Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[5t3n0g0ph3r]

I can't help but to be amazed at how much I appreciate AOTC now in light of TLJ.

For all its flaws, it kickstarted a new conflict that was entirely unique from the Galactic Civil War, which in turn led to tons of books, comics, and video games, as well as two kickass TV shows. Even if the movie itself was flawed, it had a positive influence on the series as a whole.

TLJ just tripled down on Galactic Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo, and badly shit the bed with expanding the series.

That's because the ST was made by OT purists with notalgia glasses.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

Its only purpose seems to be to crash and fail in the most embarrassing manner imaginable.
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They're supposedly going to appear on the not-Tatooine planet from IX where after they crash, jet troopers show up to chase after Rey and the gang via jetpacks.

Anyway, here's more info and spoiler shit...

1: The Solo movie is rumored to be getting a fucking sequel, but it won't be theatrical, it will be a Disney+ exclusive show. Disney is determined to prove its not a failure.

‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’ Spinoff Series Rumored For Disney+ -

Solo: A Star Wars Story was a box office miss for Lucasfilm, and caused the studio to rethink its approach towards other anthology films

thedisinsider.com

There's also rumors that the KOTOR and RJ films will be Disney+ exclusives.

2: Disney wants to make sure you remember that the Mandalorian really isn't about bounty hunting or exploring the SW universe of olde, its only purpose is to glorify the First Order and force you to like them.

3: This is Steph from Galaxy's Edge.
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She is a muslim young woman native to Batuu who works as a greeter but secretly serves as an informant for the Resistance. Does this mean Islam is canon in SW now? Also employee uniforms have been updated to feature more colors in Florida's park. Previously employee clothes were restricted to dull grey and brown clothing. I'm guessing Disney thinks making things more colorful will make people like the park more? I should also note that I've finally received info on Florida's park, and apparently its more saturated and colorful than the one in California. Not sure why but I assume its because they wanted the one in Florida to be less Tatooine-ish. Might explain why its getting less visitors.

I'll post more later...
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Honestly, if I was in Disney's situation:

I would use Disney+ to find a hook for Star Wars, then once something sticks. Make some movies around it.

That way you can establish some characters(who have resonance)and do something with them. Potentially, save some money..since they seem utterly clueless as to where to go.

I also feel there are too many projects, not enough passion. Do we really Cassian TV series?

Here is an idea: if we know your character is dead, and you're bland. Probably not a good idea to do a TV series on them...

 

[Creep3r]

Please don’t tell me she is actually Muslim in story

Galaxy's Edge employees are allowed to make up their own lore and canon as long as it does not retcon the Disney films (like claiming TFA and TLJ were just some drunk hobo's wet dream) and they don't claim to be related to a main character (like saying they're Rey or Luke's real father/cousin/etc). So they technically have the authority to make Islam canon, much like Coca-Cola. Although there's already an Islam substitute in Disney canon (two to be precise), the first being the "Order of the Sacred Circle" which also has a hijab (but is alien based) and the Brotherhood of Blissful Countenance from Rogue One (at least that's what Pablo Hidalgo calls them while in the movie themselves they had no name and were obviously muslim stand ins with more earth-like muslims walking about) which is a more obvious Islam stand-in and human-centric except they're "very peaceful and super spiritual" to the point where its members can use the Force... At least according to Pablo and concept art (with said art even showing them with the glyphs of the time anus).

The name of their order and species comes from the old EU religious order called the Sisterhood of Beatific Countenance which was a female-only order who wore robes too but it was to conceal the sacred maps and scriptures tattooed on their skins from non-members while their "hoods" were just glorified breathing masks since members of the order were part of a near-human species called Lorrdians that couldn't breath regular air.

Disney's gender-neutral Brotherhood however wear hoods as a sign of their disapproval towards individuality as well as a taboo they have about showing flesh rather than because they have ancient secrets to hide on their skin since visible differences and genders are considered haram taboo too, so if you're female, you'd best hide it. Speaking is considered just as taboo as individuality, unless you're a male high priest, traits which Pablo seems to portray in a positive light... Instead of names they refer to each other by crazy screams according to Pablo. The "Brotherhood" has been making regular appearances throughout Disney media. Wouldn't be surprised if actual Islam becomes a thing next.

