حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Shiala]

Connor fucking HATES Disney movies

Let it go, Connor.

 

[harvey dirdban]

The title of that thread is the most successful thing Connor's ever written. If I saw a link that said "I Think I Found A Lump/Tumor In My...," I'd be horrified, but unable to resist clicking through to see the end of that sentence. The rest of the post sucks, but for one shining moment, Connor was the master of suspense.

"Boys", though.

 

[Strelok]

Can we just stop for a moment and appreciate the majesty of having Robespierre played by fucking Frodo Baggins?

Also something something Molly Ringwold.

 

[Ruin]

So is WrongPlanet full of spergs talking about their junks or is it just Connor?


Never mind I just browsed Wrongplanet for about five minutes and Connor's posts are far from unusual which may be why he hasn't been banned yet.

I hate human beings. I hope we all die out soon and this charade can end, then the rest of the living things on Earth can continue in peace. People are so weak, so stupid, so short-sighted that they will work against their own best interests with a smile on their faces. Humans are the most flawed creatures in existence, possibly the most flawed that ever existed. No other animals are anywhere near so gung-ho on destroying themselves.

And the arrogant morons think that they are the most intelligent species! Because they've made a bunch of unnecessary ideologies and widgets and gadgets, gadgets that poison the Earth with toxic metals, gadgets that save them so much work that they end up out of shape due to inactivity and obese due to their ready-made meals, gadgets meant to save them time, which the rich and powerful then exploit by expecting more time spent working, slaving away to make yet more gadgets. And your convoluted ideologies are nothing but cover-ups and shallow justifications for your base emotions and the revolting actions you take in service of them.

Why is everyone so damned dumb?! There is ALWAYS someone saying something that OBVIOUSLY makes no sense. Why is it so hard for people to think critically? It makes it impossible to talk to anyone. And the horrifying thing is that some don't care that they are dumb. Well, I don't care if you die, you unreflective, brain-dead evolutionarily-regressed ape. There is nothing in you to miss or mourn. Truthfully, you do little more than react, like a common insect; you merely react to a larger range of crap, and your instincts are infinitely worse.

I feel disgusted just by being human. It would make me happy to go to the doctor and be told that I had even a little non-human DNA.


_________________

2edgy4me.

 

[FramerGirl420]

So is WrongPlanet full of spergs talking about their junks or is it just Connor?

It seems as though it is just Connor handing out TMI with absolutely no filter.
But then again, I have never really seen the other users posts aside from what Smutley shared in this thread.
Actually, @Smutley ! During your digging about on WP, have you come across any cringey or wtf posts by the other autists that frequent the site? Or does Connor seem to be a strange awkward fellow even amongst his supposed peers?

 

[Randall Fragg]

So is WrongPlanet full of spergs talking about their junks or is it just Connor?


Never mind I just browsed Wrongplanet for about five minutes and Connor's posts are far from unusual which may be why he hasn't been banned yet.



2edgy4me.

Huh. Apparently the Hatred guy posts on WP.

@Connor why do you believe that humanity was more productive during the European Dark Ages than the Renaissance? Can you defend your position, or is that a failed attempt at edginess?

 

[Meowthkip]

lol what the fuck IS this? I've changed my mind. I want Connor to come back to this thread, and I want him to post at least 1 new movie / story idea every day, complete with who he would cast in the part.

Same.

That shit sounds amazing.

 

[Ryker]

"I really, really hate adoption, you're much better off just getting aborted. I sure am glad I'm not adopted; if I was, I'd hate my adoptive parents and would probably kill them. I just have to question the motives of adoptive parents, you know, they seem like pedophiliac yuppies. Also, I'm scared my excessive masturbating rendered me infertile. I don't want to have to adopt someone else's hand me downs!!!!"

I'd rather have kids of my own in the future rather than someone's handmedowns and leftovers.

I'm adopted, Connor, and was blessed with the most marvellous parents imaginable. I have a very simple retort for you: fuck you. And that is a positive statement.

 

[Hat]

...

Spoiler

View attachment 15542

Who are the biggest Terrorists?

Spoiler

View attachment 15546

I was half-joking earlier, but seriously: where on Earth does Connor stand politically? He certainly seems against the conservative Republican Party, with its generally pro-life views. He also had an "Impeach Obama" page in his Facebook favorites, so I reckon he isn't in the Democratic Party. Another favorite of his was a page in support of Cliven Bundy, which I suppose would put him in the Libertarian Party, but that would involve supporting individual freedoms, such as the right to have a child or to adopt, so that can't be the case.

