Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

At least you don't try to defend the Leia twist. These twists aren't solid at all. It's as if Agent Smith was revealed to be Neo's dad in the Matrix Reloaded. It's horrific. You can think of a billion alternative examples other than the matrix.

The Leia twist resolves the 'love-triangle' and raises the stakes for Luke somewhat, but it is clunky and gross, especially considering the siblings smooched earlier in the movie.
 
Last edited:
The Vader twist is excellent imo, it complicates the motives of Vader,Luke, Obi Wan and Yoda, and changed the tone of the first movie: I can't imagine watching Star Wars without that knowledge. The Leia twist resolves the


The Leia twist resolves the 'love-triangle' and raises the stakes for Luke somewhat, but it is clunky and gross, especially considering the siblings smooched earlier in the movie.
The Vader twist is honestly an immortal moment in cinema. As for Luke and Leia... them being siblings honestly brought nothing new to the table and just seemed to be one of the many pointless things in ROTJ, a natural result of George being under less pressure and less restrictions. Its only true purpose I guess was to give Luke some living family to show that he wasn't alone anymore after his aunt and uncle died and that his father was dying soon, but really it wasn't necessary to make them relatives. The bonds they forged along the way would ensure that Luke, Leia and Han would remain just as close as any family would (ignoring Disney trash here). But I'm not going to start bringing up a 35 year old nitpicking rant about the flaws of ROTJ. I could say a lot, probably even a write a short story on the subject and an entire novel on the Ewoks alone, but that dead horse has been beat to the point that its bones have crumbled into to dust and its remains have scattered to the winds of indifferent acceptance.
 
Also, a new comic book from Marvel was previewed recently where Leia suggests that Rey may be the true chosen one and even uses Yoda's line of "there is another" when one character mentions that Luke is the last hope. The revelation of Rey being the true chosen one is supposedly a key plot point of IX.
For fuck's sake, is she also going to "inherit" the deed to Cloud City and Count Dooku's lightsaber?

No really, what other important thing is she going to take from an old (and way better) character and "do it right"?
 
I never got a chance to read AotC's novelization though but since you seem well versed with SW novels, did you ever read it? What are your thoughts on it? Does it improve or do nothing for AotC?
It's been ages since I read it, but yeah, it was much better. I remember that it expanded Anakin's and Padme's romance, changed some of their lines, included the deleted scenes of Anakin meeting her family (which should have been in the movie itself) and also added to Owen Lars a bunch, which was something that was sorely needed. Otherwise, Obi-Wan's lines about Owen not wanting Anakin to get involved with some "damn fool idealistic crusade" make no sense. As it stands, it still makes you scratch your head because Anakin left to become a Jedi before ever meeting Owen and after his mother died there was no reason to stay on Tattooine.

Also, a new comic book from Marvel was previewed recently where Leia suggests that Rey may be the true chosen one and even uses Yoda's line of "there is another" when one character mentions that Luke is the last hope. The revelation of Rey being the true chosen one is supposedly a key plot point of IX.
Eh, I wouldn't worry too much about this one. The article flip flops and really doesn't seem to understand that Luke was never the Chosen One. I doubt it's anything more than a nostalgia bait line that shows that Leia already knows that Rey is going to be the Luke of the new generation. That said, if IX actually does retcon Anakin being the Chosen One, it will piss me off more than anything in The Last Jedi. You could not go against Lucas's own statements and intentions more than if they did that, and it would cause a clusterfuck since Mortis is canon and unequivocally proved Anakin was the one and only.

The Leia twist was ultimately introduced way too late, but it was incredibly important during Luke's duel with Vader, and it ends up mirroring Anakin's fear regarding losing Padme quite well. I will always have a more positive opinion of Luke and Leia being twins because I grew up with the EU, though.
 
For fuck's sake, is she also going to "inherit" the deed to Cloud City and Count Dooku's lightsaber?

No really, what other important thing is she going to take from an old (and way better) character and "do it right"?
I already mentioned some of the things she gets in IX based on some leaks. Aside from Luke's lightsaber, she also gets his flight helmet, finds his old X-Wing (not sure if she keeps it), some keepsake of his from Leia after completing her training, his "legacy" and his old house on Tatooine. Reminder that she also stole his shitty green tit m;lk-stained books.

