Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Manwithn0n0men]

Did Rose lose one hundred pounds after TLJ and then put it all back on for the movie? I know Disney wouldn't dare body shame Kelly Marie Tran.

Kelly gained weight to play rose

 

[The handsome tard]

3: To make you give a fuck about Rose, Marvel is releasing a new comic showing Rey and Rose working together to prove that they're totally friends now. They're really trying to lay on this forced friendship shit by only showing it outside the movie rather than the movie itself.

I almost didnt recognize Rose,like, holy shit, that chick actually looks kind of good looking, Rose...not so much.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

So they may be considering making a Kylo Ren prequel movie...
I guess they must've realized that the entirety of the nu-fanbase are just horny idiots who want to fuck Kylo Ren or want to see him get fucked by Rey. Fuck, now I really REALLY hope IX bombs just to see Disney-Lucasfilm freak out and start cancelling a bunch of projects. After Solo they basically cancelled all their OT-focused content and then moved it to Disney+, so they probably thought people only wanted sequel shit. If this bombs too I can't wait to see them running around like headless chickens trying to make sense of shit as they cancel the Marvel comics, new films and future EA projects. Icing on the cake would be them admitting they fucked up, but that's unlikely.

Well, I can see where they are coming from, they should flesh out their characters a little and it might be interesting to explore the past of one of their main villains.
If only they had had the chance to do that in any of the previous 5 hours of movie time to adress that, geez.

This is so fucking dumb.

3: To make you give a fuck about Rose, Marvel is releasing a new comic showing Rey and Rose working together to prove that they're totally friends now. They're really trying to lay on this forced friendship shit by only showing it outside the movie rather than the movie itself.

That's frankly more Rose content than I was expecting.
Also, the Mon Tanamari look atrocious.

9: Crappy Death Star Destroyers confirmed and one is used in the movie to blow up a planet.

Would be amusing if its not-Tatooine 2.0.

and

Yeah, it was mentioned in one of the leaks but now its confirmed completely. Its an entire fleet of Super Death Star Destroyers because they desperately needed a new super weapon.

Oh god. What is even the point? Weren't a bajillion Star Destroyers not enough?
Now they need to be as powerful as a Death Star, too? Where does the Star Destroyer even take all that energy from and how is that gun so small and yet so effective?
If that thing is en par with the Dreadnaught from TLJ, I could almost live with it and in a better movie, it might be worth a damn, too.

Kelly gained weight to play rose

Did she? That would be so sad.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Crappy Death Star Destroyers confirmed and one is used in the movie to blow up a planet.

 

[Creep3r]

Out of all the shit that's been getting leaked, I wonder if this turd in particular will actually be in the movie to explain where Finn and Poe are while Reya and Leia are off fucking around on Endor:

Yes, that's Garfield for those of you who missed this before and this is official. Imagine if they actually put this in the movie. Finn and Poe going off to liberate the Fenozians of planet Gar'Fielf to cut off the FO's Gobloni-Lasagna supply only to be stopped by the FO-sympathizer and Fenozian governor G'Gorfo of the Borf Star. Someone over at Lucasfilm owes @Adamska and Jim Davis money.

Edit:
New leak confirmed! Poe and Finn about to fight G'Gorfo on the fenozian pasta fields!

Seriously though, who would've thought that when Adamska made that fake Garfield lore we'd end up getting the actual Garfield into SW? But what's funnier is that this shitty side-story probably gives the characters more development than the actual movie will.

And Metal Gear Garfield?

 

[Antipathy]

New leak confirmed! Poe and Finn about to fight G'Gorfo on the fenozian pasta fields!
View attachment 988475
Seriously though, who would've thought that when Adamska made that fake Garfield lore we'd end up getting the actual Garfield into SW? But what's funnier is that this shitty side-story probably gives the characters more development than the actual movie will.

R.O.T.O.K
Patrician taste my good sir.

 

[RumblyTumbly]

How to save this?

Movie ends with the camera being pulled back and revealing that the entirety of the ST was R2-D2 telling a story to a bunch of kids through the use of his updated hologram projector. C-3PO then steps in and says "Oh R2, you and your wild imagination. Stop filling these young ones heads full of untruths. Come around kids, I'll tell you what REALLY happened after the Empire fell" and the screen fades to black as 3PO mentions Grand Admiral Thrawn and Joruus C'Boath.

Okay, it won't save it, but at least fans will be able to rest easy knowing that this trite isn't canon.

 

[The handsome tard]

And Metal Gear Garfield?

Solid Cat:....meow gear !

 

[Judge Holden]

Saw this on twitter earlier today and I nearly had a stroke.

