حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[MysticMisty]

Goddamn, my limit's already being tested. That was fast.

EDIT: Here are some others whose limits are being tested. Particularly those of the female persuasion.

Spoiler: part 1 of. . .something

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@NobleGreyHorse (sorry, it's been ages since I've drawn horses D: )
@Philly Cheese Steak
@Meowthkip
@The Knife
@IJustWantToSeeAttachments
@Chanbob

Next part is @Miraak, @Cosmos, @silentprincess, @Golly, @caffeinated_wench, & @Altissimo. But I've kinda hit a snag on @Miraak's STUPID FUCKING DRAGONBORN HELMET OKAY

EDIT x2 COMBO: I'm sorry @Miraak I love you I really do

I guess I don't count as female. If I was Connor I'd go and grossly exaggerate how mean you are to me. Or go masturbate furiously until I'm horrifically sore and can no longer feel arousal and never stop. One of those.

Whelp, I was actually wrong. Turns out trolling Connor is a time honored tradition. But what's interesting, really interesting, is they actually reprimand the guy fucking with CONNOR. Not Connor, you know, the shithead who's laughed at mass murders, lied about his parents, called an aspie girl a cunt for not dating him, and wishing his uncle would just die already. Nah it's the guy teasing him. Fuck Wrong Planet, they're enabling idiots.

This pisses me off I'm going to leave this cap unspoilered because this braggadocio and lack of tact is allowed.
https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2015-2-9_20-10-54-png.15479/

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https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2015-2-9_19-56-27-png.15472/

https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2015-2-9_20-9-5-png.15477/

https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2015-2-9_20-9-39-png.15478/

See? This came up after my little rant

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This is so many levels of fucked up. Connor can literally tell people "fuck you" and "fuck off" and no mod or admin cares at all, but this guy gets yelled at because he pretended to steal one of Connor's awful ideas?! That is mountains of bullshit! For all we know he thought a little joking would make Connor lighten up already, and instead gets yelled at about it. Not even "Hey I'm not really comfortable with you messing around with Connor like this, think you could stop?" but "Put your toe out of line again and you'll be banned!" Meanwhile Connor is swearing, ranting, mocking the religious beliefs of other members, chewing people out for offering advice instead of asspats, saying horrible things about women and adopting, and none of them give a shit.

Wrong Planet has got to be one of the very worst places on the internet for autistic people to go to. Especially for females.

 

[HG 400]

Connor is a fat whiny faggot.

 

[Dilbertmann]

Wrong Planet consists of whiny fat faggots.

 

[KingofManga420]

Congrats @Connor all your hard lolcow work paid off!

You know for people that aren't Connor that would be an eye opener when they realize that's their life's only accomplishment.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

I guess I don't count as female. If I was Connor I'd go and grossly exaggerate how mean you are to me. Or go masturbate furiously until I'm horrifically sore and can no longer feel arousal and never stop. One of those.

No, you're gonna be in there, too! I'M NOT GOING TO STOP UNTIL I GET EVERYONE, DAMN IT. THE GUYS ARE NEXT, TOO.

I'm just waiting on my new tablet pen nibs to get here. I have officially whittled my current nib down to nothing, to the point where it won't even register on the tablet. I tried last night.

 

[Kabobs]

I think Connor also deserves an article on the lolcow wiki. There is a whole lot of info gathered on him now.

 

[Arctic]

Anyone notice how similar Connor and Dobson are? Both have this habit of attention-seeking and saying edgy shit, being lazy and then complaining about how their life sucks. The only difference is that Dobson actually has a degree.

 

[EI 903]

Anyone notice how similar Connor and Dobson are? Both have this habit of attention-seeking and saying edgy shit, being lazy and then complaining about how their life sucks. The only difference is that Dobson actually has a degree.

Dobson has also produced plenty of comics, crummy as they are.

 

[Silver]

My fanfic is now 12 pages.

I want to do some sort of bet relating to whether Connor will finish Redesigning Eva or I'll finish my fic (which has two sequels planned, mind) first but idk what

(I totally didn't accidentally post this in the Vade thread first)

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

(I totally didn't accidentally post this in the Vade thread first)

I don't think anyone can fault you for that, seeing as they look NEARLY SAME.

Ah, let's see. . .today I got reprimanded by staff for my bedroom being super-cluttered (ironically, while I was in the middle of cleaning it). I was lectured about needing to set a good example for other residents, & was told I could lose my job if I don't clean up my act (or rather, my room). So instead of pulling a Connor & letting my extreme embarrassment give way to depression, or mouthing off to staff & then passive-aggressively whining on the internet, I straightened up everything & did my laundry.

I'd say that was pretty productive.

. . .I'm still positively mortified, though.

EDIT: I actually feel better now that I've confessed that. Thanks, Kiwi Farms!

