Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Antipathy]

Holy shit wtf is this. What's with his broken fucking hands? And his mouth being so fucking low??? And that head size and bad foreshortening on his shoulders! This is real? Did this person look at a fucking picture of Adam Driver at all? Or were they looking at a monkey because genuinely looks chimpanzee esque. Disney PAID for this janky anatomy mess of a picture? Dear god.

Look at his enormous, swollen left wrist, broken left forefinger, and horrendously slouched shoulder (his right shoulder is twice as wide as his left). Look at his crosseyed tard stare, his tiny mouth on his beak of a chin, and nose seriously the size of his fist. Look at his lopsided ears and bendy, tubelike elbows.

This is something that I'd pick apart in fan art and chuckle about, understanding that it was probably the work of an enthusiastic but inexperienced beginner, but this is a fucking licensed Disney product. These people used to be anal about getting people in, demanding a full education in the classics, anatomy, color theory, shading, contemporary art, and then, and only then were they allowed to fucking touch a pencil on Disney's dime.

You'd think the largest media corporation on the planet would demand nothing but perfection from their employees. I guess with size came complacency.

 

[Uranus Pink]

Perfection cost time and money plus it is superfluous when catering to the lowest common denominator normies wbo don't GFA about quality.

 

[Iwasamwillbe]

I just want to ask.

How does Disney Luke Skywalker compare as a character to the original EU's/Legends's Luke Skywalker?

 

[Uranus Pink]

I just want to ask.

How does Disney Luke Skywalker compare as a character to the original EU's/Legends's Luke Skywalker?

TFA Luke was looking for the mystery box while everyone else was looking for him, so outside of that who knows. TLJ there is no Luke only Jake Skywalker.

 

[Oaat]

'The Mandalorian' TV Series Spoilers: Yoda Species To Finally Get A Name

The sixth episode of “The Mandalorian” TV series will involve the Yoda species.

www.ibtimes.com

 

[Tootsie Bear]

'The Mandalorian' TV Series Spoilers: Yoda Species To Finally Get A Name

The sixth episode of “The Mandalorian” TV series will involve the Yoda species.

www.ibtimes.com

View attachment 991371

I only really care when George Lucas goes behind the scenes of Star Wars and finally revels the secrets, like Yoda's species. Disney isn't canon in my opinion!

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

I just want to ask.

How does Disney Luke Skywalker compare as a character to the original EU's/Legends's Luke Skywalker?

It's a classic character assassination scenario.

Make the original hero an unlikable Hollywoodesque burnout who hates himself because a Mary Sue bumped him off.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Whatever problems they are, I hope they are enough to keep Disney away from Indiana Jones. Im sorry but I doubt Indy "fits" in today's world. He is suppose to be a ladies's man, strong, determined, masculine and smart...which arent what "today's audience" want in the eyes of those maniacs. They would do everything they could to show Indy as a defeated old loser way past his prime, as if these people dont know the concept of aging well...at least when Logan did it, there was a reason given the world's condition and his dying state.

They will make a Jake Skywalker out of Indy, trust me...

Oh, they already tried making a woman version of Indy at some point.

I forget why that thankfully got shut down, but I'd like to think it involved pointing out Lara Croft/Tomb Raider already existed.

 

[Buster O'Keefe]

Off all the people, Porkins? The clue is in the name. No soy for the fat fighter. Fuck Disney. He was a fat bastard and that's why we love him.

Edit: My headcannon, when I was about 4 or 5 years old: Porkins was a fat guy who was squeezed into a ship because the rebels were desperate and Porkins was a idealist, whatever that meant.

 

[Gar For Archer]

Look at his enormous, swollen left wrist, broken left forefinger, and horrendously slouched shoulder (his right shoulder is twice as wide as his left). Look at his crosseyed tard stare, his tiny mouth on his beak of a chin, and nose seriously the size of his fist. Look at his lopsided ears and bendy, tubelike elbows.

This is something that I'd pick apart in fan art and chuckle about, understanding that it was probably the work of an enthusiastic but inexperienced beginner, but this is a fucking licensed Disney product. These people used to be anal about getting people in, demanding a full education in the classics, anatomy, color theory, shading, contemporary art, and then, and only then were they allowed to fucking touch a pencil on Disney's dime.

