GREAT session of extended Minecraft the other day with a LOT of progress. In the opening minutes, Phil receives $25 from a fan, which is
acknowledged with a deadpan tone of voice, and immediately followed with an upbeat reminder that there is still plenty of time for others to trump that with a larger tip. Talk about gratitude. As it turns out, Phil receives only $16 more in the ensuing five hours. He received the most money from the pre-stream ($46), which felt delayed and dragged on for an eternity. Clearly Phil had great expectations for this extended bizarro session of Minecraft - which, if you can believe it - was streamed during the daytime! The hype for this rare event was generated all week long, promoted several times daily. As mid-break was approaching, Phil (realizing the tips had dried up) took a vote from the chat to see if he should switch to the Genesis Mini. He was scrutinizing for a significant number of "yes" votes, but was essentially forced to continue playing Minecraft. He made out with
$87 in tips, but a lot in cheers (Mr.Papaveraceae alone cheered 41 times). Ultimately the special event was a boring flop.
The first action was to collect buckets of lava for the continued construction of the recent boring pointless Mr.Papaveraceae building project. Instead of simply collecting lava from inside the nearby gorge, Phil achieved this the backasswards way of mining straight into down into the ground from inside a cave system. One minute following his usual bragging about Minecraft being one of his longest running playthroughs, he asks chat if bedrock can be broken, and how to gather lava using a bucket. Following a viewer's advice to be cautious around the lava, Phil proceeds to
accidentally throw his diamond enchanted sword into it, destroying it. Ear rape and unfunny clownmode was the reaction, followed by Phil blaming the game, and then a bunch of money rolled in to satiate his woes.
The next action was to continue work on the recent boring pointless Mr.Papaveraceae building project. Sad to say Mr.Papa was
letting the team down this week, as he took sometimes upwards to two minutes to respond with clarifications and instructions. Once again, Phil was
too busy to check out the dedicated Minecraft forum created from scratch by Mr.Papa full of illustrated tutorials just for Phil's usage, and indeed Phil was also too busy to check his own forums where Mr.Papa posted the same shit for double-convenience. Some kind soul informed me this morning that the multi-week project Mr.Papa is guiding Phil to create is
exactly the same blueprints to a system PewDiePie (arch-nemesis) made. Perhaps Mr.Papa is a 4D chess galaxy-brain, and is setting things up for the troll prank of the century?
Following that, Phil trekked to home base to enchant a fresh set of diamond tools following the unfortunate incident when "the game" threw them into lava. This marks the second consecutive week in a row where the 41 levels of XP were completely blown and the last of the diamond stock wasted to recover from two preventable mistakes. If only DipShitPhil had the sense to use the XP continuously instead of
hoarding them pointlessly. As Phil was about to set out on the journey to the home base, he was met with an inexplicable problem with his Xbox One controller where the right thumbstick caused the game to spin in place. Thought to be the cause of a bad battery, Phil solved the issue by producing another Xbox One controller that hadn't been used in six years. Remarkably, the new controller felt "as if it had never been used", and the problem was resolved. Although promising to search for the spare controller during the mid-break, Phil did not live to his promise and was AFK for a few minutes when he returned as a few hundred viewers waited patiently.
The cause of the mysterious controller damage cannot be explained, and my noticing that Phil was violently shaking and gripping the controller less than an hour following the problem is likely a coincidence. The man sure does go through a lot of game controllers... I noticed some very aggressive mashing of buttons on the Sega Genesis primary controller on unboxing night as well within the hour that it was reported to be damaged.
To end the stream, Phil made a return trek to the "villager outpost" to begin construction on the previous weeks top paypig's request; which is to build a garage extension to the 'Condo of Stench'. He began the foundation with timber slabs, to later learn (re-learn) that you cannot place blocks flat on top of these slabs, as they float above them. Phil has made this error a minimum of three times in both his Minecraft runs, he continuously needs to be reminded how to do basic things in the game.
Beyond these events, there were two fishing excursions where "he got to chill". Lots of inventory management, lots of standing completely stationary for prolonged periods of time, lots of off-topic discussion, and lots of routine reminders of the current top tipper. For me, the stream felt more sleep-inducing than usual, but I find myself thinking that every week now, so perhaps it's an illusion of sorts, like how you feel you are making forward progression walking on a treadmill. For four hours of gameplay, only a very small amount of meaningful progression was had. It was much like a standard two-hour stream stretched to fill four-hours of time. Just time-wasting nonsense. Punishing his viewers with boring gameplay perhaps as an indirect means to communicate that tipping would energize him to be more productive and exciting. There were a few revealing moments when Phil explained that for him
the whole Minecraft run was about "interaction", and the gameplay takes a backseat. When informed about my analysis of previous weeks, he responded that
"we're all having fun". This stream marked the premiere of the "Halloween festivities", meaning that Phil adjusted the facecam and donation leaderboard border to be orange-tinted, two new garbage animated donation messages were added, and the facecam backdrop with dressed with about $10 (being generous) of Halloween decorations. Reminder that the Halloween decorations were a stretch sub-goal, so I'm thankful there was a marked improvement from the previous year's festivities. Phil spent some time being sour at PewDiePie during this session as usual for
attracting a young audience by acting like a child playing Minecraft. Despite being surrounded by stuffed animal toys, and Muppeting it up every 10 minutes in order to extract money from his faceless ageless viewership.
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Ask the King Minecraft Q&A [9:42]
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I'll openly admit I'm afraid of The Nether // bragging
[1] [2]
Fair suggestions immediately discarded
[1] [2]
To see if it works.
I see no reason to stop.
People seem to really like this.
Overwhelmingly positive response
[1] [2]
Interview with a detractor
[1] [2]
Sissy girl woke response
[1] [2]
Cancel paid subscription services suggestion.
Why do you produce videos you would not watch yourself?
Dream Yusuke stream snipes DSP during Street Fighter.
#ReleaseTheTrolls
bigsloppymeat unfathomable kindness.
Ban everyone.
Flubs and goat laughs.
Miscellaneous:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45]
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