Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Can't wait for the trailer, it'll give us much more to make fun of.

 

[Antipathy]

This trailer will give this thread the kick in the pants it needs to truly start churning out memes and analysis.

 

[Marco Fucko]

The thing I'm really interested in is going to be what the box office looks like. I want to see if the general public is really turned off after TLJ and if so what happens at Disney corporate. This thread's probably already covered it but supposedly they're still shooting and have multiple possible endings, which is always a good sign (/sneed).

I'm torn between buying a ticket to keep the shitshow going and watching a bootleg to make the ST suffer even more.

 

[Antipathy]

The thing I'm really interested in is going to be what the box office looks like. I want to see if the general public is really turned off after TLJ and if so what happens at Disney corporate. This thread's probably already covered it but supposedly they're still shooting and have multiple possible endings, which is always a good sign (/sneed).

I'm torn between buying a ticket to keep the shitshow going and watching a bootleg to make the ST suffer even more.

Don't buy a ticket: the harder this fails, the greater the chimpout will be. The real show isn't Star Wars anymore, the real show is behind the scenes.
Also have some graphs and charts and crap that shows the general public's opinion. It's not looking so hot.

I'll check Google Trends again on the 22nd or 23rd, after the trailer drops tomorrow night. That way we'll see the hype/lack thereof.

Edit: as a note, this was the dropoff for a main film after TFA. We haven't had a 'numbered' Star Wars movie since TLJ, so the total torpedoing of the franchise is probably even worse.

 

[Marco Fucko]

Don't buy a ticket: the harder this fails, the greater the chimpout will be. The real show isn't Star Wars anymore, the real show is behind the scenes.
Also have some graphs and charts and crap that shows the general public's opinion. It's not looking so hot.

I'll check Google Trends again on the 22nd or 23rd, after the trailer drops tomorrow night. That way we'll see the hype/lack thereof.

That utter, crushing indifference. Holy shit Mickey, good job.

 

[Ghostse]

Don't buy anything Star Wars-branded either. Box office will be less important than merch.

 

[Antipathy]

That utter, crushing indifference. Holy shit Mickey, good job.

Don't buy anything Star Wars-branded either. Box office will be less important than merch.

Someone had a bunch of data on how the toys were failing as well. Not things that could be written off, but hard numbers from Disney themselves.

I don't have that information, but merch is tanking as well.

 

[PeeveTheSheev]

I'm torn between buying a ticket to keep the shitshow going and watching a bootleg to make the ST suffer even more.

You, I, and everyone else in this thread will buy a ticket to the new Jumanji or an arthouse flick of your choosing, and inexpciably lose your way in the theater only to end up in an unoccupied seat in a showing of TROS just as the opening crawl moves into view.

I recommend you visit a cinema that allows you to book specific seats online so as to be well aware of where the empty spots are. Actually buying a ticket to TROS is to betray everything the autistic denizens of this thread stand for.

 

[Antipathy]

You, I, and everyone else in this thread will buy a ticket to the new Jumanji or an arthouse flick of your choosing, and inexpciably lose your way in the theater only to end up in an unoccupied seat in a showing of TROS just as the opening crawl moves into view.

I recommend you visit a cinema that allows you to book specific seats online so as to be well aware of where the empty spots are. Actually buying a ticket to TROS is to betray everything the autistic denizens of this thread stand for.

We know for a fact that this movie will be an uncomfortable shitheap that will leave us, 2 and a half hours later, furious and feeling betrayed. Why even waste that time?

Time is the one thing you can't get more of. Spending hours doing something you know will be unpleasant, for no reward, under no coercion, is irrational. What is the rationale? Closure? Schadenfreude? Sadomasochism? Conditioned consumerism?

We can wait for people to tear this film apart. We will get more enjoyment the emptier the theaters. The emptier the theaters, the worse ROS will seem. If a theater is even a quarter filled with people who haven't paid to be there, that isn't as damning as a totally empty lot. The less people go to movies, the worse off theaters will be, the bigger the flop, and thus the bigger the tantrums from Lucasfilm and Disney.

I think you want to go because I believe you still have a bit of hope left. Abandon it. Take that hope, take that tiny chance, that optimistic spark screaming that things will be okay, and, if you cannot crush it, wall it off.

There's nothing left, and it's time to go.

 

[Puddleduck]

I was thinking earlier - "everyone knows" that lightsabers can cut through anything, but is that actually canon? I don't think it was ever stated, and off the top of my head the only things which aren't other blades or body parts which it hit were crap Vader was throwing at Luke in Empire, trees in TFA, and maybe stuff in Snoke's throneroom.
Plus, Qui Gon was struggling to cut through the blast doors in Phantom Menace. Sure, they were crumbling away, but he didn't fully succeed.

 

[Judge Holden]

TBH If I really feel the need to watch this coming clusterfuck, I will simply default to the ancestral calling of all englishmen...

No need to plan some complex ticket switcharoo, anne frankly I was never going to watch it for the effects so quality aint exactly an issue, and it will be far easier to get ripshit on cheap hooch watching it at home

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

The thing I'm really interested in is going to be what the box office looks like. I want to see if the general public is really turned off after TLJ and if so what happens at Disney corporate. This thread's probably already covered it but supposedly they're still shooting and have multiple possible endings, which is always a good sign (/sneed).

I'm going to be beyond disappointed if this movie brings in more than a billion. I want this movie to be an utter commercial failure and go down in history as a genre killing movie, to be named alongside Heaven's Gate or Cutthroat Island as what killed this whole era of Hollywood. I want this to be as disastrous to Star Wars as Batman and Robin was to superhero films. I want to be able to tell people 50 years that I got to follow the making of this box office H-bomb and reap the sweet payoff as it failed worse than anyone could've imagined. I want this movie to be the first thing anyone thinks of when they think of Star Wars both in 2019 and in 2119, just because it was as much of an utter, era-defining failure as the original Star Wars was an utter, era-defining success.

