Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

Welcome to Clown World.


Shit like that just made me convinced that Palpatine was out to mess with Vader at every turn on purpose just to make him angrier. Being trolled and constantly pissed off is the fastest way to level grind for Siths.
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Seeing Vader pissed was endearing, but the whole thing with the Tantive IV just opens up a whole 'nother can of worms.
And this was written by RO shills and even they know something was wonky. Also it doesn't help that uncanny valley Leia is unsettling as fuck.


All we know for certain is that its going to be this month and ticket sales start on the 15th. Some say tomorrow is the trailer's release and some say the 21st. But I believe the 21st is more likely.

StarWarsNewsNet claims its the 21st.

But Boyega's agent claimed it comes out on Monday, but then Boyega himself also tweeted about it and claims its soon but he doesn't know when.
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Everyone, even people within Disney seem completely lost as to what the release date will be or they're misleading on purpose.

Anyway here is some related news.

1: The name of a music track from IX has supposedly been leaked (although this comes from Reddit so take it with a grain of salt, but the guy seems trusted by people there) and its called the Falcon's Last Ride which makes people suspect that Disney is going to destroy the Falcon and possibly kill Lando. This was sort of suspected after a recent lego leak showed what looked like a destroyed Falcon on one of their boxes with Ren's ship flying away, however since the opposite side had Ren's ship destroyed with the Falcon flying away, I doubted it, but considering the name of this track, it seems Disney really is dumb enough to kill the Falcon and Lando... Oh well. Not like its the Falcon we knew and loved. Its just L337 now. But still, this pretty much confirms that Disney wants to kill off everyone from before Disney and leave them with no descendants (since Lando's "truly love" is a fucking robot under Disney), probably to never have to pay George or anyone a dime ever again. Bastards.

2: Another supposed leaker claims that previous leaks about Kylo Ren's death are legit as to mirror Jacen Solo's death (since that's pretty much Emo Ren's template) and have him be killed only to go back to the light in his dying moments. Hopefully true, since that would mean Reylos will sperg and Disney will lose its shippertard/Twilight fanbase.

3: Vanity Fair weighs in on the Where's Rose drama.

4: Despite that reshoots are supposedly done, JJ is still editing the film, so the final runtime is unknown, but so far its believed to be 2 hours and 35 minutes according to theater info but that might change with more edits.

5: As more major media news outlets are starting to turn their backs on Disney, The Mary Sue comes in as one of their few remaining white knights.
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Yet they seem to have no issue with Rose's removal. I thought you tards cared about opressed Women of Color?
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Imagine believing that everything that was ever built is perfect and nobody ever makes mistakes or design / budget compromises.
Someone here said something to the effect of "someone who thinks you can build a moon-sized space station with zero major defects has clearly never been in the same room as an actual engineering project." This is correct. (Can't find the exact post now, sorry.)
 
Imagine believing that everything that was ever built is perfect and nobody ever makes mistakes or design / budget compromises.
If there’s anything that exemplifies this fact in the Star Wars universe, it’s Darth Vader’s suit apparently, which Palestine cheaped out on, resulting it causing Darth Vader constant pain and annoyance.
 
If there’s anything that exemplifies this fact in the Star Wars universe, it’s Darth Vader’s suit apparently, which Palestine cheaped out on, resulting it causing Darth Vader constant pain and annoyance.
I thought Vader's suit was built like that to cause him pain and irritation, thus strengthening his dark force powers
 
1: The name of a music track from IX has supposedly been leaked (although this comes from Reddit so take it with a grain of salt, but the guy seems trusted by people there) and its called the Falcon's Last Ride which makes people suspect that Disney is going to destroy the Falcon and possibly kill Lando. This was sort of suspected after a recent lego leak showed what looked like a destroyed Falcon on one of their boxes with Ren's ship flying away, however since the opposite side had Ren's ship destroyed with the Falcon flying away, I doubted it, but considering the name of this track, it seems Disney really is dumb enough to kill the Falcon and Lando... Oh well. Not like its the Falcon we knew and loved. Its just L337 now. But still, this pretty much confirms that Disney wants to kill off everyone from before Disney and leave them with no descendants (since Lando's "truly love" is a fucking robot under Disney), probably to never have to pay George or anyone a dime ever again. Bastards.

