حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Dalish]

Surely, you're joking. When I friended her briefly on Facebook, she constantly messaged me while I was busy with homework. There were literally pages of messages. I shit you not.

 

[Pine Tar]

Alright, @Connor, here's how you get her off your back. Just show your all your posts on Wrong Planet. That'll get her off you.

 

[Arkangel]

Unless her stalking goes beyond the internet and starts encroaching on your real world life, then all you can do is block and ignore.

Also, did you finish writing that resume? I hunger for hat!

 

[Squealer]

Christ Connor, you are literally the dumbest regular on this godamn forum. Whipping boy personified you are.

 

[wagglyplacebo]

If you want her away from you just flash her a smile.

 

[Meowthkip]

Surely, you're joking. When I friended her briefly on Facebook, she constantly messaged me while I was busy with homework. There were literally pages of messages. I shit you not.

How is that worse than what you did to that poor aspie girl?

C'mon, son.

 

[Locksnap]

Did you seriously come back just to brag about having some apparently ugly woman be into you?

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Yo @Connor, after seeing this pretty terrible display of character why should we feel bad for you? Or try to help you for that matter? What were you trying to accomplish here exactly?

 

[fuzzypickles]

Consider this your just desserts for being a creepy ass stalker yourself.

 

[Connor Bible]

Also, did you finish writing that resume? I hunger for hat!

There are still portions that need filling. I'll do an internship at the library when it warms up.

 

[Ronald Gaygun]

There are still portions that need filling. I'll do an internship at the library when it warms up.

Why not do one now?

 

[Chipmunk's Bounty]

Hey, Connor! I'm rewriting my resume and working on a paper due tomorrow, then going for a run tonight. Want to join me?

 

[Zvantastika]

There are still portions that need filling. I'll do an internship at the library when it warms up.

Which portions?, need help spelling your name and address?

 

[Smutley]

Warehouse manager: "Smutley, what ever happened to that nerd you talked about who was crazy over Molly Ringwald?"
Smutley: "Well he threw a bitch fit on Saturday, vaguely hinted he was going to kill himself, and then left forever for like, a day."
WM: "Ha ha ha, wait... What does he look like?"
Smutley: "He's a short fat glasses wearing nerd who rarely bathes and has some kind of lisp"
WM: "Just how I pictured him. Thank God some stereotypes still hold true."

It's been a hell of a day. Let's decompress with Wrong Planet, Part 29.

How I wish I knew what this post was

Spoiler

Ohhh I finally figured out what Connor's big fucking problem with The Breakfast Club is. See, as he describes, the "cold, selfish, borderline-sociopathic" Ms. Johnson... demands that her son use his time in study hall to productively study in a "brief exchange". That's it. A parent telling their high school aged fuck up "Okay since you have to be at school on a Saturday maybe stop being such a slacker asshole and do your fucking job, which is being a student" is abuse. Also he ignores this advice he has given multiple times in the past month. Ha ha ha you're such a retard Connor.

Spoiler

Don't worry, Connor Bible of Port Royal South Carolina doesn't just heil veterans with nazi salutes. Connor Bible of Port Royal South Carolina who attends Beaufort Community College also heils the flag with nazi salutes during the Pledge of Allegiance. While attending Beaufort High School. Which was only 2 years ago.

Spoiler

I've been reluctant to post things from his newest Wrong Planet account so he doesn't get too spooked, but in this case I have to. See, Connor wants to write some kind of play for his drama teacher as a "gift", and has been talking about it for years.

Spoiler

Oh my god you fat fuck shut up about Juno have you even watched it yet or is it the only movie about adoption you know of?!

Spoiler

Considering Connor has admitted this at least twenty times across multiple websites I have a very hard time believing he's "ashamed". Also, I'm not sure fighting means "doing it 3 times a day, every day"

Spoiler

Godzilla is a literal animal, with an animals intelligence except for the few times that was glossed over in a very loosely contained series of films. He is not "sociopathic" or a "mass murderer", traits that are only able to be applied to beings with high intelligence.

Spoiler

Don't want to come off as too hipster but Connor, if you want to write on a REAL typewriter you should buy a Vintage Royal. You'll look more like a real writer and build up some beefy forearms pounding the keys.

Spoiler

Connor has this fear of betrayal that comes from no where, and he has - surprise! - been talking about it for years as well as using it as justification for his actions.

Spoiler

Another discovery. Connor doesn't want to fuck actual belly buttons, he wants to fuck life itself

Spoiler

I don't even know what he's trying to say

Spoiler

"Think about that for a second"

Spoiler

I love starting a section with "I wasn't going to post this BUT" because this is the normal "ME WANT GIRLFRIEND" post. What isn't normal is just how quickly he 180's

Spoiler

 

[Meowthkip]

There are still portions that need filling. I'll do an internship at the library when it warms up.

When what warms up? The internship? Or do you mean, like, the weather?

This is why you are not a good writer.

 

[Locksnap]

There are still portions that need filling. I'll do an internship at the library when it warms up.

Warms up? More like when hell freezes over. You had the resume DONE last time we saw it, and even that took far too long.

 

[Pine Tar]

Spoiler: This is what Connor sees himself as

Spoiler: This is how everyone else sees Connor

 

[Connor Bible]

Why not do one now?

I'm busy with math, you fucking asshat.

 

[Molly Ringwald]

Did you seriously come back just to brag about having some apparently ugly woman be into you?

He came to tell of this:

I am the Godly man she's been looking for.

Clearly he has ascended to God of Fungus status.

 

[applecat]

There are still portions that need filling. I'll do an internship at the library when it warms up.

God knows people only work jobs when it's pleasant outside.