Inactive Gwen Hartley & The Hartley Hooligans - Attention Seeking Horrorshow Mom of Two Dead Gremlins & Finally Free Human Son

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Gwen dug deep to find a dress that is actually designed to give an optical illusion of slim body. The horizontal lines of the dress are stopped by a false waist line of horizontal stripes, making her hips and ass seem far more narrow.

I doubt any of us can fathom the amount of time and effort Gwen put into presenting herself and the hooligans online. I think a few days every week she did planned photo sessions. For every one photo she posted, there are at least 100 or more she didn’t. She must have at least a terabyte or two in potato media saved.

Gwen herself puts on so much makeup Ive heard other users call her a “gothic hooker”.
Yea its actually ridiculous how many pictures she took and how she had to pose the gremlins perfectly to get those shots also Im pretty sure she legit used makeup and we all know she used photoshop. Im sure she uses makeup on the hooligans because lolas facial birthmark and the sores on her face are always disappearing and appearing randomly.
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If you look at this one Im pretty sure I see lipstick or lip gloss on that damned hooligan.

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These photos look no birthmark. Look how nasty pockeys toothy grin is here holy shit. She actually thinks this is a good potato picture? The goblin looks like a goddamn ugly doll. I’ve seen some photos where the hooligan has a horrible crusty red rash all over its face Ill try to find it I might have it stored on my computer. During the last 2 months of lolas goblin life it also looks like her right shoulder fell out of its socket and gwen was desperately trying to hide it.
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If you look at the third photo its slipping out. For the last month of its life every photo was taken of her totally wrapped up in a blanket because if you look her shoulder looks like it totally fell out of its socket. The thing was probably having non stop seizures and crazy muscle spasms and her weak frail decayed arm just popped right out of its socket.

Whats up with the potato patch pilgrims calling Lola “an absolute badass WARRIOR” why do they keep using that word? The first thing that cones to my mind when I hear the word warrior is a 1 ft tall emaciated deformed ghoul that someone can easily dispatch with one soccer kick. Potato worship is so fucking annoying. Why cant people just enjoy the goblins for what they actually are? Barely sentient goofy looking vegetables. I guess badass warriors are often felled by the common cold.
 
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Gwen herself puts on so much makeup Ive heard other users call her a “gothic hooker”.
Yea its actually ridiculous how many pictures she took and how she had to pose the gremlins perfectly to get those shots also Im pretty sure she legit used makeup and we all know she used photoshop. Im sure she uses makeup on the hooligans because lolas facial birthmark and the sores on her face are always disappearing and appearing randomly.
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If you look at this one Im pretty sure I see lipstick or lip gloss on that damned hooligan.

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These photos look no birthmark. Look how nasty pockeys toothy grin is here holy shit. She actually thinks this is a good potato picture? The goblin looks like a goddamn ugly doll. I’ve seen some photos where the hooligan has a horrible crusty red rash all over its face Ill try to find it I might have it stored on my computer. During the last 2 months of lolas goblin life it also looks like her right shoulder fell out of its socket and gwen was desperately trying to hide it.
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If you look at the third photo its slipping out. For the last month of its life every photo was taken of her totally wrapped up in a blanket because if you look her shoulder looks like it totally fell out of its socket. The thing was probably having non stop seizures and crazy muscle spasms and her weak frail decayed arm just popped right out of its socket.

Whats up with the potato patch pilgrims calling Lola “an absolute badass WARRIOR” why do they keep using that word? The first thing that cones to my mind when I hear the word warrior is a 1 ft tall emaciated deformed ghoul that someone can easily dispatch with one soccer kick. Potato worship is so fucking annoying. Why cant people just enjoy the goblins for what they actually are? Barely sentient goofy looking vegetables. I guess badass warriors are often felled by the common cold.

The magic disappearing birthmark was why I started noticing at how much manipulation was used on the potato photos. Gwen was an early adopter of filters too, but she certainly learned to use the touch-up and blur tool when she started her mommy blog posting.

Gwen is a lot like the HAES fatties. Never ending text about how perfect, beautiful, badass the hooligans are, yet at the same time using a heavy arsenal of photoshop magic, lighting, angles and editing to present these beautiful, perfect, beings.

It’s like Tess “f your beauty standards” using every make-up, hair extension and photoshop trick in the book to make her 500 lb flesh prison conform to female beauty standards. Gwen waxed poetic about how perfect the potatoes were with all their disabilities and deformities, while trying to alter their appearance to actually make them less shocking and more normal appearing. But just like with death fats, there’s only so much one can do less it become an illustration.
 
