Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

I call this piece "Star Wars is Fucking Dead"

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"Milking Every Last Drop of a Franchise"

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"Desire to Consume Product Intensifies"

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"Ryan Cut Snoke's Backstory and the Knights of Ren for This"

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Browsing /tv/, there seem to be a lot of shills trying to build hype, and they're getting shot down every single time
It's hilarious.
 
Browsing /tv/, there seem to be a lot of shills trying to build hype, and they're getting shot down every single time
It's hilarious.
Shills, lazy bait, contrarian circlejerking to own the channers, at this point with /tv/ it's a matter of picking which is funnier to you in terms of determining why a given Star Wars thread was created.
 
Zorry Bliss, a Bobba Fett donut steel. Bounty Hunter that captures our heroes and is going to turn them in to the FO, oh no the heroes are in danger, is this the end of Rey&co?.. Luckily, Poe and Zorry used to date so she saves them instead and fights off other bounty hunters doing their job (whew that was a close call).

man, completely forget about her. movie's not even out yet and it's already a clusterfuck of characters I subconsciously repress given their setup.

Browsing /tv/, there seem to be a lot of shills trying to build hype, and they're getting shot down every single time

the big consumer boards like /v/, /g/ and /tv/ have an absurd amount of outright shills and merely pretending bait posters. but what's to expect when chinkmoot can't even enable thread IDs

EDIT:
Shills, lazy bait, contrarian circlejerking to own the channers, at this point with /tv/ it's a matter of picking which is funnier to you in terms of determining why a given Star Wars thread was created.

in /tv/'s defense they still turn it into something entertaining and it feels less annoying since they constantly spam stuff themselves to force memes (fuck you, pestposting was fun) that drowns it out and moves shit off the board.
/v/ in comparison simply doesn't have the capacity not falling for bait every time, which makes it a chore to read.
 
Once again Disney-Lucasfilm is using their comics to explain shit they're too lazy to explain in their movies.

Remember Ackbar's replacement (who I assumed to be his nephew) who I talked about before during the costume leaks and a few pages ago where I suggested his name might be Aftab based on a shitty new novel that came out having a character called Aftab Ackbar? Well it turns out he is Aftab Ackbar and he's actually Ackbar's son and an admiral. What a convenient and surprise twist.../sneed I also like how orange Mon Calamari are basically non-existent now...

Anyway, the comic introduces the character to make you pretend to give a shit and explain why he's in the movie, which I think confirms that he's nothing but a background cameo meant to be a seat filler now that Ackbar's role as useless background filler under Disney is gone. The comic pretends that all of a sudden Disney-Lucasfilm and the Galaxy suddenly gives a shit about Ackbar despite not giving a damn about him when he died and killing him off so shamelessly. The even put his head on an undersea Mt. Rushmore as if to say "See? We totally love Ackbar! Although we still have zero respect for the character or his actor and are just using this to trick you into giving a shit".
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Even his hands don't look like the typical Mon Calamari crab-flippers, instead its just creepy human hands with six fingers to accompany his gross human skin tone.
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Meanwhile shills and shill sites are going all out to generate faux hype for this guy (not as much as Babu Frik though) and claiming that "OMG JJ is saving SW! He just btfo Rian by retconning his things and bringing in Ackbar's son!" Do these fuckers even know what a retcon is?

To make matters dumber, Adolf Ackbar here claims he never actually met his father, they only ever briefly saw each other once "right after his spawning", but even Adolf here says "maybe". Yet he claims to know his father because he read everything about him and is just as heartbroken as everyone else, and despite that his father never visited him, Leia apparently had all the time in the world to visit Adolf Ackbar Jr. regularly to the point where he considers her like family yet his own father never had one day to take off while someone completely unrelated to the family had all the time in the world. Reminder that this character was never mentioned once in the last 6 years under Disney.

In short, they just pulled him out of their ass as a cheap way to bring in their own Ackbar donut steal to pay Lucas a little less and create faux-nostalgia to appease the JJ crowd. And they're too strapped for time to actually include this scene in the film and make a non-human character interesting and well-developed.
 
Freddie Prinze Jr went on a sperg fest against the fans of SW.

Also, @GeneralFriendliness you’re gonna love this.

Disney’s Q4 earnings are expected to be slashed as well.

 
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...or he is gay and decided to raise a kid who is now one of the best Resistance x-wing pilots.
Do you mean:
"The father was an abusive husband who beat his wife and kids, especially his fabulous gay son for being too feminine, but said gay son ran away and became an ace pilot to spite his father"?
That's a far more likely scenario.

