DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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People have been making similar claims about him for more than half a decade now, and for several years regarding the taxes specifically. He always pulls through.

i think kat (not the furry one, the toothy one) is an unstable element here. over half of american marriages end in divorce. i don't really think DSP is savvy enough to be in the minority there. it's just a matter of time.

normally, i'd be worried we wouldn't know about it happening but DSP will probably still be around in 5-10 years cashing supercuckmans social security checks, unless we find a cure for autism or something.
 
This guy is old news but if fatfuck failure Phil were a TV personality he'd be this guy:
My god, that is Phil's real dad! But the similarities are uncanny lol Even his trolls made memes about him like the toilet flush and fat jokes. Someone should tell Phil about Gorgeous Geroge whether be someone's username or stated in a cheer because he would be so confused. Imagine if "Gorgeous George" memes become popular in the DSPhere and he makes an emote of Gorgeous George, now that would be funny as fuck lol
 
So we are boiled down to two theories and both of them could be very very very wrong because Dave can't help but fucking lie every other sentence he speaks so we are left in the dark on most of.

Either A. Dave pockets a chunk of change and is lying about being broke. Or B. Dave is broke as hell and is telling the truth about it but nobody can trust a thing he says.

How does a man have such bad credibility that nobody can tell the lie from the truth anymore? 🤔

We can make a guess that the reality is somewhere down the middle of the two. On one hand, we know that Phil is too dumb with money to have sizable sums saved up in a bank. Impulse buying, spending on expensive food often, heck, even buying a condo he now leaves unused and rotting just to impress a chick once. On the other hand, he leaves easy money on the table like the ~$500 a month he could get from renting his CT condo, scurrying away when a bigger streamer raids his channel losing possible new viewers in the process, or even just cutting down on shit he doesn't fully use like one of the two business-class internet lines, so he's not really hurting for money at this point.

Like other farmers here mentioned before, though, being broke is an easy lie to peddle to his gullible regular paypigs since they don't make him accountable and ask for receipts. They just open their wallets and mouths and metaphorically suck Phil off.
 
Thing is, since he's on a payment plan with the IRS already, unless he pays everything off, I don't think he can get on another payment plan. Maybe @SoapQueen1 or @marlintan can refresh our memories on all of that.
I never responded to this and found it in my list of quotes. Oops. That is correct.
The IRS (so named because it's THEIRS) gives no fucks about your bills. They're taking the account, the house, the car, etc.
Only bankruptcy can stave them off, and Phil makes far too much for a liquidation bankruptcy so he'll be on a multi-year payment plan.
I really look forward to the bankruptcy filing full of documents, mandatory public information, showing how much he earns/spends/owes/owns.
 
Like other farmers here mentioned before, though, being broke is an easy lie to peddle to his gullible regular paypigs since they don't make him accountable and ask for receipts. They just open their wallets and mouths and metaphorically suck Phil off.
Like many other words Phil's definition of "broke" means something different then the common definition.

Guessing when he was younger Phil would bug his parents for something and they would say 'we're broke," at least until they "learned their lesson" after he was such a nightmare after not getting a Wolverine toy they just bought him everything so they would never have to go through that shit again. Anyway, since Phil never mentally matured he thinks being broke means not being able to buy unnecessities.
 
We can make a guess that the reality is somewhere down the middle of the two. On one hand, we know that Phil is too dumb with money to have sizable sums saved up in a bank. Impulse buying, spending on expensive food often, heck, even buying a condo he now leaves unused and rotting just to impress a chick once. On the other hand, he leaves easy money on the table like the ~$500 a month he could get from renting his CT condo, scurrying away when a bigger streamer raids his channel losing possible new viewers in the process, or even just cutting down on shit he doesn't fully use like one of the two business-class internet lines, so he's not really hurting for money at this point.

Like other farmers here mentioned before, though, being broke is an easy lie to peddle to his gullible regular paypigs since they don't make him accountable and ask for receipts. They just open their wallets and mouths and metaphorically suck Phil off.

