DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[PieceofShet]

Beyond pathetic.

 

[Surly Muppet]

Beyond pathetic.

Quality weasel word in there. "Can"

Is that "can" as in it's finally permitted because you managed to get thousands of dollars to admit he exists? And now for some reason the detractors won't order the hit on him that they would have before? You and Jasper are finally free from the prison of the self-imposed lie to obfuscate the fact that you don't actually need money for bills? And we're hyping that up?

Or is that "can" as in the door will be open and Jasper could hypothetically pass through but probably won't, which is why we're not making any promises. Even though he is supposed to be a big boon to the stream and the mascot in front of whose paws we will lay the bits to 'pay the bills'? Now he's just always a 'maybe' and I give it half a stream before he tells people not to ask about the fucking cat, when he's there, he's there.

Either way, the sun will rise and the begacy will continue.

 

[Schmeckel]

View attachment 878110

Beyond pathetic.

You know, with how Phil said (paraphrased) "If the horse isn't in the barn, I can leave my office open for cat to come in on shillshtreems..." and later commented how his headphones were noise canceling.... Wouldn't it just be an absolute delight that the horse came back to the stable, wandered to her room and just cut loose an air biscuit with some massive fripples, the kind you get after a taco bell and jack Daniel's night, and Phil has to respond to shtreem chat that they didn't hear anything, that it was the house settling, that it was Jaspers toy, that it was his phone vibrating.... And, as such, the door to the office would never be open again. And jasper couldn't have "interactions" with the viewers. All because the horse launched a colon honk.

 

[We Are The Witches]

It's really not. Phil violates the Twitch Community Guidelines all the time (see pic). Defrauds others with ridiculous fundraisers based on false information and pretenses. Feigns distress daily by saying he's always overdrawn on his bank account, can't pay his taxes or can't afford basic things for his job like games, while going out to restaurants all the time and buying expensive things behind the scenes. Resells Twitch services or features by giving mod status and unbanning people after they give him money. Unfortunately, as stated many times before, he's part of the protected class of streamers, which is why he loves Twitch so much and feels so secure in doing the shady shit he does.
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That's the problem with reporting such things, apart from what you say about the bias for streamers on Twitch, is that you would need very clear evidence for defraud, feigning distress and reselling a Twitch service.

First, is there clear evidence that this fundraiser was a defraud? The goal was ridiculous and total disrespect for the potential donors, but is it defrauding? He lied about having a cat but that was foreign to the event. He promised to reveal an announcement, and people donated for it, so the lie about his cat had no impact on it while the fundraiser took place.

Linked to this, is the question that he's feigning distress because of the lies about his bank account, which would also be included in the false pretenses for the fundraiser. Is there evidence that he doesn't have the money as he claims? As in an actual legitimate document showing it. There is currently none, and if there was, and it showed that he's lying, it would be actual fraud and a lawsuit could be filed against him.
This is just from a quick Google search, but it explains in simple words how would this work, (in general):
https://criminal-law.freeadvice.com/criminal-law/white_collar_crimes/lawsuit_fraud.htm
Regarding him going with Kat to the restaurants, did this happen around the time he claimed he had no money to buy the games, and also, is there evidence that this is on DSP's account instead of Kat's? (If it's on her behalf or his).

And finally, the Twitch service resell, is there evidence that you have to pay in order to be a mod? (As a statement proven to be of DSP, not just a mere observation). To my understanding, in Twitch for messages to be reported they cannot be screencaps, (could be added, but have 0 weight to determine in the end if the report is accurate or not), they need to be registered in the chat-logs/chatMod-logs or PMs, so that a Twitch employee can even begin to research this, (this is what it should happen, not what it may happen). As for the unbanning of people that give him money, that's practically impossible to prove.

 

[JamFlowMan]

This was probably brought up already but the odds are like 90% he bought a grill, right? Everything he said about getting a cat he also said about getting a grill. It kills him he can't brag about all the crap he blows money on so his get around is now talking about things he wants and how great they would be to have but he just can't afford them. Could be wrong you never know with Phil. It will be interesting to see if he brings up other things he "wants" in the future.