Disney: "Hey, let's destroy the Millenium Falcon."

Also Disney: "Please go to our new Star Wars expansion where the only ride there is a simulator where you get to pilot the Falcon!"

Like, what the actual fuck were they thinking? Why in hell would you plop down two fucking full scale Falcons as centerpieces for your big draw expansion and have a whole ride themed on it, only to blow the fucker up?

Sadly, I think this lines up perfectly with the rumored fake-out death of Chewie.
 
>> Han Sells Freedom Medals for Beer Money
>> Reys Parents Sell Her for Drinking Money

InB4 they somehow say Rey is Han and Leia's Daughter thus tying in that Ren is a Skywalker and Leia and Han put her on the streets to get drunk.

As stupid as this connection seems, I seriously wouldn't put it past Didneys asses after reading all I have read here. Which makes me wanna ask- HOW FUCKING EXPENSIVE ARE THOSE DRINKS? (nods @GeneralFriendliness for telling us "Really fucking expensive at GE")

(I am surprised this hasn't been mentioned as a possible since they actually did say these things.)
 
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Disney: "Hey, let's destroy the Millenium Falcon."

Also Disney: "Please go to our new Star Wars expansion where the only ride there is a simulator where you get to pilot the Falcon!"

Like, what the actual fuck were they thinking? Why in hell would you plop down two fucking full scale Falcons as centerpieces for your big draw expansion and have a whole ride themed on it, only to blow the fucker up?
I really hope that this leak turns out to be true and the Falcon is used as a cheap "shock death", like landmarks and famous buildings in a shitty Emmerich movie.
If their main attraction for GE suddenly is destroyed in the movies, it would be the perfect sign that nothing they did was ever planned out ahead, the novels are a good indication, since all they do is poorly plug holes that the movies created, but this would be an even better sign.

I also hope that the Falcon is destroyed, so it's no longer part of Disney's mediocre memberberries bullshit extravaganza. It's way too amazing and iconic to be kept around just for Disney to parade it around like a trophy. If it's destroyed, it is freed and will live on on my memories, glorious and untainted, whereas a prolonged existence will only remind me of its sad fate.

Sadly, I think this lines up perfectly with the rumored fake-out death of Chewie.

I guess he'll use the same escape pod system that Rey used in TLJ, a moment before the Falcon is obliterated.
Big space battle, Falcon gets destroyed, Chewie bails, but all Rebell ships have to split up, so the protagonists don't know what became of Chewie (who they assume to be dead, but he was saved by someone from the rebellion). Maybe that's how Wexley will figure into this.

And man, isn't it weird, I am hyped as fuck for the trailer for all the wrong reasons, I want to see how much deeper they can fall.
 
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Here’s the cringe Mary Sue farted out of their vagina that @GeneralFriendliness brought up.


Dumb cunt said:
Another weekend, another bad take on the internet making people mad. Yesterday it was this article from CNET that made the bold claim that “The New Star Wars trilogy is worse than the prequels.” It’s a clickbait-y headline, yes, but the points the article makes – that JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson have something to learn from George Lucas’s abysmal work behind the camera on the prequel trilogy is just…wrong. On every meaningful level the new Star Wars films are miles better than the prequel trilogy. And in some ways, they’re actually better than the originals.

Yeah. I said it.

Now. a lot of the criticisms of the “new trilogy” in the bad article is about the plot arcs and character beats of the new films, but the author’s argument rests on a very bad premise – mainly that he’s talking about a “trilogy” that isn’t complete yet. Sorry, dude. You can’t criticize Rey’s arc for being unfocused if you don’t know where it’s going. We have no idea how the new sage will end, so it’s incredibly silly to compare the three-movie arcs of the prequels or the originals to two movies and a trailer. He acknowledges things like the writing and acting of the new films are better and yet still sees fit to criticize plots that aren’t complete.

