DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Pargon]

Is that the one where when you get like 4 shots in a row the announcer says "YOURE ON FIRE" and the ball is covered in flames?

Yes, and also the one where you can leap ten stories in the air for a dunk before shattering the backboard and despite it being a Midway game this doesn't shower the opposing player with shards of glass before Ed Boon comes out to rub his bare ass all over their bloodied faces.

 

[Surly Muppet]

Phil just said on prestream tonight that he got a lot of cheers today (over $300, I believe), but cheers "don't do anything for him" for a month and he really needs the help now through tips.
He then proceeded to threaten to ban anyone who derails the stream by bringing this up, citing someone asking "does this mean you don't want cheers?" "You're a moron!"

This lust for tips is getting a little out of control, and between the $2k, Twitch payments, and Phil flatly saying he wasn't overdrawn this month, it's even more suspicious than usual. It's like he needs immediate cash to throw around for some reason...
Also reminder the budgeting is for kids, real adults know you can't actually do it.

 

[harbinger]

I'm probably nitpicking and/or you were commenting just in general, but he fell short of the Super Bowl during last night's Madden playthrough, losing in the conference championships.

On his last possession he had a chance to win, being only down four. On the opponents' 39, 2nd and 4, he dropped back to pass and saw this:

View attachment 901771

X looked to have good separation, but Phil opted to the sidelines for triangle.

View attachment 901827

Defender stepped into the ball's path for the pick.

Phil: "So you want to know the truth. That's complete horseshit. 'Cuz I pressed lob. So he would toss it over the defender to my receiver and he just tossed it right to the defender. Yeah. I tossed lob. I tapped it. Very lightly. So what that's supposed to do is he tosses it high, so it would go over the defender to the receiver who was behind him. He just threw it to the receiver like I didn't even tap the button. So now we're done. There's no way we can get the ball back and score. We're not... there's no Super Bowl after all of that. After all that there's no Super Bowl because the fucking game's a piece of shit."

Except:
View attachment 901833

The game did read his input as a lob. The slow toss gave the defender plenty of time to make the play.


EDIT: I didn't see earlier. basically what shekelshoah666 said.

I guess this means no more Madden Chill Streams.

 

[Draza]

I'm probably nitpicking and/or you were commenting just in general, but he fell short of the Super Bowl during last night's Madden playthrough, losing in the conference championships.

On his last possession he had a chance to win, being only down four. On the opponents' 39, 2nd and 4, he dropped back to pass and saw this:

View attachment 901771

X looked to have good separation, but Phil opted to the sidelines for triangle.

View attachment 901827

Defender stepped into the ball's path for the pick.

Phil: "So you want to know the truth. That's complete horseshit. 'Cuz I pressed lob. So he would toss it over the defender to my receiver and he just tossed it right to the defender. Yeah. I tossed lob. I tapped it. Very lightly. So what that's supposed to do is he tosses it high, so it would go over the defender to the receiver who was behind him. He just threw it to the receiver like I didn't even tap the button. So now we're done. There's no way we can get the ball back and score. We're not... there's no Super Bowl after all of that. After all that there's no Super Bowl because the fucking game's a piece of shit."

Except:
View attachment 901833

The game did read his input as a lob. The slow toss gave the defender plenty of time to make the play.


EDIT: I didn't see earlier. basically what shekelshoah666 said.

It's because he lobbed, the football was intercepted. Plus if it wasn't lob in, he threw the football in tight coverage in a short corner route where it would it would have been intercepted or incompleted anyways. There where plenty of other options to threw to and he had timeouts to work with in which he doesn't have to risky in the drive. But of course he had to fuck it up and blame the game. His complaints and whining in Madden is just pure nonsense and ignorance.

 

[N0thingICanDo]

DSP discovering his inner self at his Judgement Stream tonight

I totally didn't edit the screenshot, okay?

*Snorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt*

 

[KD6-3.7]

DSP just let everyone know that he doesn’t have a “photogenic memory”.

 

[actually]

This lust for tips is getting a little out of control, and between the $2k, Twitch payments, and Phil flatly saying he wasn't overdrawn this month, it's even more suspicious than usual. It's like he needs immediate cash to throw around for some reason...
Also reminder the budgeting is for kids, real adults know you can't actually do it.

