Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

All I can say from this is though my hopes for a good Star Wars movie has long since dried up, the circus from the fuckup after fuckup has been some of the greatest entertainment in a very long time as I am one who loves to analyze business disasters. Given the trajectory of ROS, I honestly hope we get some leaked stuff about the many production problems as we did with Fant4stic as I honestly believe hearing all the production problems are going to be far better and more entertaining than the film itself.
 
I know this is late but still... jesus fuck I totally forgot that Star Wars has been dead for years by now

The free market is sexist. Ban freedom.

Dude. Unnamed Canto Bight Metermaid #2 was more significant for the story, cause they caught Finn and Rose for a parking violation.

It's absolutely shameful to watch these phonies stumble over one another to proclaim Rose as the focal point of the entire trilogy as if she wasn't the single most unlikeable, useless and worthless character in SW history (and that's a feat in and of itself).

JMac just seems like the apex homo contrarian grifter, but the amount of content he puts out is proportional to the monetary return. I appreciate a man who sticks to his niche.

So how many new characters are they introducing in this film again?

One billion Skywalkers.

Resistance as a political meme (IN THE US) predates Trump

Trump is the lightning rod. He's driven woke media pundits and political activists to utter spastic desperation. Everything is his fault because I hate him because everything is his fault because Hillary should've won.
 
It was a bold choice on the side of the makers to wait for the last movie to actually give the trilogy a plot, that's for sure.
Yes, this is something wild to think about. Comparing where the plot was in VI to where it is now in IX is like two different worlds. What characters needed to be introduced in VI that were crucial to the story? Ackbar? Ewok who stays with his dead comrade?
I'm not saying Ackbar wasn't important or a good part of the film, but look at the list of people introduced in IX that are going to be important to the plot. If we were going in blind we still wouldn't be one hundred percent on who the main antagonist is going to be. Was there any wild cards or new introductions in VI at all?
 
Yes, this is something wild to think about. Comparing where the plot was in VI to where it is now in IX is like two different worlds. What characters needed to be introduced in VI that were crucial to the story? Ackbar? Ewok who stays with his dead comrade?
I'm not saying Ackbar wasn't important or a good part of the film, but look at the list of people introduced in IX that are going to be important to the plot. If we were going in blind we still wouldn't be one hundred percent on who the main antagonist is going to be. Was there any wild cards or new introductions in VI at all?

Also there is a time skip dont forget
 
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Imma be honest, Klaud turning in to a latter day pepe is legit making me feel some hype.

Not about the movie of course, but at the idea its going to cause whiny wittle wendig to have a nervous breakdown at his precious OC child becoming an official nazi hate symbol.
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Yes, this is something wild to think about. Comparing where the plot was in VI to where it is now in IX is like two different worlds. What characters needed to be introduced in VI that were crucial to the story? Ackbar? Ewok who stays with his dead comrade?
I'm not saying Ackbar wasn't important or a good part of the film, but look at the list of people introduced in IX that are going to be important to the plot. If we were going in blind we still wouldn't be one hundred percent on who the main antagonist is going to be. Was there any wild cards or new introductions in VI at all?
There's something even more amazing, which we can only truly analyze once IX has hit theatres pirate bay:
Is watching TLJ even necessary? Given how pretty much all plots achieve nothing, my hunch is that this will become a trilogy where you can skip the middle movie without missing any major plot points (well, one exception: You need to know that Luke died).
When they introduce Palpatine in such a way that they pretty much explain Snoke as being a mere Palpatine puppet, they might actually create a situation where the death of the major villain of 2 of those 3 movies becomes an irrelevant plot point. If one of the first things they bring up is Palpatine being the puppet master behind Snoke, you could skip TLJ and his death and just assume that he was phased out in between movies, cause Palpatine no longer had a need for him.
Compare that to IV and the OT. Imagine you wouldn't have seen "Empire Strikes Back", you would have no fucking clue what the fuck is going on in ROTJ.
Han is a slab of concrete, Luke is missing his hand and suddenly has Daddy issues, he's going back to talk to some green guy in a hut on a swamp planet and Obi Wan shows up as a ghost. You'll eventually puzzle together the missing parts more or less, but boy oh boy, will you be blindsided by a lot.
IX? Not so much, we already can tell that most of TLJ are not going to mean much in the trilogy.

