حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 125 13.1%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.7%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 528 55.3%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 228 23.9%

  • Total voters
    954
Also holy shit this thread exploded while I was at work! & I sure as hell wasn't expecting to return to a mini-fanclub! :oops: You guys are awesome~ I'd be thrilled to keep drawing stupid stuff for you guys, as long as you're entertained by it. I'm waiting on some new nibs for my tablet pen, so it may be a bit before I can post anything else, but I do have a few posts in @applecat 's special fancy art thread, if anyone's interested. @silentprincess has one, too! & @applecat 's & @Hunger Mythos 's posts are hilarious.

I'm so excited to (hopefully) see emo!Florence Foster Jenkins.

As long as i'm in it mastering titties i'm cool

Maybe draw me as a question mark, but not in Anonymous style?

If you include a fluffy white dog in the picture somewhere you'll be my hero. :heart-full:

You guys were already going to be in them! I was just going to go by everyone's avatars, but if you have a reference pic you want me to use, send it my way!

But for now I'm going to go to bed. I'll post more tomorrow.
 
I've never spoken with Connor before these last few pages of this thread, so I'm completely ignorant of his presence on this thread before now. I feel I may be lucky.

I keep giving him the benefit of doubt. There was a time in my life that I was obsessed with Evangelion and the wikipedia articles for Existentialism, but then I was 16 and dumb. I'm still pretty dumb but I'm not 16 and have a pretty decent understanding of how real life works. I feel like Connor is still stuck in that thinking, and I thought that maybe he might be well-versed enough in the workings of this forum and the people it focuses in on that he'd be able to take the things being said here, weed out the shit advice, and apply some of the good points to his life.

However, his posts since I've joined the conversation seem to just be echoing the same stuff he said in the posts that Smutley (whom I praise for his dedication and thoroughness). Which is troubling. Especially the blind, blatant misogyny (and I realize the meaning of that word and don't throw it around lightly) and cynicism. Connor doesn't know shit about women. He, like many other cows on this forum I've chosen to avoid, chooses to take an extremely narcissistic view on their dealings with women and use that to paint the entire gender as evil. It's disgusting. Particularly the part about him wanting to find an innocent women and destroy her. That's disgusting not just for the fact that he wants to ruin a good women, but also for the sheer narcissism it denotes.

And the guy has the nerve to make the main character of his novel a woman. I haven't read any of his writing through as I'm sure its not worth the time of day, but I'm certain Eva doesn't in the least reflect a real woman.

Connor needs to get his shit together, but he seems to be stuck in this middle school state-of-mind and absolutely refuses to relinquish is. He doesn't understand what changing as a person means. He seems to think any inch towards bettering himself means giving up his sense of being.

I don't think I have the patience of you guys to try and give the guy advice. But I salute your attempts.

Also, Evangelion is an incredibly subjective experience, but if Connor thinks of himself as Shinji Ikari, he doesn't understand the series in the least.
 
Also, Evangelion is an incredibly subjective experience, but if Connor thinks of himself as Shinji Ikari, he doesn't understand the series in the least.
I know right! As someone who also once was obsessed with evangelion he clearly doesn't understand it all. The straight up solution to his problems (love others so you can love yourself) has been there the whole time.
 
Also, Evangelion is an incredibly subjective experience, but if Connor thinks of himself as Shinji Ikari, he doesn't understand the series in the least.
Connor can barely understand things when you spell them out to him, let alone anything with ambiguity. He likes Shinji not because of the character, but because (as one of his posts from WrongPlanet noted) Connor finds Shinji Ikari sexually attractive. I'd bet the case is exactly the same with Molly Ringwald.
 
I want to go on record by saying that if Connor actually finishes writing his resume, sends it out and gets ANY sort of job (that he can prove), and shows us a picture of his first paycheck, not only will I take back all the "mean-spirited" things I've said about him, but I will also post a time-stamped picture of myself eating my hat and holding up a sign that says "I was wrong".
 
I want to go on record by saying that if Connor actually finishes writing his resume, sends it out and gets ANY sort of job (that he can prove), and shows us a picture of his first paycheck, not only will I take back all the "mean-spirited" things I've said about him, but I will also post a time-stamped picture of myself eating my hat and holding up a sign that says "I was wrong".

As amusing as this would be I think you're safe.
 
Most girls won't even speak to me or acknowledge my presence just because they can. It's as if I have to change everything about myself to satisfy people's cravings.
First of all, nobody has to acknowledge anybody. Second, and I'm basically going to be repeating myself here, we don't ignore and avoid you "because we can". It's because you're a hateful, whining creep who only cares about fucking.

And don't pretend that's not true because it is, you actually admitted it during the time you were stalking that poor girl (maybe not in these exact words, but there is no other meaning for a post in which you whine that the most sex you'll ever get to experience is masturbation and THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!) That poor girl which was your polar opposite in personalities and you were still bound and determined to fuck her break her be soulmates.

You make your personality loud and clear as soon as you enter a room or join a forum. You constantly get permabanned, but can't seem to figure out why. You blame it on everybody else being a bunch of bullies who like to play Kick the Autistic when the reality is they're telling you the truth about your writing and yourself. When people try to give you advice you literally tell them "fuck you" and "fuck off" because it's not asspats and pity/praise. There are only two reasons why you aren't permabanned here and at Wrong Planet, despite having more than earned it several times over. Here, it's because you've become our own personal lolcow, and you amuse us in your own pathetic way. At Wrong Planet, it's because there are enough mods/admins (even quite possibly the founder) who think like you to tolerate you. And even their tolerance of you might be thin seeing as how a mod actually warned you on at least one occasion. Honestly, sadly, the only place I can think of that will accept you as is are the loveshys. And that's assuming you don't have an account we haven't discovered yet.

Connor, you will never have a true friend, let alone a girlfriend, until you can be a friend. Stop with all of your edgy, fake-intellectual nonsense. Being dark for the sake of being dark does not make a good story, especially when you don't know what to write. Stop trying to make Molly Ringwald your main character. It's creepy and doesn't make sense. If you want to make someone a redhead with short hair, fine. But you can't describe her as Molly Ringwald in <whatever> situation. Molly is a person, not a character. Treat others how you want to be treated. And don't blame women and your lack of sex for all of your shortcomings. Sex is not the most important thing in a healthy relationship.
 
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I remember that Connor wandered into the Vade thread, bitched about Null, and then Null smacked a bitch up.

It was pretty hilarious.
Ah, those were the days. Back then that exchange summarized my entire knowledge of @Connor. But then he didn't shut the fuck up, and now we're here.

I honestly have nothing left of value to contribute to this conversation. I gave my advice/personal story/last fuck ages ago and, like everyone else, was promptly ignored. Now individuals far more well-spoken than I continue to fight a losing battle against the 'tism.

So Conner, as a parting word (until the vodka demands I fruitlessly reengage): tits or GTFO, faggot. Metaphorically.
 
@Connor, you have upset @silentprincess again and this is seriously not ok. Silent is best girl.

I think you know exactly what you need to do here, and you're just spouting emo/pseudo intellectual nonsense to get attention. This has happened so many times now that I feel like it deserves it's own meme.

Presenting to the Farms, a million hours of MS Paint to bring you...Frogger Bible.
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Here's the link for those who'd like to make one - http://memegenerator.net/Frogger-Bible
 
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