You'd think the largest media corporation on the planet would demand nothing but perfection from their employees. I guess with size came complacency.

I mean tbf comics have never been about accurate anatomy, it’s always prioritized shitting out pages at a rapid pace.

That being said, a full-page spread presumably being used for marketing should definitely have more care put into it.

 

[Liquid Kent]

I just want to ask.

How does Disney Luke Skywalker compare as a character to the original EU's/Legends's Luke Skywalker?

Disney Luke Skywalker (AKA Jake Skywalker by Mark Hamill) is a bitter hermit who turned his back on his legacy and destiny because of a smug asshole (Rian Johnson), his cougar master (Kathleen Kennedy) and corporate suits.

EU/Legends Luke Skywalker is basically the Muhammad (PBUH) of the Jedi having done the following:

Spoiler: Peace be Upon Him

-Revived the Jedi order, acknowledging the limits and mistakes that created Darth Vader and did away with them (allowing Jedi to marry, giving others a chance, compassion and mercy first)

-Fought against a reborn Palpatine in the Dark Empire

-Fought the Yuuzhan Vong extragalactic invaders

-Defeated his own failures in Dolph (Kueller) and Desann, wrangling Mary-sue-tier-tards like Kyp Durron

-Having a hand in the training of one of the most badass Jedi of all, Kyle Katarn (New Order's Battlemaster, ala Mace Windu)

-Married Mara Jade, an assassin acting on posthumous orders from Palpatine to kill Luke Skywalker, instead he gave her the usual Jedi-are-not-like-this, I am your friend, before giving her the D

-Became one with the Force and later guided his wayward descendant Cade Skywalker, who is basically Jake Skywalker in current era, but again, done better.

And these are just the cliffnotes I could remember growing up with Star Wars! Hope it answered your questions!

edit - minor typo

 

[Owen Grady]

'The Mandalorian' TV Series Spoilers: Yoda Species To Finally Get A Name

The sixth episode of “The Mandalorian” TV series will involve the Yoda species.

www.ibtimes.com

View attachment 991371

This is dumb. Isn’t part of Yoda’s mystique supposed to lie in the fact that we as the audience don’t know the name of his species?

This ruins that. Not to mention it’s Disney doing the naming so you know it will probably be something dumb and/or underwhelming. And they’ll probably do some other stupid woke crap with them like add some unneeded feminist shit to the culture and function of his species. Like, their family structures will be matriarchal in nature or the females will be more naturally in tune with the Force than males or something.

 

[ASoulMan]

Disney Luke Skywalker (AKA Jake Skywalker by Mark Hamill) is a bitter hermit who turned his back on his legacy and destiny because of a smug asshole (Rian Johnson), his cougar master (Kathleen Kennedy) and corporate suits.

EU/Legends Luke Skywalker is basically the Muhammad (PBUH) of the Jedi having done the following:

Spoiler: Peace be Upon Him

-Revived the Jedi order, acknowledging the limits and mistakes that created Darth Vader and did away with them (allowing Jedi to marry, giving others a chance, compassion and mercy first)

-Fought against a reborn Palpatine in the Dark Empire

-Fought the Yuuzhan Vong extragalactic invaders

-Defeated his own failures in Dolph (Kueller) and Desann, wrangling Mary-sue-tier-tards like Kyp Durron

-Having a hand in the training of the one the mose badass Jedi of all, Kyle Katarn

-Married Mara Jade, an assassin acting on posthumous orders from Palpatine to kill Luke Skywalker, instead he gave her the usual Jedi-are-not-like-this, I am your friend, before giving her the D

-Became one with the Force and later guided his wayward descendant Cade Skywalker, who is basically Jake Skywalker in current era, but again, done better.

And these are just the cliffnotes I could remember growing up with Star Wars! Hope it answered your questions!

VIRGIN JAKE SKYWALKER VS CHAD LUKE SKYWALKER

For real tho Disney Luke post ROTJ feels like he was written by people who really fucking hate Star Wars. Legends Luke post ROTJ felt more like an actual continuation of his character.

 

[Uranus Pink]

Off all the people, Porkins? The clue is in the name. No soy for the fat fighter. Fuck Disney. He was a fat bastard and that's why we love him.

Edit: My headcannon, when I was about 4 or 5 years old: Porkins was a fat guy who was squeezed into a ship because the rebels were desperate and Porkins was a idealist, whatever that meant.