I agree. Definitely the only possibilities that it can be as to how he gets so much money yet always seems in debt is that he's either lying about it or he's that shitty of a spender and is in the much debt. I agree its a mix of both. I think he gets a ton of money, doesn't put a lot of it on paying off debt and instead spends it frivolously, ends up with no money and debt and bills creeping up, he freaks out, goes full sky is falling on prestream and begs for more. He gets more money, ends up doing the same thing rather than tackling the debt head on. It's basically, lets say he has a $4000 debt. One month he'll get $4000 but rather than paying off the debt so he doesn't have to worry about it, he'll put $500 to it, then $500 another debt, then $1000 to monthly bills then just spend the other $2000.
 
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Phillip is SO DESPERATE for a big paypig like cuckinggz(swagginz) or tut to come to the rescue with 1000 dollar tips yet no one shows even the 2000 dollar jaspar scam was nothing but cookie crums compared to Christmas of 2018, it will be funny to watch phils slow decline in mediocrity. ( Its the trolls dood its always the trolls!)
 
One of the main reasons I think Phil is doing just fine financially is that we've very rarely seen Phil in panic mode. What are things we'd classify as Code Red situations for Phil? I'd argue "any circumstance that warrants a Reeemergency stream", mainly because they feature zero gameplay, only talking to his viewers. Now, I think a reasonable argument could be made that he's not playing games because he needs to give 100% of his focus to whatever story he's spinning, and I think that'd be a good argument, but it's also Phil putting more than the bare minimum of effort into something, which we know he doesn't do unless he feels he's forced into a corner. So even if these "let's talk" streams aren't necessarily filled to the brim with truth, we can safely assume that something is driving him to do them. Any other begging he does (Minecraft whinging, Blackout toilet time) is just bog-standard, "I want munny", Page One out of the Phil Burnell handbook.

Going by that metric, we haven't seen Phil in truly dire straits for a while now. He hasn't felt a real need to be ahnest with his viewers in a while, which leads me to believe that things are just hunky dory, and when he brings up being overdrawn for the fifth time in a month while he's aimlessly meandering around some video game it's just touching on the pressure points he things will open wallets. There's no truth to them at all. When Phil wants to sit down and talk plainly, that's when people should sit up and take notice.

Just look at the lies he tells: zero effort, no further elaboration given nor offered, and the same handful of stories over and over. What reason does he have to change anything up? He gets the sympathy quarters he wants no matter what. If he was on the brink, he'd only be able to go so far not to show it.

That said, "the brink" is different things to different people. Phil has a lot more to lose than some Twitch affiliate living alone in an apartment in Kansas who just streams for fun or to supplement income, and on top of that he's got an entire legion of people waiting to see him fail. Any desperation move he makes has to be couched in language and behavior that still makes the worst case scenario not sound like the end of the world. Think about all the times he's talked about losing the Wakhando. Has he ever once spoke about it in terms of being homeless? No. It's always "I might have to move into a smaller place". While that might be disastrous for him, it's only because his ego can't take the notion of the one-two khambo of losing his Real Adult House and having to go through the physical effort of finding a different place and moving. He knows he'll never be living on the street, and so DEFCON One is all things that pull back the curtain on what an incompetent, unfunny, milquetoast moron he is.

This post is getting away from me so let me tie it back to my original point: Phil will leap into action if and only if he has no other option, and he has to be so careful about it that a blind man can see it. "Nothing draws attention like evasive action". When Phil is really in the shit, we'll all know because he'll be up on that diseased loveseat turning cartwheels to talk out of both sides of his mouth. He needs that munny, dood, things are bad. Oh, are you gonna lose your home, Phil? Is Jasper going to starve? Are they going to turn off your power and water and cut down your internet?

W-well, n-no, I still got it all under control, huhuh. I just..really need that munny right now, you know what I mean? Anyway, here's how you can tip me...
 
