DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Box Tie]

I thought it was telling during his "I'd love to just play Mass Effect 2" rant that he said he HAD to have a webcam.

No, you don't DSP. Get rid of the webcam. At this point, the webcam benefits US more than it actually benefits you.

On second thought, don't get rid of the webcam. What am I talking about? You look great!

He's right, but not for the reason he thinks. Whereas the webcam is part of the basic "Professional Videogame Streamer" package as far as Phil is concerned, where it is just expected of him and part of the show, Phil getting rid of the camera would hurt him especially because lonely people like Planetjeff and minecraft cuck would have a far harder time pretending to be friends with Phil if they couldn't see his face. Normies being put off by the disembodied snorts would be the least of his problems since normies aren't his audience anyway.

That and the loss of the camera would cut detractor traffic / mentions of DSP, slowing the replenishment of the pigpen from the greater internet's infinite supply of autism, further reducing his fundflow.

No, he really does need that camera to pay his bills, he just doesn't grasp exactly why.

 

[grump]

View attachment 970560
[2019-10-14 02:46:57 UTC] planetjeff2: It's planetjeff.

So right off the bat, thank you for the little self dox because you needed the praise from daddy Phil.

[2017-06-17 19:25:38 UTC] planetjeff2: cheer1000 - fuck the trollz.
[2017-06-17 19:26:09 UTC] planetjeff2: cheer1000 fuck the trollz.
[2019-08-15 03:33:15 UTC] planetjeff2: Attention, scumbags! DSP speaking words here. We will do whatever the fuck we want!

Here is where you can tell PlanetJeff2 to go fuck himself back, and do whatever the fuck YOU want!


Name: Jeff / Jeffrey Anderson
Age: 43-ish
Phone number: (801) 491-2719
Email: janderson@springville.org
Location: Provo, Utah
Work: City Engineer, Springville City Corp
Work website:

Springville City | Utah's Art City

www.springville.org

Work Twitter Account: https://twitter.com/SpringvilleCity
( I'm not saying to go there and spam the gif of Phil masturbating under every single thing they post, but if you do I wont care since their employer is giving Phil thousands of dollars. )

Links of note is his fucking LinkedIn profile:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeff-anderson-ba20436/

On the profile he states the following:
Education
Arizona State UniversityBSE, Civil Engineering1993 - 1998
Graduated Suma Cum Laude. Was Valedictorian of graduating class.

Which fits this comment:
[2018-01-26 06:03:53 UTC] planetjeff2: Your life has a *crazy* story arc. I was valedictorian as well. Went to a state school, got an engineering degree. Well paid, not complaining!

His location is Provo Utah, which has had one local Albertson store.

ALBERTSONS Provo, Provo, UT - store hours

www.store-locator.com

Which fits this comment:
[2017-07-18 19:54:13 UTC] planetjeff2: I did look for this V8 energy drink, my local Albertsons doesn't stock, unfortunately.

There is some information I didn't post because reasons, but you can trust this information.

Of note, the money he's throwing at Phil isn't his dead wife's money but is likely from his paycheck, he makes around 130,000$ yearly.

I would suggest further digging of people who are bored or want to see this utter cuck.

I'm sure the people of Springville would be thrilled to learn they're indirectly funding a manchild playing games 4 hrs a day and threatening to slap children. I guess at least Jeff...supposedly..earns it fair and square from a job rather than likely dumping welfare checks on phil like superblindman.

 

[Pargon]

I'm sure the people of Springville would be thrilled to learn they're indirectly funding a manchild playing games 4 hrs a day and threatening to slap children.

No-one would give a shit. Calm down. Whatever his faults we've seen Jeff is an engineer and has been for some time, and while nothing is a hard and fast rule engineers who are fuckups generally don't stay engineers for very long. He's paid to do a job and we have no way of proving he doesn't so I'm going to say that he's compensated fairly.

Even suggesting that Jeff's employer gives a single fuck about how he spends his money is retarded, and his town's citizens are going to care even less. The only people who lose sleep over it are on Twitter and, to a lesser extent, here. Normies don't even know about Phil much less his orbiters and some posters on here are getting dangerously close to jumping into the autism gravity well themselves.