It's been ages since I read it, but yeah, it was much better. I remember that it expanded Anakin's and Padme's romance, changed some of their lines, included the deleted scenes of Anakin meeting her family (which should have been in the movie itself) and also added to Owen Lars a bunch, which was something that was sorely needed. Otherwise, Obi-Wan's lines about Owen not wanting Anakin to get involved with some "damn fool idealistic crusade" make no sense. As it stands, it still makes you scratch your head because Anakin left to become a Jedi before ever meeting Owen and after his mother died there was no reason to stay on Tattooine.
Thanks for the heads up. May give it a go next week. But I have to ask, does it expand on Jango's final thoughts before his demise? Do they address the fact that a clone army seems rather inhumane?

You could not go against Lucas's own statements and intentions more than if they did that, and it would cause a clusterfuck since Mortis is canon and unequivocally proved Anakin was the one and only.
Disney's made retcons for the OT, I wouldn't be surprised if they made retcons for Filoni Wars too and simply claimed that the Mortis beings were wrong because... "reasons".

The Leia twist was ultimately introduced way too late, but it was incredibly important during Luke's duel with Vader, and it ends up mirroring Anakin's fear regarding losing Padme quite well. I will always have a more positive opinion of Luke and Leia being twins because I grew up with the EU, though.
Fair enough, although Vader threatening his friends down below would've worked just as well. Still, I won't deny that their family-status did result in some sweet moments and interesting dialogue.
1568617164940.png

Hard to believe this was one of the last pics of them together before the Disney buyout... A Last Supper if you will...
 
Thanks for the heads up. May give it a go next week. But I have to ask, does it expand on Jango's final thoughts before his demise? Do they address the fact that a clone army seems rather inhumane?
Jango is given more time to interact with Boba, if I remember correctly, but I don't think they talk about the clones that much. I'll give credit where credit is dude, outside of Republic Commando, TCW really humanized them.

The novel's intention really seemed to be fixing Anakin and Padme's relationship, and I can't blame Salvatore for focusing on that in particular.

Hard to believe this was one of the last pics of them together before the Disney buyout... A Last Supper if you will...
Seeing images like that also make me sad that the only reason Jacen and Mara died in LotF (curse upon its name) is because it was mandated from higher up. Where my slightly unreasonable anger towards George comes in is actually in regards to his opinion on Mara Jade. He hated her and believed Luke should never have married, which is probably the dumbest extrapolation of Luke's character possible. George had a lot of autistic mandates, to be honest, like Lowbacca being the only wookiee Jedi. That image also makes me laugh because I don't think Anakin Solo is even in it, that's Zekk in the bottom left for some reason, isn't it? I guess it must be during the Swarm War era, but Jacen and Jaina look far too young. Star Wars art always had problems regarding stuff like that, Jacen should have had a beard in a few pieces of art.
 
As for Luke and Leia... them being siblings honestly brought nothing new to the table and just seemed to be one of the many pointless things in ROTJ, a natural result of George being under less pressure and less restrictions. Its only true purpose I guess was to give Luke some living family to show that he wasn't alone anymore after his aunt and uncle died and that his father was dying soon, but really it wasn't necessary to make them relatives.
From what I read the sibling thing was an old plot point folded in from some sequel trilogy ideas GL planned in the 80s that he gave up on after getting tired of working on everything-- Luke's sister was a different character to be introduced in it and the Emperor would have been fought in those stories. Granted this was before Darth Vader and Luke's father were made into the same character.

I also read that "there is another" was written to imply to the audience that Luke was not protected by plot armor and could have very well have been killed by Vader.
 
For fuck's sake, is she also going to "inherit" the deed to Cloud City and Count Dooku's lightsaber?

No really, what other important thing is she going to take from an old (and way better) character and "do it right"?
Honestly the whole "Anakin's lightsaber passes from him to Luke to Rey" thing is still so bizarre to me.
Trying to turn it into some sort of Excalibur or Hrunting or Durandal type legendary weapon just doesn't make any sense.
It was just Anakin's second, or third if you count the green one he had for all of 20 minutes in AOTC, lightsaber.
He made it himself but every other Jedi also made their own so what makes it so special?
Luke used it for a while, lost it and his hand to Vader and then made his own lightsaber to replace it.
The obvious reason is "Rey must have all the things" but even if you take Disney at their word that it's a passing of the torch/lightsaber thing it's still dumb.
It wasn't special in any way besides the fact that Anakin and Luke used it. Other than that it's just another lightsaber from the Clone Wars.
 