I agree. Definitely the only possibilities that it can be as to how he gets so much money yet always seems in debt is that he's either lying about it or he's that shitty of a spender and is in the much debt. I agree its a mix of both. I think he gets a ton of money, doesn't put a lot of it on paying off debt and instead spends it frivolously, ends up with no money and debt and bills creeping up, he freaks out, goes full sky is falling on prestream and begs for more. He gets more money, ends up doing the same thing rather than tackling the debt head on. It's basically, lets say he has a $4000 debt. One month he'll get $4000 but rather than paying off the debt so he doesn't have to worry about it, he'll put $500 to it, then $500 another debt, then $1000 to monthly bills then just spend the other $2000.
If Phil didn't need to work six days a week, sometimes twice a day, Phil wouldn't work six days a week. Multiple times after a successful fundraiser Phil suddenly gets a sore throat or runny nose and is "forced" to take a few days off. Phil's a lazy bastard and wouldn't "work" as much as he does if he didn't have to. You can argue he's saving a nest egg and you may be right, but Phil has never planned anything for the future before, except for his strict schedule of course.
 
One of the main reasons I think Phil is doing just fine financially is that we've very rarely seen Phil in panic mode. What are things we'd classify as Code Red situations for Phil? I'd argue "any circumstance that warrants a Reeemergency stream", mainly because they feature zero gameplay, only talking to his viewers. Now, I think a reasonable argument could be made that he's not playing games because he needs to give 100% of his focus to whatever story he's spinning, and I think that'd be a good argument, but it's also Phil putting more than the bare minimum of effort into something, which we know he doesn't do unless he feels he's forced into a corner. So even if these "let's talk" streams aren't necessarily filled to the brim with truth, we can safely assume that something is driving him to do them. Any other begging he does (Minecraft whinging, Blackout toilet time) is just bog-standard, "I want munny", Page One out of the Phil Burnell handbook.

Going by that metric, we haven't seen Phil in truly dire straits for a while now. He hasn't felt a real need to be ahnest with his viewers in a while, which leads me to believe that things are just hunky dory, and when he brings up being overdrawn for the fifth time in a month while he's aimlessly meandering around some video game it's just touching on the pressure points he things will open wallets. There's no truth to them at all. When Phil wants to sit down and talk plainly, that's when people should sit up and take notice.

Just look at the lies he tells: zero effort, no further elaboration given nor offered, and the same handful of stories over and over. What reason does he have to change anything up? He gets the sympathy quarters he wants no matter what. If he was on the brink, he'd only be able to go so far not to show it.

That said, "the brink" is different things to different people. Phil has a lot more to lose than some Twitch affiliate living alone in an apartment in Kansas who just streams for fun or to supplement income, and on top of that he's got an entire legion of people waiting to see him fail. Any desperation move he makes has to be couched in language and behavior that still makes the worst case scenario not sound like the end of the world. Think about all the times he's talked about losing the Wakhando. Has he ever once spoke about it in terms of being homeless? No. It's always "I might have to move into a smaller place". While that might be disastrous for him, it's only because his ego can't take the notion of the one-two khambo of losing his Real Adult House and having to go through the physical effort of finding a different place and moving. He knows he'll never be living on the street, and so DEFCON One is all things that pull back the curtain on what an incompetent, unfunny, milquetoast moron he is.

This post is getting away from me so let me tie it back to my original point: Phil will leap into action if and only if he has no other option, and he has to be so careful about it that a blind man can see it. "Nothing draws attention like evasive action". When Phil is really in the shit, we'll all know because he'll be up on that diseased loveseat turning cartwheels to talk out of both sides of his mouth. He needs that munny, dood, things are bad. Oh, are you gonna lose your home, Phil? Is Jasper going to starve? Are they going to turn off your power and water and cut down your internet?

W-well, n-no, I still got it all under control, huhuh. I just..really need that munny right now, you know what I mean? Anyway, here's how you can tip me...
Yeah I fully agree, any time he mentions being overdrafted or having money issues it's just him saying "GIMME MUNNNIES!". Phil lives a comfy lower-middle to upper-middle class life, he just knows that he has to manipulate his audience so he can milk them hard. He's probably terrible with money too, but his underage fans cover that for him, he could be setting up for the future or living even more extravagantly if he weren't so shit at spending.

That said it's only a matter of time until his fame dries up and his spending (and not saving) catches up with him. Still at this rate the detractors waiting for Phil to finally bottom out should go off and have families, by the time their kids are in college Phil should be in some serious hot water.
 