And the critiques of the plots that are complete are bad too. The author argues that the new films have no dramatic stakes and that we don’t get big deaths like Qui Gon’s in the prequels. I guess he was asleep when Han Solo got skewered by his own son in The Force Awakens, or when Rey and Kylo unexpectedly killed the red herring big bad in The Last Jedi. He must have also dreamed up a version of the Phantom Menace where Qui Gon an interesting character, not a series of plot devices who stole a child from his home and left his mom in slavery. He also argue that the prequels have dramatic tension when they are by their nature pre-determined in how they end. Come on.

It’s all bad-faith, straw man fallacies. The comparisons in the article reek of fanboy rage about how Star Wars is different now and it shows in the shallowness of the arguments and accusations that the prequels bypass the new trilogy in any way. The prequel trilogy were essentially bad fanfic made independently by a man who didn’t care about emotion, plot or impact. They were boring, two-hour-long toy commercials with wooden dialog, terrible acting, that used nascent CGI and Digital technology to place characters in environments where they looked as lifeless and fake as possible.

The new Stars Wars films – including Rogue One and Solo – get back to the solid, real film making and fun, complex characters that made the first Star Wars trilogy great. And instead of sucking the life out of the myth and majesty of the originals the way the prequels do, they all improve on it. The characters in the original trilogy – a movie made for kids as Freddie Prize Jr. just reminded us – are literal archetypes straight out of Joseph Campbell. They’re great, but ultimately simple; and that’s fine. But the characters in these new films are far more complex and interesting. Even the old character have grown up and advanced in complexity. Everyone in the new films is more morally ambiguous and rebellious. One might say…better.

And they’re not majority white and male. Yes. We’re going there. The diversity and progressive ideals of the new Star Wars films place them miles above the originals (and the prequels). There’s more than one woman. There’s more than one person of color. Those women and people of color have agency and don’t just die of a broken heart or serve as plot devices or love interests. The whole point of new trilogy is how important a diverse and democratic Force is.

Nostalgia is very kind to the original Star Warstrilogy. It’s kind to everything. But we can love something (and believe me, I do love the old films) and appreciate its flaws. Nostalgia however has never been kind to the prequels. There has to be some sort of fandom Stockholm syndrome at work for a discerning viewer to think that the basic filmmaking of the new movies isn’t better than anything that’s come in the past, but it’s probably just the same anger we see from all sorts of Star Wars “fans” when they’re confronted by the fact that this franchise doesn’t just belong to little white boys anymore.

Just a the Force belongs to everyone, just like the boring myths and rules of the old Jedi order had to be destroyed, so too does the idea that George Lucas was some misunderstood genius whose prequel trilogy was anything but an ego trip that misunderstood everything that was great about his first film. Lucas got lucky with Star Wars and continued to be lucky when he worked with other directors on Empire and Return of the Jedi.

But it was JJ Abram, Rian Johnson and perhaps most importantly, Kathleen Kennedy that got what worked in Star Wars and improved it, diversified it and democratized it. Their films weren’t made just to sell toys or tell dry, unmoving back story. They made films to inspire audiences – all audiences. And that’s why, by my reckoning, they’re better than anything that came before.
The lack of self awareness is appalling.
 
5: As more major media news outlets are starting to turn their backs on Disney, The Mary Sue comes in as one of their few remaining white knights.
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Yet they seem to have no issue with Rose's removal. I thought you tards cared about opressed Women of Color?

I can't. They want me to be angry about their brainless Disneycorp shill opinion.

'They didn't set out to make money from toys and merchandising'
ARE YOU FOR REAL. ARE YOU FOR ACTUAL REAL? I rescind my anger. Nobody can be this utterly naive and stupid to think bazillion dollar Disney didn't set out to make money off the cashcows of SW fans. The fact they've failed to do so Because they made a dogs dinner of Star Wars doesn't mean it wasn't the blatant intent!