Jango is given more time to interact with Boba, if I remember correctly, but I don't think they talk about the clones that much. I'll give credit where credit is dude, outside of Republic Commando, TCW really humanized them.

The novel's intention really seemed to be fixing Anakin and Padme's relationship, and I can't blame Salvatore for focusing on that in particular.


Seeing images like that also make me sad that the only reason Jacen and Mara died in LotF (curse upon its name) is because it was mandated from higher up. Where my slightly unreasonable anger towards George comes in is actually in regards to his opinion on Mara Jade. He hated her and believed Luke should never have married, which is probably the dumbest extrapolation of Luke's character possible. George had a lot of autistic mandates, to be honest, like Lowbacca being the only wookiee Jedi. That image also makes me laugh because I don't think Anakin Solo is even in it, that's Zekk in the bottom left for some reason, isn't it? I guess it must be during the Swarm War era, but Jacen and Jaina look far too young. Star Wars art always had problems regarding stuff like that, Jacen should have had a beard in a few pieces of art.
George could also be a bit of a tyrant. Just look at the production history behind 1313 or when entire ideas and projects had to be completely revamped to suit his whims (like the supposed drama over Anakin Solo's fate). Best thing you could do was make something that didn't catch his interest, but if you caught his eye you were basically screwed. I always kinda hoped George would retire from SW entirely at some point and just leave it in the hands of people like Chee, Abel G. or Luceno, instead he goes full batshit and just sells off to Disney while screwing over his own creation to the utmost extreme, something I thought was not possible after AotC. The man works great as an idea man and advisor but worst thing that ever happened was removing the tard wrangle off him. I mean, here's a notable example. The Ewoks cartoon was naturally another shitty cash grab by George to sell his shitty Care Bears knockoff during the 80s, but surprisingly, it had several young animators and writers who actually made it good and who would go on to become highly regarded in their own right, like Paul Dini. They would actually go on to make interesting stories for the Ewoks show, some of which revolved around discussing pain, loss and death in a kids show, and this was all during the first season when George and Lucasfilm had little involvement with the production of the show. Then comes the second season and complete control over the show is handed over to George and his handpicked team at Lucasfilm because they weren't satisfied with the ratings, resulting in the show getting heavily revamped, voice actors replaced and all mature elements getting removed, with goofier sound effects added and more focus put on wackier shit where bad stuff can never happen simply because they wanted the show to be more marketable rather than feel like something SW-ish. But again, this is not something I want to keep discussing because quite frankly its an old as shit discussion and just derails the subject away from Disney and their upcoming faggotry which honestly annoys me more than Ewok marketing from 30 years ago.
 
Last edited:
Here is the definitive watching order for the movies:

1. A New Hope
2. Empire Strikes Back
3. Return of the Jedi

THAT'S IT. STOP WATCHING NOW.

The truth is, you really don't NEED to watch Anakin turn to the dark side, because it's pointless backstory, the purpose of which was to set up events in the OT. We don't need to observe it to feel its impact, to sense it driving the story. And the story works better without those details getting filled, anyway. The Prequel Trilogy even goes so far as to fuck up things about the characters and settings that we initially liked:

The Jedi Knights were a bunch of boring hippies who were very selective in whom they chose to help. Rich nation wanting to get a trade dispute settled? "We'll be right over!" Poor planet populated by slaves and the downtrodden? "Sorry our hands are tied! We'll just sit by and let the slavers go on their merry way. It's not like we could give secret aid to the oppressed or put pressure on the slavers to stop buying and selling people! Who do you think we are? Powerfully magic space knights with nearly unlimited operating budgets? Oh, wait.... " Also, WTF with Jedi Knights not being able to convert their form of money to a local currency on a planet where intergalactic trade is a thing?

Also, Midichlorians. I don't have to tell you how stupid those things were, do I?

Also, the Jedis having their headquarters on a planet covered with a city. I would have thought a remote planet covered with nature would have been a better HQ. (At least the Sequel Trilogy got ONE thing right - the most important place in the Jedi "religion" being a temple on a planet teeming with life and scenery.)

