حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Overcast]

In regards to his parents, it feels like Connor is contradicting himself a lot.

He talks about how his parents are apathetic or abusive towards him, but by the sounds of things, they seemed genuinely concerned about his well being when they found that he attempted to commit suicide.

Which is it Connor?

 

[Xarpho]

In regards to his parents, it feels like Connor is contradicting himself a lot.

He talks about how his parents are apathetic or abusive towards him, but by the sounds of things, they seemed genuinely concerned about his well being when they found that he attempted to commit suicide.

Which is it Connor?

Probably the latter, as the other WP posts show him generally being an ungrateful shithead to others, too.

 

[Cosmos]

I know Molly Ringwald must be insanely busy, but I miss her and want her to come back ;_;

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

I know Molly Ringwald must be insanely busy, but I miss her and want her to come back ;_;

Me too. & I can't believe I'm saying this, but I also want Connor to stop by, too.

 

[Count groudon]

I actually think Redesigning Eva would be much more interesting if it were more of a psychological thriller like Jacobs Ladder or silent hill, and all the wacky shit happening to Eva is just her overactive imagination going apeshit while she's locked in a mental asylum or something.

 

[The Knife]

I actually think Redesigning Eva would be much more interesting if it were more of a psychological thriller like Jacobs Ladder or silent hill, and all the wacky shit happening to Eva is just her overactive imagination going apeshit while she's locked in a mental asylum or something.

The Husbando and I came up with a theory that Eva actually suffers a rare neurological disorder triggered by a magnification flaw in her bifocal lenses that causes her to perceive the world as ugly and dangerous. It would explain why no one but Eva actually seems to notice to anything horrible going on, and also why the story keeps repeating the word "bifocals."

 

[Meowthkip]

I actually think Redesigning Eva would be much more interesting if it were more of a psychological thriller like Jacobs Ladder or silent hill, and all the wacky shit happening to Eva is just her overactive imagination going apeshit while she's locked in a mental asylum or something.

That's a bit cliche, though.

I don't think Connor is capable of pulling it off and making it work.

 

[Karen]

Chuniversal Pictures would like to apologize ahead of time for the extreme levels of autism you are about to witness.
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

 

[The I Scream Man]

Chuniversal Pictures would like to apologize ahead of time for the extreme levels of autism you are about to witness.
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

And the best part? It's more coherent and better quality than anything Connor's ever had a hand in.

 

[Connor Bible]

Chuniversal Pictures would like to apologize ahead of time for the extreme levels of autism you are about to witness.
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Wow, Karen. This is actually really good. You've explored, in a very economic and terrifying way, the themes of celebrity obsession and the futility of pleasing others without putting forth any effort to improve oneself! Simply put, one of the best psychological thrillers I've seen.

 

[Fredegunde]

Hey, Connor! A couple of people in this thread were wondering what started your interest in writing when, to be honest, you don't seem to read all that much. Any thoughts?

(Also, what do you like to read?)

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Wow, Karen. This is actually really good. You've explored, in a very economic and terrifying way, the themes of celebrity obsession and the futility of pleasing others without putting forth any effort to improve oneself! Simply put, one of the best psychological thrillers I've seen.

Jesus, you're like Beetlejuice. WE SAID HIS NAME TOO MANY TIMES, GUYS
Anyway, how was school?

 

[Ronald Gaygun]

Hey, Connor! A couple of people in this thread were wondering what started your interest in writing when, to be honest, you don't seem to read all that much. Any thoughts?

(Also, what do you like to read?)

He probably enjoys esteemed playwright Seung-Hui Cho's magnum opus Richard McBeef quite a bit.

 

[Connor Bible]

Hey, Connor! A couple of people in this thread were wondering what started your interest in writing when, to be honest, you don't seem to read all that much. Any thoughts?

(Also, what do you like to read?)

Yeah, I'm kind of lazy (understatement) when it comes to reading. I have a whole shelf packed to the brim, and I've only read a few. How few? I can count them all on one hand.

My genres are mix. Literary, thrillers, horror, science fiction, mystery... why do you ask?

Jesus, you're like Beetlejuice. WE SAID HIS NAME TOO MANY TIMES, GUYS
Anyway, how was school?

Actually, I only go on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

 

[Smutley]

"I hate my mother [...] why doesn't she just crawl back into bed and pop some pills for some nonexistent ailment?"

@Smutley, do you get any sense that Connor is pulling a Vade here? That is, could Mom have a chronic illness (referring to her being "in bed" at 7:30 PM doesn't necessarily prove anything, but coupled with "nonexistent ailment," it makes me wonder) regarding which he is being titanically insensitive?