 

[Antipathy]

Galaxy's Edge employees are allowed to make up their own lore and canon as long as it does not retcon the Disney films (like claiming TFA and TLJ were just some drunk hobo's wet dream) and they don't claim to be related to a main character (like saying they're Rey or Luke's real father/cousin/etc). So they technically have the authority to make Islam canon, much like Coca-Cola. Although there's already an Islam substitute in Disney canon (two to be precise), the first being the "Order of the Sacred Circle" which also has a hijab (but is alien based) and the Brotherhood of Blissful Countenance from Rogue One (at least that's what Pablo Hidalgo calls them) which is a more obvious Islam stand-in and human-centric except they're "very peaceful and super spiritual" to the point where its members can use the Force... At least according to Pablo and concept art.
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The name of their order and species comes from the old EU religious order called the Sisterhood of Beatific Countenance which was a female-only order who wore robes too but it was to conceal the sacred maps and scriptures tattooed on their skins from non-members while their "hoods" were just glorified breathing masks since members of the order were part of a near-human species called Lorrdians that couldn't breath regular air.

Disney's gender-neutral Brotherhood however wear hoods as a sign of their disapproval towards individuality as well as a taboo they have about showing flesh rather than because they have ancient secrets to hide on their skin since visible differences and genders are considered haram taboo too, so if you're female, you'd best hide it. Speaking is considered just as taboo as individuality, unless you're a male high priest, traits which Pablo seems to portray in a positive light... Instead of names they refer to each other by crazy screams according to Pablo. The "Brotherhood" has been making regular appearances throughout Disney media. Wouldn't be surprised if actual Islam becomes a thing next.

If that's the case, then some enterprising troll could write about Space Muhammed's Space Pedophilia and Space Terrorism.

"The Death Star was done by Space Islam/was an inside job" conspiracy theories

 

[HeyYou]

It's crazy how fast Disney has turned away from releasing movies theatrically. They can't seriously be insane enough to think they will get enough money from subscriptions to fund blockbuster movies that only release on a streaming service. It's as if they completely missed why fans were mad about the movies released in theaters, which is to say they were shitty to mediocre and Disney constantly fucking around behind the scenes was probably what made them mediocre. Give KOTOR to talented directors and writers, adapt the game faithfully and without bullshit, and it would be super popular. People want to see cool Jedi shit.

And god, Pablo pisses me off the more time goes on. I miss Leland Chee (although I know he's still there). He didn't constantly come up with random bullshit no one cares about and only fucks things up more, he just did his best at tying contradictory things together.

 

[XYZpdq]

It's crazy how fast Disney has turned away from releasing movies theatrically. They can't seriously be insane enough to think they will get enough money from subscriptions to fund blockbuster movies that only release on a streaming service. It's as if they completely missed why fans were mad about the movies released in theaters, which is to say they were shitty to mediocre and Disney constantly fucking around behind the scenes was probably what made them mediocre. Give KOTOR to talented directors and writers, adapt the game faithfully and without bullshit, and it would be super popular. People want to see cool Jedi shit.

And god, Pablo pisses me off the more time goes on. I miss Leland Chee (although I know he's still there). He didn't constantly come up with random bullshit no one cares about and only fucks things up more, he just did his best at tying contradictory things together.

I think they're finding it increasingly challenging to jigger the numbers on movies so they're moving the fight to a ground they more thoroughly control.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Not just SW fans, but a lot of movie-goers seem to believe movie-verses are real places. I believe we saw the same thing with Black Panther and all the woke people who were convinced that Wakanda was an actual thing. It's one thing to realize many movies are fiction while still considering what parts are valid or able to be incorporated into one's life. One LARPing as if part of the movie while ignoring one's reality, however, is head-scratching.

This probably did not help...

At least with Krayt he was doing it to prove that he was some kind of "Great Uniter" figure who could change the Sith. With Disney however, its clear that the whole sith trooper thing was just corporate wankery to see what would sell most toys. I mean look at these lobsters. Ever since their debut its been non-stop merch announcements, ranging from funko pops, blankets, clothes, lego sets, collector's cups, trading cards, backpacks and even fucking alarm clocks of lobster troopers. Now its lobster trooper-brand lightsabers.

I went to Disneyland yesterday and at Star Traders, they had a whole table set up with Sith Trooper shit marked as "New Arrivals! Just in!" or something. It all looked like red blobs of generic crap complete with a child sized manakin clad in child sized Sith Trooper armor. I didn't get a picture of it but it looked like ass - even the mask was falling off the head and nobody fixed it for the entire day.