I mean...obviously its fake but my regard for this shitbag franchise is so fucking low right now that I automatically believed what I was seeing was real for a split second

 

[RumblyTumbly]

^^^

Okay, if that actually happened, this movie might be worth it purely for the lolz.

 

[Kyria the Great]

^^^

Okay, if that actually happened, this movie might be worth it purely for the lolz.

I am half expected if this movie is going to subvert our expectations and then become one of the grandest shitposts of all time, probably not, but one can dream.

 

[Notgoodwithusernames]

Eh, vampires burning up in sunlight was invented for the Nosferatu movie, so I don't think that is an essential part of vampire media.

It's been a while since I've read Dracula but couldn't sunlight kill Dracula? Its just that it takes prolonged exposure like with Superman and Kryptonite rather than being instant death right?

 

[Friend computer]

To bring in Darth Jarjar would likely save the whole trilogy at this point.

 

[Rotollo]

Saw this on twitter earlier today and I nearly had a stroke.

I mean...obviously its fake but my regard for this shitbag franchise is so fucking low right now that I automatically believed what I was seeing was real for a split second

JJ is the key to all this
he's a more mysterious director then we had before

 

[Muttnik]

Darth JarJar would redeem the film in my eyes, at least to make it feel like one big shitpost.

 

[Judge Holden]

Darth JarJar would redeem the film in my eyes, at least to make it feel like one big shitpost.

A Darth Jar Jar ending combined with my idea for the last shot of the film to be Rey looking straight at the camera and saying the N word would automatically make me forgive lucasfilm for every shitty and moronic move they ever made

 

[Jeffrey Epstein]

Kelly gained weight to play rose

Why didn't they cast Margaret Cho.

 

[Antipathy]

It's been a while since I've read Dracula but couldn't sunlight kill Dracula? Its just that it takes prolonged exposure like with Superman and Kryptonite rather than being instant death right?

No. Dracula walked about in broad daylight with no ill effects in Dracula. He just can't shapeshift during the day.

To bring in Darth Jarjar would likely save the whole trilogy at this point.

Darth Jarjar directed TFA and is currently spearheading this shitheap.
It's like poetry.

 

[Adamska]

So they may be considering making a Kylo Ren prequel movie...

I guess they must've realized that the entirety of the nu-fanbase are just horny idiots who want to fuck Kylo Ren or want to see him get fucked by Rey. Fuck, now I really REALLY hope IX bombs just to see Disney-Lucasfilm freak out and start cancelling a bunch of projects. After Solo they basically cancelled all their OT-focused content and then moved it to Disney+, so they probably thought people only wanted sequel shit. If this bombs too I can't wait to see them running around like headless chickens trying to make sense of shit as they cancel the Marvel comics, new films and future EA projects. Icing on the cake would be them admitting they fucked up, but that's unlikely.

Hilarious that they only realized now that Kylo was one of the few liked characters. Funnier still that they're likely gonna kill him and cuck the only fanbase they have left. That alone might make them screech and drop this in a panic.

2: Hollywood Reporter and other news sites trying to analyze the movie claim that it will make 180 or 200 mil on opening day, but these same people also claimed Solo would make 150mil on opening day.

Huh, I wonder if their predictions will drop similarly? Because the fact the movie will open in a weaker market means that spoilers will ooze in early, meaning it will be more likely that the US audiences will realize that the films are shit.

3: To make you give a fuck about Rose, Marvel is releasing a new comic showing Rey and Rose working together to prove that they're totally friends now. They're really trying to lay on this forced friendship shit by only showing it outside the movie rather than the movie itself.

Gotta love how they still use the EU to patch the holes in their shitty fucking movies. Still unable to learn from their stupid mistakes.

Yes, that's Garfield for those of you who missed this before and this is official. Imagine if they actually put this in the movie. Finn and Poe going off to liberate the Fenozians of planet Gar'Fielf to cut off the FO's Gobloni-Lasagna supply only to be stopped by the FO-sympathizer and Fenozian governor G'Gorfo of the Borf Star. Someone over at Lucasfilm owes @Adamska and Jim Davis money.

I WAS FUCKING JOKING.

I mean, it's probably coincidental, but my sides will fly into hyperspace if they name that cat race Fenozians. Especially since this book came out a good while after I shat out that idea.

 

[Oaat]

9: Crappy Death Star Destroyers confirmed and one is used in the movie to blow up a planet.
View attachment 988407

If they were going to use death star destroyers why didn't they use that red star destroyer concept art with the sphere in the middle? The space battle scene in the trailer looks so bland. Blurry memberberry ships crammed into every frame and everything is the same color.