حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 125 13.1%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.7%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 528 55.3%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 228 23.9%
  • Total voters
    954
Connor said:
I'm both impressed and disturbed by the fact that Deeker can expound on his passion with clarity and dedication in writing while it takes me months to hit one hundred pages on a shitty first draft.
Click to expand...
Really Connor? I'm beginning to think that you can't go anywhere without shoving your glorified fanfiction into it.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: Mr. Awesome Man, Randall Fragg, BOLDYSPICY! and 9 others
Chanbob said:
Holy dick, someone less tech-illiterate than me needs to make this shit happen!

I imagine the traffic going by being composed of stuff like trucks with 'GoC Ice Cube Co.' and 'MR Navel Oilers' on the side. Maybe the odd billboard in the background advertising the new Molay Ringworm movie, 'Wrong Planet'.
Click to expand...
One could put that together in less than 20 minutes in Game Maker. I actually would but I put some shit on my plate that I want to work on.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: Mr. Awesome Man, Scribbler, Grand Number of Pounds and 2 others
Chanbob said:
Before I knew what Connor looked like, just from reading all the posts, I always thought he looked like this -
vVsjW9D.jpg
It's as best an image as I can find of a bloated, existentialist frog. Just needs an eye patch, I think.

EDIT - Connor to me from now on will be known as Frogger.
Click to expand...
The difference between the two is that that frog is fucking adorable.
 
  • Agree
  • Feels
Reactions: Ti-99/4A, Jacquetta, PixelKnot and 9 others
Perhaps I was wrong. This Molly Ringwald is beginning to strike me as genuine, with her short log-ins and inexperience with Teamspeak. If she were an imposter operating under the direction of the Farms, what would they possibly gain from the ruse outside of some rather mean-spirited lulz?
 
  • Agree
  • Dumb
  • Like
Reactions: Mr. Awesome Man, Bluebird, Ti-99/4A and 19 others
Connor said:
Perhaps I was wrong. This Molly Ringwald is beginning to strike me as genuine, with her short log-ins and inexperience with Teamspeak. If she were an imposter operating under the direction of the Farms, what would they possibly gain from the ruse outside of some rather mean-spirited lulz?
Click to expand...
See? Now how's that résumé coming?
 
  • Optimistic
  • Like
  • Winner
Reactions: Watcher, Sonic Hoo, Picklechu and 2 others
Connor said:
Perhaps I was wrong. This Molly Ringwald is beginning to strike me as genuine, with her short log-ins and inexperience with Teamspeak. If she were an imposter operating under the direction of the Farms, what would they possibly gain from the ruse outside of some rather mean-spirited lulz?
Click to expand...
Exactly. Paranoia can make our perceptions distorted; now that you have calmed down and are looking at this rationally, you can see things for how they are.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
  • Winner
Reactions: Ti-99/4A, PixelKnot, FramerGirl420 and 5 others
Connor said:
Perhaps I was wrong. This Molly Ringwald is beginning to strike me as genuine, with her short log-ins and inexperience with Teamspeak. If she were an imposter operating under the direction of the Farms, what would they possibly gain from the ruse outside of some rather mean-spirited lulz?
Click to expand...
Okay. Are you volunteering yet?

Slightly Off Topic- So what the hell is Wrong Planet and why do they tolerate his bannable offenses already listed?
 
IIRC Wrong Planet is a website for autistics to gather and discuss things that interest them, and also autism. Thus, there's a higher tolerance for socially-inept nonsense, I imagine.

EDIT: and I'm not using "autistics" sarcastically, it is literally a forum for autistic people.
 
