Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

I really hope there's still room for time travel and the space anus to show up in this movie. I'm very disappointed it wasn't central to the plot like the early leaks because it would've made this movie even more hilariously bad. Or the supposed ending where they win and beat the First Order by making a radio broadcast to the galaxy which reaches Kennedy and Lucas as kids in the real world. I want to see some laughably hilarious shit go down even though I know I'm in for a good one.
I still feel like time travel bullshit could be used in IX at some point. I mean why else would Disney-Lucasfilm keep reminding us that time travel exists in their new media for the past year or so to the point where it will be making a comeback in the upcoming Resistance cartoon whose finale is supposed to be "essential" to IX?
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Unless Disney-Lucasfilm really has no idea what they're doing and this time anus shit is just them throwing ideas against the wall to see what sticks or as part of some "epic" Endgame-tier shit where they use time travel for a big shitty SW crossover between the PT, OT and Disney Trilogy. Maybe Nu-Luke will say some bullshit about time being an illusion and the fleet of ships that show up on Exogol with every ship from the movies are there because of time travel shit courtesy of Ahsoka or Space Aladdin.
 
I really hope there's still room for time travel and the space anus to show up in this movie. I'm very disappointed it wasn't central to the plot like the early leaks because it would've made this movie even more hilariously bad. Or the supposed ending where they win and beat the First Order by making a radio broadcast to the galaxy which reaches Kennedy and Lucas as kids in the real world. I want to see some laughably hilarious shit go down even though I know I'm in for a good one.
I was rooting for the radio broadcast ending just so we could get edits of George turning the radio on then after two words turning the radio off. That and it would just be weird to have the real world mixed in with Star Wars canon. Did the EU even go there? It is technically a galaxy far, far away and a long time ago: did someone write a story about some Rebels landing on a young planet Earth?

Pondering it some more, what if they had the broadcast reach someone from the MCU just to say fuck it and connect everything together. I could see Thor sitting on the Guardian's ship saying they should go help out, and the raccoon (it's Rocket isn't it) telling him to ignore it. It's just some radio space opera people keep running.

Or they go for max woke points and have Captain Marvel intercept the signal in space.

Oh to have the power to crash a franchise with no survivors.
 
I was rooting for the radio broadcast ending just so we could get edits of George turning the radio on then after two words turning the radio off.
As it should be.

That and it would just be weird to have the real world mixed in with Star Wars canon. Did the EU even go there? It is technically a galaxy far, far away and a long time ago: did someone write a story about some Rebels landing on a young planet Earth?
I practically wrote a freaking essay about this shit 25 pages ago.

The short answer is that there were writers who did want to connect the real world and SW's world but their stories rightfully got canned (although the second story would've been fine in itself if they just removed the real world connection and a few answered questions that didn't need to be answered). So the official (pre-Disney shit) explanation is that humans came from either Coruscant or Tatooine.

As for the "long time ago" narration, it was supposedly part of an early idea from ANH's conception period where the opening was originally going to be told from the perspective of the droids in the future.

Years later this idea would be adapted in the early 2000s via a comic that was released in Dark Horse's SW Tales series which contained canon, non-canon and ambiguously canon stories. One story in particular fell under "ambiguous" that takes place an unknown number of centuries in the future, maybe even more/uncountable. In this story that takes place on a primitive world, we see a duo of enslaved alien children wandering away from their ruined village and hide out in cave where they seek out "The Storyteller" who is none other than the decaying and broken remains of C-3PO...
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C-3PO has lost pretty much everything, including his sight. His only possession is Luke's lightsaber. The local village referred to him as "The Storyteller", an ancient relic who would share with you "stories" and "fairy tales" from a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.
1570085229624.png

Upon telling the children the tale of his friends and many adventures, they are skeptical but inspired nonetheless, but it would be the last story 3PO would ever tell as they were then found by the overlords of the slave children. The older child warned his brother to flee while he tried to hold back the aliens, but his efforts were for naught, as they proceeded to destroy the droid and kill the older alien child trying to protect his brother and 3PO.
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The surviving child would then use C-3PO's story and Luke's lightsaber to give him the courage and hope he needed to fight for freedom...
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I really enjoyed Star Wars Tales. The story that comes to mind sort of connecting Star Wars to our world is a story in which Han and Chewie crash land on an unknown planet and Han is killed. Many years later Indiana Jones finds the wreckage and Chewie has essentially become Bigfoot. Very silly, but fun because it wasn't meant to be canon.
 