She is a muslim young woman native to Batuu who works as a greeter but secretly serves as an informant for the Resistance. Does this mean Islam is canon in SW now? Also employee uniforms have been updated to feature more colors in Florida's park. Previously employee clothes were restricted to dull grey and brown clothing. I'm guessing Disney thinks making things more colorful will make people like the park more? I should also note that I've finally received info on Florida's park, and apparently its more saturated and colorful than the one in California. Not sure why but I assume its because they wanted the one in Florida to be less Tatooine-ish. Might explain why its getting less visitors.

I think the Florida GE is more colorful because they're counting on the harsher Florida sun to sun-bake the fuck out of everything and thus fade the colors.

But to tie into this, I don't know WHAT they're doing with the staff around GE in the short time I was there. Around the Falcon there was a guy wearing some baggy clothing with a Disney nametag who I later figured out was a PhotoPass guy because I actually saw the camera around his neck, while on the other side of the Falcon and closer to the entrance to Smuggler's Run was a girl vaguely dressed kinda like Ep. 7 Rey with the stick on her back (but more yellow) who seemed to just be standing around and holding some kind of animal toy that, because I'm not THAT familiar with Star Wars, vaguely looked like a yellow Cammerupt:

I assume it was one of the 'exclusive' toys from the pet shop in GE.



Anyway, onto the meat of why I'm posting to day: I have been to the promised land and it was...meh.

I entered and exited through the middle entrance, just off to the side of Big Thunder Mtn. Railroad and by not following the sign pointing to Fantasyland (I mean, really, why is Disney so intent on NOT making signage for GE? Is it because the land isn't actually DONE YET?). It was a largely empty tunnel that only really denoted your travel into Star Wars territory by subtle John Williams music playing - only for there to be one of those generic Disney guest assistance employees at this random podium near the exit and NOT looking like they belonged at all in Not-Tattooine.

Anyway, once me and my family were in the land, it certainly looked neat and the crowd was not bad at all - certainly more than what I'd been led to believe BUT I think it was ironically more crowded than usual on account of what else I saw (there were a metric fuckton of foreign tourist groups around), meaning it looked somewhat busy. Incidentally, the only time I ever saw Build-A-Droids was outside of GE, but nary a one within anywhere in GE, and even though I passed both that AND the Workshop where you buy the Lightsaber experience, I only saw ONE of the $200 things outside the park, when I was leaving. It was pathetically easy to get in front of the Falcon and get some candid shots with the ship, which itself is easily one of the best parts of the whole land because it's an iconic ship and Disney couldn't fuck it up that much (though apparently there's a hidden mickey on it somewhere, of course).

Smuggler's Run was...odd. At 40 minutes with no fast pass, it was the longest wait my family had the entire day an even then the line went fast enough. The queue is exceptionally good, the big rocket engine animatronic firing up on occasion and the funny loudspeaker conversations felt like Star Tours from the good 'ol days. Hondo Onaka himself was very impressive - my mom genuinely believed it was a real dude - and that was when the good shit ended. You know, right before you even got on the fucking Falcon, the whole reason you're there.

See, after they passed out the cards and it turned out my group of four was paired with this elderly couple celebrating their anniversary (nice folks, they were capable and were the Engineers so ultimately nothing they did was actually important and so I won't mention them again). I was a pilot (right pilot, up/down controls and the Hyperspace lever) along with my sister (left pilot, side to side controls) and my parents were the gunners.

Right after we get the cards, we were herded into the belly of the Falcon. Normally, this is supposed to allow guests to explore the Falcon's innards, get the shot with the holochess table, etc. - NOPE. Immediately we're gathered to go through the right side doorway to the cockpit and we watch a video from Hondo about the mission - interestingly, this was one I hadn't previously seen recorded on Youtube because the power goes out on Hondo's end, including emergency power (though he's still able to record a video?), because the ride wasn't quite done. The cast member said as much but then, for reasons even the cast member admitted out loud he didn't understand, this group of kids in matching outfits (some kinda school trip? They all spoke English) gets brought in through an elevator. So now there's MY group of six and these kids waiting for the ride to actually finish and the cast member is having to pull out Jungle Cruise grade pun jokes I.E. What currency do you use in space? Starbucks! (to be fair to the guy it looked like nothing was going right between the ride not ending fast enough and having to deal with kids who were not assigned roles or even supposed to be there in the first place!). Fortunately for the poor guy, he was only in the middle of the third joke when the pod finally opened and he could herd my group in.