  • Agree
  • Informative
Reactions: Ti-99/4A, Picklechu, BOLDYSPICY! and 5 others
Connor said:
↑
What's the point of trying when I know that I'm going to fail, or be undermined?
↑
Nothing. It's the same thing I'll get when I actually do something.
↑
You know what? I have everybody. I hate myself. I hate this fucking world. I don't see how I'm expected to live in it. I don't see how I'm supposed to deal with idiots, scumbags, and assholes without blowing their brains out.
↑
I call bullshit.
↑
You want dates, times, and addresses, motherfucker?
↑
You actually think I can take life's shit like going a ring with Mike Tyson in his prime? Seriously, go fuck yourselves. Most of my life, I've been betrayed, spat on, undermined, and humiliated. You honestly fucking expect me to deal with other people with a poker face?
↑
Why don't you go fuck yourself?
↑
What's the point of trying when I'm going to fuck up anyways? I always fuck up!
↑
Fucking up is not okay!
↑
I'm telling you, there's no fucking point in trying when failure is inevitable!
↑
You know what failure is? It's life's way of telling you that you should just fucking give up.
↑
I will fail.
↑
What reason do I have to be optimistic in this existence?
↑
I have nothing to live for. Don't bother pulling the "third-world country" shit on me, because every nation is a third-world nation.
Click to expand...

Coster had a good compilation.
 
  • Agree
  • Informative
Reactions: Ti-99/4A, BOLDYSPICY!, Coster and 1 other person
There are so many habbenings in the world today - Chris has court, Sick Nick getting potentially partyv&d, Golden Knight being dead, Jace getting the front page on Gawker - it can make your head spin!

But you don't come to this thread for habbenings. You come for comfort, for simplicity, for consistency. You come for Connor, who is the Tomato Soup and Grilled Smegma of lolcows.

Lucky Part 13 of Wrong Planet coming up

Connor needs to hire a bunch of voice actors (or kiwis who can imitate celebs) and dub dialog in for Godzilla movies.
upload_2015-4-12_8-55-30.png

I wasn't going to post yet another spergy thread about Molly with broken youtube links but god damn it Connor you will die if people don't pay attention to you, won't you?
upload_2015-4-12_9-0-28.png

[Broken link]
[Broken link to The Stand Miniseries]
[Broken Link[
(in an unrelated thread)
upload_2015-4-12_9-1-59.png
upload_2015-4-12_9-2-48.png

Even though Connor has referenced Brett Easton Ellis, compared himself to him as a writer, and quoted American Psycho, Connor hasn't read anything by him as of 2011 - 2 years since he's been doing it.
upload_2015-4-12_9-4-56.png

The thread in which Connor is a racist asshole about his friend and the other posters encourage him
upload_2015-4-12_9-8-3.png

upload_2015-4-12_9-8-52.png

The thread in which Connor admits everything we all already know
upload_2015-4-12_9-11-53.png

Connor is a misogynist again (and slips up about dating that pot head :) )
upload_2015-4-12_9-13-38.png

upload_2015-4-12_9-25-56.png

More pityfishing *yawn*
upload_2015-4-12_9-15-57.png

upload_2015-4-12_9-24-42.png

Without a single shred of internal introspection, Connor yells at people for sperging about their interests
upload_2015-4-12_9-18-44.png

More chronic masturbating
upload_2015-4-12_9-26-43.png

If Connor lost 150lbs and moved more than the distance from his computer to the fridge, he could basically be Jace
upload_2015-4-12_9-28-10.png
 
Last edited:
  • Informative
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Ti-99/4A, IrnMayden14, Randall Fragg and 14 others
It never fails to amuse me that Connor uses tvtropes trope names on other sites, and even capitalizes them to draw attention to the fact.

Also, the Bret Ellis thing trips me out. There's no reason for Connor not to read him, it's right up his alley. Ellis only has a handful of books anyway- you can easily knock out his entire bibliography in a month.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • Agree
  • Like
  • Feels
Reactions: Mr. Awesome Man, Takayuki Yagami, Cephalometrist and 6 others
I actually find myself becoming really annoyed any time Connor brings up Molly Ringwald.

Like, I appreciate that you're giving an older actress this much attention, because Hollywood doesn't treat older actresses very well, but damn, dude.

Chill.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Papa Nier, Ti-99/4A, PixelKnot and 8 others
Meowthkip said:
I actually find myself becoming really annoyed any time Connor brings up Molly Ringwald.

Like, I appreciate that you're giving an older actress this much attention, because Hollywood doesn't treat older actresses very well, but damn, dude.

Chill.
Click to expand...
No one else cares about her the way you do bruh
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Ti-99/4A and wagglyplacebo
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back