Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[not william stenchever]

Okay, I have a game to play. Let's fix the ST, but we can only change the very end of ROS.
Basically, who here can recton this in the funniest way.

Rey uses all the force and accidentally collapses the whole universe into a singularity from which Disney cannot pull out any more beloved memories to be drawn and quartered before our very eyes.

 

[Antipathy]

I've got one as well.
Rey finally cuts down Palpatine, and falls over, exhausted from the effort of singlehandedly saving the galaxy. The screen cuts to black, and then we see Luke, Han, Chewie, and Lando all around a table, holding dice and cards. Lando's smoking something, and Han slams his fist on the table.
"Lando. This is the last time you DM while on deathsticks!" He yells, "What even was that?!"

Lando just looks at the camera and laughs.

 

[Suburban Bastard]

I gotta a feeling Disney is purposefully setting Episode 9 up as another expanded cinematic universe to explore.

Problem with that is, there hasn't been any worldbuilding so far.

 

[Antipathy]

Problem with that is, there hasn't been any worldbuilding so far.

JUST BUY THE FIVE EXPANSION MOVIES, 300 COMICS, AND SEVENTEEN LOOTBOX RIDDLED VIDEO SHITS TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED!

 

[Puddleduck]

I hope Rey dies, and has the Wilhelm Scream.

 

[qu_rahn]

I want to watch evil 3p0 cave her skull in Gregor Clegane style

 

[Judge Holden]

Okay, I have a game to play. Let's fix the ST, but we can only change the very end of ROS.
Basically, who here can recton this in the funniest way.

Rey looks right at the camera and says one word...
Nigger
Cut immediately to credits. Everything is automatically forgiven and I tearfully send flowers and chocolates to Kathleen Kennedy

 

[Creep3r]

Okay, I have a game to play. Let's fix the ST, but we can only change the very end of ROS.
Basically, who here can recton this in the funniest way.

Palpatine kills everyone, takes over the universe, wipes away the past 30 years of shit from galactic history then proceeds to moonlight as a diner owner while serving as Emperor.

Also Disney's pandering to the woke crowd really hasn't paid off. Now they're asking to ban nu-trooper and stormtrooper costumes for being white supremacist symbols and because Trump's family dressed as troopers.

Disney Star Wars Betrayed by Access Media | Cancel Stormtrooper Costumes?

Cancel kids Stormtrooper costumes? The Dinosaur Access Media's insanity knows no limits and it has caused them to turn on their corporate overlords in search...

www.youtube.com

Stormtrooper Halloween Costumes are PROBLEMATIC and SHOULD BE BANNED.

A "daddy blog" is calling for an END to kids' Star Wars Stormtrooper costumes. Because of the ties to the word that rhymes with Yahtzee. No, this is not an O...

www.youtube.com

Let's Cancel the Kids' Star Wars Stormtrooper Costume

This has gone on long enough.

www.yahoo.com

This is the second time they've banned trooper costumes but last time it was at an event, now it's a larger scale appeal for Halloween and future festivities. Nu-Wars just cannot catch a break.

Also in some weirder news, they removed all Star Wars references from the menus at Galaxy's Edge.

PHOTOS: Star Wars Themed Names Removed From Menu Items at Docking Bay 7 Food & Cargo in Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge at Disney's Hollywood Studios - WDW News Today

A daily-updated resource for news and information on the Disney resort around the world.

wdwnt.com

Effectively killing one of the last references to pre-Disney Star Wars lore outside of Dok's shop.

Also here is a new villain from the upcoming Fallen Order game:

Its a "she".

 

[Muttnik]

Honestly, Rey being a lazy stoner that made everything up while on a massive death stick high would make her infinitely more endearing than anything RoS will shit out.

 

[Antipathy]

Honestly, Rey being a lazy stoner that made everything up while on a massive death stick high would make her infinitely more endearing than anything RoS will shit out.

" Rey spits on the ground, grabs another Death Stick and embraces the bittersweet rush of the fickle high that only her favorite drug can give her - and all the wonderful images of her hallucinogenic powertrips conjured by illicit substances carry her into a world where she's powerful and strong, stronger than even a Jedi. "
This fragment of a shitpost by @RomanesEuntDomus has managed to create a more interesting and nuanced character than two whole films made by a multibillion dollar corporation.
Let that sink in.

 

[Muttnik]

" Rey spits on the ground, grabs another Death Stick and embraces the bittersweet rush of the fickle high that only her favorite drug can give her - and all the wonderful images of her hallucinogenic powertrips conjured by illicit substances carry her into a world where she's powerful and strong, stronger than even a Jedi. "
This fragment of a shitpost by @RomanesEuntDomus has managed to create a more interesting and nuanced character than two whole films made by a multibillion dollar corporation.
Let that sink in.