The only thing of note about getting us situated was that apparently, gunners can choose between manual or automatic targeting. The cast member merely repeated how to select between the two when my parents asked how you aim with manual controls. Beyond that, the ride pretty much went as you'd expect if you've seen a video recording of a successful mission where you got the two containers of Coaxium, since my sister and I are at least decent enough at video games to grasp the controls - and yes, the brakes button was on her console (she mashed that thing immediately though, credit to her - the First Order would be irrevocably fucked if their survival hinged on beating her in a game of Mario Kart).

Proof of final results:

I will remark that I think it's legit impossible to get a perfect 100% - given the ride forces your crash to pull the 'it got worse' gag, and then if you do the broken hyperdrive/asteroid field stretch that final asteroid is too big to avoid anyway.

Once the ride was over, though, we didn't get a quip from Hondo at the end (from what I've seen, usually it involves some kind of alien thing that's latched onto his ship and then quickly removed, or him going over all the shit you damaged on the Falcon). Instead, the score popped up, dead silence, then the pod door opened and a different cast member appeared to quickly herd us out - into the exact same hallway as before. This was bad because every other time I've seen people ride the Falcon, and indeed the crux of the ride itself, is to make you believe there is only ONE Falcon, and when you're done, the hallway you exit matches the one you entered, except it's damaged and has some shit scattered around to suggest your crazy flight plan. Not here, it was the same hallway, leading into the elevator which we took down to the exit corridor. Whoopiee, so immersive. Especially given the only water fountain we found with one of those water bottle fillers was in this very exit corridor.

After that, my family left GE - with me stopping by the drink stand to pick up a Thermal Cokinator because why the fuck wouldn't you get something that cheap? It was six "credits" sure, but by Disney standards that's cheap! It's actually pretty cool, I will admit, plus now I get to see if the TSA will allow me to take a replica explosive soda container full of air onto a Boeing 737-900ER.

Oh, we also stopped briefly in Dok-Ondar's shop to see the Ark of the Covenant and the bigass animatronic, but didn't bother buying anything because GOD FUCKING DAMN THOSE PRICES. I would love to have some artwork of Thrawn purely because...well, it's fucking Thrawn if you know anything about him this is self-explanatory. But for $400?! I'd settle for a $20 print!

Overall, though, GE really seems to be overengineered to the point they tried to be Star Wars but frankly missed the mark about the practicality of application in a theme park setting. The Falcon itself only seems to have the Engineer positions purely because the movie Falcon has a six-seat cockpit, but you could eliminate the Engineer positions and if anything it would improve the ride because the biggest complaint from the anniversary couple and my parents was that they were too busy pressing buttons to actually pay attention to the screen. To say nothing about how absolutely awkward the experience was upon 'boarding' the Falcon, since we didn't even get the chance to get the obligatory Holochess table (I'm sure we could have if we actually fucking cared that much and put the foot down so to speak, but my family isn't big on Star Wars).

I also rode Star Tours TAC three times and while I still fully believe the original is a better ride thematically, TAC at least plays around with the concept of an out of control spaceship crashing into everything far better (and in my opinion, the only saving grace of having the Jakku Millenium Falcon chase scene is because the Starspeeder ends up resting on an angle and is something most motion simultaors do not do, so points for creativity and uniqueness). I'll put a full report of my "Disney Day" in the Disney thread where I'll go into more detail about that stuff, given how much crossover there is between these threads with how much Disney is pushing nuTrilogy in the parks.

 

[Gar For Archer]

Honestly, if I was in Disney's situation:

I would use Disney+ to find a hook for Star Wars, then once something sticks. Make some movies around it.

That way you can establish some characters(who have resonance)and do something with them. Potentially, save some money..since they seem utterly clueless as to where to go.

I also feel there are too many projects, not enough passion. Do we really Cassian TV series?

Here is an idea: if we know your character is dead, and you're bland. Probably not a good idea to do a TV series on them...

I honestly don’t think they know how to write realistic characters. Finn’s character concept - a stormtrooper who defects after one of his buddies dies in his arms - is completely betrayed by the fact that immediately after he defects, he goes on to gleefully murder the other troopers, most of whom are presumably like him - abducted as children and brainwashed into soldiers. Some form of hesitation or lingering reluctance on his part would have been nice... not that it really matters because his character was completely destroyed in TLJ anyways.

It’s a real shame cuz he really had the potential to be the most interesting character in the sequel trilogy.

