حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Hi I Am From Page 6]

I just saw that I received the trophy "Well Received Newbie".
Thank you. I'm touched. I love you all.*


*This means you are obligated to love me back or you are all a bunch of disloyal sluts.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

quit whining Connor

 

[Tookie]

If a girl I'm dating turns out to be a nymphomaniac or a cheater, I'm supposed to take that like a champ and move on. Am I right?

Dude, you hit the jackpot if she turns out to be a nymphomaniac.

 

[Pine Tar]

Fucky you, Connor.

 

[Cosmos]

Connor, let me spell this out for you as clearly as humanly possible. Maybe then you'll finally get it.

WE KEEP TELLING YOU TO CHANGE BECAUSE YOUR BEHAVIOR IS DOWNRIGHT ABHORRENT. YOU THROW ENDLESS PITY PARTIES, SPEW UNFOUNDED, STUPID HATRED ABOUT ADOPTION, CALL ALL WOMEN SLUTS AND WHORES AND BASICALLY JUST ACT LIKE A MISOGYNISTIC CREEP, YOU MAKE A LOT OF UNCOMFORTABLY RACIST/BIGOTED COMMENTS, YOU SHOW ABSOLUTELY NO INITIATIVE WHATSOEVER TO DO ANYTHING TO IMPROVE YOURSELF, ALL YOU DO IS COME UP WITH EXCUSES, YOU NEVER ACKNOWLEDGE WHEN YOU'RE WRONG OR ATTEMPT TO CORRECT YOUR PAST BEHAVIOR, YOU BLAME EVERYTHING ON EVERYONE ELSE INSTEAD OF LOOKING INSIDE OF YOURSELF, AND YOU USE "BUT I'M AFRAID OF FAILURE" "THE WORLD HATES ME" ETC AS AN EXCUSE TO JUST LAY AROUND AND BITCH.

IN SHORT, YES, CONNOR. YES, YOU NEED TO CHANGE.

 

[It's HK-47]

Okay...

If a friend betrays me, I'm supposed to smirk and crack a one-liner as I walk away. Am I right?
If a girl I'm dating turns out to be a nymphomaniac or a cheater, I'm supposed to take that like a champ and move on. Am I right?
If my parents hate me, I'm supposed to love them anyways. Am I right?
If I can't be a writer, I'm supposed to get hooked on something else I might not enjoy. Am I right?
To gain friends, I have to make enemies. Am I right?
To gain true love, I have to break hearts. Am I right?
To play by the rules of life, I have to sometimes play dirty. Am I right?

You know what, sure. Whatever. Enjoy your entire life encased in that little, miserable room, never go outside, never experience a single damned thing, and reflect back on this meaningless existence when you're 60 years of age, thoroughly content to blame the entire world for your problems, even though you bit every hand that ever fed you. Enjoy that. You seem to want absolutely nothing else out of life.

 

[Yog-Spergoth]

Okay...

If a friend betrays me, I'm supposed to smirk and crack a one-liner as I walk away. Am I right?
If a girl I'm dating turns out to be a nymphomaniac or a cheater, I'm supposed to take that like a champ and move on. Am I right?
If my parents hate me, I'm supposed to love them anyways. Am I right?
If I can't be a writer, I'm supposed to get hooked on something else I might not enjoy. Am I right?
To gain friends, I have to make enemies. Am I right?
To gain true love, I have to break hearts. Am I right?
To play by the rules of life, I have to sometimes play dirty. Am I right?

Conner, guy. Listen.

You're really young, so maybe this is hard to understand, but the world isn't binary like that. Trying to fit the world into goodevul rightwrong dichotomies will only make you miserable.

 

[Dalish]

Okay...

If a friend betrays me, I'm supposed to smirk and crack a one-liner as I walk away. Am I right?
If a girl I'm dating turns out to be a nymphomaniac or a cheater, I'm supposed to take that like a champ and move on. Am I right?
If my parents hate me, I'm supposed to love them anyways. Am I right?
If I can't be a writer, I'm supposed to get hooked on something else I might not enjoy. Am I right?
To gain friends, I have to make enemies. Am I right?
To gain true love, I have to break hearts. Am I right?
To play by the rules of life, I have to sometimes play dirty. Am I right?

• You admitted your friend never betrayed you, fag.
• You stalked a girl because she was freaked out by you.
• Your parents hate you because you whine like a bitch all the time and don't listen to them.
• You suck at writing, get over it.
• Nah.
• Nah.
• Nah.
• Nah.

tl;dr: Connor, you have no one to blame for your misery except yourself you fat bitch.

 

[HG 400]

If a girl I'm dating turns out to be a nymphomaniac or a cheater

Tell us more about this. You were dating a girl?

 

[lynx]

Okay...

If a friend betrays me, I'm supposed to smirk and crack a one-liner as I walk away. Am I right?
If a girl I'm dating turns out to be a nymphomaniac or a cheater, I'm supposed to take that like a champ and move on. Am I right?
If my parents hate me, I'm supposed to love them anyways. Am I right?
If I can't be a writer, I'm supposed to get hooked on something else I might not enjoy. Am I right?
To gain friends, I have to make enemies. Am I right?
To gain true love, I have to break hearts. Am I right?
To play by the rules of life, I have to sometimes play dirty. Am I right?

i spent a lot of last night and this evening catching up on this thread. let me just say:

1. don't have shitty friends (you were actually extremely shitty to your so called "best friend" earlier in this thread, so you're the betrayer, hypocrite).
   
