Inactive Gwen Hartley & The Hartley Hooligans - Attention Seeking Horrorshow Mom of Two Dead Gremlins & Finally Free Human Son

[Meddle92]

OMG! The holidays- Hooligan on a Shelf!

I cant wait till unethical scientists manufacture hooligans by the truckload then every kid can have their own custom goblin. Black hooligans boy hooligans hispanic hooligans in little ethnic costumes however I would just purchase classic lola edition. Then they could also have hooligan football all they have to do is put the little goblin in a rubber egg shaped football costume. I imagine its just wrapped in a big rubber football shaped onesie with only its little hooligan pain face sticking out.


“Why nobody wuv me”

 

[Punkinsplice]

I cant wait till unethical scientists manufacture hooligans by the truckload then every kid can have their own custom goblin.

I would totally get into customizing hooligans!

 

[LetThemEatCake]

I cant wait till unethical scientists manufacture hooligans by the truckload then every kid can have their own custom goblin.

That'll be China. You'll probaby be able to buy one sealed in a pouch of its own amniotic fluids on a keyring.

 

[FramerGirl420]

I love sweet smelling, cuddly little normal babies

Uhhh...............you what?

I think this is by far the creepiest shit I have read in this entire thread...just let that sink in.

 

[MysticMisty]

Purely out of morbid curiosity, does anyone else wonder if the girls had neuro-breath? Ran across the subject in the Mama Nails thread and I had to look into. It's a distinct bad breath odor TBI patients develop.

An interesting thought, but probably not. I was under the impression neruo-breath was exclusive to brain dead patients. And they weren't brain dead, they still had basic functions probably on par with a vegetable. The difference between Terri Schaivo and Jahi McMath, only they were born that way, and Terri wasn't grotesquely deformed.

 

[Meddle92]

I would totally get into customizing hooligans!

You know what I would do with my hooligan I would get one of those “big gulp” cups and put the hooligan in it so when Im driving the little goblin can chill in my cupholder on the dashboard. I just imagine its tiny head poking out and most people would think its a toy until it does that classic “stiff as a fucking board then the eyes start rolling about creepily in its head”

 

[Punkinsplice]

You know what I would do with my hooligan I would get one of those “big gulp” cups and put the hooligan in it so when Im driving the little goblin can chill in my cupholder on the dashboard. I just imagine its tiny head poking out and most people would think its a toy until it does that classic “stiff as a fucking board then the eyes start rolling about creepily in its head”

That's a good idea! You know I would do something basic like carry mine in a cute matching bag. I should think outside the box more!

 

[Moonpie]

Uhhh...............you what?

I think this is by far the creepiest shit I have read in this entire thread...just let that sink in.

Who doesn't love babies? What's creepy about that? They usually smell like baby lotion(that's what I meant about smell) I think they're adorable. Most are anyways. Just my opinion.

Nothing like the hooligans.

 

[Occipital Fupa]

Happy birthday Kerby! And remember, even if they are gone, Gwen will always put the goblins front and forward in every picture of you and Cal!

 

[LetThemEatCake]

Christ, Gwen really dosn't give up, does she? Happy birthday, Kerby! To celebrate, here's a picture of ALL MY FAMILY with you at the edge, with my GROSS AND NOW DEAD BABIES front and centre. Everything is going to be about those two for fucking ever and ever, isn't it? She's mad if she marries into that family.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Who doesn't love babies? What's creepy about that? They usually smell like baby lotion(that's what I meant about smell) I think they're adorable. Most are anyways. Just my opinion.

Nothing like the hooligans.

Nah, it’s not the lotion, we hard hardwired to love the smell of newborns.

There’s actually a particular smell that newborns have that make their scent extremely pleasing to humans. People do actually love to smell new babies. I had one and witnessed people wanting to do just that fairly often, usually while saying “I love the smell of babies.” I literally had a few old ladies in stores politely ask if they could smell my baby’s head!! Weird as hell, but it’s true. Babies do smell wonderful to humans in a almost impossible to define way, but usually only for the first few months is this particular smell present. (After they age a few months the pleasant smell is probably baby lotion and milk)

Scientists have been studying it. https://articles.aplus.com/a/scishow-why-babies-smell-good

They believe it is something very primal and hard wired in our evolution to explain why we love the smell of new babies. New babies need a lot of holding and care. A irresistible smell made it easier to ensure tiny new humans got held and attended to - even by humans who weren’t their mothers.

 

[Meddle92]

Lol claire is just chilling with her mutant lobster claws out. How the fuck did she manage to pose her right claw like that?? Holy shit. Check out that hooligan pain face. Its never not the hooligans day to shine even when they are dead as doornails on someone elses birthday. There must be something in the water in kansas its like everyone is psychotic or an actual living breathing monster.