 

[Optimus Prime]

So you went to the one in Florida? Did you happen to visit the crappy little toy store called Toydarian Toymakers or the "Pet" store? Did they have their "exclusive" merch or did they have stuff from Star Tours mixed in there? As for the Camerupt thing, I think that might've been the obnoxious Inflation Pig from Disney's Rebels cartoon, which makes me wonder again why Disney made that show its linchpin...
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Anyway, sounds like Smuggler's Run is even worse off than I initially thought, at least in Florida since everything I know is restricted to California. So were the foreign tourists all from different countries or were the majority from one place in particular? Was there some kind of special event going on?

So much for that immersion bs.

No, I'm in California for the week visiting family, so I went to the "first" Galaxy's edge.

And yeah, that was the thing she was holding. Makes me wonder if her entire point of standing around was to advertise the stupid thing. I never got the chance to ask - pretty much the family was in GE specifically for the Smuggler's Run ride because it was the only high wait time ride (40 minutes at the time) without Fastpass allowing us to walk right on - seriously, GE's crowds looked far better than they usually did in videos and the park was reasonably populated, but the only ride that ever even reached an hour wait time was, weirdly, Matterhorn. Indy never went above 45 and always seemed to have a Fastpass ready, though ultimately my family only rode it twice.

Didn't get the opportunity to visit the "main" shops in GE, namely because they were out of the way and we had a FastPass for Big Thunder to get to - that and the only souvinir I wanted was a Thermal Cokinator bottle because I think it looks neat enough. The Kylo Ren ride looks like it's going to be the biggest disaster since Superstar Limo (if not California Adventure Mk. 1 entirely) so I'm glad I rode the only thing in that section of the park worth riding before never needing to visit it again. I came, I saw, and I left for more rides instead of spending money on overpriced bullshit from a franchise I only know casually.

 

[Creep3r]

No, I'm in California for the week visiting family, so I went to the "first" Galaxy's edge.

And yeah, that was the thing she was holding. Makes me wonder if her entire point of standing around was to advertise the stupid thing. I never got the chance to ask - pretty much the family was in GE specifically for the Smuggler's Run ride because it was the only high wait time ride (40 minutes at the time) without Fastpass allowing us to walk right on - seriously, GE's crowds looked far better than they usually did in videos and the park was reasonably populated, but the only ride that ever even reached an hour wait time was, weirdly, Matterhorn. Indy never went above 45 and always seemed to have a Fastpass ready, though ultimately my family only rode it twice.

If its the California one then I'm not too surprised. The number of visitors rose to decent levels after they announced the date of the opening of the Kylo Ren ride. Still, 40 minute waits are way less than I expected. I honestly thought the California one was at least up to an hour after the announcement of the Florida one's opening. For comparison, the Smuggler's Run in Florida is currently at 30 to 40 minutes and is seeing less activity.

As for why she's holding that dirty inflation pig creature, yes its for advertisement. From what I remember, most people who visit the "pet" store only want the loth kitties and kowakian monkey-lizards, so they probably want to get rid of the unsold pigs by any means. Its also possible that her holding the pig also functions as part of her character since unlike the toys you get at the Toy Store, the toys you get at the Pet Store are supposed to be treated like animals rather than toys by employees.

Anyway its for the best that you didn't visit the main stores. The prices might've made your eyes pop out of your skull. Shit is just an over glorified strip mall at this point.

 

[Optimus Prime]

If its the California one then I'm not too surprised. The number of visitors rose to decent levels after they announced the date of the opening of the Kylo Ren ride. Still, 40 minute waits are way less than I expected. I honestly thought the California one was at least up to an hour after the announcement of the Florida one's opening. For comparison, the Smuggler's Run in Florida is currently at 30 to 40 minutes and is seeing less activity.

Yeah, it was weird, in the days leading up to the visit yesterday, Smuggler's in CA was routinely touting 75 minute wait times. But yesterday it never went above 50.

As for why she's holding that dirty inflation pig creature, yes its for advertisement. From what I remember, most people who visit the "pet" store only want the loth kitties and kowakian monkey-lizards, so they probably want to get rid of the unsold pigs by any means. Its also possible that her holding the pig also functions as part of her character since unlike the toys you get at the Toy Store, the toys you get at the Pet Store are supposed to be treated like animals rather than toys by employees.

I do feel kinda bad for the cast member, working at Disney may seem like a dream job, but all you do is stand around trying to sell toys nobody wants to buy because they're too niche and expensive. On top of the shitty pay. If I'd talked to her, I might have actually bought one of the damn things just for her sake.

I'm way too nice sometimes, I know.