This is a two-fold failure, not only does the middle part of the trilogy waste its entire runtime with ineffectual wheel-spinning that achieves nothing, but they also create a plot that makes it necessary to introduce a shitton of new characters for no good reason. Why don't they bring up Yellow Yoda again? Why do they need a General "Wyte" Pryde? Why do they need a dollar-store Boba Fett, janitor-sister, Klaud, Wedge and all these other chucklefucks?
It's madness.

At least we get Klaud memes.
Thank you based Klaud.
 
She is the Mandalorian character from the Rebels TV show that Space Aladdin thirst over. She had different Tumblr hair in each season.
No, the Rebels character is one Sabine Wren, another insufferable dangerhair with 'tude. This Vi Moradi creeping around the parks like a racist caricature has nothing to do with Mandalore or the cartoon gal.

Hold the phone, folks - Disney has a clever ruse to make back the revenue they lost on the back of the nu-movies;
1570551284156.png
 
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No, the Rebels character is one Sabine Wren, another insufferable dangerhair with 'tude. This Vi Moradi creeping around the parks like a racist caricature has nothing to do with Mandalore or the cartoon gal.

Hold the phone, folks - Disney has a clever ruse to make back the revenue they lost on the back of the nu-movies;
View attachment 963673
....four hundred dollarydoos...for a dutch oven?
y2h16R6.jpg
 
No, the Rebels character is one Sabine Wren, another insufferable dangerhair with 'tude. This Vi Moradi creeping around the parks like a racist caricature has nothing to do with Mandalore or the cartoon gal.

Hold the phone, folks - Disney has a clever ruse to make back the revenue they lost on the back of the nu-movies;
View attachment 963673

The Porg pie bird utterly pisses me off to no end.

The franchise is so woke they can only sell a white man they hate (aka Han Solo) in his most vulnerable state for $450 knowing nobody will buy that.
 
The Porg pie bird utterly pisses me off to no end.

The franchise is so woke they can only sell a white man they hate (aka Han Solo) in his most vulnerable state for $450 knowing nobody will buy that.
The only porg pie I wanna see is a porg creampie
Ok I couldnt find a porg creampie porn pic so enjoy this instead
2590490%20-%20Rey%20Star_Wars%20The_Last_Jedi%20porg.jpg
 
Hold the phone, folks - Disney has a clever ruse to make back the revenue they lost on the back of the nu-movies;
1570551284156.png
I can't get over how shitty these products are. Say what you want, some Disney Exec went on Alibaba, found these cheap chinese cash-in fake merch articles and while hammering the number to the Disney legal department into his phone he stopped, looked at the prices of 4 dollars a piece for a Han Solo dutch oven, and instead dialed the marketing department to buy up all stock of that shit asap. That's my headcanon, anyway.
 
No, the Rebels character is one Sabine Wren, another insufferable dangerhair with 'tude. This Vi Moradi creeping around the parks like a racist caricature has nothing to do with Mandalore or the cartoon gal.

Hold the phone, folks - Disney has a clever ruse to make back the revenue they lost on the back of the nu-movies;
View attachment 963673
I just can't envision someone who buys this tacky shit.

Even a 'fan girl' would probably leave it to plush dolls and knickknacks. This is expensive cookery, sold largely on gimmick. Is it even of quality?

Please, someone show me the idiot who buys this crap? They must be found, and catalogued for research...

I think even Steven Sansweet would show restraint..
 
Imma be honest, Klaud turning in to a latter day pepe is legit making me feel some hype.

Not about the movie of course, but at the idea its going to cause whiny wittle wendig to have a nervous breakdown at his precious OC child becoming an official nazi hate symbol.
1570316751889.png
They need to find a way to add Based Klaud's bro Snap Wexley into the memes too for maximum Chuck Wendig anal devastation.
Please, someone show me the idiot who buys this crap?
Novelty gifts. It gets bought as a joke for your wine aunt who's seen Star Wars once or twice and never gets used because said wine aunt already has superior quality products.
 
They need to find a way to add Based Klaud's bro Snap Wexley into the memes too for maximum Chuck Wendig anal devastation.

Novelty gifts. It gets bought as a joke for your wine aunt who's seen Star Wars once or twice and never gets used because said wine aunt already has superior quality products.

For almost 500 dollars, that's not a novelty. That's an investment. Fuck my aunt, I'll get her a toy for 20 dollars as a joke.
 
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