I recalled reading Rebel pilots due to doing long flights for extended periods of time tended to get rotunded from being stuck in the cockpit for so long.

 

[Buster O'Keefe]

Ewoks were George's Viet Cong.

 

[Iwasamwillbe]

EU/Legends Luke Skywalker is basically the Muhammad (PBUH) of the Jedi having done the following:

Spoiler: Peace be Upon Him

-Revived the Jedi order, acknowledging the limits and mistakes that created Darth Vader and did away with them (allowing Jedi to marry, giving others a chance, compassion and mercy first)

-Fought against a reborn Palpatine in the Dark Empire

-Fought the Yuuzhan Vong extragalactic invaders

-Defeated his own failures in Dolph (Kueller) and Desann, wrangling Mary-sue-tier-tards like Kyp Durron

-Having a hand in the training of the one the mose badass Jedi of all, Kyle Katarn

-Married Mara Jade, an assassin acting on posthumous orders from Palpatine to kill Luke Skywalker, instead he gave her the usual Jedi-are-not-like-this, I am your friend, before giving her the D

-Became one with the Force and later guided his wayward descendant Cade Skywalker, who is basically Jake Skywalker in current era, but again, done better.

And these are just the cliffnotes I could remember growing up with Star Wars! Hope it answered your questions!

Wouldn't a better comparison be to Jesus Christ or Gautama Buddha, coming from that?

 

[Liquid Kent]

Wouldn't a better comparison be to Jesus Christ or Gautama Buddha, coming from that?

I always saw Anakin Skywalker as how George Lucas saw his origin in Ep. I, as Jesus from a virgin birth (There was no father, as Shmi Skywalker = Virgin Mary) Even as a kid I could see the allusion.

Granted, Jesus didn't kill his 12 apostles, which is interesting when you see Disney's Star Wars in TFA. It was mentioned that Jake Skywalker trained 12 Jedi, but Kylo Ren killed 6 of them with the other five who turned to the dark side and formed the Knights of Ren.

Can you imagine the possibilities of so much that could be told? I could.

And that makes it all the more frustrating with what Johnson, KK, Iger and the rest of the Rat's crew have done with Star Wars.

 

[Antipathy]

Perfection cost time and money plus it is superfluous when catering to the lowest common denominator normies wbo don't GFA about quality.

I mean tbf comics have never been about accurate anatomy, it’s always prioritized shitting out pages at a rapid pace.

That being said, a full-page spread presumably being used for marketing should definitely have more care put into it.

Well, yes, but this isn't a minor slip or something. These were several egregious errors, picked up after less than ten seconds of observation. One full page is an important and small enough product to where I'd expect Kubrik levels of autistic perfectionism. (If you are unaware, Kubrik took 127 takes of a single scene!)

This is dumb. Isn’t part of Yoda’s mystique supposed to lie in the fact that we as the audience don’t know the name of his species?

This ruins that. Not to mention it’s Disney doing the naming so you know it will probably be something dumb and/or underwhelming. And they’ll probably do some other stupid woke crap with them like add some unneeded feminist shit to the culture and function of his species. Like, their family structures will be matriarchal in nature or the females will be more naturally in tune with the Force than males or something.

The thing about Yoda's species is that it doesn't need to be named. In fact, barely any species outright need a name unless their homeworld/a mass of them defined by their 'ethnicity' is described. I always had the thought that Yoda's species was super rare.

But it really doesn't matter: what Yoda is isn't nearly as important as who he is. He's the Grand Master of the Jedi, who instructed Obi Wan, who instructed Luke, who became one with the Force itself. Giving his species a name is irrelevant at best and stupid at worst.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

Is that “society of Dagobah” thing implying Yoda’s race comes from the planet? Because that’s fucking stupid. Yoda was living in self-exile due to his failure to stop Palpatine, why would “self-exile” be “go to my hometown”?

 

[Optimus Prime]

Is that “society of Dagobah” thing implying Yoda’s race comes from the planet? Because that’s fucking stupid. Yoda was living in self-exile due to his failure to stop Palpatine, why would “self-exile” be “go to my hometown”?

It's also a really fucking shitty swamp backwater planet.

Of course, doesn't this also confirm more leaks? I'm pretty sure Dagobah appeared in them.