Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

Matt Martin: "Hey, what if we cancel Galaxy of Adventures (probably the only remotely decent thing we've produced in 5 years) and replace it with a show that has a goofy mute Minions format where everyone is BB-8 and they all have their own porg sidekicks?! This will surely attract the next generation of fans and the Marvel kids!"
Kennedy:
"BRILLIANT!"
I can't process this. I can't.
What kind of fresh hell is this?
I bet some marketing shithead got a few polls into his hand that BB-8 is still kinda sorta the most popular amongst the ST cast and he (or she) decided to simply make everything like BB-8 to boost popularity. Fuck whether it makes sense or not. Someone has really big confidence in BB-8s design and Disney, after failing with the Porgs, now tries to make that "Head on a rotating body" the new "Minion".
"Why do audiences like that little robot? Oh, it must be the design!" and off they go making a completely idiotic spin-off with nothing more than that silly notion as the foundation.

This is... I don't even know...
The word "dumbfounded" was made for this exact moment.
Kinda reminds me of that one time when DC started putting Gorillas into every comic, since they thought that was a big selling point of one of their more popular comic books, so they forced their writers to come up with completely idiotic storylines, as long as they'd contain a gorilla. It's like an alien that literally can't relate to human beings was in charge of this whole thing.

I mean, it shouldn't be that hard for the cast. Just say the stupid lines for their cardboard characters, they don't even need to act. Ridley established that quite firmly with her patented fishface technique, all they need to do is copy that and all become the face of the franchise.
It is with quite some horror that I realize that the sequels might demand higher ranges of acting and consistency of performance off their random background extras than of their main actress...
 
I can't process this. I can't.
What kind of fresh hell is this?
I bet some marketing shithead got a few polls into his hand that BB-8 is still kinda sorta the most popular amongst the ST cast and he (or she) decided to simply make everything like BB-8 to boost popularity. Fuck whether it makes sense or not. Someone has really big confidence in BB-8s design and Disney, after failing with the Porgs, now tries to make that "Head on a rotating body" the new "Minion".
"Why do audiences like that little robot? Oh, it must be the design!" and off they go making a completely idiotic spin-off with nothing more than that silly notion as the foundation.

This is... I don't even know...
The word "dumbfounded" was made for this exact moment.
Kinda reminds me of that one time when DC started putting Gorillas into every comic, since they thought that was a big selling point of one of their more popular comic books, so they forced their writers to come up with completely idiotic storylines, as long as they'd contain a gorilla. It's like an alien that literally can't relate to human beings was in charge of this whole thing.


It is with quite some horror that I realize that the sequels might demand higher ranges of acting and consistency of performance off their random background extras than of their main actress...
You might be thunking too hard. I give it one reason: it's cheap.
 
I bet some marketing shithead got a few polls into his hand that BB-8 is still kinda sorta the most popular amongst the ST cast and he (or she) decided to simply make everything like BB-8 to boost popularity.
Maybe whomever came up with the idea is a diversity hire that identifies as a Star Wars Droid.

It's amazing that Disney seems to regress with its SW animation style. Filoni's Clone Wars actually had decent 3D CGI animation, but I imagine it was a bit costly. Rebels felt like a huge step backwards even if the purpose was to make the show feel like a series of McQuarrie drawings gone live. Worse, Resistance's animation style seems to have further regressed and looks more like something one might expect from a show aimed at preschool-aged children.

Also, animation style isn't the only deterioration we see with SW. First, we had Forces of Destiny which turned into "Star Wars for SJWs" where Disney-era female characters were propped up by shitting on males and Lucas-era characters. Next, Disney gave us the now-scrapped animated shorts that were basically re-imagined animations of previous/movie scenes. Now, we're going to get an animated series where everyone looks like mutant BB-8 droids.

Why, Godbear, why? Are people actually demanding this stuff? Or is this merely the latest half-baked brainstorm Disney has to m1lk the franchise for all the money it can since the films fell way short in both expectations and revenues? :heart-empty:
[E: Grammar]
 
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I spoke about this a few pages back, where some sort of film festival or awards (can't remember which) wanted to showcase the unedited version of the OT but they couldn't seek out permission from FOX or Disney, instead they had to go directly to Lucas for permission, and he obliged surprisingly, showing that he still has control over the originals in some way. There was also something a few days ago on some channel regarding some clips of the unedited OT being shown. I'm trying to look it up and as soon as I find it I'll post a link.

Also, in case none of you ever heard of it, there's a traveling museum originally started with help from Old Lucasfilm ages ago that serves as an interactive SW exhibition known as Star Wars Identities, and despite so many years passing by, they still haven't included Disney shit in their exhibition. Only thing they included are two things from TFA, which are Kylo Ren's lightsaber and BB-8 which get no special recognition or entries apparently. BB-8 is barely even seen in promotional videos featuring the droids.