 

[PieceofShet]

 

[Dandelion]

I love how Phil was mocking the idea of creating a Mixer account "just in case" Twitch goes south, as if something like that cannot happen.

I guess he forgot that he's the same guy who shit on not only Youtube for not foreseeing the Adpocalypse, but also the airline industry pre-9/11 for not foreseeing the biggest attack on the United States of our generation.

 

[Salubrious]

This was probably brought up already but the odds are like 90% he bought a grill, right? Everything he said about getting a cat he also said about getting a grill. It kills him he can't brag about all the crap he blows money on so his get around is now talking about things he wants and how great they would be to have but he just can't afford them. Could be wrong you never know with Phil. It will be interesting to see if he brings up other things he "wants" in the future.

I would say that he probably got a grill for $100-$200 at Home Depot and it wouldn't be the worst investment in the world, but I also know that DSP doesn't buy cheap shit so he probably bought either bought a grill that was like $500-$600 or refuse to buy a grill until he could. That's one of the reasons he has so much fucking credit card debt.

 

[Immortal Technique]

I love how Phil was mocking the idea of creating a Mixer account "just in case" Twitch goes south, as if something like that cannot happen.

I guess he forgot that he's the same guy who shit on not only Youtube for not foreseeing the Adpocalypse, but also the airline industry pre-9/11 for not foreseeing the biggest attack on the United States of our generation.

Foresight needs some type of brain synapses to be firing. It might take awhile, but I wouldn't be surprised if Twitch gets nailed to the wall for being a softcore porn site for underage kids through the media.

 

[Fuckyoudad]

I would say that he probably got a grill for $100-$200 at Home Depot and it wouldn't be the worst investment in the world, but I also know that DSP doesn't buy cheap shit so he probably bought either bought a grill that was like $500-$600 or refuse to buy a grill until he could. That's one of the reasons he has so much fucking credit card debt.

He has very little in the way of imagination and seems to be entirely devoid of any real creative impulse when it's not tied directly to lying to the viewers and himself. This is a guy who:

---

Makes himself in every single videogame when the opportunity presents itself because he can't imagine any other entity cooler or more interesting than himself.

Can't come up with any design ideas even doodled on paper for his own merchandise.

Wishes fans would create new DSP-themed music remixes for him because he can't imagine a world where he could develop such a skill on his own.

Can't invent any remotely entertaining or dramatic excuses for money woes to the point where absolutely every Modern Era Expense (MEE! REE!) get branded by default as bills bills bills.

Can't think to rename his fucking cat something better than Jasper when he got it home

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Surface scratched. You get the idea. When you consider this I'd say you're bang on the mark that he almost certainly has a grill. He's incapable of pulling anything out of the air to talk about that hasn't already been orbiting within the protected airspace of the goutsphere. Something that either the fans have fed him and made a topic/meme out of or if it's something he himself has brung up.. it either has to be about something he wants ($$$), something he "needs" ($$$) or something that he doesn't want to do and nobody can make him (except the wife and $$$) because he's his own boss, dood!

These days when he says I wish I had something it's 80/20 he already has it. The only time he doesn't have it is when he's relating it directly to the quality of the schtreems and specifically pegs a game or peripheral within Real Bizness Talk segments so some dumb fucker can go ahead buy it for him online.

 

[harbinger]

I would say that he probably got a grill for $100-$200 at Home Depot and it wouldn't be the worst investment in the world, but I also know that DSP doesn't buy cheap shit so he probably bought either bought a grill that was like $500-$600 or refuse to buy a grill until he could. That's one of the reasons he has so much fucking credit card debt.

Being Phil, he has probably had a grill for nearly a year now.

Maybe this reveal could be next month’s marathon tips goal.

 

[Drip Feed]

This cat thing is smart, like REALLY smart, some people thought he would just say he was sick and needed money, nope, everyone seems to love cats, so all he needs to do is say the cat is sick and needs X amount of money, cat fund raiser, he easily has another good 7 years worth of begging to do now, thats if the cat makes it that long.

 

[Dragoonism]

This cat thing is smart, like REALLY smart, some people thought he would just say he was sick and needed money, nope, everyone seems to love cats, so all he needs to do is say the cat is sick and needs X amount of money, cat fund raiser, he easily has another good 7 years worth of begging to do now, thats if the cat makes it that long.