Anyway its for the best that you didn't visit the main stores. The prices might've made your eyes pop out of your skull. Shit is just an over glorified strip mall at this point.

Smuggler's Run is the only thing stopping Galaxy's Edge from basically just being that to the point it would have been better executed as merely a giant stall. I mean, it isn't like they're really doing anything with Launch Bay, they should have just gutted it again and used that instead.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

I can't even remember him using force choke except for a vague recollection that he might have done it in Return of the Jedi at Jabba's palace.

I'm not even sure it was much of a Force choke. IIRC, Luke -- when stopped by Jabba's guards and henchmen -- merely raised his hand just enough for them to start gasping, walked past them, and then lowered his hand so they could breathe normally. This was in contrast to his father who saw nothing wrong with violent Force chokes even as a Jedi before he turned dark. I guess I'm saying Luke's was more of a kinder, gentler, Force choke if one at all.

Turns out the First Order has been using Star Destroyers to bomb planets and mine the crap out of them for building materials.

Once again, Disney shows its lack of creativity. This was the same plot line used in the Ahsoka novel where the planet she settles on is occupied by Imperials that intend to (strip-) mine every possible resource they can and leave it barren and uninhabitable. Yet Disney wants to use the same shtick during the ST era which takes place almost 50 years after the Ahsoka novel.

She is a muslim young woman native to Batuu who works as a greeter but secretly serves as an informant for the Resistance. Does this mean Islam is canon in SW now?

The more a movie or fandom starts resembling real life, the less appealing it tends to become. As previously discussed, fans generally watch movies to get away from reality, not see it played out again on the silver screen.

also feel there are too many projects, not enough passion. Do we really Cassian TV series?

With all the story books, comics, and other ancillary media Disney expects fans to digest to be as up to date as possible with new canon -- movies alone don't suffice any more -- Disney may be stretching themselves too thin with SW projects as exhibited by the overall lack of creativity in movies, other materials, and both versions of Galaxy's Edge.

Here is an idea: if we know your character is dead, and you're bland. Probably not a good idea to do a TV series on them...

I guess this means you wouldn't revive Darth Maul for every other SW work that gets released like everyone else since he was cut in half in TPM.

Anyway, onto the meat of why I'm posting to day: I have been to the promised land and it was...meh.

Semper Fi, brave Kiwi.

 

[Creep3r]

I guess Chuck Wendig may know about this thread now since the similarities between the Mandalorian MC and Chuck's OC Cobb that we discussed in this thread have been going around the rumor mill.

I think Chuck kinda missed the point of the articles discussing the glaring similarities between his OC and the Mandalorian. Nobody claimed you were working on the show Chuck. We know you're a fired has-been who can only get by on shitty books with the words "New York Times best seller" printed on the covers. Everyone was pointing out the fact that Favreau is a fan of yours and has paid homage to your undeserving ass quite a few times already. So its no surprise that he would use your awful book as a guide for the Mandalorian and the origin of the FO. Honestly, I only checked his twitter for 30 seconds and I already feel nauseous from the smell of all the bullshit.

Also, in the new Rey comic that came out, the writers brag about how they fixed and honored fans demands about the lack of affection Leia had for Chewie in the film so they made them hug in the comic. Once again Disney proving that their shitty nu-EU exists only to fix and glorify their awful films while offering nothing of interest on their own which even prequel shit had going for it.

And Leia is so "emotional" and her reasoning is so "heartfelt"...

"Sorry I couldn't be with you sooner Rey. Wookiees are just too clingy". I also like how little planning went into their briefing about their mission to contact Luke... They just send Chewbacca and a girl they barely even know to meet him without any briefing, interrogation or Force mind-reading. Not even backup to watch their backs in case they get ambushed by angry FO pilots... And Chewbacca is treated like a silly pet dog by Rey and barks orders at him on how to manage his own ship. Like wtf.

The issue also reveals that before arriving to meet Luke, Rey single-handedly fought against a giant worm monster, discovered Boba Fett's old ship, fixed the old ship, used it to kill a gigantic worm monster from inside a junk pile and survived unharmed all in less than a minute, wielded her lightsaber with no trouble and then used the jedi mind trick to manipulate the ruler of the planet, and single-handedly ending slavery and tyranny on a planet all by herself, effectively conquering planet Necropolis, which was once one of the more deadlier planets in old canon, yet this teenage girl was able to just waltz on in and fuck shit up with no training and while still being a newbie to the galaxy at large...