The absolute state of the (((((media))))).

Polygon;
1570089264444.png


Gizmodo;
1570089325063.png

1570089384173.png


Collider;
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The Mary Sue;
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We live in an age of infantilization, gentlemen. Adorable, cute, BABU FRIK BABU FRIK BABU FRIK BABU FRIK WE STAN BABU FRIK. Funnily enough, the comment sections aren't having any of it;
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Sources;
https://www.polygon.com/star-wars/2019/10/2/20895342/babu-frik-star-wars-rise-of-skywalker
https://io9.gizmodo.com/just-look-at-the-rise-of-skywalkers-adorably-weird-new-1838704756
https://collider.com/star-wars-9-image-babu-frik/
https://www.themarysue.com/i-love-you-babu-frik/
 
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Iger will probably be ousted if episode 9 bombs.

Eisner at this point had less failures and people's grievances were that he was erasing classic disney.

Daily Reminder that Iger is leaving no matter what. He was supposed to be out in March, agreed to stay on till june to guide the merger, then took another contract extension. Disney has been asking him to stay.

edit: sauce
 
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Didn't they spend the entire show budget in three episodes or something like that?
Yeah the previous showrunners wasted the entire budget on the first 3 episodes and the feedback from the focus groups were close to 15% of approval.

The absolute state of the (((((media))))).
Do these people really fall for those marketing tricks? I mean the design of the Porgs was soulless and if I were the target audience I would feel insulted.

porgs.jpg

Babu is just Crazy Frog but with cat features. There's nothing appealing.
 
Daily Reminder that Iger is leaving no matter what. He was supposed to be out in March, agreed to stay on till june to guide the merger, then took another contract extension. Disney has been asking him to stay.
Yup, Iger has clearly been wanting out for awhile.
 
It never even occurred to me that this Babu Frik alien is supposed to be cute. I had to check back a few pages because I already forgot what it looks like. It looks like... nothing. It's a wrinkled human face with most of the features removed and what's left has been crushed together. It's so bland I can barely describe it. It leaves me with no emotion or curiosity about it's lore whatsoever. Was this design supposed to blow me away or something? Were the journalists just too eager to shill for the movie and misinterpreted what was intended by the design?

Edit: I bet he doesn't even have a squeaky voice.
 
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I still feel like time travel bullshit could be used in IX at some point. I mean why else would Disney-Lucasfilm keep reminding us that time travel exists in their new media for the past year or so to the point where it will be making a comeback in the upcoming Resistance cartoon whose finale is supposed to be "essential" to IX?
View attachment 957431
Unless Disney-Lucasfilm really has no idea what they're doing and this time anus shit is just them throwing ideas against the wall to see what sticks or as part of some "epic" Endgame-tier shit where they use time travel for a big shitty SW crossover between the PT, OT and Disney Trilogy. Maybe Nu-Luke will say some bullshit about time being an illusion and the fleet of ships that show up on Exogol with every ship from the movies are there because of time travel shit courtesy of Ahsoka or Space Aladdin.

If I had to guess: the force flash/time travel stuff probably was in a draft for 9.

To the point, there was probably concept art for it. It may have gotten axxed or scaled down as the script went through re-writes...

I just remember MSW was describing it fairly vivdly, at one point. It lead me to believe thats where they were going with it....

But, things change...

I would say the leaks are probably 70 percent accurate. It's a bit different than the GOT leak which were a series of bullet points..

The leaks, currently, are jumbled mess. So, I'm thinking key info is missing...
 
My guess is that if time travel factors in at all it will be during the force flashing saber fight. I assume they might flash into the Death Star in a new hope or maybe onto hoth during empire. Something simple like that that has no impact on the universe but gives a nice squeeze of the memberberries
 
The absolute state of the (((((media))))).