So, in order to palliate over Ackbar's unceremonious and respectless death, they introduce his son and make a story that highlights how important Ackbar is (they emphasize his status as a war hero pretty clumsily)... but in the same comic, they call him a neglectful father?
Well done, Disney. Even when you try to shill a character, you still end up shitting on him. Well fucking done.

I don't even know how they did it, but they somehow managed to make me hate this guy from only one page of a comic. Everything about this dialogue is clunky and bad. His design is atrocious - and I can't help myself, I instantly associate him with Shia Labeuf.
 
So, in order to palliate over Ackbar's unceremonious and respectless death, they introduce his son and make a story that highlights how important Ackbar is (they emphasize his status as a war hero pretty clumsily)... but in the same comic, they call him a neglectful father?
They can't help it. Every weirdo involved in the media industry at this point has daddy issues.
 
Oh dear oh my, Freddie got to voice some shitty Donut Steel Jedi on Disney's shitty space Aladdin cartoon and all of a sudden he's our go-to Star Wars guru.

'But but but but he heard it from Filoni - and Filoni heard it from Lucas'

Uhuh, as if anyone should trust Filoni after Rebels and Resistance ('what?' I hear you thinking; Resistance is that shitty cell-shaded cartoon that's been cancelled already - the one with the gay pigbat and bird) and his never-dying obsession with orange buttcheeks. Then again I've never had the same appreciation for Clone Wars as some others have. Meanwhile, the article ends on this sentence;

The video was uploaded just yesterday, though, allowing us all to see the true passion that comes forth when he [Freddie] starts talking about his feelings on the bullshit nature of “Grey Jedi”—regardless of what Timothy Zahn might think.

Yes, because we should trust Shaggy from the Scooby Doo live action flicks over the author that created some of the best content in both the original and nu-EU. The disrespect is staggering, and after Kevin Smith (tbh I don't know who that is, I'm not from the Anglosphere) yesterday we now have to take Freddie Prinze Jr's word as gospel?

It's all so.... desperate
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Oh dear oh my, Freddie got to voice some shitty Donut Steel Jedi on Disney's shitty space Aladdin cartoon and all of a sudden he's our go-to Star Wars guru.

'But but but but he heard it from Filoni - and Filoni heard it from Lucas'

Uhuh, as if anyone should trust Filoni after Rebels and Resistance ('what?' I hear you thinking; Resistance is that shitty cell-shaded cartoon that's been cancelled already - the one with the gay pigbat and bird) and his never-dying obsession with orange buttcheeks. Then again I've never had the same appreciation for Clone Wars as some others have. Meanwhile, the article ends on this sentence;



Yes, because we should trust Shaggy from the Scooby Doo live action flicks over the author that created some of the best content in both the original and nu-EU. The disrespect is staggering, and after Kevin Smith (tbh I don't know who that is, I'm not from the Anglosphere) yesterday we now have to take Freddie Prinze Jr's word as gospel?

It's all so.... desperate
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1) Freddie Prince Jr was Fred in Scooby Doo. Matthew Lillard was Shaggy. Not like it matters, both are one-note actors.
2) Kevin Smith is "Silent Bob" from the "Jay and Silent Bob" movies. As I said, the only thing with Kevin "If the payment is right, I'll cry all night" Smith in it, that's dear to me is the movie Dogma and even there he's just the sidekick of a sidekick. George Carlin is where it's at.
 
Oh dear oh my, Freddie got to voice some shitty Donut Steel Jedi on Disney's shitty space Aladdin cartoon and all of a sudden he's our go-to Star Wars guru.

'But but but but he heard it from Filoni - and Filoni heard it from Lucas'

Uhuh, as if anyone should trust Filoni after Rebels and Resistance ('what?' I hear you thinking; Resistance is that shitty cell-shaded cartoon that's been cancelled already - the one with the gay pigbat and bird) and his never-dying obsession with orange buttcheeks. Then again I've never had the same appreciation for Clone Wars as some others have. Meanwhile, the article ends on this sentence;



Yes, because we should trust Shaggy from the Scooby Doo live action flicks over the author that created some of the best content in both the original and nu-EU. The disrespect is staggering, and after Kevin Smith (tbh I don't know who that is, I'm not from the Anglosphere) yesterday we now have to take Freddie Prinze Jr's word as gospel?

It's all so.... desperate
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Filoni disowned Resistance FWIW
 
Filoni disowned Resistance FWIW
I thought it was only because he was busy with Clone Wars. As I recall, he made the setting, characters and supposedly an early draft of the pilot and then created the crappy protagonist for that show too and made him asian because he claimed that he desperately wanted to create an asian hero for SW for some reason despite that Jyn Erso Jan Ors and even fucking Rose Tico had him beat on that shit. Anyway he claims the show was based on Cheers and was also inspired by his grandfather's war stories. The racing element of the show was also something he wrote about and the show's staff still goes to him for thoughts and notes.