Look me in the eye and tell me this kid ain't a mary sue. And in the Snoke comic which I mentioned before, Kylo Ren and Snoke were shown to visit a dark side cave in the preview but it turns out they actually went to Dagobah and Snoke knew where Yoda was hiding all along... somehow.

In some surprising news, that old EU comic (the one that came out in May (the first one released since the Disney reboot years ago)) outsold all the new canon comics except the Galaxy's Edge one (since that was the GE's first issue (60,000 units sold) but it quickly dropped to pathetic numbers following its second issue (20,000 and dropping fast), with the only ones that came close to it in sales being the Age of Rebellion comics about Han and Boba (although they have a fair share of references to Disney shit and Kennedy pandering...).

The downside is that if Marvel realizes the success of this, they may bring back the old EU just to wokify it, worsen it and/or fill it with references to Disney shit too. Anyway, Doctor Aphra's comic finally dropped to 20,000 as of August, making it the lowest selling ongoing SW comic for Marvel. Its expected to drop to 19,000 once the September results come in.

 

[Adamska]

Lotta AotC slander taking place in this thread as of late. Its time to set the record straight.

AotC's biggest flaw is that it was ahead of its time. TPM used real sets and miniatures in addition to cgi and looks pretty good outside anything involving the droid and Gungan armies. But AotC was all cgi before fx studios figured out how to animate cg characters properly, so you end up with a lot of super janky shots in the film (Anakin riding the bull, C3PO at the droid factory, Christopher Lee's mannequin head).

With that out of the way:

The story of AotC is exactly what they needed to bridge TPM and RotS. It establishes Anakin as a character. It establishes his relationship with Senator Palpatine. It gives meaning and purpose to the events of TPM by establishing the Trade Federation as a galactic threat. And it explains how a Republic with no armed forces outside the Jedi became the Empire.

AotC is also thematically consistent with the other films of the trilogy. It was established from the very first teaser that we're watching a tragedy unfold. There are no happy endings, and each victory is, at best, bittersweet.

Most importantly, AotC has some of the best set pieces in the trilogy. I've talked about how much I loved the Jango vs. Obi-Wan fight repeatedly, mainly because its not so much a fight about who will win, but a fight where a normal dude is using every trick he has to not get instantly beheaded by a fucking jedi. The entire Zam Wesell sequence is great (so many great shots of Courescant during the chase), as is the arena fight until the Jedi show up and it becomes blaster porn.

I also love how George pays homage to film noir all throughout the film (Obi-Wan's plot is basically one long film noir homage), because that blend of genres is classic Star Wars and something completely lacking from the soulless sequel trilogy.


Its funny, every complaint people have about the sequel trilogy is something AotC does right, yet AotC is still constantly shit on because of a few wooden performances, cheesy lines and janky cgi.

So you invented rationalizations to like a terrible movie and the best explanation you have is "WELL THEY NEEDED TO CONNECT THE TWO LESS BAD MOVIES TOGETHER SOMEHOW". Okay, I can apply this same logic now to the Last Jedi, Rogue One, and Solo now.

Also it really fails to capture Anakin well, since it completely fucks up Anakin and Obi Wan's roles repeatedly, especially during the chase scenes; with Obi Wan doing shit Anakin would do, and vice versa... all while failing completely to show they were a unit barring quick half-assed dialogue in the beginning to pretend there's more there. Oh, and making out Anakin to just be a whiny nutcase who would've gone dark jedi ages ago with or without Palpy.

Also noticing the weasel word of themes to rationalize unfocused shitty writing and pretending that characters we barely get to know about (the shapeshifter) or who are just a retro-clone bootleg of a toy seller (Jango) that ultimately at best is a macguffin and nostalgia grab has more effect than you think

The movie doesn't stand; you had to bring in your own perceptions and baggage to delude yourself into giving it more credit than it really has.

Just because the sequels suck doesn't mean you should go "well hey, these bad movies look good now... I miss them." The only things they had were good supporting materials and a unified (if extremely badly managed) idea that shows creativity. It doesn't save the product itself, but proves that time period is interesting and can be done well.

 

[HeyYou]

The downside is that if Marvel realizes the success of this, they may bring back the old EU just to wokify it, worsen it and/or fill it with references to Disney shit too.

Never forget, Holdo's shitty planet is canon in the old EU thanks to fucking TOR.

pretending that characters we barely get to know about (the shapeshifter)

I think this is unfair, we didn't get to know Boba in the OT very well either. Zam Wesell served her purpose and bounty hunters backstabbing each other was cool.