 

[actually]

Some of these posts are walking right up to the line of ops. Just so we're clear, pulling a Phil-esque "HINT HINT WOULDN'T IT BE FUNNY IF SOMEONE DID THIS DETAILED PLAN" is not functionally different than saying you're going to execute your devious plan. No poop-touching.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

So I got around to watching the PubG stream and someone asks him if he’d ever play street fighter 4 again and this pig goes off on a tangent about everyone migrating to street fighter 5 because that’s where the money is and there’s no community behind sf4....since when the fuck does that stop you from forming a lobby with a couple of smucks....the guy who finds 3 people to play every older street fighter can’t go back to the 2nd latest street fighter because there’s no community behind it....right....fucking pignosis man

 

[shekelshoah666]

So I got around to watching the PubG stream and someone asks him if he’d ever play street fighter 4 again and this pig goes off on a tangent about everyone migrating to street fighter 5 because that’s where the money is and there’s no community behind sf4....since when the fuck does that stop you from forming a lobby with a couple of smucks....the guy who finds 3 people to play every older street fighter can’t go back to the 2nd latest street fighter because there’s no community behind it....right....fucking pignosis man

The real reason is that he shills himself as some sort of semi pro level player in SF4 who if he had the time could be pro level winning tournaments. In reality he would be a bottom of the barrel player if he tried to play online because anyone still playing it online is probably pretty good and he would get killed at any sort of in person tournament.

People give him too much credit for how "good" he is at fighting games. Hes better then someone who doesn't know the controls but he plays everything like it's ST and honestly he has some of the worst adapting skills I've seen from a "former pro fighting game player". Usually you pick up things while playing online and learn countermeasures against setups or tactics but he doesn't. He just does whatever bnb he learned and goes for tick throw setups or command grab OS's in almost every game even if they aren't advantageous and then blames lag or the game when he's hit while pressing buttons.

He even went on a spiel about how if a fighting game really interested him he would maybe train on stream and think about going to tournaments when we know that would never happen. He is quite literally Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite. Milking the good times when he was "the best" in his mind.

 

[Forbidden Math]

The real reason is that he shills himself as some sort of semi pro level player in SF4 who if he had the time could be pro level winning tournaments. In reality he would be a bottom of the barrel player if he tried to play online because anyone still playing it online is probably pretty good and he would get killed at any sort of in person tournament.

People give him too much credit for how "good" he is at fighting games. Hes better then someone who doesn't know the controls but he plays everything like it's ST and honestly he has some of the worst adapting skills I've seen from a "former pro fighting game player". Usually you pick up things while playing online and learn countermeasures against setups or tactics but he doesn't. He just does whatever bnb he learned and goes for tick throw setups or command grab OS's in almost every game even if they aren't advantageous and then blames lag or the game when he's hit while pressing buttons.

He even went on a spiel about how if a fighting game really interested him he would maybe train on stream and think about going to tournaments when we know that would never happen. He is quite literally Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite. jerking off the good times when he was "the best" in his mind.

Yep, I've played my fair share of fighting games and my only real skill is an unpredictable rushdown and even still I could destroy Phil even at SF5 which I've barely played. He doesn't even have fundamentals down, he's almost no better than straight mashers given even when he is going for something he'll mash it out making his inputs unreliable ("dood, that isn't what I did!!!" haunted controls bullshit). I'll give him there's a strategy there and he knows the theory of ST a little bit, but that little bit isn't enough to get him wins (muh booksmarts right?).

Really though Phil's biggest handicap is this "It's the game's fault" mentality. When you just assume you were doing everything right and that the game was wrong because it was laggy/bullshit/whatever crybaby excuse then that prevents any growth as a player. Phil will never be able to fix his shortcomings because he doesn't even see them as flaws.

 

[shekelshoah666]

Yep, I've played my fair share of fighting games and my only real skill is an unpredictable rushdown and even still I could destroy Phil even at SF5 which I've barely played. He doesn't even have fundamentals down, he's almost no better than straight mashers given even when he is going for something he'll mash it out making his inputs unreliable ("dood, that isn't what I did!!!" haunted controls bullshit). I'll give him there's a strategy there and he knows the theory of ST a little bit, but that little bit isn't enough to get him wins (muh booksmarts right?).

Really though Phil's biggest handicap is this "It's the game's fault" mentality. When you just assume you were doing everything right and that the game was wrong because it was laggy/bullshit/whatever crybaby excuse then that prevents any growth as a player. Phil will never be able to fix his shortcomings because he doesn't even see them as flaws.

Yes he blames the game far too much. For the amount of playtime he has on fighting games he loves to shit on the controls or default to "I don't know what that character does!" He reminds me of people I used to play with who would always random or not play their main character and use that as an excuse why they would lose and if they did play their main it would be "my inputs are lagging" etc. He is unable to cope with losing (not just in video games this is also why he married Kat he doesn't want to be a loser for being alone at his age).

If you want to see this in action go watch anytime he plays Third Strike online and plays against Twelve. All you hear is "Doesn't work offline" "I blocked that" "I don't know the matchup" He can't cope at all with the fact that someone is playing a low tier character and he can't deal with it even with a top tier character like Ken.

His SF streams have been incredibly salty over the last month maybe more anyone who wants a good laugh should check them out.