And how about the idiocy surrounding the Clone Army? The Jedi might not have commissioned them, but deciding to go ahead and use them as a disposable slave race was just confusing. Heroes don't do things like this. (And no one was suspicious about how those Clones might have been programmed or if they might have been created by a darksided Jedi for nefarious purposes?)

Sorry... I'm starting to turn into Mr. Plinkett here. I guess what I'm trying to say is watch the Original Trilogy, then watch Plinkett's Prequel Trilogy Review and feel relief over the bullets you just dodged by not watching the PT itself...
 
This is going to be controversial.

A New Hope = 5/5: A legit classic in filmmaking. Everything works in this film despite the troubled production and wonky writing from George.

Empire Strikes Back = 5/5: Superior to the first one. Goes darker and more mature while expanding the universe and characters.

Return of the Jedi = 3.5/5: I've be honest, the Jabba sequence is way overlong and slows the film down and affects the quality. Take that out (should've been saved for the end), the rest of the movie rocks, especially the Luke/Vader scenes.

Phantom Menace = 2.5/5: Interesting elements that attempts to explain and expand the SW universe, decent performances, awesome music and fight scenes get torpedoed by sloppy writing that leaves more plot holes, awkward moments, and cringe dialogue.

Attack of the Clones = 2.5/5: Same as TPM, but unfortunately the Anakin/Padme scenes and wonky dialogue are CRINGE in execution.

Revenge of the Sith = 4/5: A solid conclusion to the PT that highlights the seeds being planted for the OT. Still wonky dialogue but less significant.

The Force Awakens = 1/5: Plagued by numerous plotholes that harms the legacy of the first six (especially the OT), plenty of awkward and stupid moments, and cancerous acting and writing. Also, JJ has got to be one of the worst action directors ever as the action scenes, particularly with the visuals, are super shit.

The Last Jedi = 1.5/5: On one hand, the Rey and Kylo scenes are good and the movie is beautiful despite the lack of thematic plot.

On the other hand, the movie is legit CANCER.
 
It was just Anakin's second, or third if you count the green one he had for all of 20 minutes in AOTC, lightsaber.
He made it himself but every other Jedi also made their own so what makes it so special?
Luke used it for a while, lost it and his hand to Vader and then made his own lightsaber to replace it.
Going by Anakin's dialogue and reaction to his current lightsaber being destroyed in the droid factory and iirc Kit Fisto carrying a spare lightsaber for him. It was more than implied Anakin was a butterfinger and/or unlucky with his lightsabers. He almost certainly had made and lost several more lightsabers between PM and AotC, and losing his arm cured his butterfingerism with them
 
Last edited:
It's interesting, "Revenge of the Sith" gets some decent praise. Perhaps, it's more of generational thing...

I think the movie is very mediocre. I thinks it's more watchable than the other prequels. But, that's because most of the 'selling points', of the prequels, are in that film...

Personally, though I think ROTJ is the weakest of the OT. I feel the first act(the Jabba stuff)is great. The problems with that film is the middle act. The Endor stuff is a complete slog. The location is boring, the character obstacles are 'low scale'. It's like the movie is killing time. The film is saved with a strong final act..

The other problem are repetitive plot devices(laziness). A second death star and convienent family connections(Leia). The Ewoks aren't even an issue, it's just they become too much of a focus or aren't incorporated well.

But there is nothing wrong with 'teddy bear' aliens in of itself. We have had cute robots and jawas, it fits fine....
 
For fuck's sake, is she also going to "inherit" the deed to Cloud City and Count Dooku's lightsaber?

No really, what other important thing is she going to take from an old (and way better) character and "do it right"?
At this point, I'm just wondering why she hasn't yet done the Kessel Run in 5 Parsec (after loosening the Falcon's handbrake that both Lando and Han never remembered to operate).
Maybe in IX, she'll talk more languages more fluently than C3-P0 (I actually expect her to be able to read the Sith-runes that C3-P0 won't be able to read),

The truth is, you really don't NEED to watch Anakin turn to the dark side, because it's pointless backstory, the purpose of which was to set up events in the OT.
I wholeheartedly agree. The whole point of those movies is watching Anakin fall to the dark side, but this plot is entirely devalued by stilted dialogue, atrociously wooden acting and many, many flaws (like excessive lame attempts at comic relief in shape of Jar Jar and C3-P0 shenanigans).
There are a few nice scenes in there and some memorable moments, but from a purely narrativistic point of view, there is no reason to watch it. That, however, doesn't mean there aren't things to enjoy, like Palpatine chewing a couple scenes or a few nice fights (though I will forever hate the way how they did Light Sabre fighting for being too pointlessly spinny).