EDIT x2 COMBO: Not that I'm complaining, but I'm kinda confused that @Hellblazer keeps giving me sympathetic ratings. I somehow picture him rolling his eyes every time I post, or holding his head in his hands & heaving a defeated stress-sigh.

 

[Cosmos]

I think Connor also deserves an article on the lolcow wiki. There is a whole lot of info gathered on him now.

I agree 100%. Especially considering Smutley's heroic and selfless delving into Connor's internet history. Plus, he has inspired a thread that's 126 pages long. That pretty lolcowish.

 

[lolwut]

I think Connor also deserves an article on the lolcow wiki. There is a whole lot of info gathered on him now.

Definitely. Let him stand as an example of how even a Kiwi can fall from grace, and that taking the time to laugh at a lolcow each day can motivate you to improve your life. He's done more for everyone here as a cow then he has as a normal member.

 

[FramerGirl420]

"Today at 2:51 PM"
Oh Connor, couldn't just log out and stay away like you claimed you were going to do...
It's sweet that you miss us tho~

 

[Cosmos]

View attachment 15523
"Today at 2:51 PM"
Oh Connor, couldn't just log out and stay away like you claimed you were going to do...
It's sweet that you miss us tho~

Please remind me why he's still noted as a "Recovering" lolcow? I think after the whole "Every nation is a third world nation, fuck your inspirational advice, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING BECAUSE OF FAILURE!!!" meltdown he had a couple of weeks ago it became abundantly clear that he isn't very committed to recovering from his lolcowism.

 

[Shiala]

I can't wait for Connor in a few days hours minutes claiming he's made progress on something and that he's most definitely not a lolcow; most likely a paragraph more of RE and then expect praise.

But I'm not going to give him any benefit of the doubt anymore, his attitude here and on Wrong Planet has really pissed me off.

 

[Smutley]

Especially considering Smutley's heroic and selfless delving into Connor's internet history

Haha, you guys need to stop acting like I'm some kind of hero for pulling content. Consider me more of a... sperg archivist working in the stacks. There's something very satisfying about cataloging things even if they are useless. Case in point: 26k songs and counting getting fully tagged and organized.

This series of posts is old enough to drink, beeteedubs - Wrong Planet, Part 21

Let's get the motor goin with some Classic Connor!

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lol I don't even know what this means other than trying to be edgy. It's like saying, "If Mohammed was one of us, he'd be Jafar from Disney's Aladdin" (fun fact: Connor fucking HATES Disney movies)

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motherfucker!

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I don't know if you guys are aware, but Connor's life? It sucks, okay? Just an FYI your intel.

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I suppose since everyone on Wrong Planet knows Connor, this is the obvious next step.

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"I need a bad guy... and the bad guy from Die Hards 1 and 3 were German and so was Hannibal Lecter*, which means all good bad guys are German. What's a good German name... Klaus! That's the MOST German name! But fuck his father was evil too, and he has to be German... he'll be named Helmut, that's super German! And in an earlier draft, His other son will be named... Brian. This is all coming together..."

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*yes I know he's Lithuanian but since Connor hasn't even finished reading a Thomas Harris book I doubt HE knows that

Let it be known that as early as 2012, Connor admitted his parents have never been abusive outside of being parents.

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Now arriving at Hypocrite Station!

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lol what the fuck IS this? I've changed my mind. I want Connor to come back to this thread, and I want him to post at least 1 new movie / story idea every day, complete with who he would cast in the part.

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What happened to the girl at vocational rehab you were dating, Connor? Did your dad get made you didn't eat her pussy too?

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I think those are actually your testicles dude... they probably just dropped.

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...

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It's a good thing Murder, like everything else in Connor's life, is just too much work.

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Who are the biggest Terrorists?

Spoiler

 

[Handsome Pete]

https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2015-2-10_19-9-33-png.15541/

The title of that thread is the most successful thing Connor's ever written. If I saw a link that said "I Think I Found A Lump/Tumor In My...," I'd be horrified, but unable to resist clicking through to see the end of that sentence. The rest of the post sucks, but for one shining moment, Connor was the master of suspense.

 

[The I Scream Man]

Haha, you guys need to stop acting like I'm some kind of hero for pulling content.

Hey I'll idolize who I want to!

 

[Crisseh]

Please remind me why he's still noted as a "Recovering" lolcow?

Denial.

Should be renamed to "Current / Future lolcow"

 

[Cosmos]

"I really, really hate adoption, you're much better off just getting aborted. I sure am glad I'm not adopted; if I was, I'd hate my adoptive parents and would probably kill them. I just have to question the motives of adoptive parents, you know, they seem like pedophiliac yuppies. Also, I'm scared my excessive masturbating rendered me infertile. I don't want to have to adopt someone else's hand me downs!!!!"