As for Freddy, I could not give less of a shit about what that celebrity faggot thinks. But the AV Club community and Twitter mob's roaring reaction to it is way more irritating.

Regardless, there's a new rumor going around about IX that's pretty baseless but somewhat believable and seems to based on the MSW leaks.
The rumor claims that since Rey becomes empowered by the ghosts of all past jedis (prequel and Disney EU-only jedis...) to defeat the Emperor at the end of IX, then Ahsoka may possibly be included as one of the many ghosts while Filoni collects another cameo check for his forced as fuck character.

Now here's some official shit.
1: Reshoots are finally over, or so its claimed. This isn't the first time this claim's been made only for it turn out that they needed to do more reshoots a few weeks/days later.
2: That MakingStarWars guy claims that despite the leaks claiming that Ren dies and Rey becomes a Skywalker, there's enough sickening pandering to satisfy Reylo shipping tards. Fuck I hope he's wrong about that, but if Ren dies it will still piss them off royally.
3: Rian is being made fun of by everyone including some diehard shills over his trilogy getting cancelled. He's no longer talking about SW in recent tweets and he isn't responding to any of the tweets asking about the state of his movie. MUH DEEEEEK
4: IX tickets will begin going on sale on October 21 to "compliment" the final trailer's release. I just hope they don't try to inflate the sales numbers. Considering the recent shake-up about Disney cooking the books and suddenly canning Captain Ms. Marvel to the point where even her comic self is rumored to be getting killed off soon, would it be possible that they actually did inflate the numbers for that movie? I originally just thought that shit was just 4chan tinfoil paranoia, but with all the shit that's been developing, I honestly don't know what to think anymore.

5: Finally, there's a shitty "super important must-read book you all gotta buy!" coming out as part of the Journey to IX project that possesses some bullshit essential bit of info relating to the movie... Its called Force Collector and its about some guy who goes around collecting jedi relics and he's strong with the Force and idolizes the jedi or something. The book originally had a scene that was exactly like a scene in IX and the author was forced to change it. The author is an "award winning" writer for Robot Chicken and MAD (the awful cartoon, not the show)...

Here's is a page from the book:
“Let me show you something.”


Before Maize could either agree or protest, Karr pushed aside a curtain in his own bedroom to reveal a closet full of seemingly random objects from all walks of life: belts, staffs, blasters, comlinks, helmets, and more — all of it meticulously cataloged. Scribbled on the walls and shelves beneath the objects were erasable flimsiplast notes with dates, like he’d been trying to map out a whole galaxy using just this oddball collection of stuff.


“Whoa!” she exclaimed. “Did you do all of this?”


He couldn’t tell if she was impressed or horrified. “Yeah.” He cocked his head toward the shelves that held his treasures. “And some of these things have shown me their past.”


Maize took a closer look. She gently picked up a kloo horn and turned it over in her hands. “How does it work?”


“Well, you’ve seen it in action. Sometimes I touch something and everything gets loud and ... and both


bright and dark at the same time. It’s hard to explain. It’s sort of like being on fire, but then other things come through: voices, pictures, colors — and then ... then I black out.”


“Sounds horrible.”


“It is, sometimes,” he said. “I’m still not sure what causes the flashes, but they’re always something big. It’s almost like some objects are witnesses and they want to tell me what they saw. Does that make sense?”


Maize looked at him blankly, so he decided to keep talking.


“Like this, for example,” he said, picking up a mouthpiece that looked so old it definitely shouldn’t go in anyone’s mouth. “This is an A99 aquata breather that belonged to a fishing merchant. The guy who sold it to me said that the merchant got it from a Jedi that used it for marine reconnaissance. I’d hoped it would show me something about the Jedi, but no matter how hard I concentrate, I can’t get it to zap me with a vision. So either it didn’t experience anything big —”


“Or the guy was pulling your leg,” she interjected.


“Pretty much.”


“There’s a lot of people out there who will take advantage of you, Karr.”


He ignored her and moved on. “But this, on the other hand . . .” He held up a wooden staff, or at least part of one. The top was a silver handle that looked like it had been smoothed in a furnace. The bottom was shattered and fragmented, indicating that it had been longer in its heyday. It was completely blackened and charred, but something kept it from crumbling.


“The first time I touched it, I passed out, fell down, and chipped a tooth.” He flashed her an oversized, slightly jagged smile. “I thought for sure it must’ve belonged to a Jedi, because it affected me so strongly, but in the vision, at least from what I could tell, the owner didn’t wear traditional Jedi garb and I didn’t see a lightsaber anywhere. What’s weird, though, is that he clutched the staff as if it was one ... and I swear I could hear him mumbling about the Force. And he was in the middle of what I think was a big battle.”