Also, the Jedis having their headquarters on a planet covered with a city. I would have thought a remote planet covered with nature would have been a better HQ. (At least the Sequel Trilogy got ONE thing right - the most important place in the Jedi "religion" being a temple on a planet teeming with life and scenery.)
Again, I think the PT should have taken more pages from japanese history and turn Jedi into something akin to japanese warrior monks living in mountain monasteries (ie: removed from the big cities doing their own thing, but close enough to have some influence here and there if they chose to get involved).
Either that or make the Jedi order something that has already perished and the last few remaining people are either small groups living sort of in their Light-Sabre Dojos or who travel around like Ronin.

I've be honest, the Jabba sequence is way overlong and slows the film down and affects the quality. Take that out (should've been saved for the end)
It would serve no narrative purpose and have absolutely no narrative value or impact there.
To give you an example: Imagine the last 25-30 minutes of ROTJ (after Palpatine was defeated and the whole galaxy was showing to rejoice and party) was the movie showing Luke going back to Tatooine to Toshi Station to buy power converters, showing every menial task of him getting them from the shop, paying for them, checking the receipt and his change, loading them up in his floating car, driving home, unloading them in his garage and so on... would anyone care whether he actually got them or not?
 
I disagree that Revenge of the Sith is mediocre, I think it inches its way to "decently good", but I agree that ROTJ has tons of flaws that keep it from being as good as ANH and ESB. A lot of people really seem to hate the opening, but I think it was necessary. It's not like Han could just magically appear unrescued. The opening scenes were moody and slow, and it built up to seeing Luke's character development, which stole the show. Jabba's sail barge just had a lot of issues, like Boba Fett's very much stupid death and some sloppy choreography. The middle of the movie was full of issues, scenes that didn't really connect together, and only had a couple good action scenes, like the speeder bike chase. Ultimately, ROTJ is saved, like someone said, because the last act with Vader, Luke and the Emperor is probably the best Star Wars has ever been in terms of writing quality, acting quality and emotional payoff. Anakin vs. Obi-Wan loses out on this because the writing quality remains questionable, and we get dumbass lines like "from my point of view the Jedi are evil".
 
Alright, instead of endlessly bitching. Let's try to get the ONLY possible pleasure out of the Disney sequels: speculating how they can give any sort of purpose or point to these movies....

Fucking LONG autistic post coming...

Ok, so I thought with the previously rumored 'force/flash' stuff: Abrams was going to try to retcon the trilogy into some 'glorified epilogue' via timewarp. That may have been on the table in a draft. But, since the new reddit rumors surfaced, not a peep on the 'force/flash' angle.

So, they could be going in a different direction. Trying to progress the narrative into SOMETHING different than ROTJ.

I thought the natural end state of the ST was either:

The galaxy comes full circle where the fascimile Republic restored, Jedi Order reestablished. The happy safe ending which I thought was going to be forced in via time warp. Fairytail ending...


The other is the more ambigious/poetic/fanatasy way. The end of an age

So, that other MIGHT be what their doing(given the new leaks).

Disney may be trying to address/fix the dumbest thing Lucas injected into Star Wars. Prophetic myth and nonsensical contradictory philosophy between PT and OT. Specifically, the concept of the 'Balance of the Force'

Ok, so when Lucas was making the OT. There was no Meta myth, balance, or any of that shit. It was just good(Jedi)vs evil(Sith). Simple, straightforward, not complicated...

Then, in the PT, he decided to make Star Wars self important by making Anakin 'The Chosen One' who brings 'Balance to the force'.

Ok, but all he ended up doing was killing the Sith and making the Jedi supreme again(through Luke). That's not balance. Ahh, but the 'Flannel one' explains balance is when the force gets rid of it's impurities(the dark side). It's like healing and cleanzing the body.