 

[Tookie]

Dune showed us that space Islam can be pretty compelling. A megacorporation in CURRENT YEAR stepping on eggshells to portray everything about it in a positive light isn't going to measure up.

 

[Miller]

Also, in the new Rey comic that came out, the writers brag about how they fixed and honored fans demands about the lack of affection Leia had for Chewie in the film so they made them hug in the comic. Once again Disney proving that their shitty nu-EU exists only to fix and glorify their awful films while offering nothing of interest on their own which even prequel shit had going for it.

It's so sad that they're using books and comics to fix the movies and expect people to accept it. To me, if it's not on screen then it didn't happen.

Honestly, if I was in Disney's situation I would use Disney+ to find a hook for Star Wars, then once something sticks. Make some movies around it.

The thing about Star Wars is that you can probably make whatever type of show you want and it would work. If I were in charge I would've ordered a cop show set in the Star Wars universe. You could set the show in Coruscant during the Prequel era (since it's the most interesting and diverse era in terms of cultures and aliens at least compared to the ST), it's one of the most basic concept, doesn't require too much CGI or known characters and it will add more to the world building.
Is there any info on Ronald D. Moore's live action Star Wars show that got cancelled by Disney after they bought LF? I know he can't talk about it since he has signed a NDA.

I also feel there are too many projects, not enough passion.

It sounds a lot like what Alex Kurtzman is doing with Star Trek. He's saturating his own market while being unable to make one good Star Trek show.

 

[Vault Boy]

The issue also reveals that before arriving to meet Luke, Rey single-handedly fought against a giant worm monster, discovered Boba Fett's old ship, fixed the old ship, used it to kill a gigantic worm monster from inside a junk pile and survived unharmed all in less than a minute, wielded her lightsaber with no trouble and then used the jedi mind trick to manipulate the ruler of the planet, and single-handedly ending slavery and tyranny on a planet all by herself, effectively conquering planet Necropolis, which was once one of the more deadlier planets in old canon, yet this teenage girl was able to just waltz on in and fuck shit up with no training and while still being a newbie to the galaxy at large...

Look me in the eye and tell me this kid ain't a mary sue. And in the Snoke comic which I mentioned before, Kylo Ren and Snoke were shown to visit a dark side cave in the preview but it turns out they actually went to Dagobah and Snoke knew where Yoda was hiding all along... somehow.

The Slave 1. Of all the things this bitch can steal from an old character, it had to be the one that belonged to two of them.

What the fuck even is this character at this point?

 

[ZMOT]

Finn and Rose were treated as very distant acquaintances at best until she kissed him, after she fucked the Resistance over.

did she tho? the most laughable thing was the whole setup in that scene. "OH NOES THAT BIG GUNS GONNA KILL US ALL!" which is played up so much finn wants to sacrifice himself (which would give his char at least some sort of sense) to prevent it from firing - only to blow a hole in the wall the size of a garage door. and then what? so not only would finns sacrifice be completely worthless even without rose, even when the absolute worst thing happens, the cannon firing - it makes zero fucking difference.

I honestly don’t think they know how to write realistic characters.

basically western media in a nutshell, what else to expect from sheltered middle-class sanfran tards where the biggest trial in their life is the fear of getting misgendered?
in disney's case it's probably even worse, I can already see execs dictating a perpetuous status quo to not impact toy sales and orders. "here's finn, he was a bad guy, now he's a good guy, and really likes rey (for some reason). he's also a rebel fighting evil space nazis! that's good, right? buy now" opposite "here's phasma, she's a bad guy, but she's cool because she looks like those other guys in white, but in silver! so it's ok! your cool finn figure can now defeat her just like in the movie, that's good, right? buy now!"

 

[PeeveTheSheev]

The Slave 1. Of all the things this bitch can steal from an old character, it had to be the one that belonged to two of them.

What the fuck even is this character at this point?

Funny to note that the Slave 1 just so happened to end up on a junk planet in Rey's path, just like the Falcon, Anakin's lightsaber, and all the figureheads of the old Rebellion. But none of the old alien races inhabit this particular part of the galaxy, no sirree - can't have that kind of diversity now can we?

The Slave 1 is, coincidentally, the last remaining specimen of the Firespray-31 model seeing as the rest were destroyed by Jango Fett on Oovo IV in Bounty Hunter, but that is, admittedly, old canon. Hence, either there are more around in nu-canon, or Rey exerts some kind of gravitational pull on member berries.