What is up with that omnipresent bubble of fat under lolas chin shes thin as a wire but manages to have a fucking double chin? Is it just because her neck is contorted in some fucked up position 24/7? The only time she didnt have that double chin is when she was basically a starved zombie after she got the chickenpox during the klaus kinski era of her life.

In this era she was just a totally starved emaciated klaus kinski esque ghoul. Then she became a piranha faced human volleyball later on.

If i ever get back into music and start a new band I’m definitely calling it “Hartley Hooligans” just imagine how awesome hooligan based ska would be. I want to make a claire mask and have my friend run around and wear a diaper. Dub clips of lola bleeting and gwens idiotic non sequiturs over the tracks.

 

[Moonpie]

Imagine the looks they got while out.
Especially if dumbass Scott was tard cumming goblin 2 for everyone to see (and smell).
I noticed Gwen put her hashtag forever family of five bullshit on one of her recent posts.
At this point I can totally see her digging them up and stuffing them. Ya know... For props and such.

 

[Whatthefuck]

Imagine the looks they got while out.
Especially if dumbass Scott was tard cumming goblin 2 for everyone to see (and smell).
I noticed Gwen put her hashtag forever family of five bullshit on one of her recent posts.
At this point I can totally see her digging them up and stuffing them. Ya know... For props and such.

You know the thought must have crossed her mind for this year's Halloween photoshoot.

 

[Meddle92]

You know the thought must have crossed her mind for this year's Halloween photoshoot.

They should bury lola in pet sematary. I just imagine the little zombie crashing through their window doing its typical “gneeeeeee gneeeee” snarling and bleeting.

Fuck I mean on the hooligans “Night to Shine” it was so pale it literally looked like they were lugging a corpse around.
“Gneeeeee Mommy wuv me gneeee eughhhhh”

 

[The Husbando Collector]

They should bury lola in pet sematary. I just imagine the little zombie crashing through their window doing its typical “gneeeeeee gneeeee” snarling and bleeting.
View attachment 992028
Fuck I mean on the hooligans “Night to Shine” it was so pale it literally looked like they were lugging a corpse around.
“Gneeeeee Mommy wuv me gneeee eughhhhh”

Bold of you to assume it would even have the strength to crash through the window. Demonic forces at play or not, it'll just bleat and blast shit like it did in "life" until someone gets a good boot stomp in on its head to put it out of its mysery.

 

[simulated goat]

Happy birthday Kerby! And remember, even if they are gone, Gwen will always put the goblins front and forward in every picture of you and Cal!

View attachment 991864

Poor Claire is silently screaming...

 

[Meddle92]

Bold of you to assume it would even have the strength to crash through the window. Demonic forces at play or not, it'll just bleat and blast shit like it did in "life" until someone gets a good boot stomp in on its head to put it out of its mysery.

Someone needs to make a good drawing of zombie lola running around their house with a pocket knife. I really wish pet sematary was real and it gave lola the ability to move. Imagine her crawling up the walls and racing around the house bleeting and actually talking “gneeeee. Gneeee Mommy dress me up in my little halloween costumes gneeee eughhhhh mommy wuv me gneeee eughhh” as lola is stlkimg the family around the house with a pocket knife. She slashes scotts achilles tendon and drags him under the bed you just hear scotts cuck ass whimpering and lola snarling and bleeting. I can see claire drenched in ooze flopping around like a fish on the hardwood floors making loud ass gasping noises. Goddammit bring these hooligans back to life gwen needs them. “My precious baby teens Noooooooo!!”

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

They should bury lola in pet sematary. I just imagine the little zombie crashing through their window doing its typical “gneeeeeee gneeeee” snarling and bleeting.
View attachment 992028
Fuck I mean on the hooligans “Night to Shine” it was so pale it literally looked like they were lugging a corpse around.
“Gneeeeee Mommy wuv me gneeee eughhhhh”

Gwen dug deep to find a dress that is actually designed to give an optical illusion of slim body. The horizontal lines of the dress are stopped by a false waist line of horizontal stripes, making her hips and ass seem far more narrow.

I doubt any of us can fathom the amount of time and effort Gwen put into presenting herself and the hooligans online. I think a few days every week she did planned photo sessions. For every one photo she posted, there are at least 100 or more she didn’t. She must have at least a terabyte or two in potato media saved.

 

[large_farva]

An interesting thought, but probably not. I was under the impression neruo-breath was exclusive to brain dead patients. And they weren't brain dead, they still had basic functions probably on par with a vegetable. The difference between Terri Schaivo and Jahi McMath, only they were born that way, and Terri wasn't grotesquely deformed.

The asparagine synthetase deficiency could have caused progressive brain atrophy. That's why I wondered if they had neuro-breath.