Actually, I think I have found his political party of choice:

Spoiler

 

[caffeinated_wench]

(fun fact: Connor fucking HATES Disney movies)

 

[MrsFrizzle]

Can we just stop for a moment and appreciate the majesty of having Robespierre played by fucking Frodo Baggins?

Also, "steamy" is the last word that could possibly be applied to Robespierre, who by all accounts was not interested in sex (or friendship or money). There was a reason even people who hated him called him "The Incorruptible."

Bandicoot Cumberbund would be good casting for Robespierre as far as looks go, and ability to play an ice-cold sociopath. Do we think Connor is confusing Robespierre with Danton or St. Just? Or is this some anime version of history I'm too old to know about?

 

[lolwut]

I was half-joking earlier, but seriously: where on Earth does Connor stand politically? He certainly seems against the conservative Republican Party, with its generally pro-life views. He also had an "Impeach Obama" page in his Facebook favorites, so I reckon he isn't in the Democratic Party. Another favorite of his was a page in support of Cliven Bundy, which I suppose would put him in the Libertarian Party, but that would involve supporting individual freedoms, such as the right to have a child or to adopt, so that can't be the case.

Actually, I think I have found his political party of choice:

Spoiler

View attachment 15562

I don't think he actually knows anything about politics, nor has any interest in it. He just spouts off whatever opinion seems the most cynical/edgy at the time.

 

[The Knife]

Can we just stop for a moment and appreciate the majesty of having Robespierre played by fucking Frodo Baggins?

Also something something Molly Ringwold.

If I squint, I can just see Elijah Wood as Robespierre. They have the same really broad forehead and short, boxy jaw. If Wood has the acting chops to pull off the character is another matter.

I too am really curious about how the Dark Ages were more advanced than the Renaissance. Tell us more, Connor.

 

[Ti-99/4A]

He Really needs to get together with Holden. Holden thought ancient Greece was the best most productive time in history iirc.

 

[Locksnap]

I too am really curious about how the Dark Ages were more advanced than the Renaissance. Tell us more, Connor.

As if Connor knows even basic facts about either. He doesn't have the attention span to read the noir novels he loves so much, I can't seem him cracking open a history book any time soon.

 

[Hat]

Connor wouldn't last in the Dark Ages; he can hardly last in the modern times.

 

[Handsome Pete]

I too am really curious about how the Dark Ages were more advanced than the Renaissance. Tell us more, Connor.

Hey, humanity as a whole made some pretty impressive strides during the Dark Ages. Just not in western Europe. In the Middle East, they were naming the stars and developing mathematical concepts that are still taught today. In China, they were inventing the first firearms, among other feats of engineering. Egypt became a hub of commerce between Asia, Africa, and southern Europe - the wealth accumulated by Italian traders would eventually fund the Renaissance. Meanwhile, far to the north, the Vikings built a society far more "civilized" than many of their conquests, and crossed the Atlantic 400 years before Columbus.

But I doubt Connor knows any of that (although good for him if he does!). He just knows shit got edgy as fuck in one part of Europe, what with the plagues and torture chambers and shit.

 

[Descent]

I was half-joking earlier, but seriously: where on Earth does Connor stand politically? He certainly seems against the conservative Republican Party, with its generally pro-life views. He also had an "Impeach Obama" page in his Facebook favorites, so I reckon he isn't in the Democratic Party. Another favorite of his was a page in support of Cliven Bundy, which I suppose would put him in the Libertarian Party, but that would involve supporting individual freedoms, such as the right to have a child or to adopt, so that can't be the case.

He's COMPLEX. Just like his parents.

Like a goddamn rubix cube he is.

 

[TM Ambrose]

I...I... I can't say anything that isn't a-loggish at this point. Seriously what is this guys deal with adoption. I mean, does he take the running "You were adopted" joke and take it seriously? I have no idea what to say about this.

 

[Obnoxion]

Alright. Starting tonight, I'm going to undertake a challenge. I'm going to delete my Facebook account and turn off the Wi-Fi capability of my computer, only using the Internet to check my e-mails, doing research and completing online homework assignments. Other than that, I'm going to be working on my resume and my fiction writing. Sound good?

B-but the attention we have to offer... Are you sure you don't want to stay a little longer and have some more of it? It feels great, and doesn't cost you anything! Have mercy, Connie, whoever will we give it to when you're gone?

We are but a crowd of people on the internet. Your last message is how we know you'll fail. I hope you can connect the dots and figure out why.