2. don't date shitty women (although you're a shitty guy so you don't have much room to speak on this issue)
3. your parents don't hate you, you're just a dick and eternally stuck in teenage angst mode
4. just find something you do enjoy, will actually do, and can do at least competently well. writing is not this thing.
5. you will naturally rub some people the wrong way (just look at how well you've done in this thread). just try to be less obnoxious to everyone in general
6. no, no you don't. don't try to turn love into your sick fantasy of breaking a girl for your twisted amusement
7. you don't seem to be playing life at all, so you don't have to worry about that

 

[Ruin]

Okay...

If a friend betrays me, I'm supposed to smirk and crack a one-liner as I walk away. Am I right?
If a girl I'm dating turns out to be a nymphomaniac or a cheater, I'm supposed to take that like a champ and move on. Am I right?
If my parents hate me, I'm supposed to love them anyways. Am I right?
If I can't be a writer, I'm supposed to get hooked on something else I might not enjoy. Am I right?
To gain friends, I have to make enemies. Am I right?
To gain true love, I have to break hearts. Am I right?
To play by the rules of life, I have to sometimes play dirty. Am I right?

Population you.

 

[Ivan Komarov]

Okay...

If a friend betrays me, I'm supposed to smirk and crack a one-liner as I walk away. Am I right?
If a girl I'm dating turns out to be a nymphomaniac or a cheater, I'm supposed to take that like a champ and move on. Am I right?
If my parents hate me, I'm supposed to love them anyways. Am I right?
If I can't be a writer, I'm supposed to get hooked on something else I might not enjoy. Am I right?
To gain friends, I have to make enemies. Am I right?
To gain true love, I have to break hearts. Am I right?
To play by the rules of life, I have to sometimes play dirty. Am I right?

No, you're supposed to throw yourself off a building.

 

[KatsuKitty]

I really can't feel bad for you anymore, Connor. Lest we all forget: http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?p=4164704

I find a nice girl.
She's sweet, caring, conscientious, sincere. An idealist. Compassionate. Always looks on the bright side.
I fall in love...
then I break her psychologically, leaving her a shell of a girl.
Because they all deserve it.
Because I could.
Because I'm Connor Bible.

Turnabout is fair play, so therefore, I invite everyone to send Connor their extremely unwell wishes.

I hope Connor steps on a Lego barefoot. I hope the next time he goes to open a jar of pickles, he can't get the jar open. I'm so angry, I even hope he finds out he's out of conditioner after washing his hair in the shower.

 

[Jackie Chin]

Okay...

If a friend betrays me, I'm supposed to smirk and crack a one-liner as I walk away. Am I right?
If a girl I'm dating turns out to be a nymphomaniac or a cheater, I'm supposed to take that like a champ and move on. Am I right?
If my parents hate me, I'm supposed to love them anyways. Am I right?
If I can't be a writer, I'm supposed to get hooked on something else I might not enjoy. Am I right?
To gain friends, I have to make enemies. Am I right?
To gain true love, I have to break hearts. Am I right?
To play by the rules of life, I have to sometimes play dirty. Am I right?

1. Yes
2. Yes.
3. This probably is skewed by your own PoV
4. why would you get hooked on something you DON'T enjoy?
5. Not really, just stop being an ass.
6. Not really, just follow #5
7. wtf are you talking about?

 

[Cosmos]

Also, can I just say that @Hi_I_Am_From_Page_6 is awesome? Can we keep her? Please? She's so much better than Connor!

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

Connor, literally everything you wrote is dumb as fuck, but I will address one of your points:

If I can't be a writer, I'm supposed to get hooked on something else I might not enjoy. Am I right?

Yes, that is exactly what you're supposed to do. In fact, many published authors don't make a living off their work; they don't write often enough, or their work is very niche and doesn't sell well enough. Regardless, even the most accomplished writer had to work some kind of job they may or may not have enjoyed while they were writing their first works. IIRC, Stephen King worked as a manual laborer, and then a school teacher, until he finally made enough money off his writing to make that his primary source of income.

 

[Chuggernaut]

Lemme drop some knowledge on you, junior.

If a friend betrays me, I'm supposed to smirk and crack a one-liner as I walk away. Am I right?

Yes, you walk away. That's life. You might even need to cope with the fact you won't know what to say.

If a girl I'm dating turns out to be a nymphomaniac or a cheater, I'm supposed to take that like a champ and move on. Am I right?

You walk away and figure out how to avoid that situation in the future. That's life.

If my parents hate me, I'm supposed to love them anyways. Am I right?

No, you're supposed to cut ties and move on like an adult.

If I can't be a writer, I'm supposed to get hooked on something else I might not enjoy. Am I right?

If everyone could make a living doing whatever made them happy we'd have a planet of seven billion professional masturbators. You're not going to like everything you do in life.

To gain friends, I have to make enemies. Am I right?

That's called "picking sides" and it's a part of life.

To gain true love, I have to break hearts. Am I right?

You need to take it in the teeth a bunch of times. Shit doesn't just happen to you.

To play by the rules of life, I have to sometimes play dirty. Am I right?

Depends, do you want to win?

Look at your life and what you have right now. That's all you'll ever have if you don't change, because to get anything different than normal, you have to change what normal is. That's life.

 

[Ruin]

Implying Connor showers.

 

[HG 400]

Also, can I just say that @Hi_I_Am_From_Page_6 is awesome? Can we keep her? Please? She's so much better than Connor!

You can't just go around keeping every sperg you bring home. But I think in this case we'll make an exception.

 

[KatsuKitty]

Implying Connor showers.

I hope when he does shower next, the water heater does that thing where it goes slightly warm but not warm enough to finish washing.