That lowkey gives me the mental image of Stoner!Rey stumbling around OT characters, accidentally getting involved in the plot, and being fucking bewildered at all the shit that goes down. That shit would be hilarious.

 

[Antipathy]

That lowkey gives me the mental image of Stoner!Rey stumbling around OT characters, accidentally getting involved in the plot, and being fucking bewildered at all the shit that goes down. That shit would be hilarious.

She looks high on some shit or another at all times anyway.

 

[CWCissey]

Wasn't there a story going around saying Daisy Ridley was a cokehead?

 

[Revan]

Wasn't there a story going around saying Daisy Ridley was a cokehead?

We didn't need a story to come to that conclusion.

 

[Judge Holden]

Daisy Ridley's pathetic excuse for acting makes a lot more sense when you remember the general quality of acting Disney looks for in its live action properties...

Also she was IIRC explicitly designed to be the blankest possible slate for people to "relate to" which was the exact shit stephanie meyer used with Bella in Twilight and just goes to show how you should never fucking listen to what a consensus of focus groups have to say about "perfect" character writing, since sanding down anything that isnt generic wound up removing anything resembling character or a personality.

Seriously, who the fuck is Rey? When you strip away lazy power boosts and empty snark what defines her as a character? How would you describe her to your friends in terms of her personality and mindset? How does her characterisation change? and most importantly, why should the audience care what happens to her?

All these questions should have had multiple fucking paragraphs written down in definitive answer by the writing team before casting even began.

Daisy Ridley should have been locked in a fucking basement until she could describe her character in such zeal and enthusiasm that even the most cynical normie would be interested in seeing how the character fares, and then she should have had a halfway competent acting coach make sure she communicate this zeal in her performance.

But then here we are again in the land of "maybe if x happened the sequels could have been salvaged!" as we always end up...

 

[Marissa Moira]

Palpatine kills everyone, takes over the universe, wipes away the past 30 years of shit from galactic history then proceeds to moonlight as a diner owner while serving as Emperor.

Also Disney's pandering to the woke crowd really hasn't paid off. Now they're asking to ban nu-trooper and stormtrooper costumes for being white supremacist symbols and because Trump's family dressed as troopers.

Disney Star Wars Betrayed by Access Media | Cancel Stormtrooper Costumes?

Cancel kids Stormtrooper costumes? The Dinosaur Access Media's insanity knows no limits and it has caused them to turn on their corporate overlords in search...

www.youtube.com

Stormtrooper Halloween Costumes are PROBLEMATIC and SHOULD BE BANNED.

A "daddy blog" is calling for an END to kids' Star Wars Stormtrooper costumes. Because of the ties to the word that rhymes with Yahtzee. No, this is not an O...

www.youtube.com

Let's Cancel the Kids' Star Wars Stormtrooper Costume

This has gone on long enough.

www.yahoo.com

This is the second time they've banned trooper costumes but last time it was at an event, now it's a larger scale appeal for Halloween and future festivities. Nu-Wars just cannot catch a break.

Also in some weirder news, they removed all Star Wars references from the menus at Galaxy's Edge.

PHOTOS: Star Wars Themed Names Removed From Menu Items at Docking Bay 7 Food & Cargo in Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge at Disney's Hollywood Studios - WDW News Today

A daily-updated resource for news and information on the Disney resort around the world.

wdwnt.com

Effectively killing one of the last references to pre-Disney Star Wars lore outside of Dok's shop.

Also here is a new villain from the upcoming Fallen Order game:
View attachment 975176
Its a "she".

The bad guy looks like a Judge Dredd character with that mask.

Also I hope the ending where Rey hits the time cube thing with the beam and sets everything back to the ending of Return of the Jedi undoing all of the nu-wars shit is real.

 

[Absolutego]

Daisy Ridley's pathetic excuse for acting makes a lot more sense when you remember the general quality of acting Disney looks for in its live action properties...

Also she was IIRC explicitly designed to be the blankest possible slate for people to "relate to" which was the exact shit stephanie meyer used with Bella in Twilight and just goes to show how you should never fucking listen to what a consensus of focus groups have to say about "perfect" character writing, since sanding down anything that isnt generic wound up removing anything resembling character or a personality.

Seriously, who the fuck is Rey? When you strip away lazy power boosts and empty snark what defines her as a character? How would you describe her to your friends in terms of her personality and mindset? How does her characterisation change? and most importantly, why should the audience care what happens to her?