 

[Prince Lotor]

View attachment 970968
















"Weird", DSP? You think one man loving another man is "weird"? Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'd almost say DSP is being a bit homophobic here.

To be fair Phil also thinks it's 'weird' if a husband and wife in any way imply that they are sexually attracted to each other. . .

 

[tzgnilki]

The real reason is that he shills himself as some sort of semi pro level player in SF4 who if he had the time could be pro level winning tournaments. In reality he would be a bottom of the barrel player if he tried to play online because anyone still playing it online is probably pretty good and he would get killed at any sort of in person tournament.

People give him too much credit for how "good" he is at fighting games. Hes better then someone who doesn't know the controls but he plays everything like it's ST and honestly he has some of the worst adapting skills I've seen from a "former pro fighting game player". Usually you pick up things while playing online and learn countermeasures against setups or tactics but he doesn't. He just does whatever bnb he learned and goes for tick throw setups or command grab OS's in almost every game even if they aren't advantageous and then blames lag or the game when he's hit while pressing buttons.

He even went on a spiel about how if a fighting game really interested him he would maybe train on stream and think about going to tournaments when we know that would never happen. He is quite literally Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite. jerking off the good times when he was "the best" in his mind.

even his mk plays exactly like ST

 

[samovski]

If you want to see this in action go watch anytime he plays Third Strike online and plays against Twelve. All you hear is "Doesn't work offline" "I blocked that" "I don't know the matchup" He can't cope at all with the fact that someone is playing a low tier character and he can't deal with it even with a top tier character like Ken.

Doesn't he do this in any game that requires some form of skill? I've seen him do it in fighting games, soulsbourne games, platform games, pretty much any game he plays will at some point feature the iconic phrases "I didn't do that", "That's not what I did", "how was I supposed to know that", "Came out late" or some such faggotry. It's not just fighting games where the excuses fly, but it does seem to happen a lot more during those games. I guess he still genuinely has some pride about that 4th place 10+ years ago that he feels the need to pretend.

I don't play fighting games, I've tried and every time I have I've been fucked like a virgin. So I always try to give him the benefit of the doubt (yes, still to this day I hold hope in my heart), but it's like he has a list prepared in front of him, the same excuses in the same order for years. It's impressive really, can't just accept that younger players are better than ever. Has to pretend he's the goat.

 

[Freshtodeath]

DSP is like the poster child for having no work life balance. He looks like a fallout ghoul cause he sits in his office 24/7. At least people who dig trenches get sunlight and exercise. This dude is not healthy at all and its clear he has no idea.

 

[Salubrious]

he's almost no better than straight mashers given even when he is going for something he'll mash it out making his inputs unreliable ("dood, that isn't what I did!!!" haunted controls bullshit).

I forget what game he was playing (it wasn't a fighting game, maybe Crash Bandicoot), but he kept doing something wrong because the action for one button press was different than two button presses, and he actually said that he mashes the button out of habit due to his fighting game days to make sure the input comes out.

 

[harbinger]

but it's like he has a list prepared in front of him

He does. A while back he was playing a fighting game in single player mode. He was getting his ass best and he blurted out something about online lag.

 

[actually]

He does. A while back he was playing a fighting game in single player mode. He was getting his ass best and he blurted out something about online lag.

It was when he was doing the arcade mode in each SF game on the collection where you go through each CPU opponent before fighting the boss villain (Bison or whoever). CPU beat his ass, and he started to spout off about lag before he caught himself. He's also tried to say something about "reverse lag" before...whatever the fuck that might be in his gout-addled mind.

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

It was when he was doing the arcade mode in each SF game on the collection where you go through each CPU opponent before fighting the boss villain (Bison or whoever). CPU beat his ass, and he started to spout off about lag before he caught himself. He's also tried to say something about "reverse lag" before...whatever the fuck that might be in his gout-addled mind.

Is that that predictive input thing that that other game is considering to implement and he went on a piggy squealfest about how it made the game easymode for duh scrubs?

 

[actually]

Is that that predictive input thing that that other game is considering to implement and he went on a piggy squealfest about how it made the game easymode for duh scrubs?

No, it was something way dumber than that. TBH, I don't remember exactly what he was complaining about, but it was something related to online play but not rollback or anything like that.

 

[Salubrious]

I still love how DSP is convinced that if his internet connection is better than his opponent's, then that puts DSP at a disadvantage because his opponent suddenly becomes unblockable.

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

Shit like that doesn't matter if you are good, back in my World of Tanks days you had players on the North American servers from Australia who would clean house with, on a good day, a ping in the mid 200's you just adapt and overcome something he's not capable of as it's easier to bitch about minuscule thing.

 

[Shambler]

doesn't DSP use wifi instead of a wired connection?