People have been making similar claims about him for more than half a decade now, and for several years regarding the taxes specifically. He always pulls through.
phil survives, but not always in one piece
kat will leave
but i'm starting to think it wont be for a while, because phil has been pussy whipped
and he's so desperate to keep kat, he'll stay pussy whipped
 
phil survives, but not always in one piece
kat will leave
but i'm starting to think it wont be for a while, because phil has been pussy whipped
and he's so desperate to keep kat, he'll stay pussy whipped

Phil is beyond pussy whipped. I remember a stream where he was begging and whining about losing his Washington condo, claiming if he lost it Kat said she would leave him / would lose her too. I'm not going to go look for it, if anyone wants to I can tell you it was before he was married, but it is what it is.
I would not be shocked if she said that while stressed because her life with Phil is not what she imagined, leading them to get Jasper, as Phil said they got him because they were stressed. If she said what Phil claimed she said, he might have started saving up money out of fear. I imagine Phil's ego couldn't handle losing Kat and his Washington condo, because he knows we would have a field day.
But I don't know, wild guess.
 
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phil survives, but not always in one piece
kat will leave
but i'm starting to think it wont be for a while, because phil has been pussy whipped
and he's so desperate to keep kat, he'll stay pussy whipped
How long until he says the cat was "a band-aid on a broken relationship"? We will certainly see him miserable and salty (even more than usual) when this happens, once Kat is sick of being a babysitter for a 40 y.o manbaby and has found a better, more stable and younger man.

If we should trust what he says, and all Kat does is sit in her "office", play skyrim on that miniature screen and pet the cat, I can't see this marriage lasting very long.

We don't know much about his days off but I suspect he takes her out and buys her shit to keep their relationship together. Phil is not the most loving and selfless guy so I can't see her staying after she's on her feet.
 
How long until he says the cat was "a band-aid on a broken relationship"?
that phrase would imply phil had fault
phil does everything right, he does nothing wrong, nothing he could do
when kat leaves, he'll memory hole it to hell and back like he did with panda
"didn't you marry her?"
I DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR TAHLKING ABOUT DOOD?!
"didn't you say you met each other and you knew you were meant for each other?"
*lean in manual ban*
 
that phrase would imply phil had fault
phil does everything right, he does nothing wrong, nothing he could do
when kat leaves, he'll memory hole it to hell and back like he did with panda
"didn't you marry her?"
I DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR TAHLKING ABOUT DOOD?!
"didn't you say you met each other and you knew you were meant for each other?"
*lean in manual ban*
THAT WAS YEARS AGO, ALL OF YOU STUPID IDIOTS THINK THAT REAL LIFE AND BEING A MATURE ADULT IS BLACK AND WHITE, BUT GUESS WHAT - IT'S NOT!
 
Phil is beyond pussy whipped. I remember a stream where he was begging and whining about losing his Washington condo, claiming if he lost it Kat said she would leave him / would lose her too. I'm not going to go look for it, if anyone wants to I can tell you it was before he was married, but it is what it is.
I would not be shocked if she said that while stressed because her life with Phil is not what she imagined, leading them to get Jasper, as Phil said they got him because they were stressed. If she said what Phil claimed she said, he might have started saving up money out of fear. I imagine Phil's ego couldn't handle losing Kat and his Washington condo, because he knows we would have a field day.
But I don't know, wild guess.
He probably said this multiple times, but i'm pretty sure he started saying this before Kat even moved in during the first tax saga. Shows how much confidence he had things will work out with his soulmate/future wife.
 
MATURE ADULT

"Mature adult", "Real gamer", "Authentic Italian"

I'm really not sure why he sticks to these types of tags. I think he feels self-conscience because he lacks qualities in all these areas. He sucks at games, he acts like a man child and he's basically a basic bitch suburban boomer. He has none of the positive traits of the things that he always says that he is.
 
He thinks too low of people, thinks a crackhead will rent out the place and destroy it. In his mind he's the highest form of intelligence and everyone else is a stupid loser that can't even rent out a place properly.
I'm not encouraging any kind of autistic ops but how do we know its not rented and he takes in some of the rent money?
 
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