Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Isabelle]

Does homegorl know about Prime Pantry? Ubereats/Grubhub/Postmates/Whatever might not be able to reach her all the way out there in Monticello, but I’ll bet Amazon can. Sure, it takes 2 days to arrive after placing an order, but that seems like a small sacrifice to obtain a big ass box of snacks to appease the Bingeadook.

 

[Xenomorph]

Aren’t those also eating stains around her mouth?

they are there for years, too.

 

[Lilac_loud]

Do you really see AL monitoring her blood pressure? She didn't. She stopped taking the pill because she wanted to, plain and simple. She did measure her blood pressure every once in a while at the mall or something (could very well be Walgreen's) and wouldn't you know?

There is no way in hell she could get that huge ham hock into one of the bp cuffs at Walgreens. It would have to be taken manually and I can’t see Hamfatlynn knowing how to do that.

Edit: because dumb ass Siri tried to 2nd guess me again.

 

[clusterfuckk]

There is no way in hell she could get that huge hammock into one of the bp cuffs At Walgreens. It would have to be taken manually and I can’t see Hamfatlynn knowing how to do that

She probably took it using her forearm. With arms the size of hers I am not sure the reading would be accurate anyway.

 

[Strawberry Pocky]

Does homegorl know about Prime Pantry? Ubereats/Grubhub/Postmates/Whatever might not be able to reach her all the way out there in Monticello, but I’ll bet Amazon can. Sure, it takes 2 days to arrive after placing an order, but that seems like a small sacrifice to obtain a big ass box of snacks to appease the Bingeadook.

She and Beggy have already done that once, with their big box of "JARPERNAYSE SNERKS!" that neither of them could read or pronounce.
Whether she's aware or not of all the different sorts of snack boxes and websites dedicated to ordering/posting junk food around the globe, they have at least stumbled their way one time onto that Amazon box of Japanese food. Maybe she'll be forced to put 2 and 2 together and realize she can order food remotely after she becomes properly bedbound and no longer has a choice.

Heck, she loves that ugly Trisha Paytas bag and those dumb Ipsy makeup club things so much. I wonder if she knows that there's MULTIPLE monthly snack boxes out there she could subscribe to. Even plenty of Japanese ones (like JapanCrate and KawaiiBox) so she and Begster can indulge in their love of middle school tier anime Jayr-per-neez Culchurr!

 

[ADHD]

She probably took it using her forearm. With arms the size of hers I am not sure the reading would be accurate anyway.

Here's a screencap showing the device she used.

 

[Whatthefuck]

Here's a screencap showing the device she used.
View attachment 956696

So a completely inaccurate contraption that as placed on her ham hock incorrectly. Got it.

 

[L. Ron Hubbard's Cat]

So a completely inaccurate contraption that as placed on her ham hock incorrectly. Got it.

This just hammers home the First Law of ALR: The answer to any question about anything she's ever said, done, or implied is always breathtakingly stupid.

Always.

 

[vanilla_pepsi_head]

She and Beggy have already done that once, with their big box of "JARPERNAYSE SNERKS!" that neither of them could read or pronounce.
Whether she's aware or not of all the different sorts of snack boxes and websites dedicated to ordering/posting junk food around the globe, they have at least stumbled their way one time onto that Amazon box of Japanese food. Maybe she'll be forced to put 2 and 2 together and realize she can order food remotely after she becomes properly bedbound and no longer has a choice.

Heck, she loves that ugly Trisha Paytas bag and those dumb Ipsy makeup club things so much. I wonder if she knows that there's MULTIPLE monthly snack boxes out there she could subscribe to. Even plenty of Japanese ones (like JapanCrate and KawaiiBox) so she and Begster can indulge in their love of middle school tier anime Jayr-per-neez Culchurr!

Amber probably *could* get food delivery but I doubt she will because it's literally her only excuse to leave the house. Kind of like how old people will make a whole afternoon of every errand and spread them all out because they are trying to keep themselves busy. It's also pretty expensive but I doubt she cares about that.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

She probably took it using her forearm. With arms the size of hers I am not sure the reading would be accurate anyway.

I is a big dude. Powerlevel be fucked. But Hamber is two plus maybe three of me. There is no way in hell she can get an accurate blood pressure reading without a gi-huged cuff. That ain't at Walgreens or Womart on a station built for "normal" peeps.

Lisinopril should be her friend. It's mine.
(Unmandatory disclosure that dropping 70 ellbees and still heading down has helped get the BP in check.)

I worry for our gorl (sorta) because she can't achieve one single, solitary thang to continue "leevin her bestest life."