Maize gave him a sideways glance. “You hear what you wanna hear, I guess.”


Karr took slight offense. “Maybe. But I don’t always see what I want to see, otherwise I would’ve seen a Jedi by now, wouldn’t I? Anyway, I think that’s when I understood that the items that give me visions always show me things that are significant. Important,” he added, having found a better word. “Fortunately, the Jedi have seen a lot of action, so I search for their things specifically — with the added hope that I can also get a lesson out of the deal — but sometimes I’ll reach for random things as well just to see if they can show me anything.”


“So you still haven’t seen any Jedi then? In life or in your visions,” she said.


He deflated a little. “No. But they were real.”


“But you can’t prove it,” she countered.


“I don’t need to prove it. I know what’s true, and I don’t care if you don’t believe me,” he fibbed. “I swear there’s something in me that guides me toward this stuff. And it can’t just be an unhealthy interest!”


“If you say so.”


Maize slowly walked around the room, running her hands over a few objects as if checking them for dust. She stopped when she spied a datapad on his bed, the screen still faintly glowing. She picked it up and read aloud, “Antique Military Collector’s Guide. What did this tell you?”


“That I’ve been overpaying for this stuff,” he said with a laugh. “I only got it a month ago, and I’ve been spending too many credits. Now I know better.”


“You bought all of these things?”


“No, not all of them. I found some. People gave me some. And yeah, I bought some. After a while I realized I might have some luck looking through junk shops, or bartering with pilots and tourists. Now this handy guide lets me know what something’s worth before I lose too many credits.”


Maize stood with her hands on her hips. She paused and took everything in one more time, as if she was a judge about to present the award for Best Jedi Museum. Then, with an air of authority, she said, “I think you’re crazy.”


Karr was about to argue with her again until he saw the smirk on her face. “I’m just teasing you. Sort of,” she added, sitting on a chair in his room. “Look, the truth is, I only know what I know from my family’s experience. CeSai did really well under the Empire. Then the New Republic kicked the Empire out, and there was no one left to run the planet. Everything fell apart. As for the Jedi, who knows who they were or what they did. I’ve always assumed it was folklore, but” — she looked at him with a glint of adventure in her eyes — “prove me wrong.”

In lighter news, here are some more Star Wars polls that fucked over Disney shit.

Disney films got less votes than the prequels.
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Sequel fights couldn't compete with OT and PT fights.
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And in a surprising turn of events, the original Lego Star Wars is really freaking popular.
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Almost every poll turns out like this these days.

Also here's some salt.
I like how the first comment points out that he goes there for memes but instead finds "in-depth discussion" in an almost complimentary manner without realizing that the sequels aren't even silly enough to produce quality memes outside of TR8-T0R jokes. Yet they still think this shit will end up as ironically and unironically enjoyed as the prequels in 10 years without realizing that the prequels are still divisive and criticized to this day. And they gloat that "we won't have to deal with so many haters in 10 years", which sounds crazy delusional even for them. How is waiting out 10 years to stop being somewhat less hated any kind of victory? Only thing people will remember or care about then is Kylo Ren and that will mostly be from middle aged women who can't get over their fictional school crush, much like Twilight and Harry Potter fans.
 
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I thought it was only because he was busy with Clone Wars. As I recall, he made the setting, characters and supposedly an early draft of the pilot and then created the crappy protagonist for that show too and made him asian because he claimed that he desperately wanted to create an asian hero for SW for some reason despite that Jyn Erso and even fucking Rose Tico had him beat on that shit. Anyway he claims the show was based on Cheers and was also inspired by his grandfather's war stories. The racing element of the show was also something he wrote about and the show's staff still goes to him for thoughts and notes.

"What I have heard" after he left to work on the Clone Wars Redux is when production started going off the rails and he said "I am too busy to be blamed for this"
 
jyn was a bong tho. do you mean jan ors?
Thanks for correcting me. Sort of reminds me of how Disney-Lucasfilm actively tries to replace everything that came before them and expunge them from memory. Try and do an image search on google or anything for stuff like stormtrooper, jedi, lightsaber, droids, star wars, etc and you'll get is sequel shit while OT/Pre-Disney stuff hardly appears.

On a less related note, it still boggles my mind how a show that started 10 years ago still looks better than any CGI shitshow from Disney.
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Love it or hate it, you can't deny that Filoni Wars looked fucking amazing compared to this shit even if its writing and lore could be questionable.
 
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