DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Kermit the Frog]

I’ve been saying it for a while now, and I don’t mean it as a joke. I’m serious when I say Phil is perpetually 14 years old.

Kat’s pregnant. I don’t care what Phil has said about how’s she’s not. His word means shit. The last half of 2017, he kept saying the “behind-the-scenes” stuff that was causing him stress was not tax related. When he finally revealed it, it was taxes. They were engaged in December and August is 9 months later. People noted that Kat looked bigger in her wedding photos. Phil has mentioned doctors visits in the past few months. Phil has been very stressed out for the last several months. He is going to have yet another mouth to feed. He’s spinning this as a “very pahsitive” announcement because as I said in an earlier post, Phil lives in a perpetual state of denial that requires constant reinforcement. Everything in the last several months, especially the “surprise” wedding, points to Kat is heavy with pig-roach-horse, and she’s about to pop. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that she has had the kid while he was on stream playing video games. Phil would miss the birth of his child so he could sit his flabby ass on that loveseat having quarters thrown at him.

Over the last month, I've been increasingly leaning towards Kat being pregnant. The only argument against this being Phil hasn't been exploiting the pregnancy for money, but his very long track record of making people think his "behind the scenes" problems are something he explicitly says they aren't when they turn out to be just that ("I'm not getting married when I go to CT! I can't afford it!") and his willingness to make up distraction stories in the meantime ("My parents are dying! That's why I'm going to CT!") proves he knows how to play the long game when it comes to begging. He's been talking a lot recently about his dumb condo and his efforts to get rid of it, which is the distraction story for the real behind the scenes issue, Kat's pregnancy, which he has explicitly and vehemently denied numerous times. He'll drop the big news, say he had to keep it a secret to "protect" Kat and his unborn child, then watch the paypigs rain tens of thousands of dollars on him.

 

[gh0stzero]

The other theory is that he got a cat.

I hope he doesn't actually have a cat, on the internet, people can look the other way when he berates and abuses literal autists for pennies but when it comes to berating and abusing (or neglecting) a cat?

 

[ZehnBoat]

The other theory is that he got a cat.

I hope he doesn't actually have a cat, on the internet, people can look the other way when he berates and abuses literal autists for pennies but when it comes to berating and abusing (or neglecting) a cat?

View attachment 867246

if it is a cat, it's fucked. and even if phil abuses the cat on stream, twitch wont do anything.

 

[gh0stzero]

if it is a cat, it's fucked. and even if phil abuses the cat on stream, twitch wont do anything.

Twitch kicking him off the platform would be the least he'd have to worry about it would be the angry mob and PETA outside his condo that would make him reach for the door axe.

 

[Pargon]

Twitch kicking him off the platform would be the least he'd have to worry about it would be the angry mob and PETA outside his condo that would make him reach for the door axe.

That'd be the peak of his supposed untouchability. Not even 4chan tolerates animal abuse.

 

[PenskeMaterial]

Luckily for this hypothetical cat, Phil lacks the upper body strength to pick him and throw him.

 

[EmperorGoutatine]

 

[Meech]

Complete speculation here, but maybe he's gotten another Youtube network.

 

[GigaOPC]

if it is a cat, it's fucked. and even if phil abuses the cat on stream, twitch wont do anything.

I think if he does get a Cat atleast he will have someone to keep him compny when he's up until 5 am drunk

 

[Shambler]

Katherine is either legitimately out of her mind in marrying a man who's sitting on $100k+ worth of debt

or

Phil hasn't been completely ahnest with Katherine about how much financial trouble he's actually in

Which seems more likely? Better just to assume she's a lunatic and he's lying to her as well?

don't forget
or phil was never in debt the entire time

 

[Comma]

People are unable to cheer, so DSP slides into his ultra-begging mode:

-edit- Did I say ultra-begging mode? My bad, I actually meant ultra-hardcore-begging mode:

"It's an error on Twitch's behalf, nothing went wrong with me (ree) or my channel. Please tip me right now. I need the tips now anyway very badly, right now, this time of year or this time of month actually. So please, if you wanna be supportive, please tip me. Thank you."

 

[gaarashatan]

HINT HINT

View attachment 867191

then whats this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1zvIdk9yL4
literally made this year phil, put it on your prestream

 

[PieceofShet]

"Tevin made... how much?"

 

[andr0id psycho sho(ker]

"Tevin made... how much?"

View attachment 867509

All Tevin needs is to make more than Phil for that reaction. Seems doable lately

 

[LeeSydePanda]

To sum up this whole year into one catch line: "Please tip me."

 

[actually]

Based on today's stream, I'm leaning toward the possibility of a pet, but not a cat. A fish. Phil went on an extended story about how he and Kat went to the pet store and were looking at fish and frogs. He talked about the aquarium and setting up a self-sufficient one because he naturally doesn't want to do any real work to maintain it.

 

[big ups liquid richard]

Yep another slow stream, and he doesn't know what to do about it.

 

[MoonRocker]

Yep another slow stream, and he doesn't know what to do about it.

Incoming deflections:

1. Blaming the game.
2. Blaming the audience.
3. Blaming Twitch for their technical difficulties.
4. Blaming a slow month.
5. Blaming summertime and "kids being outside on my lawn."
6. Blaming a slow release schedules for games in Summer 2019.
7. Blaming trolls for making the stream tahxic.
8. Blaming detractors for flooding the chat with memes.

Blaming everything and everyone but the one constant and true reason as to why it was a slow day: DSP himself.

 

[GigaOPC]

then whats this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1zvIdk9yL4
literally made this year phil, put it on your prestream

Don't forget My Depression or 3 Kings

 

[Comma]

Fun fact: it wasn't even a slow stream. He raised a little over $106 during today's stream: $40 in subs (including one overnight sub), a little over $37 in cheers and $29 in tips.

But hey, we all know by now what he actually meant: people didn't tip him enough. That's all there is to it. Because only the short term is what he cares about when he goes into his begging mode. Which he has been doing for over a week now, mind you: he managed to not beg for tips for literally one week after getting paid thousands of dollars by Twitch.

One. Week.