We are all morbid as fuck watching this Hamplanet sit-shee-a-shun actually kill herself for da lolz.

Don't get me wrong. Wouldn't even be posting if I didn't have the same morbid fascination.

Carry on....

 

[sperginity]

So a completely inaccurate contraption that as placed on her ham hock incorrectly. Got it.

that type of at home BP monitor is intended to be worn on the wrist. Most pharmacies sell them next to all the other at home testing shit (mostly glucometers).

 

[FatFuckingClown]

I is a big dude. Powerlevel be fucked. But Hamber is two plus maybe three of me. There is no way in hell she can get an accurate blood pressure reading without a gi-huged cuff. That ain't at Walgreens or Womart on a station built for "normal" peeps.

Lisinopril should be her friend. It's mine.
(Unmandatory disclosure that dropping 70 ellbees and still heading down has helped get the BP in check.)

I worry for our gorl (sorta) because she can't achieve one single, solitary thang to continue "leevin her bestest life."

We are all morbid as fuck watching this Hamplanet sit-shee-a-shun actually kill herself for da lolz.

Don't get me wrong. Wouldn't even be posting if I didn't have the same morbid fascination.

Carry on....

Thank you for your courage. You’re what is referred to as a Cuddly-American on the consensus. You will be warm this winter. Rejoice.

She’s referred to as A Forcible Removal & Arrest From The Hometown Buffet.

AKA: the reigning heavyweight contender to the now proven-to-be-fabled “all u can eat” slogan at several local eateries.

 

[Strawberry Pocky]

I worry for our gorl (sorta) because she can't achieve one single, solitary thang to continue "leevin her bestest life."

We are all morbid as fuck watching this Hamplanet sit-shee-a-shun actually kill herself for da lolz.

Don't get me wrong. Wouldn't even be posting if I didn't have the same morbid fascination.

I would consider it "morbid" if ALR was actually suffering with genuine binge eating disorder (she isn't) and is she has ever actually tried to get better or improve her life (she hasn't) and/or she was in any way, shape, or form even the slightest bit even a little way a good or kind person (she's not.)
If any of the above were true, then we would all be ASSHOLES for watching and laughing at a 600lb woman slowly die, because she wouldn't really be deserving of all the scorn.

But, like 1315 pages have stood the test of time to prove, she IS a horrible, rancid cunt with a foul personality who has done everything to herself for 28 years to get herself here and has never once tried even the easiest things to change or improve her "sitchyayshun" It's her own fault and her disgusting vortex of abuse and manipulation sucks in all the other fat speds around her too. So....fuck her. lmao.

PS: congrats on improving your life.

 

[L. Ron Hubbard's Cat]

If any of the above were true, then we would all be ASSHOLES for watching and laughing at a 600lb woman slowly die, because she

Well... I mean... we're definitely assholes. Maybe ALR isn't the sole determining factor in that, but let's not lose sight of the fact that posting here is something we should probably all mention in Confession now and then.

That said, just because we're assholes doesn't mean we're wrong. Besides, there's nothing wrong with being an asshole from time to time. Probably. #assholelivesmatter

 

[Xenomorph]

Thank you for your courage. You’re what is referred to as a Cuddly-American on the consensus. You will be warm this winter. Rejoice.

She’s referred to as A Forcible Removal & Arrest From The Hometown Buffet.

AKA: the reigning heavyweight contender to the now proven-to-be-fabled “all u can eat” slogan at several local eateries.

Imma junji ito your holes bb

AL may be a failure at her own life but she is helping strangers improve theirs.

 

[Wyzzerd]

The only redeeming factor of her life is for others to point at her and say "Whatever happens, don't do what she did."

Schools should use her videos to scare the little ones away from lives of gluttony and terminal laziness.

 

[mekalekahi]

 

[Xenomorph]

Oh how sweet, your leech gorlfriend got you flowers with your money.

Im sure that was in addition to McDicks.

 

[a bootiful jung woman]

Oh how sweet, your leech gorlfriend got you flowers with your money.

Im sure that was in addition to McDicks.
View attachment 957482

Gotta keep Al loved up now that Destiny's around. There's no common law marriage to lean on so keep those flowers and footrubs coming gorl.

 

[Snusmumriken]

I’m genuinely relieved to see these photos. I was so scared that their relationship might be struggling, but now I am completely reassured that Amber and Becky do in fact love each other and Amber is not longing for her ex, whose relationship with her is actually 100% platonic.

In related news, scientists have discovered that pigs can fly! What a time to be alive.