Whats up with the potato patch pilgrims calling Lola “an absolute badass WARRIOR” why do they keep using that word?

A mixture of overcompensation and language creep due to some odd entitlement to the admiration veterans get. The valourization of serious illness and disability became a strange phenomenon in the late 20th century, again from overcompensation born from earlier stigmatization. Soon it will indeed be used for people who just got over the common cold.
 

Null's stream was on the Hartley's today
Lol wow he should of invited us on to talk about the many scams gwen pulled off we are the potato experts afterall.

The top 3 scams in my mind were
1 the kansas weed oil fiasco
2 the playtex nipple bullshit
3 the tim tebow night to shine rule breaking

There were a couple more but the rest were all minor I actually clearly remember her telling other potato parents how to get certain gov beefits on facebook on one of her posts. Once someone starts informing people about all the government programs they know about you immediately know this person is a welfare sponge. Shes not a public servant or a lawyer so the only reason she has this knowledge is because shes a fatass welfare queen. Just look at her lately shes morphed into a fat cow and now she doesnt even have her deformed goblin party to hide behind anymore so its just her dumb fatass front and center now. How long do you guys give it before she kills herself or is comitted.

Its like everyone is a “warrior” now they even do this shit at videogame tournaments whenever I go to local tournaments there are a couple morons in a commentating booth screaming their heads off and talking about how much of a warrior “pro gamer x” is as he comes to our town to squash all of the cities non pros like me. Everyone in western civilization is a wartior the term is just fucking meaningless annoying hyperbole now.
 
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He was very sympathetic to Gwen
I was listening to it and it sounds like he just didnt have enough information about gwens scams. You really got to dig deep into the hooligan mythos to fully understand how batshit insane gwen really is. If you haven't read her entire blog and checked out the secondary material along with getting medical information you really dont understand hiw batshit gwen really was. She was always borderline abusing her potatos.
 
I was listening to it and it sounds like he just didnt have enough information about gwens scams. You really got to dig deep into the hooligan mythos to fully understand how batshit insane gwen really is. If you haven't read her entire blog and checked out the secondary material along with getting medical information you really dont understand hiw batshit gwen really was. She was always borderline abusing her potatos.
I just found it really depressing, but then again I found this thread really depressing too because of the way she paraded those girls around. He only really touched on the crazy imo.
 
Gwens got a new post whining about halloween and actually reveals what she would of done this year she was actually going to dress lola up as maple syrup(wtf) and tge family up as characters from elf(again wtf). For some reason people are really obsessed with that movie when I saw it I was like oh its another shitty will ferrell comedy, but I know alot of people who love it and it left a really big impression on them.
 
Gwens got a new post whining about halloween and actually reveals what she would of done this year she was actually going to dress lola up as maple syrup(wtf) and tge family up as characters from elf(again wtf). For some reason people are really obsessed with that movie when I saw it I was like oh its another shitty will ferrell comedy, but I know alot of people who love it and it left a really big impression on them.

Oh God, she always "showed off" Lola and Claire to trick-or-treaters.

Why in the name of God would she do that? Kids on Halloween are out for fun scares and candy. They don't need to see real-life horror.

It does look like Cal dodged a bullet. He's too old to be expected to go home from college to dress up in a dumb costume.
 
I cant wait till unethical scientists manufacture hooligans by the truckload then every kid can have their own custom goblin. Black hooligans boy hooligans hispanic hooligans in little ethnic costumes however I would just purchase classic lola edition. Then they could also have hooligan football all they have to do is put the little goblin in a rubber egg shaped football costume. I imagine its just wrapped in a big rubber football shaped onesie with only its little hooligan pain face sticking out.

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“Why nobody wuv me”


Ya know I love my daughter and everything but to post the most unattractive and gut wrenching photo of her would be horrible. Why would Gwen even think this is REMOTELY ok?


Also I want my own Lola stress ball
 
Papa null why would you weep for this she demon? Why?

I mean Gwen is more sympathetic than many of the crazy potato moms out there. Jaxon Buell’s parents were straight up, hardcore scam artists. There’s been others posted here and in the tard baby thread that make Gwen look quite benign in comparison.

Gwen didn’t go milk the pro-life speaking circuit, even though they would have gladly welcomed here and paid big bucks.