All these questions should have had multiple fucking paragraphs written down in definitive answer by the writing team before casting even began.

Daisy Ridley should have been locked in a fucking basement until she could describe her character in such zeal and enthusiasm that even the most cynical normie would be interested in seeing how the character fares, and then she should have had a halfway competent acting coach make sure she communicate this zeal in her performance.

But then here we are again in the land of "maybe if x happened the sequels could have been salvaged!" as we always end up...

I liked Daisy Ridley's performance well enough in TFA. Most of the problems you listed above have very little to do with the actor and much more to do with the writing and direction, where she doesn't make the decisions. With how little material she had to work with she was plenty charismatic. The way what small hints as to a personality she had in TFA were completely stripped out in TLJ almost makes me wonder if Kennedy got jealous that someone other than her was getting credit for the """success""" of her self-insert.

All three of the actors playing Disney's donut steels of the OT leads are way better than the material they're given to work with (probably in ascending order of Boyega -> Ridley -> Isaacs), which is why I'm not surprised every single one of them has been quite blunt and brusque in interviews that they have no plans to be in any further Star Wars movies after episode IX.

 

[BrunoMattei]

A thought occurred to me:

Rian Johnson claims he's a fan of the OT but his movie goes out of its way to dismantle everything good about those movies. This reminds me of John K's Yogi Bear shorts.

John has his own thread here (TLDR: narcissistic pedophile one hit wonder animator) but I think there's similarities here. You have people who claim they are fans of something and when they get the chance to work on that IP the result is a complete mockery towards that IP.

 

[Antipathy]

Daisy Ridley's pathetic excuse for acting makes a lot more sense when you remember the general quality of acting Disney looks for in its live action properties...

Also she was IIRC explicitly designed to be the blankest possible slate for people to "relate to" which was the exact shit stephanie meyer used with Bella in Twilight and just goes to show how you should never fucking listen to what a consensus of focus groups have to say about "perfect" character writing, since sanding down anything that isnt generic wound up removing anything resembling character or a personality.

Seriously, who the fuck is Rey? When you strip away lazy power boosts and empty snark what defines her as a character? How would you describe her to your friends in terms of her personality and mindset? How does her characterisation change? and most importantly, why should the audience care what happens to her?

All these questions should have had multiple fucking paragraphs written down in definitive answer by the writing team before casting even began.

Daisy Ridley should have been locked in a fucking basement until she could describe her character in such zeal and enthusiasm that even the most cynical normie would be interested in seeing how the character fares, and then she should have had a halfway competent acting coach make sure she communicate this zeal in her performance.

But then here we are again in the land of "maybe if x happened the sequels could have been salvaged!" as we always end up...

I have made that first point so many times and I'm glad to see that people are either also drawing the same conclusions or are just taking my arguments and spreading them. Let's go over and look at Luke, and Mark Hamill's attitude towards Luke.

Mark Hamill loves the character of Luke Skywalker. From my knowledge, Ford hated his role, Fisher was indifferent, and Hamill fucking loved it. He has such a passion for his character that it actually physically hurts to see him so heartbroken, and I only want to tell him that we're sorry for what happened to him (as a fanbase), and that we just wished things were better for him. He's gone on and on about Luke's determination and hope, and how he was a hothead, and how he was a dreamer, etc. etc. etc.

Ridley, by comparison, is basically unable to draw emotions from Rey. Her interviews boil down to trite details that avoid the sheer dullness of her Mary Sue projection fodder. Rey does not make actions, she only passively responds to the environment she is in. For a character with essentially infinite power, she is shockingly impotent at altering the world around her actively. She solves an immediate problem and then returns to slackjawedly stumbling about, like a zombie.

 

[Optimus Prime]

The 'woke' crowd want the stormtroopers gone because they're a white supremacist symbol?

Well, no fucking shit, they're the fucking bad guys! The Empire has always been basically Space Facism. Why should the bad guys have to conform to what is 'acceptable' given they're supposed to be doing shit that isn't acceptable?

You have people who claim they are fans of something and when they get the chance to work on that IP the result is a complete mockery towards that IP.

Reminds me of the biggest problem when it came to the Michael Bay films: for whatever reason, they decided that humans were necessary for the audience to 'empathize' and 'relate' to the robots.

The blatantly bipedal, very human like robots.

With Star Wars, it's like the least interesting thing is the fact it takes place in space and there are big ass battles. TLJ had exactly one battle before it's reduced to an incredibly boring spaceship chase to literally buy time to do shit with Rey before dragging her back into the actual main plot.