I'd think it's related to the upcoming quarterly tax payment, but he gets paid by Twitch on around the 15th, so right when the tax payment is due. As such, the cheering would help with that. Lord only knows what dipshittery he's involved in.

 

[Phil Factor]

This lust for tips is getting a little out of control

Maybe he's upset that Twitch makes like 20-30% commission off of those? I know subs are 50% too but he seems to be hooked on keeping a monthly minimum of those anyways. Also, he might get pissy if you tell him he doesn't want people to cheer because of TOS baiters? Otherwise it's just the usual boy crying wolf help me schtick with the tips.

 

[Pargon]

Maybe he's upset that Twitch makes like 20-30% commission off of those? I know subs are 50% too but he seems to be hooked on keeping a monthly minimum of those anyways. Also, he might get pissy if you tell him he doesn't want people to cheer because of TOS baiters? Otherwise it's just the usual boy crying wolf help me schtick with the tips.

With the exception of Twitch Prime, subs are passive money for which he can hope to get every month as people forget to cancel, much like his Patreon. The difference between the two being he's all but abandoned his Patreon, and begging on Twitch happens anyway.

 

[Surly Muppet]

Phil just thanked someone for the biggest tip of the night ($10), and made sure to note that it has been a 'slow night'.
But it didn't stop there. 'As a matter of fact, it's been a slow day in general.'
This fucking guy.

DSP discovering his inner self at his Judgement Stream tonight

If you want to hear some really mature commentary, watch this chase segment with the naked dude. At one point, Phil said he saw the guy's ass, and he 'saw everything. I could see right up into his colon! I think he had corn today!'
Nobody can take a lewd joke and make it as autisticaly uncomfortable, descriptive, and abject-body-oriented as Phil. It's not funny, it's just off-putting.

EDIT: Phil is currently shitting on the American Pie movies for just being raunchy comedy that people were into in the 90's.
Yeah, Phil. It's a shame they didn't get into edgy degeneracy like talking about corn in colons. You know, the real high-brow sex comedy.

 

[KD6-3.7]

Phil just thanked someone for the biggest tip of the night ($10), and made sure to note that it has been a 'slow night'.
But it didn't stop there. 'As a matter of fact, it's been a slow day in general.'
This fucking guy.


If you want to hear some really mature commentary, watch this chase segment with the naked dude. At one point, Phil said he saw the guy's ass, and he 'saw everything. I could see right up into his colon! I think he had corn today!'
Nobody can take a lewd joke and make it as autisticaly uncomfortable, descriptive, and abject-body-oriented as Phil. It's not funny, it's just off-putting.

EDIT: Phil is currently shitting on the American Pie movies for just being raunchy comedy that people were into in the 90's.
Yeah, Phil. It's a shame they didn't get into edgy degeneracy like talking about corn in colons. You know, the real high-brow sex comedy.

Phil was doing a side mission where a guy was trying to pull a girl away to have his way with her, and Phil said something like “what an asshole” or “scumbag”. If it were four or five years ago, I can hear Phil in my head saying something like “Come here, bitch! Time to blow me! AHA-ACKACKACKACK!” or “Just show me your tits baby!” or something like that. But he’s changed. He’s a married man. Grow up.

 

[Surly Muppet]

New details provided tonight about the car accident that burned off half of Phil's face and left him with permanent brain damage (I assume):

