheating problem when they finally realized the average test scores of the later periods were markedly better than the first period, but the response to the cheating was not uniformly adequate. Some of the better teachers did the right thing and made completely different tests for their different class periods, some only made partially different tests that allowed a degree of test leaking, and some just decided to grade on a curve within the different class periods while retaining the same test for all periods.

Looking back, I wish I or other students would have snitched on those cheaters. We all knew who was leaking questions/solutions and to which of their friends within hours of walking out of any given test, and there was undoubtedly some nasty punitive zero tolerance administrative policy on the books for anyone cheating in that fashion, but I guess the peer pressure was too strong. It was such a pervasive practice that you wouldn't have had many friends left if you had exposed the ringleaders and ratted out all who benefited from the leaks.

Anecdote unrelated to cheating, I remember in primary school, there used to be a number of brass dedication plaques affixed to big stones scattered around the school grounds, obviously to honor whichever people who had donated money to plant this tree or build that drinking fountain. But the only text engraved on those plaques were these long lists of names, so for some reason all the students thought they were markers for mass graves buried on those spots and so we shied away from those areas. I guess we saw too many things on TV about Bosnian Serb war crimes back then or something, because mass graves was the first and only explanation that came to our minds for those plaques.

 

[NyQuilninja]

In middle school we had a kid who would masturbate in class
I walked in on his counseling appointment one day and he was playing with Barbies and acting out a domestic abuse scenario that his grandparents were involved in. Good times I never stop teasing him for a year