Polygon;
View attachment 957483

Gizmodo;
View attachment 957485
View attachment 957487

Collider;
View attachment 957488

The Mary Sue;
View attachment 957504

We live in an age of infantilization, gentlemen. Adorable, cute, BABU FRIK BABU FRIK BABU FRIK BABU FRIK WE STAN BABU FRIK. Funnily enough, the comment sections aren't having any of it;
View attachment 957498

Sources;
https://www.polygon.com/star-wars/2019/10/2/20895342/babu-frik-star-wars-rise-of-skywalker
https://io9.gizmodo.com/just-look-at-the-rise-of-skywalkers-adorably-weird-new-1838704756
https://collider.com/star-wars-9-image-babu-frik/
https://www.themarysue.com/i-love-you-babu-frik/

At this point they should just be saying CONSUME CONSUME CONSUME USELESS JUNK DON'T THINK CONSUME

Because wow a fucking rat alien. Woop de fucking doo. How much did Disney pay them to suck off this thing's dick in a fluff piece?
 
As it should be.


I practically wrote a freaking essay about this shit 25 pages ago.

The short answer is that there were writers who did want to connect the real world and SW's world but their stories rightfully got canned (although the second story would've been fine in itself if they just removed the real world connection and a few answered questions that didn't need to be answered). So the official (pre-Disney shit) explanation is that humans came from either Coruscant or Tatooine.

As for the "long time ago" narration, it was supposedly part of an early idea from ANH's conception period where the opening was originally going to be told from the perspective of the droids in the future.

Years later this idea would be adapted in the early 2000s via a comic that was released in Dark Horse's SW Tales series which contained canon, non-canon and ambiguously canon stories. One story in particular fell under "ambiguous" that takes place an unknown number of centuries in the future, maybe even more/uncountable. In this story that takes place on a primitive world, we see a duo of enslaved alien children wandering away from their ruined village and hide out in cave where they seek out "The Storyteller" who is none other than the decaying and broken remains of C-3PO...
View attachment 957455View attachment 957450View attachment 957453
C-3PO has lot pretty much everything, including his sight. His only possession is Luke's lightsaber. The local village referred to him as "The Storyteller", an ancient relic who would share with you "stories" and "fairy tales" from a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.

Upon telling the children the tale of his friends and many adventures, they are skeptical but inspired nonetheless, but it would be the last story 3PO would ever tell as they were then found by the overlords of the slave children. The older child warned his brother to flee while he tried to hold back the aliens, but his efforts were for naught, as they proceeded to destroy the droid and kill the older alien child trying to protect his brother and 3PO.
View attachment 957461
The surviving child would then use 3PO's story and Luke's saber to give him the courage he needed to fight for freedom.
Here I will illustrate the difference between NuWars and the old Star Wars:
I never read this comic, yet I still felt something looking at it, a mild sense of sadness. Because I still care about Star Wars. Seeing any Sequel character in that state, I would feel nothing because there was nothing that made me emotionally relate to them. C-3P0 is a robot, but he's still more human than Rey will ever be: he's a person with flaws and fears and all of that. And thus I feel empathy for seeing his rotted husk sitting in a cave, passing stories to tell the time.
 
My guess is that if time travel factors in at all it will be during the force flashing saber fight. I assume they might flash into the Death Star in a new hope or maybe onto hoth during empire. Something simple like that that has no impact on the universe but gives a nice squeeze of the memberberries
Might as well be that the original plan was to have images of the past flash up in the background during a fight, as to invoke memberberry feels and leakers mistook that as time travel.

But you have to give it to Disney, they really are something new. They have to commit to Ruin Johnson due to their image, but they need to get the old fans back and they need a new villain, so they dig up Palpatine, but out of sheer coincidence, we have a couple articles from the usual suspects about how we can't quite surely know if Plapy is dead (after all, we only saw him fall down a bottomless shaft and explode into a massive cloud of plasma, who knows if he's truly dead, eh? Just to butter up the audiences for this ridiculous asspull. Wait and watch how many will regurgitate the "Luke nevuh checked whether Palpatine was dead or not! So he didn't die!" rhetoric.
And of course, these writers shat on Luke for not checking and verifying Palpy's death... And now that Plapy is back... they make him a joke by releasing a comic about his sugarmommy running the show from the sidelines, cause apparently, Palpatine just really fucking sucks at this politics game all of a sudden.

Seems to me, there's some infighting between different writers at Disney. Some brought back Palpatine out of necessity since a lot of fans like him, but others really dislike everything Star Wars, so they have to shit on that character and invalidate him... I mean, why would you bring back a fan favorite to pander to fans while also shitting on him at the same time? I bet there's a few guys who do things pragmatically and they want to pander to the old fans and a couple dangerhairs that want to turn SW into whatever it is they want it to be.
 
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