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I would more point the fact that Galen Erso is fucking worst saboteur in the history of sabotage. The only way he could have been worse at his mission if he'd made enhancements the Death Star in some way. If in 10 years all he was able to do is hide a design flaw in one of 18 two-meter ports... I'd want to know what school he graduated from so I could execute all other graduates just in case there are any as incompetent as him, and then execute the teaching staff, administration, and then raze the place to the ground so they don't create another worthless graduate. (also, Wife dead, daughter missing & hiding with resistence, seriously WTF leverage did they really have on him at that point?)

he was under scrutiny from day one since he never wanted to work on it in the first place. hard to sabotage something when your work gets triple-checked and you're under constant surveillance. also means you have only limited access to the outside (far lass then the average in the empire I wager) so they literally could tell him anything to make him budge. sure, he could string himself up, but that takes will and again, constant surveillance. how many scientists or engineers do you know that have that kind of guts?
necking yourself will also take away every chance you have to sabotage it in the first place.

I liked Rogue One. There were some big flaws; they did a really poor job of introducing us to Jose Bond (which wouldn't have been a problem if he'd kept to the trope of 'amoral black ops agent who eventually rediscovers his humanity', but they tried to make him play against type by having him not snipe Jyn/Her father without really doing a good job of setting up that this was to be against his usual personality), too much jumping around, vehicle design on jedda, the not-out-of-the-uncanny-valley-yet Tarkin face mapping (Just put some guy in prosthetics FFS), the priest and his body guard (I actually sort of liked them, but hey made an already crowded movie that much more crammed full). And the escape of the Tantive at the very end.

my assumption is the reshots fucked with that, cut lot of stuff and added shit to make it more marketable. after a certain point they act like-semi lovers or at least comrades, but the moment that makes it happen it is never shown. least they took a note from pacific rim and don't have them kiss at the end (maybe it was cut)
donnie yen was great, tho my suspicion is he was added to attract a certain big market in asia. just fucking shit up with a stick felt more "jedi" and force powered than anything combined in both nuwars episodes (and to an extend even prequels which were way over-choreographed imo). should've given him a bigger role and actual make him a blind jedi.

tbh the cast of RO gets a lot of shit when for me actually worked better this way. sure they were underdeveloped, but I rather have new (side) characters than seeing the same 5 people over and over in a fucking galaxy. and with underdeveloped you have enough space to fill with headcanon or lore (until they get blown up, but still). they also managed to not make them one-dimensional trope characters only ticking off checkboxes.
would unironically love to see the original cut when it was more like a war movie.

vader was only good in the last scene, the fishing for a new meme quote with krennic was completely pointless and felt tacked on af. why they wanted to have have leia in the battle itself is anyone's guess, a single line about it being a transmission or picking it up elsewhere would've been sufficed. so much for story group I guess.
 
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This super annoys me because George built it there to represent how Totalitarians/Authoritarians operate

its a statement about their arrogance

you'll never have 100% devoted followers. it also doesn't recon tarkin dismissing it in ANH, so the arrogance angle is still intact.
but current year villains can't be competent anyway, the message these days is "haha we won because they dumb" not pride goes before the fall.

Its just L337 now.

whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy do you have to remind me of that. I was fine with the droid being a tard and getting it's comeuppance for acting like one in combat. I also just noticed that it makes lando even more of an idiot gambling with the ship that has his waifu in it. bloody hell...

and they won't kill the falcon, no fucking way. it's way too iconic and probably one of the last things that still moves merch. they'll probably do another fake OMG moment and have chewie show up with a new (slightly different but still memberberry af) not!falcon that just looks almost like it but will have a different name so they don't have to pay lucas. what's he gonna do, sue fucking disney?
it will later come out the han-porg built it in secret because he's actually a reincarnation or was guided by han's force ghost. unless ofc rey just "wills" another falcon into existence.
least that's what I expect hidalgo to shit out on twitter afterwards.
 