- He was getting onto the highway/parkway from high school. The alleged speed limit was 55mph on this parkway.
- Phil was 'just changing lanes' after getting on, going from right to left (I assume, per standard, the left lane is supposed to be for passing at a higher speed...)
- Phil was going 30-40 mph when he was doing this. Phil emphasizes this, presumably to show how innocent he is. He doesn't mention why he got into the passing lane after having just merged onto the parkway at 10-20 under the limit, but sure.
- As Phil changed lanes, someone (I speculate it was Tevin), came up going 100mph. Phil is sure of this because of the speed that they were coming at him, it must have been 100mph. Double the limit, extremely illegal. Please note that these people were presumably in the passing lane.
- Phil, calculating that they wouldn't be able to stop, exclaimed 'oh shit' and veered into the right lane again
- Upon doing so, he overcompensated and went "ding" (I suspect it was not a "ding") and hit the guard rail/divider/"rail-rail-railing"
- THE CAR then lost control and crashed (please note: it was THE CAR that lost control)
- If the other car was not going insanely illegally fast in that left lane, he would have been able to lane change safely
- If Phil had not got out of the way and "caused the accident [he] caused", it would have actually been worse because the guy would have rear ended him. That was a direct quote there.
- Everyone probably would have died in that scenario, so Phil's personal Paul Walker Experience was "the better of two situations".
- A dash cam would not have helped, because it wouldn't have seen the guy coming behind him.
- Phil got angry at people in the chat for stating that it was his fault.

So, in conclusion, Phil's accident was his fault, he was driving like an idiot by his own admission, probably without his glasses, and a dash cam probably would have only verified that Phil was going 20 below the limit and immediately moved into the left lane after merging for reasons that are, at best, nonexistent. This is some of your shittiest work, Phil. Stop relying on retcons and try to get the story at least half-right the first time.

 

[KingjadVCMP]

New details provided tonight about the car accident that burned off half of Phil's face and left him with permanent brain damage (I assume):

- He was getting onto the highway/parkway from high school. The alleged speed limit was 55mph on this parkway.
- Phil was 'just changing lanes' after getting on, going from left to right (I assume, per standard, the left lane is supposed to be for passing at a higher speed...)
- Phil was going 30-40 mph when he was doing this. Phil emphasizes this, presumably to show how innocent he is. He doesn't mention why he got into the passing lane after having just merged onto the parkway at 10-20 under the limit, but sure.
- As Phil changed lanes, someone (I speculate it was Tevin), came up going 100mph. Phil is sure of this because of the speed that they were coming at him, it must have been 100mph. Double the limit, extremely illegal. Please note that these people were presumably in the passing lane.
- Phil, calculating that they wouldn't be able to stop, exclaimed 'oh shit' and veered into the right lane again
- Upon doing so, he overcompensated and went "ding" (I suspect it was not a "ding") and hit the guard rail/divider/"rail-rail-railing"
- THE CAR then lost control and crashed (please note: it was THE CAR that lost control)
- If the other car was not going insanely illegally fast in that left lane, he would have been able to lane change safely
- If Phil had not got out of the way and "caused the accident [he] caused", it would have actually been worse because the guy would have rear ended him. That was a direct quote there.
- Everyone probably would have died in that scenario, so Phil's personal Paul Walker Experience was "the better of two situations".
- A dash cam would not have helped, because it wouldn't have seen the guy coming behind him.
- Phil got angry at people in the chat for stating that it was his fault.

So, in conclusion, Phil's accident was his fault, he was driving like an idiot by his own admission, probably without his glasses, and a dash cam probably would have only verified that Phil was going 20 below the limit and immediately moved into the left lane after merging for reasons that are, at best, nonexistent. This is some of your shittiest work, Phil. Stop relying on retcons and try to get the story at least half-right the first time.

Didn't Phil get some sort of financial compensation for this accident occurring?

Would be funny if the powers-that-be were able to review that decision based off Phil's own dumbass testimony.

 

[actually]

Phil was 'just changing lanes' after getting on, going from left to right (I assume, per standard, the left lane is supposed to be for passing at a higher speed...)

If I understood him correctly, he was going from right to left. So into the passing lane...while going, by his own admission, 20 mph under the speed limit. Based on what he said tonight, I think he was merging onto this roadway (looks like Merritt Parkway, which does indeed pass by Stratford) going too slow, probably because he wasn't wearing his glasses and thus couldn't see well, saw a car coming up behind that was probably doing 65 in a 55, panic'd, and hit the guardrail.

Naturally, none of this was his fault, even though he was driving too slow. Phil is also unaware that rear dash cams exist.

Didn't Phil get some sort of financial compensation for this accident occurring?

Would be funny if the powers-that-be were able to review that decision based off Phil's own dumbass testimony.

Hasn't this story changed a few times as well? Aireadlord claims Phil told him he got settlement money, but in more recent tellings, the other car drove away (mostly because they didn't actually hit Phil), so there was no lawsuit to be had.