Ok, George, that's fucking retarded. He didn't seem to understand the concept he was lifting from Buddhism. But, Lucas realizing his gaff, would then say Luke represents the balance. A new Jedi that would embrace emotional attachment while rejecting evil.

Realizing that wasn't clear at all. George would then, in The Clone Wars, try to articulate this with 'Mortis' story arc. Balance is the father keeping daughter(light) and son(dark) in check. That actually make sense...

Thats not conveyed in ROTJ. So, perhaps, with TLJ making refrences to concepts of 'balance': they will finally settle this bullshit once and for all....

This may one of two ways(I think): Rey represents a new force user that represents balance (neither Jedi/Sith)

Or

Once Palpatine(Sith) is gone, the Jedi have fulfilled their purpose. Rey buries lightsabers/books and has a normal life. Thus, the galaxy is no longer under the pull of either Jedi/Sith(balance).

The galaxy will go into a neutrality. Until a new age where Jedi/Sith reemerge, but it won't involve Skywalkers....

Thats all I got...
 
So... anyone remember the SW author of the Phasma book (among others) who's obsessed with menstruations and polyamory shit? Well it turns out that she and the current senior editor of Del Rey publishing have been celebrating on Twitter for some time due to that the most recent Galaxy's Edge book Black Spire confirmed that Vi Moradi (the awful and failing park's original donut steal character and STAR) is a "confirmed asexual".
1568679069126.png

The book is about asexual awareness to them? I'm pretty sure you are a slug, miss. A hutt to be precise.

Also of note is that the woman currently running the Star Wars social media accounts is a fucking crazy as fuck lolcow and uber feminist who thinks the evil cis male nazis are out to get her and destroy SW for poor and defenseless little non-binary girls of color everywhere and that Kathleen Kennedy is just as bad for not hiring a woman of color to direct SW. She's gone batshit insane and is even attacking her own superiors. As a reminder, she only got this gig because Kennedy wanted more woke women at Lucasfilm. I hope Ms. Kennedy is not regretting her decisions...

1568679507454.png

Bravo Kennedy. Someone actually made a whole video about this crazy bitch and her spergouts.

In some lighter news, Mark Hamill took another jab at Galaxy's Edge, which is still suffering from less than impressive attendance, especially in Florida.
1568679384436.png

I wonder if Bob Iger and Bob Chapek are starting to regret their "the park doesn't need advertisement or old stuff, it'll practically sell itself" mentality.
 
I disagree that Revenge of the Sith is mediocre, I think it inches its way to "decently good", but I agree that ROTJ has tons of flaws that keep it from being as good as ANH and ESB. A lot of people really seem to hate the opening, but I think it was necessary. It's not like Han could just magically appear unrescued. The opening scenes were moody and slow, and it built up to seeing Luke's character development, which stole the show. Jabba's sail barge just had a lot of issues, like Boba Fett's very much stupid death and some sloppy choreography. The middle of the movie was full of issues, scenes that didn't really connect together, and only had a couple good action scenes, like the speeder bike chase. Ultimately, ROTJ is saved, like someone said, because the last act with Vader, Luke and the Emperor is probably the best Star Wars has ever been in terms of writing quality, acting quality and emotional payoff. Anakin vs. Obi-Wan loses out on this because the writing quality remains questionable, and we get dumbass lines like "from my point of view the Jedi are evil".

I think the opening of ROTJ is great: the droids get to be heroic, Leia gets to be badass, the Lando question is resolved and Luke is full on Jedi. Bringing the action back to Tatooine is a nice nod to the first movie, and any sentimental bullshit is avoided: no one hangs around to visit the Lars' burnt out homestead.
These characters love each other to the point of going on an unsanctioned special ops mission with zero back up to save Han. Fuck I hate TFA.
 
Disney was able to make Vi asexual because she will never appear in anything of consequence, so it's not like they need to worry about her love life. For instance, Rae Sloane completely doesn't matter despite being railroaded into being one of the most important founders, if not the founder, of the First Order in early material.

Disney was supposed to weed out the terrible creators and stories but we instead ended up with a bunch of Karen Travisses injecting their pet real world causes into everything. At least Karen Traviss was obsessing over and forcing something actually part of Star Wars.
 
Back