DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

The Jokester said:
Why doesn't just do what every other man does when he starts to go bold, just shave that shit off.
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Shave what off? He has full, healthy, strong, intelligent, adult, street smart hair. Also Khet likes it and his expensive hairstylist from another town agrees with him, is also a big fan and loves his content. Only conspiracy theorists who think the world is black and white would write trollish mentally ill comments like this, when in truth this is not how reality works, sorry to say, but this is the truth. He can't do it anyway, he has no time because he's constantly working.

Okay, I'm out of Phil-quotes.

His hair is just like his house, his cat, the other Kat. It has to exist to confirm his success and power over negative detractors.
 
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The Jokester said:
Why doesn't just do what every other man does when he starts to go bold, just shave that shit off.
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It all stems from Phil's denial that he's getting old: shaving his hair would confirm in his mind that he's losing hair, and that's something old people do, and Phil's not old guys! He's a spry, able-bodied man! That's why he has thinning hair, a bad back, gout, post-nasal drip, and why he has to take walks around his house so he "doesn't get blood clots".

He's just deathly afraid of getting old, so as long as he doesn't have to do anything that give attention to the fact that he's damn near his forties, then it's all good for him. This is a common trait among manbabies.
 
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It all comes down to denial. If he hadn't repeatedly said he wasn't losing his hair, he could admit he's like most other guys and losing his hair. Unlike the rest of his failings, this one actually isn't his fault, but for some reason (that reason being Phil's being a bitter little man) it became something to "debate". I mean buddy, we can all see your hair is fading fast. Let it gooooooooo.
 
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God he has such a fucked up hairline. No wonder he doesn't like being near people. Deep down he knows how fucked his shit is that he doesn't want to blind people with a shiner by shaving it all off.
 
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Mask_de_SMITH said:
It all stems from Phil's denial that he's getting old: shaving his hair would confirm in his mind that he's losing hair, and that's something old people do, and Phil's not old guys! He's a spry, able-bodied man! That's why he has thinning hair, a bad back, gout, post-nasal drip, and why he has to take walks around his house so he "doesn't get blood clots".

He's just deathly afraid of getting old, so as long as he doesn't have to do anything that give attention to the fact that he's damn near his forties, then it's all good for him. This is a common trait among manbabies.
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In Phil's mind, the moment you turn 50 you become frail and weak and may crumble into dust if somebody breathes in your direction. That's why his parents are on death's door and he could easily take out Mike Tyson.
 
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I think he's scared of two things with cutting off those petroleum hair-locks: he can't buzz it anymore because that Mariana Trench will still be highlighted with him having black hair & he doesn't want to shave it off due to razor costs, the effort, and it usually has to be done 3-4 times in week.
 
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holycrap.png


for gods sake, this is just terrifying. Just wear a beanie or shave it off, you nonce.
 
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N0thingICanDo said:
That hair tho............

RIP HAIR


View attachment 900581View attachment 900580View attachment 900582
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Seriously, Phil. Just suck it up and buzz it down. Buzz your head, shave that awful fucking abomination around your food-hole, and look almost semi-kinda-normal.

Watch. One of these days, he'll go on his day off and do exactly that and he'll make some stupid shit up about how he wanted to do it for a long time, but he had to convince Kat and Ja$per to let him, because they both LOVED his grease mop.
 
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Nigel of Ukip said:
Man he should just shave it off at this point, damn. Balding sucks but it happens, it's a common thing.

Can't wait for that one day he walks on stream with a dollar store toupee on or a horrible comb over and not adress it at all.
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Man, as a fellow boomer his hair is still better than mine, I'm just not in denial. He just needs to do something different with his hair. We know he doesn't like taking care of his hair, I don't know why he grows it out just so he can wet it and slick it back. Slicking your hair back is not a good idea when your hairline is receding and people haven't done it since the 90s. I'm really sure both Kat and Leanna liked it, sure, yes.

To be fair his hair isn't too bad for a 40 year old, I've seen way worse from Twitch streamers in their 20s/early 30s.

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Asmongold - Age 27

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Reckful - Age 30 (28 in this top down view)

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Dansgaming - Age 31 (How is this guy only 31? I swear he's looked like he's 45 for the past 10 years)
 
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