 

[Surly Muppet]

If I understood him correctly, he was going from right to left. So into the passing lane...while going, by his own admission, 20 mph under the speed limit. Based on what he said tonight, I think he was merging onto this roadway (looks like Merritt Parkway, which does indeed pass by Stratford)

Yes! Thank you, I edited my post to correct that. He said it was right to left, I flipped it when I initially wrote it. Much like Phil, my keyboard lost control and my autonomy was briefly suspended, so I'm not at fault.

Hasn't this story changed a few times as well? Aireadlord claims Phil told him he got settlement money, but in more recent tellings, the other car drove away (mostly because they didn't actually hit Phil), so there was no lawsuit to be had.

Well in this version, they were going so fast they probably only saw that hyperspace blur. They didn't even notice the flaming ham running out into the street behind them.
If this is the version of the story that he went with, I'm not sure how much of a settlement he would get, particularly if this phantom car just disappeared. However, there was also a brief time when a car accident was credited for the back injury and that got retconned out, replaced with his face burns and mother being cruel to him in the hospital. So I'm not sure about any of this.

 

[Nigel of Ukip]

- As Phil changed lanes, someone (I speculate it was Tevin), came up going 100mph. Phil is sure of this because of the speed that they were coming at him, it must have been 100mph. Double the limit, extremely illegal. Please note that these people were presumably in the passing lane.

Couldn't help myself.

 

[SleepyNibba]

So is Phil skipping Remnant? it just came out and is a souls game with guns.
Surprisingly the game is really fucking good.

 

[Kermit the Frog]

New details provided tonight about the car accident that burned off half of Phil's face and left him with permanent brain damage (I assume):

- He was getting onto the highway/parkway from high school. The alleged speed limit was 55mph on this parkway.
- Phil was 'just changing lanes' after getting on, going from right to left (I assume, per standard, the left lane is supposed to be for passing at a higher speed...)
- Phil was going 30-40 mph when he was doing this. Phil emphasizes this, presumably to show how innocent he is. He doesn't mention why he got into the passing lane after having just merged onto the parkway at 10-20 under the limit, but sure.
- As Phil changed lanes, someone (I speculate it was Tevin), came up going 100mph. Phil is sure of this because of the speed that they were coming at him, it must have been 100mph. Double the limit, extremely illegal. Please note that these people were presumably in the passing lane.
- Phil, calculating that they wouldn't be able to stop, exclaimed 'oh shit' and veered into the right lane again
- Upon doing so, he overcompensated and went "ding" (I suspect it was not a "ding") and hit the guard rail/divider/"rail-rail-railing"
- THE CAR then lost control and crashed (please note: it was THE CAR that lost control)
- If the other car was not going insanely illegally fast in that left lane, he would have been able to lane change safely
- If Phil had not got out of the way and "caused the accident [he] caused", it would have actually been worse because the guy would have rear ended him. That was a direct quote there.
- Everyone probably would have died in that scenario, so Phil's personal Paul Walker Experience was "the better of two situations".
- A dash cam would not have helped, because it wouldn't have seen the guy coming behind him.
- Phil got angry at people in the chat for stating that it was his fault.

So, in conclusion, Phil's accident was his fault, he was driving like an idiot by his own admission, probably without his glasses, and a dash cam probably would have only verified that Phil was going 20 below the limit and immediately moved into the left lane after merging for reasons that are, at best, nonexistent. This is some of your shittiest work, Phil. Stop relying on retcons and try to get the story at least half-right the first time.

If this really is the Definitive Edition of the Car Accident Story, then that's clearly Phil's fault. He wasn't paying attention, panicked when something suddenly forced him to pay attention, smashed into the guardrail and crashed. It's funny that whenever Phil reveals more details of a story to make himself look more like the victim, he ends up making himself look worse. I don't even know why he's so obsessed with this car crash story, is it one of the few interesting things that's ever happened to him so he has to constantly tell it? You'd think for someone who was in the FGC for a decade, he would have some interesting stories to tell while he's playing video games, but no better stick to personal bullshit. Even though he also says he doesn't want to reveal too much about his personal life, which sounds like a contradiction to me, but whatever.