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After finishing their most recent tour in Australia, they'll be in Japan starting today until January 13, 2020.
GODDAMNIT Why does the good shit always have to happen in Tokyo
 
So the first novel that's supposed to serve as tie-in for the GE park finally got released (which should've been the case months ago instead of waiting after to introduce "fans" to the lore of your shitty park), and it seems its not doing too hot. Only "hype" or attention it seem to be getting is due in part to mega Disney shill Star Wars Explained and his fanbase. The book is titled Crash of Fate and reviews seem to be mixed. I talked about this book before months ago around April I think and that it was about some kid who meets an old female friend of his who has become an experienced adventurer and smuggler and she has to save his ass. Characters are Izzy and Jules and the book is like the second Thrawn novel in that it serves a tour guide and advertisement for the park with a very generic love story that ends with Jules falling in love with the heroic and "badass" Izzy. The book also reveals the name of the company that makes Coca-Cola and that the Black Spire (the small black rock in the park that you'd never notice (next to the statue)) is basically their god (they don't even put some kind of protective thing around it or a small shrine or something?) with the planet's common saying being “May the spire keep you.” As part of a tie-in with the book or some kind of promotional event, the park's Datapad (the app for your mobile phone if you want to know what the fuck anything is in the park) has been updated with new info, including info on Coca-Cola's origins and the names of all the droids in the park...

For starters (boy this is gonna give me a headache) Coca-Cola is produced on the planet Mygeeto, and for those who don't remember, Mygeeto is the snowy city planet from Revenge of the Sith. Mygeeto was the home planet of the Lurmen (the lemur people from Filoni Wars) and a Lurman named Jat Kaa "found" Coca-Cola, Sprite, Dasani and Diet Coke and mass-produced them... His drinks became the tastiest and most popular beverages in the galaxy and with that he created his own company called Jat Kaa's Coolers... Everybody loves them... And it is absolutely canon that tourists love these and green soy m;lk so you can't say no to them. Boy you can just feel Disney pocketing that sweet product placement money. To think Redditors thought Coca-Cola was the one begging Disney for representation.

Got some bittersweet news though. GE is indeed flopping and even FOX isn't hiding it, but it means employees will be getting their hours cut even more despite already going through cuts or having been let go.
 
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For starters (boy this is gonna give me a headache) Coca-Cola is produced on the planet Mygeeto, and for those who don't remember, Mygeeto is the snowy city planet from Revenge of the Sith. Mygeeto was the home planet of the Lurmen (the lemur people from Filoni Wars) and a Lurman named Jat Kaa "found" Coca-Cola, Sprite, Dasani and Diet Coke and mass-produced them... His drinks became the tastiest and most popular beverages in the galaxy and with that he created his own company called Jat Kaa's Coolers... Everybody loves them... And it is absolutely canon that tourists love these and green soy m;lk so you can't say no to them. Boy you can just feel Disney pocketing that sweet product placement money. To think Redditors thought Coca-Cola was the when begging Disney for representation.
Fucking product placements got canonized before the Old Republic era. What a time to be alive...
 
I just hope that during a heated battle in IX, BB-8 will pop open a hatch to an internal mini-fridge and allow Rey to reenergize herself with the sweet and refreshing taste of an ice-cold Coca-Cola™ in the limited edition Jat Kaa™ Cooler™ design, available at any featured cinema and in Disney World™ Galaxy's Edge™ or via online retail on the official Disney™ online shop.

At this point I expect a shot-for-shot remake of this ad:
only it'll be during the big climax of the movie.
 
Fucking product placements got canonized before the Old Republic era. What a time to be alive...
Horrible thing is it could have worked if everyone wasn't so lazy and blatant about it. Coke Cola and LucasFilm prop department could've made entirely new packaging (bottle, can, juice box and/or other) that would naturally fit into the SW Universe that when seen briefly on screen and done in a way only fans and eagle eye high functioning causals would notice it. Like for example the FedEx cameo appearance in the Expanse, or the Coke missiles in Macross: DYRL movie but in the new packaging. SW EU covering the history and shenanigans of the various ship & weapon companies sort of already lay out a working template that could've been used for the back story for the SW Coke company.
 
I dunno about you, but I'm really looking forward to Defunctland's rundown of Galaxy's Edge after it either fails or gets redesigned into something based on a more popular franchise. Like Kingdom Hearts 3.
The Original Kingdom Hearts Sora character costume was apparently stolen, but all I hear about is fucking Buzzy being kidnapped and thats apparently the biggest deal despite his ride being notoriously shit.
 
Got some bittersweet news though. GE is indeed flopping and even FOX isn't hiding it, but it means employees will be getting their hours cut even more despite already going through cuts or having been let go.
I feel for the employees though. I mean I don’t blame them for working at a shitty park and being miserable.
 
Horrible thing is it could have worked if everyone wasn't so lazy and blatant about it. Coke Cola and LucasFilm prop department could've made entirely new packaging (bottle, can, juice box and/or other) that would naturally fit into the SW Universe that when seen briefly on screen and done in a way only fans and eagle eye high functioning causals would notice it. Like for example the FedEx cameo appearance in the Expanse, or the Coke missiles in Macross: DYRL movie but in the new packaging. SW EU covering the history and shenanigans of the various ship & weapon companies sort of already lay out a working template that could've been used for the back story for the SW Coke company.
It would've been incredibly easy, even with the lore they set up here. Just make it Coke under a new name and format. Tourists can't even read what's on the labels anyway so it wouldn't matter. Call it Lur-Cola, Lur-Cooler, Mygee-Cola, Jat Kaala, anything really, and there were already alien sodas in SW before Disney and even after Disney they could've used that easily fit the bill. Photon Fizzle was basically Sprite or Mountain Dew, Orgone Bubbler could've been grape Fanta and Fizzyglug was pretty much a parody of Coca Cola and already had a Diet variant and Original variant.

The fact they used the real name and slapped it all over the SW universe just makes it obvious that its nu-Lucasfilm needing some product placement-money probably because some less retarded higher-up executive doesn't want to keep using Marvel money to bail them out whenever they fuck up.
 
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