"Listen guys, i'm really in need of money right now, i have 0 money and everything i get goes to my bills, but that means that poor Jasper won't get any food, so i really need you guys to donate another $1000 so i can go out and buy some cat food on my day of next week."

Good thing it wasn't a female and he would begging for money for all the kittens he would end up having.

 

[OneDaySon]

This cat thing is smart, like REALLY smart, some people thought he would just say he was sick and needed money, nope, everyone seems to love cats, so all he needs to do is say the cat is sick and needs X amount of money, cat fund raiser, he easily has another good 7 years worth of begging to do now, thats if the cat makes it that long.

I mean its no coincidence that this is happening around the time he's aware the tax excuse is getting exhausting.

 

[AckedyACK]

I ventured onto the KOH forum for the first time ever to see if there was any backlash and his fans seem to be terrified of even merely doubting him. They ask him questions in a way that resembles an abused spouse. It's very weird.

 

[We Are The Witches]

This cat thing is smart, like REALLY smart, some people thought he would just say he was sick and needed money, nope, everyone seems to love cats, so all he needs to do is say the cat is sick and needs X amount of money, cat fund raiser, he easily has another good 7 years worth of begging to do now, thats if the cat makes it that long.

I disagree, this is the stupidest decision he's made in recent months by far, not to mention, exploiting a couple of whales by losing everyone around you is far from smart, even from a business perspective and specially while relying on others generosity.

By looking at his chat during the cat reveal stream, you can tell he's really starting to bleed, all the trust some of his fans had is gone now. I think I even saw one of the (minor) contributors getting really mad about the situation.

He seems convinced that people mainly or solely donate because they want to help him, without getting rewarded by something that at least makes sense, which is why if he's foolish enough to do a fundraiser for the cat's health problems, he will lose everyone that at least cares enough to not be treated like garbage.

It will have consequences.

 

[Fuckyoudad]

This cat thing is smart, like REALLY smart, some people thought he would just say he was sick and needed money, nope, everyone seems to love cats, so all he needs to do is say the cat is sick and needs X amount of money, cat fund raiser, he easily has another good 7 years worth of begging to do now, thats if the cat makes it that long.

Smart my ass. He's already spun a web of lies about this and trapped himself right in the middle of it. Case and point: His fallback plan when the cat gets sick is to rely on his one foot in the grave parental unit to pay the vet bills. How does that work? This cat could go 15 years and Phil's parents are reportedly at death's door and he went to see them "probably for the last time".

Even if the story of their failing health is bullshit (it is his cancer stick sucking mother probably benches more than he does these days) he's already sewn that into the fabric to be reposted the first time he tries to claim "Guise yer not gonna believe it but Jasper fell down the stairs when he was hanging our wedding photo portrait! I woulda done it myself but ya know with my back.. anyways it means I need another $3k!". For the immediate future he's played himself out of one con or the other.. well done Phil you fucking goof. Either they're alive and kicking and able to keep bailing him out (so why would you continue to do so then, exceptional chat?) or they're not going to make it and he's gonna need even more assistance on top. He's one brazen fucker I'll give him that.

In truth I reckon his recent "stress" and "Katherine visiting the doctors" may well have been vet visits. Chances are he's already had to begrudingly splash the cash on keeping Li'l Jay healthy or face the scorn of his real adult wife.

Now we can at least look back on the past year and reframe it with the additional hidden kitty in mind.

 

[JamFlowMan]

This cat thing is smart, like REALLY smart, some people thought he would just say he was sick and needed money, nope, everyone seems to love cats, so all he needs to do is say the cat is sick and needs X amount of money, cat fund raiser, he easily has another good 7 years worth of begging to do now, thats if the cat makes it that long.

It only took Phil a decade to realize people on the internet like cats.

 

[ReentryPhantom]

If he asks his fans to donate an XBOX One and it happens, there is nothing this man can't get from them.

 

[Wing Zero]

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If he asks his fans to donate an XBOX One and it happens, there is nothing this man can't get from them.

It's Phil - you KNOW he's gonna try and squeeze an XBOX One X out of them.