Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

Dr W said:
We have someone with a soul on the inside, perhaps.
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The real resistance lives :semperfidelis:

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The force be with that brave soul. What if it was John Boyega lmao
 
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The handsome tard said:
You can even make zombie stories with Star Wars (ala the novel Dark Troopers).
Sith holocrom creating zombies feels too fitting to have never happen, since they love to try to cheat death, eventually they would cause something like that to happen.
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They made Star Wars Zombies in the 3D Clone Wars. It involved brain parasites.
 
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neverendingmidi said:
Horses. Charging at guns.



Motherfuckers better have somebody dramatically reciting "Charge of the Light Brigade" in some alien language for the pure stupidity of this.
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Half a parsec, half a parsec,
Half a parsec more,
All in the Sequel of Death,
Rode the...maybe twenty?
"Forward, Women of Color!
Charge for the guns!," she said
Into the Sequel of Death
Rode the maybe twenty.

"Forward, Women of Color!"
Was there a woman dismayed?
Not though the actors knew
Someone had blundered.
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to shill or die.
Into the Sequel of Death
Rode the maybe twenty.

Fan nerds to the right of them,
Fan nerds further right than them,
Fan nerds further right again,
Their laughter thundered.
Scorned at with meme and leak,
They rode on, full of pique,
Into lame trailer scenes,
Into the opening week
Rode the maybe twenty.

Flashed their lightsabers bare
Flashed as they turned in air
Sabring the Imperials there,
Charging a star fleet while
All the fans wondered.
"What the fuck did JJ smoke?
Is this all a fucking joke?
Kennedy and Iger,
This is going to make you broke!
Disney's going under."
Then they posted more, but not
Not the maybe twenty.

Fan nerds to the right of them,
Fan nerds to the left of them,
Fan nerds in the center, too,
All bayed with laughter.
Scorned at with meme made well,
While whole careers fell,
They that had tried to sell
A new Star Wars sequel,
"All of that shilling - hell!
And the only tickets sold
Were maybe one and twenty."

When can their glory fade?
"This time next Saturday,"
Joked the 4channer.
Laugh at the charge they made!
Laugh at the Star Wars brigade,
The woke maybe-twenty!
 
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From the leaked google doc:

Rey reportedly lies on the ground and begins to concentrate calmly but hard. She reaches out to the Force asking for help and she finally begins to commune with the Jedi of the past. Among the voices that she hears during this time are Obi-Wan, Ahsoka among others, and finally Leia.
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Why in this last fucking movie do you introduce someone from the goddamn cartoons that you've never told anyone about and only the hardcore fans will recognize her. Furthermore you have 2/3 weakest jedi's (leia and Ben) with ashoka not completing her training and going off message into doing her own shit. Where the hell is literally ANYONE from Revenge of the Sith on the jedi council that could probably be a match for Palpatine and/or helping ReySue.

Christ even the fan service sucks.
 
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Reverend said:
From the leaked google doc:



Why in this last fucking movie do you introduce someone from the goddamn cartoons that you've never told anyone about and only the hardcore fans will recognize her. Furthermore you have 2/3 weakest jedi's (leia and Ben) with ashoka not completing her training and going off message into doing her own shit. Where the hell is literally ANYONE from Revenge of the Sith on the jedi council that could probably be a match for Palpatine and/or helping ReySue.

Christ even the fan service sucks.
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They forgot kit fisto. Unacceptable.
 
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Reading over the leak compilation google doc and this bit struck me as particularly exceptional
Seeing Ben arrive pleases Sidious. Palpatine then uses his power to bond them together and begins to syphon power from them and direct it into himself.
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Doesn't this directly contradict Luke's statements in TLJ?
Lesson one, sit here, legs crossed. The Force is not a power you have.
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These fucking idiots cant even get their in-trilogy theology right.
 
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Dr W said:
Spread the flame.
Burn this rot.
Salt the earth and purge the lands so that nothing may grow here again for a thousand years.

Today, at last, we lay a corpse to rest.
Today, Star Wars finally, finally, mercifully dies.

Let's slide the knife, Kiwis. Spread the spoilers. We are the autistic illuminati.
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I'm with you man, I'm spreading the spoilers as far as possible. Fuck Disney.
 
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AGreatDipAtAFairPrice said:
The spoilers I see all say Kylo dies by being thrown in a pit. How does he "rise" again? Is that what is being hidden?
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I don't think he literally rises. There's two leaks about this but one has a different ending but agree that Emo Ren dies at Palpatine's hands. One claims that he dies and gets thrown down a hole, then comes back as a force ghost along with all past jedi to give Rey their powers and make her the Avatar. The other claims this also happens but after the battle Avatar Rey uses her power to revive Kylo Ren who then accompanies them to Tatooine at the end. I'm more likely to believe him staying dead, since him being alive would take away from Rey's sueness by having a strong independent woman permanently settle down and take the last name of her bf's grandad.
Tsusaba109 said:
Hmm I'm not sure if that Emperor picture is real. Wasn't he in a black outfit hooked on life support in the trailer?
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I think I explained this before in the leak I posted. Palpatine first appears old, weak and crippled, but after killing Ren he absorbs his powers to rejuvenate himself, becoming young and powerful again. Also his outfit only has dashes of red.

Still... we already have that pic of Palpy shooting lightning so that pretty much confirms shit, but as expected his role is dismally short.

But if the rumors about him just being a hologram or highly advanced droid are true (courtesy of Doomcock of which I'm skeptical) then I could see that happening since the shitty Palpatine clone droids from EA Battlefront 2's shitty storyline has Palpatine using droids with his identity dressed in red carrying out his will to destroy his own Empire for re-tarded reasons. If it is a sentinal droid with max electric beams, then this movie will be even more disappointing than I thought.
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But I'm inclined to believe the picture of him that just came out shooting bolts looks legit.
 
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