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you'll never have 100% devoted followers. it also doesn't recon tarking dismissing it in ANH, so the arrogance angle is still intact.
but current year villains can't be competent anyway, the message these days is "haha we won because they dumb" not pride goes before the fall.
Also can't have plucky heroes using Grit to defeat a near impossible foe.

I mean god forbid we teach "Children" (who this is supposed to be for LOL) a good moral value

tbh the cast of RO gets a lot of shit when for me actually worked better this way. sure they were underdeveloped, but I rather have new (side) characters than seeing the same 5 people over and over in a fucking galaxy. and with underdeveloped you have enough space to fill with headcanon or lore (until they get blown up, but still). they also managed to not make them one-dimensional trope characters only ticking off checkboxes.
would unironically love to see the original cut when it was more like a war movie.

My issue with R1 is....SW did this plot in video games multiple times (and better), every TTRPG of star wars did this, and we had novelizations.

There wasnt a new and compelling retelling of how the rebels got the death star plans [which in and of itself isnt interesting]
 
Though with change orders, (in)competent construction workers making alterations for reasons, fake plans to catch leakers, and etc.; the only person who the most current correct version of the DS plans was R2D2 when he downloaded it while stuck in that control room with C3PO.
 
I can't believe these haven't been posted yet; Lucasfilm's latest attempt to exploit the pre-school market is a series of shorts called Star Wars Rollout.

All your favourite characters like Rey, Janitor, and.... uh... anyway, all your faves reimagined as spheres! Let the toddlers in your family be amazed by how far the 30 cent animation budget has been stretched for this latest high quality offering from a galaxy far, far away (from its heyday);

 
I can't believe these haven't been posted yet; Lucasfilm's latest attempt to exploit the pre-school market is a series of shorts called Star Wars Rollout.

All your favourite characters like Rey, Janitor, and.... uh... anyway, all your faves reimagined as spheres! Let the toddlers in your family be amazed by how far the 30 cent animation budget has been stretched for this latest high quality offering from a galaxy far, far away (from its heyday);

When they first announced this, I already knew it was shit. Watching it, I have to say, it's way... waaaay worse than I thought.
The question that I am wondering about is why is everyone a BB-8-like spinnything? Are they that fond of that design? It sorta works for the robot, but for every other character it's so colossally fucking stupid and pointless. But then you watch this and the (in lack of a better term) """plot""", and there is no point to it. Rey finds shiny thing, baddies steal thing, treat Rey like shit and she finds more shiny things. Sooooo... is there a point to this story, a moral? Is there anything this has to say?
No. It's just things moving and making grunty noises and that's about it.

But for all it's massive shortcomings, it gave us something completely new, something hitherto unseen in the movies!
Rey is actually struggling and doesn't beat the badguys effortlessly. In fact, she doesn't beat them at all.
Well, it's still just a 2 minute issue, since she ends up being better off very quickly anyway, but I'll take whatever I can get...
 
While we're at it (I was travelling for work this weekend, hence having to catch up on news), fancy some Halloween shopping?

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You too can scare your neighbours shitless with the Gemmy Industries Yard Inflatables Yoda with Pumpkin for the low, low price of 30 USD (inflatabe is about three feet tall). Doesn't this thing look exactly like Yoda?
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Dress your little princess as Leia for trick-or-treating (something about this child model feels off though, is it the nose maybe?)

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Animal cruelty is fun and pet costumes are cute, so why not combine the best of both worlds? While you have one mutt running around as Princess Leia, have the other be forcibly dressed up as Wicket the Ewok.

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NOVELTY BAGS - IT'S A PUG, ISN'T IT CUTE? FUR FUR AWAY HAHAHAHAH #laughs #funny #dogsofinstagram

tl;dr Star Wars really is a Facebook mom brand now.

But fair play to the Rat ; its Parks department did come up with a nifty candy corn-inspired droid figure for the overpriced stores in Galaxy's Edge;
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I've never had candy corn - is it any good?
 
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