We've found so much raw content on Connor it's actually staggering. I'm not going to be so naive as to say he's reaching Chris-levels, lord no, not even close. For one he hasn't ever been properly trolled and outside of people being "super mean" by not giving him whatever it is he wants. He's largely been left to talk to an empty room.

But all that unfiltered information is a gold mine for us! I think you're right (even if I am woefully ignorant on the Vade deets). Here's what we currently know about Connor based off his own words.

• He's never been "abused" in a way that wasn't parental discipline or "dad teasing" as Hellblazer aptly described it. Not only that but he has admitted in this thread that he made most of it up to be edgy and get sympathy
• Over the years, his mother has turned from a bit of a boozer into a violent pill popping drunk. His dislike of drunks is just because Connor hates drinking unless it's done for cool points in a story, and his mother I wager enjoys a margarita at Applebee's. But perhaps Noble is on the right path with the pills that there MIGHT be some condition Connor is either too self absorbed or too autistic to understand. I base this on...
• As of 2012 Connor doesn't have a clue what it is his father actually does. He thinks he's an EMT, but he's not totally sure because that's not an important detail in his mind, and he often leaves out that his father has a second job as a "handyman". Connor's parents, to him, are something that keeps him held down while also feeding and housing him.
  • It's also important to know Connor is quick to change details about his parents to suit whatever agenda he is pushing. Is he wanting sympathy for his parents stopping his chronic masturbation? Then they are abusers who have no sympathy even when he tried to kill himself. If he's "cynical" and "black humored"? Then they cared SO much that it was obvious they were faking it! At no point does he say "my parents were really scared that the only son they had together might have died".
• Connor is quick to throw people under the base for sympathy. Just look at his "basically retarded" friend, the one he is "forced to hang out with" - this kid did nothing wrong except associate with Connor and try to be his friend. There is a history here of mistreating those who show any kindness towards him.
• This also extends to people around him, most notably the pedophile "coworker" of his father who he had only seen once, never been introduced to, and doesn't even know where he works. Connor was so sure this guy was a pedophile he was planning on getting himself hired to do yard and house work for the guy to root through his shit and prove his suspicions right... never taking into consideration he can't walk from his bedroom to the fridge without getting winded, let along hauling mulch or tilling soil.
• Perhaps Connor's reluctance to get work isn't because his parents won't allow him but because he literally can't hack it. They are the excuses for his 4 failed standardized tests and what is starting to look like a failed attempt at vocational rehabilitation. This is either due to the fact he shouldn't be working (which is legit) or he was too lazy to do any of the work. I'm leaning more towards the first one coupled with his adamant refusal to admit that anything is his fault or caused by his actions.
• According to articles published in the local papers, Connor hadn't been on Honor Roll since middle school. His parents being pissed at C's is legit because he's a student that should have been in classes tailored towards his disability, or he's a lazy jerk who, by his own words, is too addicted to pulling on his pud to do anything else.

And on a personal note, the only reason I post so much in this thread is because of my old lady giving me permission. As an adoptee who nearly died at the hands of her abusive biological parents, she gave me her blessing to "dig up everything and make that asshole cry". We both suffer from intrusive thoughts, and while she waits on lab results today I suggested she start saying out loud "shut the fuck up Connor", and wouldn't you know it? She's too busy giggling about that to worry <3

 

[DrChristianTroy]

So Connor, top five?

Also what's your deal with race?

 

[Connor Bible]

Also what's your deal with race?

I don't consider myself a racist. However, I have had to put up with assholes of different colors in the past, and that really puts a strain on me. This one time, when I was in vocational rehabilitation, some African-American girl cut in front of me in line when we were getting our checks.

 

[Fredegunde]

Yeah, I'm kind of lazy (understatement) when it comes to reading. I have a whole shelf packed to the brim, and I've only read a few. How few? I can count them all on one hand.

My genres are mix. Literary, thrillers, horror, science fiction, mystery... why do you ask?

I mean, what people like to read typically says a lot about what they're going to write. I would be surprised if someone who only read fantasy epics decided they were going to write the next great American novel, or vice-versa. It's a good idea to decide what you want your writing to be like and start reading more in that genre.

What was the last novel you read? I'm reading Salammbo right now. I'm not sure if I think you would enjoy it or not. Most of the people are kind of shitty, so maybe.

 

[wagglyplacebo]

I don't consider myself a racist. However, I have had to put up with assholes of different colors in the past, and that really puts a strain on me. This one time, when I was in vocational rehabilitation, some African-American girl cut in front of me in line when we were getting our checks.

Haha, really? someone cutting in line sticks in your mind? You are a sad sack.

 

[Connor Bible]

@Fredegunde ,

The last novel I read was A.J. Quinnell's Man on Fire. It was a real page-turner, and I kind of identified with the main character, Creasy.