Shambler
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2019
trolls can't invade his wwe game so, DEBUNKED
DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion
- Thread starter A Witty Name
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Draventren
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2019
The 25% Itlian Connection
Chief: Dammit Burnell, you can't just arrest people for shit talking on the internet.
DSP: Uh, well maybe I should be able to if those fucking retard lawmakers knew better. Fucking idiots, not making this country troll proof.
Gout Boys
Chief: Dammit Burnell, you're a loose cannon, we're assigning you a partner. Meet Detective Burnett
DSP: (Bites nails)
Chingchongtown
Chief: Burnell, what's this I'm hearing about you arresting Shigaru Miamoto?
DSP: That ching-chong's a thief! He stole my ad revenue!
Chief: Dammit Burnell! He's not a citizen! I want your badge and your gun on my desk!
DSP: Fucking bugged law mechanics dood.
PieceofShet
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2017
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2014
Phil has no shame in begging “for the bills” but he couldn’t be assed to beg for some wedding money to provide his wife an actually nice ring (as opposed to a mall ring on sale) and a nice wedding. Not even an actual makeup artist. Nope, mom will do it. Feels bad man.
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2018
Nightwatchman is the ideal post: maximum truth, minimum bullshit as he used to say which translates to believing in my own delusions while changing as little as possible about the way I live my life.
Late night security really is ticket because the only thing he would have to change is his location. Swap a dusty office for a dusty front desk and a crusty mario bros shirt for a navy blue with buttons. Everything else remains the same. No sleep alteration required because he already sits up half the night relieving "stress" on twitter after a little gincitement. Bonus points for getting home to sleep during the day and continuing to avoid sunlight like the ectoplasm hacking spook he's become. There'd be no attitude adjustment either because he wouldn't have to deal with the public in the wee small hours.. instead being posted as security would just feed right into his paranoia that someone is out there in the shadows and they could come and get him at any moment - he's got his trusty handaxe in the drawer beside him. I'm sure it would also make him feel like a tough guy all the way up until he had to deal with an actual trespasser and realises he can't get one of his 14 year old expendables to do the work for him on a laptop halfway across the world.
His duties would amount to little more than doing his rounds.. so that takes care of his daily 20 Minute Walk Around House exercise routine. They're practically paying him to get jacked again dood. The rest of his time would be spent talking to himself (which he's effectively been doing for a decade now anyway) and indulging his internet/social media addiction on his phone. His life stories would maintain the same level of drama that they do now.. spending upwards of 20 minutes explaining to his loving wife (in khamedic fashion) how the vending machine stole his money, fucked him over and how he'll never deal with it ever again uhuhuh.
Sadly this fantasy ending that sees Phil's Real Life Redemption Run smooth out will never come to pass because they won't pay him $150k a year to do this tahxing work that he himself believes he deserves.
AckedyACK
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2019
WWE really seems to crank Phil's autism up to 11: rocking back and forth, commentating stupid shit on every single little thing as if anyone gives a shit, explaining boring trivia every chance he gets, doing full clown-mode voices...
But sure, he bought it for shits and giggles because of "the bugs ACKACKACK"
But sure, he bought it for shits and giggles because of "the bugs ACKACKACK"
THEKINGOFGOUTVLOGS
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2019
I wonder what kind of audience is he even trying to attract when he plays WWE 2k20
It's buggy as hell, I doubt anyone over 18 would roflmao at it, maybe find it amusing at most, and the recent doxing showed his whales are at least well over 25 with decent jobs (except for that dog fluffer). So, again, what audience is he trying to target? Unless his typical whales actually find it hilarious enough to give Dave a week's worth of salary then it's just sad
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2018
Quite odd that the only thing he gets super excited about revolves around sweaty dudes in underwear play fighting.
JustcallmeVi
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2019
I really do enjoy how pigroach has to actually complain with his fans and say they don't know what they're talking about and having to spend $60-$120 dollars on games in this apparently pivotal week where he needs to raise funds to pay off his khando. That's a great way to alienate your viewers, old and new. Call them idiots and don't even try to take their advice
"More toxic, more toxic."
Also, I both love and hate that fucking deep sigh he did when he apparently realized he had to buy the game again. More whining begging = more sympathy and therefore more funds to spend on piece of shit games like WWE and fucking Plants VS Zombies instead of newer ones that could maybe net him new viewers and new whales.
He could play older games on a harder difficulty or pull out some other challenge mode for them: streamers do it all the time (Cohhcarnage replays games all the time and his chat looks forward to it). He is literally so bereft of imagination and so sensitive to a few chat members chanting "boring" that he has to rely on those Day One. . .or bust. That or Minecraft I guess.