On the surface, or to a casual viewer, Gwen is a sympathetic character. I think most humans have immediate sympathy for mothers caring for disabled kids.

It’s only after getting deep into the weeds that the issues with Gwen crop up - like refusing palliative and proper pain/medicine for the girls in favor of woo because the doctors didn’t cater to Gwen’s peculiar narrative. Her insistence of carting the girls out and about even though it risked health that Gwen claimed was so fragile. Sending Claire’s doctor a letter every year to berate him for telling her facts and giving an honest prognosis. Making Cal write a one page groveling apologia first using the word reta7rd and publishing said letter online. Using every program under the sun to get freebies and bully businesses into giving her free shit for her “promoting” them by using on the potatoes. Constantly coming up with ideas so that she get on the local or national news, etc...

Gwen’s not an idea topic for synopsis coverage just because her problems and crazy behaviors only become noticeable after watching for awhile and getting the full scope of what she’s been doing for years.
 
Someone needs to make a good drawing of zombie lola running around their house with a pocket knife. I really wish pet sematary was real and it gave lola the ability to move. Imagine her crawling up the walls and racing around the house bleeting and actually talking “gneeeee. Gneeee Mommy dress me up in my little halloween costumes gneeee eughhhhh mommy wuv me gneeee eughhh” as lola is stlkimg the family around the house with a pocket knife. She slashes scotts achilles tendon and drags him under the bed you just hear scotts cuck ass whimpering and lola snarling and bleeting. I can see claire drenched in ooze flopping around like a fish on the hardwood floors making loud ass gasping noises. Goddammit bring these hooligans back to life gwen needs them. “My precious baby teens Noooooooo!!”
My photo editing skills leave a lot to be desired, but here ya go! :D
 

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I mean Gwen is more sympathetic than many of the crazy potato moms out there. Jaxon Buell’s parents were straight up, hardcore scam artists. There’s been others posted here and in the tard baby thread that make Gwen look quite benign in comparison.

Gwen didn’t go tard cum the pro-life speaking circuit, even though they would have gladly welcomed here and paid big bucks.

On the surface, or to a casual viewer, Gwen is a sympathetic character. I think most humans have immediate sympathy for mothers caring for disabled kids.

It’s only after getting deep into the weeds that the issues with Gwen crop up - like refusing palliative and proper pain/medicine for the girls in favor of woo because the doctors didn’t cater to Gwen’s peculiar narrative. Her insistence of carting the girls out and about even though it risked health that Gwen claimed was so fragile. Sending Claire’s doctor a letter every year to berate him for telling her facts and giving an honest prognosis. Making Cal write a one page groveling apologia first using the word reta7rd and publishing said letter online. Using every program under the sun to get freebies and bully businesses into giving her free shit for her “promoting” them by using on the potatoes. Constantly coming up with ideas so that she get on the local or national news, etc...

Gwen’s not an idea topic for synopsis coverage just because her problems and crazy behaviors only become noticeable after watching for awhile and getting the full scope of what she’s been doing for years.
Exactly gwens issues and serious battshittery only become noticeable after a couple months of hard observation but like any pill you swallow you never forget it and the resentment just grows and grows once you start hating her. At first she just seems like your run of the mill moron potato mom maybe a little over the top and fucking annoying but whatever its only when you scratch pretty deep under the surface that her true monstrous self begins to show.
 
Lol claire is just chilling with her mutant lobster claws out. How the fuck did she manage to pose her right claw like that?? Holy shit. Check out that hooligan pain face. Its never not the hooligans day to shine even when they are dead as doornails on someone elses birthday. There must be something in the water in kansas its like everyone is psychotic or an actual living breathing monster.

What is up with that omnipresent bubble of fat under lolas chin shes thin as a wire but manages to have a fucking double chin? Is it just because her neck is contorted in some fucked up position 24/7? The only time she didnt have that double chin is when she was basically a starved zombie after she got the chickenpox during the klaus kinski era of her life.
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In this era she was just a totally starved emaciated klaus kinski esque ghoul. Then she became a piranha faced human volleyball later on.

If i ever get back into music and start a new band I’m definitely calling it “Hartley Hooligans” just imagine how awesome hooligan based ska would be. I want to make a claire mask and have my friend run around and wear a diaper. Dub clips of lola bleeting and gwens idiotic non sequiturs over the tracks.
Yep that's nasty

My photo editing skills leave a lot to be desired, but here ya go! :biggrin:
Very good
 
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