Containment What If?

[Apocalypso]

What if Chris could fly?

 

[Picklechu]

What if Chris could fly?

Spoiler

 

[hurpdurpmanguy]

What if Chris forgot how to breathe?

 

[Abethedemon]

What if Chris forgot how to breathe?

He would shit his pants and suffocate because he didn't do anything.

 

[normankrasner]

What if Chris forgot how urinate?

 

[IncinerateChicken]

What if Chris forgot how to breathe?

Then he would blame his death on the trolls with his last gasp of air.

 

[AnOminous]

What if the current convergence of lolcow eruptions really is the beginning of "Crisis on Infinite Derps," as someone suggested yesterday?

 

[Ho Mo for Women]

What if the current convergence of lolcow eruptions really is the beginning of "Crisis on Infinite Derps," as someone suggested yesterday?

Dozens of alternate Chrises would band together to fight the blue-armed menace, marching to SEGA HQ and pepper-spraying anyone who stands in their way. In the end, they'd get about half a mile from 14 Branchland Court before they'd all collapse and die of exhaustion (and stress).


What if Chris was the Joker?

 

[Apocalypso]

What if Chris was the Joker?

He wouldn't be funny or threatening, just dumb.

What if Chris became a giant, demolishing cities in his wake?

 

[Abethedemon]

He wouldn't be funny or threatening, just dumb.

What if Chris became a giant, demolishing cities in his wake?

Everyone would have DIRTY, CRAPPED, BREIFS

 

[Stud2Stud]

What if alien invaders had randomly abducted Chris in order to gain intel on Earth's politics and history?

 

[ToroidalBoat]

After an examination of Chris' beliefs, it's possible that they would question how civilization on Earth manged to last for over 6000 years.

What if Chris' biological and technological distinctiveness was added to the Borg?

 

[Stud2Stud]

What if Chris' biological and technological distinctiveness was added to the Borg?

"Wh- We are the Borg. Lower your DAMN SHIELDS and surrender Your Ships. We will add your sweethearts and Lego to our own. Your culture will adapt to serve us q-sands. So there."

 

[Captain Homicide]

"Wh- We are the Borg. Lower your DAMN SHIELDS and surrender Your Ships. We will add your sweethearts and Lego to our own. Your culture will adapt to serve us q-sands. So there."

"Ri- resistance is fu- futi- is useless. Hmm, yeah."

 

[Ho Mo for Women]

"Wh- We are the Borg. Lower your DAMN SHIELDS and surrender Your Ships. We will add your sweethearts and Lego to our own. Your culture will adapt to serve us q-sands. So there."

What if Chris was a redshirt on the Enterprise?

 

[CWCissey]

What if Chris was a redshirt on the Enterprise?

His incredible luck will counter the red shirt.

That or he would be the first red shirt to be killed by another crew member

 

[Stud2Stud]

What if Chris was a redshirt on the Enterprise?

I imagine Chris' rotund shape would mean he'd be the only starfleet ensign with an exposed midriff.

Also his superiors would desperately try to send him on away-missions to scan potentially life-threatening anomalies, however he'd always sod off to the Holodeck to hang out with his favorite characters.

"Ensign Christian Ricardo Christine Birth Name Christopher Weston Chandler's personal logbook.
Maaaajor update... I was JUST minding My Own Business in the Holodeck when Securijerks busted in and told me to LEAVE and do my JOB. As if I Hadn't Done MORE THAN ENOUGH!!! Ugh. They just grind my GEARS! They are just typical klingon-like men! Anyway, this goes out to Clyde Kirk, if you Want to Attack and HARASS me, Come and Fight me in the Beta Centauri System!"

Also he'd whine about 'damn coldhearted vulcan women' a lot.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

What if Chris was a redshirt on the Enterprise?

That would mean that the standards for Star Trek has gone way down, brother

 

[CWCissey]

That would mean that the standards for Star Trek has gone way down, brother

 

[Abethedemon]

What if Chris was an active Jewish mystic?