DiabeticSP
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2017
How did a troll joining his game even affect him in a multiplayer fps where he has mics muted?
Also he's obsessed with playing WWE because he unironically loves wrassling but Kat has apparently banned it from his life so this is his only outlet for his only true hobby.
Also he's obsessed with playing WWE because he unironically loves wrassling but Kat has apparently banned it from his life so this is his only outlet for his only true hobby.
PieceofShet
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2017
Next time someone gets lucky and being able to use his mic on dsp, play the soundclip of him saying" I would slap that 11yo girl ack ack ack".
EDIT:
I will never fukin understand this excuse. Is he too lazy to look at the spam folder? Also using guides for TOW
EDIT:
I will never fukin understand this excuse. Is he too lazy to look at the spam folder? Also using guides for TOW
Last edited:
THEKINGOFGOUTVLOGS
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2019
He was supposed to play Stardew Valley in December last year and Mass Effect 2 in August this year because it was a "slow month"
I remember this becaused I asked him in the chat, but, no, let's fucking play a PvZ game which no one asked for
What the fuck
Either a gin fueled tweet or another boomer moment of his
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2018
My guess is that someone told him that just by opening the spam folder you can get a virus, which is less likely now a days, so he just stays away from it
THEKINGOFGOUTVLOGS
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2019
He went on a huge ass rant because someone asked him in a donation message if he could do a DSP Tries It on stream once a week
"I can't do that! I know some streamers have this weird segment, but I don't do that! My stream is a gaming stream! Thank you for understanding." (said very passive aggressive)
No eating food on stream because it's a gaming stream dood, not a food stream. So much of a gaming stream when the first hour and a half of your stream is dedicated to crying about bills and begging people to send you money via PayPal rather than cheer or sub
"I can't do that! I know some streamers have this weird segment, but I don't do that! My stream is a gaming stream! Thank you for understanding." (said very passive aggressive)
No eating food on stream because it's a gaming stream dood, not a food stream. So much of a gaming stream when the first hour and a half of your stream is dedicated to crying about bills and begging people to send you money via PayPal rather than cheer or sub
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2018
Hasn't he been using guides of some kind for years? This isn't news.
Why can't he open the spam folder though? Seems like he's either scared to open it (which makes no sense I know) or he genuinely doesn't understand he can open it. What a strange, strange man.
PieceofShet
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2017
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2018
He probably doesn't look in his spam folder because he sends emails there that he doesn't want to read and then immediately deleted it (or has it set to auto delete.)
DSP refuses to rent out his CT condo because the property management company called him instead of emailed him.
DSP complained during his "mutual release" rant from Machinima that the support agent was the one that notified him that Machinima was releasing him from his contract "against his wishes." DSP literally complained that a guy "he didn't want to contact him anymore" let him know he was being fired.
Edit: Holy shit, DSP is going on a rant about how he couldn't go to the zoo for six months because he doesn't have any time.
He's also sarcastically talking about people that have children and manage to do more than DSP claims he can do.
These are ridiculous unfair comparisons; everyone is different.
DSP refuses to rent out his CT condo because the property management company called him instead of emailed him.
DSP complained during his "mutual release" rant from Machinima that the support agent was the one that notified him that Machinima was releasing him from his contract "against his wishes." DSP literally complained that a guy "he didn't want to contact him anymore" let him know he was being fired.
Edit: Holy shit, DSP is going on a rant about how he couldn't go to the zoo for six months because he doesn't have any time.
He's also sarcastically talking about people that have children and manage to do more than DSP claims he can do.
These are ridiculous unfair comparisons; everyone is different.
Perpetual Outrage
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2019
You really, really don't want to see Phil playing shit on harder difficulties. There's no amount of hyperbole that can be considered hyperbole when it comes to seeing how truly bad at gaming he is.
Exhibit 1: Silent Hill 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c01zxJN6a6o
Enjoy 3 1/2 hours of Phil's mummy like reflexes, needing chat to tell him every single little thing to do, and yet somehow ignoring chat yelling at him to stop trying to kill every single monster and just run past them, then ending up at the final boss with no ammo because he tried killing everything.
He swore he was never going to play another game on Hard again.
C'mon guys, he's lazy but now it's everybody else not seeing the forest for the trees. All detractors know his email, his spam folder probably gets hundreds or thousands of emails a day from shit people signed him up to, so finding something in it would probably be legit hard.
Of course he's too lazy to just change the email, so well played.
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2018
For me the worst part of that playthrough is that he managed to somehow beat the final boss on basically a glitch (likely thanks to the shitty HD remaster he was playing). He deserved to have to rage quit, he deserved to be forced to walk away due to how bad he played. Instead, he dumb lucked his way through.
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