All I want for Christmas is for this movie to fail, is that too much to ask for?

I'm torn between buying a ticket to keep the shitshow going and watching a bootleg to make the ST suffer even more.

Get your bros together and watch a bootleg. Public intoxication is illegal and this movie sounds only tolerable to watch when drunk as hell so to amplify the insanity (or ease the pain) of the funeral of Star Wars.

 

[Antipathy]

I was thinking earlier - "everyone knows" that lightsabers can cut through anything, but is that actually canon? I don't think it was ever stated, and off the top of my head the only things which aren't other blades or body parts which it hit were crap Vader was throwing at Luke in Empire, trees in TFA, and maybe stuff in Snoke's throneroom.
Plus, Qui Gon was struggling to cut through the blast doors in Phantom Menace. Sure, they were crumbling away, but he didn't fully succeed.

The technical answer to this is that a lightsaber does not exactly cut as much as it does burn things in a narrow area. So if a material is particularly heat resistant, or even just isn't struck with enough force, it'll either survive for a while, or will only be charred on the surface. Those blast doors were thick and quite possibly heat resistant, so it makes sense that it would take time to cut through them.

So yes, but actually no, but actually yes, is the shorthand. With enough time, a lightsaber can cut through basically anything (except exotic materials like Cortosis or Phrick, which actually shorts out lightsabers), barring another lightsaber, or any extremely bizarre, heat resistant and dense material. It would not make sense for a lightsaber to cut open a neutron star's surface, for instance.

 

[PeeveTheSheev]

Why even waste that time?

Because I take pleasure in watching the world burn.

 

[Antipathy]

Because I take pleasure in watching the world burn.

Go laugh at Somalia, then, at least that's hilariously fucked up.
This is just like a sad old man regretting everything on his deathbed.

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

Speaking of lightsabers, look at how they move between each trilogy:

Before I went back to look, I thought that the characteristic lightsaber swish was cut out of the ST and replaced with just straight solid sticks, but they're not. They have the visual swishes or swipes, but they're so much faster that you notice them less than in George's trilogies, even in the PT when they were cleaned up and looked more solid then too. It's such a noticeable thing about lightsabers that I thought they weren't even in the new movies. Turns out they're there, but either there's too few lightsaber fights, or the few that are there are just bad, for lack of a better explanation.

With the exception of Rogue One, they don't quite look or feel like lightsabers; in TFA they feel way too heavy, while in TLJ there isn't even an actual lightsaber fight. The magic of lightsabers is missing, and based on what we've seen of TRoS so far, it's not coming back.

Robot Head really nailed it in hindsight:

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

I'm going to be beyond disappointed if this movie brings in more than a billion. I want this movie to be an utter commercial failure and go down in history as a genre killing movie, to be named alongside Heaven's Gate or Cutthroat Island as what killed this whole era of Hollywood. I want this to be as disastrous to Star Wars as Batman and Robin was to superhero films. I want to be able to tell people 50 years that I got to follow the making of this box office H-bomb and reap the sweet payoff as it failed worse than anyone could've imagined. I want this movie to be the first thing anyone thinks of when they think of Star Wars both in 2019 and in 2119, just because it was as much of an utter, era-defining failure as the original Star Wars was an utter, era-defining success.

All I want for Christmas is for this movie to fail, is that too much to ask for?

A small part of me is almost afraid they might actually make something barely servicable... but then I remember how the Star Trek reboot was fucked up, how STD was fucked up and how these people never learned what they were doing wrong and just doubled down on their stupid decisions. It'll be the same with IX.
They will sort of understand that they need to change stuff, but it'll be 1 step forward, 2 steps back.

They introduce Ackbars son und try to herald Ackbar as a war hero in a comic that ultimately calls him a shitty, dismissive dad.
IX will try to patch over the wounds from TLJ but double down on stuff that'll make Luke look even worse.
Like implying that it was Luke's fault for not propperly killing Palpatine.

I almost expect them to reveal that Vader actually wasn't redeemed in the end of RotJ. He sensed that the Death Star would be blown up, so he grabbed Palpatine and threw him into the shaft cause JJ now claims that somehow activated a system that saved the emperor and the blue "explosion" was actually a force field to catch and protect him.

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

You're welcome, Itchy. Keep up the good work.

Did Jason Ward Author The Exogol Reddit Leaks?

As many readers of this blog are aware, Jason Ward from MakingStarWars.net has been revealed to have given rival websites fake spoilers for the purposes of discrediting them. Jason Ward is also th…

disneystarwarsisdumb.wordpress.com

Hopefully the truth comes out tomorrow. I'm just hoping for good entertainment.

EDIT: Scratch that, it's happening. Trailer drops tomorrow night, Monday night football:

NFL on ESPN on Twitter

“What has @StarWars meant to @Edelman11, @mosesbread72 and @thatLGUY over the years? They share their stories as part of #TheRiseOfSkywalker campaign. https://t.co/XFuHdCvEwm”

twitter.com

 

[Campbell-Duo]

Im just waiting for the sequel shitshow to end so i can fully check out of star wars

 

[InsolentGaylord]

I have no fucking clue how the people behind Lucasfilm are so spiteful and unlikeable. And the fake leak shit just sounds like they are trying to generate negative publicity which I think sounds fucking dumb.

Are they trying to lower people's expectations so much they will be "surprised" by how much better it was than their expectations or some shit?