Didn't Phil get some sort of financial compensation for this accident occurring?

Would be funny if the powers-that-be were able to review that decision based off Phil's own dumbass testimony.

Hasn't this story changed a few times as well? Aireadlord claims Phil told him he got settlement money, but in more recent tellings, the other car drove away (mostly because they didn't actually hit Phil), so there was no lawsuit to be had.

Phil's flip-flopped on this. Sometimes he says the guy was caught and Phil sued him, where he received a payment directly from the other driver's insurance. Based on this most recent telling of the car accident, even if the other driver were found, there's no way the car insurance companies would fault the other driver for Phil crashing on his own volition. You can't just say "They forced me to crash! They were speeding and I had to swerve to avoid them!" without any proof or witnesses and expect to win. If anything, Phil going way below the speed limit would make the insurance companies put Phil at fault. I think Phil made up the "I got a huge settlement from it, dood!" part to act like he knows the law and can win court cases as a warning to detractors or something. I don't know, but it sounds like a very Phil thing. Sometimes he says the other car drove off and nobody was able to find them, which means the only financial compensation he would have received would have been from his own car insurance company giving him the value of the car and a little bit extra if Phil threw enough of a stink (which of course he would). It's possible Phil was given enough money to get another car and have some saved up after, which you know he immediately spent on some dumb shit.

 

[mollymawk]

It appears Panda Lee deleted her YouTube account.
Social Blade has channel data ending on the 20th.




=====

Bill Cosby was pretty funny. Too bad he turned out to be a rapist.
"But he was entitled to."

Phil jokes about Bill Cosby. 90 seconds.
"Bill Cosby, he's a funny comedian. Some day I hope to grow up just like him."
"Call Cosby on the phone to get some love advice. He said just put two pills in the drink. Nice!"

=====

$300 in cheers not appreciated.
So you don't want cheers?
Big ups Liquid Richard.
I didn't know that viewers could receive tips as well, that's pretty outstanding.
Purge the ban list.
ludwigworldorderfan [1] [2]
The Curious Case of Rumpelstiltzkinz.

Miscellaneous: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

 

[NeckyTheThumb]

New details provided tonight about the car accident that burned off half of Phil's face and left him with permanent brain damage (I assume):

- He was getting onto the highway/parkway from high school. The alleged speed limit was 55mph on this parkway.
- Phil was 'just changing lanes' after getting on, going from right to left (I assume, per standard, the left lane is supposed to be for passing at a higher speed...)
- Phil was going 30-40 mph when he was doing this. Phil emphasizes this, presumably to show how innocent he is. He doesn't mention why he got into the passing lane after having just merged onto the parkway at 10-20 under the limit, but sure.
- As Phil changed lanes, someone (I speculate it was Tevin), came up going 100mph. Phil is sure of this because of the speed that they were coming at him, it must have been 100mph. Double the limit, extremely illegal. Please note that these people were presumably in the passing lane.
- Phil, calculating that they wouldn't be able to stop, exclaimed 'oh shit' and veered into the right lane again
- Upon doing so, he overcompensated and went "ding" (I suspect it was not a "ding") and hit the guard rail/divider/"rail-rail-railing"
- THE CAR then lost control and crashed (please note: it was THE CAR that lost control)
- If the other car was not going insanely illegally fast in that left lane, he would have been able to lane change safely
- If Phil had not got out of the way and "caused the accident [he] caused", it would have actually been worse because the guy would have rear ended him. That was a direct quote there.
- Everyone probably would have died in that scenario, so Phil's personal Paul Walker Experience was "the better of two situations".
- A dash cam would not have helped, because it wouldn't have seen the guy coming behind him.
- Phil got angry at people in the chat for stating that it was his fault.

So, in conclusion, Phil's accident was his fault, he was driving like an idiot by his own admission, probably without his glasses, and a dash cam probably would have only verified that Phil was going 20 below the limit and immediately moved into the left lane after merging for reasons that are, at best, nonexistent. This is some of your shittiest work, Phil. Stop relying on retcons and try to get the story at least half-right the first time.

If he can read frame rates he can read miles per hour doode