Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Lucas talking about how it was a bad idea to go to college to meet women, because to him if you're working hard at school there is no time to meet women. He also says he doesn't have money to go to the bars, and that is about the only ways to meet women offline.

Plenty of college students have significant others and many also work a part-time job too. I am pretty sure he flunked pretty bad his last quarter. We all know no girl in his preferred age range is gonna wanna talk to the fat almost 40 year old guy in pajama pants walking around campus. And he is not even pretending that he was really interested in actually getting an education.

He then asks his viewers to send him $5.00.

 
Last edited:
This is a goodie if you're frustrated by his blathering and just want some light content:


He appears transfixed on sushi as being some type of high class, cultured thing to have access to (not very socialist). His video is unnarrated, allowing the visuals to do the talking, and what do we see: crooning tannoy music in the style of Mantovani, loud conversation from other patrons, reverberating obnoxiously across the easy-mop wood laminate floor. We see a plate with a monstrous double-centipede of cheap sushi, from which Lucas picks up a segment with his fingers and jams it into his mouth. The sushi in particular looks barely a step above fish and chips level of cuisine. His table supports a cheap tumbler of water (I have the same pattern, it cost 99p per glass at a supermarket), and a loose plastic bag of unknowns, adding to the romantic atmosphere. 15 18 year old girls, this is the luxury experience that an older daddy could be providing you, the video croons, as Lucas audibly smacks his lips.
I Love that he eats it with His hands.

Like you said, he seems torn between this pose of anticapitalism....and saying, literally in one of the last few days videos, that he wants to be bourgeoisie.

He is a constant moment to moment contradiction. This morning he said that people are "sexual Puritans" if they don't approve of his teen fetish, because they're ok with gay sex and interracial.

His unspoken point was obviously "I Lucas Werner don't complain about things that gross ME out, like blacks and gays, so YOU should ignore the gross things that Lucas does."

Seriously, his disdain for gays is obvious: it's his ubiquitous default insult. No one is getting aroused by his bare acres of flesh, but why should such arousal from his brother be recounted as a witty comeback? "Don't get a boner looking at lucas, fag!" he seems to say in all but words.

His constant supposedly scientific demands for proof have met his own unwillingness to prove ANYTHING he says....and instead of being stymied by the inherent contradiction, both contrary ideas existing side-by-side, unaware of the contradiction they suggest.

This is Lucas:

-Farting and preening
-Claiming nonviolence while threatening his viewers
-Attacking homophobia while accusing his critics of gay sex, as if that's a bad thing?
-Demanding proof and offering none
-Dropping scientific terms and mentioning Lujon Wang while failing basic math and science and dropping out of remedial college classes
-Saying that things in his past are irrelevant, while angrily recounting his brothers apparently VERY relevant argument over a chicken mcnugget..
....from 10 years ago

He's a mess of unexplored, unaware contradictions.

Edit:


Lucas mixes what looks to be 5-6 shots of brandy with generic black cherry seltzer.

That sounds almost nauseating enough to be his signature drink:

"A Greasy Wern"

Mix 5 fingers of brandy (symbolizing the 5 fingers you jerk off with and all the girls named Brandie you'll never screw) with half a glass of black cherry seltzer, (black cherry for all the virgin hymens you'd like to pound black and blue, and seltzer for the foul gas you constantly emit) pour into a greasy tumbler, (just like how you'd love to pour yourself into a Tumblr-aged chick) and serve slightly warm and sweaty.

Serves 1, alone, forever.
 
Last edited:

Dunno about this one, haven't listened to it all, at the beginning he mentions loving a Savannah Brewer from Olympia, who he mentioned waaaaay back in a self-pitying vid from before he got loony binned. In the old vid her and her friend Alina Shaw rejected him and he was bitter, but now he's all magnanimous.

At about 12:50 he actually says "I love little girls", I know that's a big shock to everyone.

He's curated his commenters down to only those who kiss his ass, more or less, so that's kinda boring.

He sure loves Walter Fate (@Fatal Walter ) now for some reason, can't stop attributing his incorrect ideas about incels to Mssr. Fate so that's....good I guess?
 

Completely drunk now, and bragging about being drunk, Lucas keeps holding his emptying bottle of brandy up to the camera to demonstrate such. He seems to have finished 2/3 of the bottle, which seems like an awful lot of booze to me, but I'm no brandy connoisseur.

He mentions being about to smoke some weed and holds the package of it up to the camera, inviting anyone from the internet to "come meet him in the alley where he's smoking now That he's doxed himself". Well, at least we know he's not an angry drunk.

It's kind of refreshing to see Lucas relaxed and jovial, but when you realize this self-medication could quickly go the other way given his mood swings its probably not the best choice for him to make.

In a previous video he mentions both a neighbor and a stranger saying "fuck you!" to him, and sounds thoroughly unconcerned. The mania seems to have faded, but he's riding a wave of extreme contentment which, while boring from a lolcow perspective, is likely less dangerous than angry frothing Lucas.

Note: One of his "allowed" commenters that he addresses by name is a large-breasted blonde avatar named Brittany, an extremely obvious troll sock.

Like all cows, Lucas thinks a girl of this sort would watch his YouTube stream at 1 a.m. because he's just that awesome.

Hysterical.
 
A9848076-87-A4-4272-BADD-34-D574-CB1-BF6.jpg

E0-ECB0-F7-7-DBF-43-BB-ABE4-9-D160-D2-D1-AEB.jpg
 

Completely drunk now, and bragging about being drunk, Lucas keeps holding his emptying bottle of brandy up to the camera to demonstrate such. He seems to have finished 2/3 of the bottle, which seems like an awful lot of booze to me, but I'm no brandy connoisseur.

He mentions being about to smoke some weed and holds the package of it up to the camera, inviting anyone from the internet to "come meet him in the alley where he's smoking now That he's doxed himself". Well, at least we know he's not an angry drunk.

It's kind of refreshing to see Lucas relaxed and jovial, but when you realize this self-medication could quickly go the other way given his mood swings its probably not the best choice for him to make.

In a previous video he mentions both a neighbor and a stranger saying "fuck you!" to him, and sounds thoroughly unconcerned. The mania seems to have faded, but he's riding a wave of extreme contentment which, while boring from a lolcow perspective, is likely less dangerous than angry frothing Lucas.

Note: One of his "allowed" commenters that he addresses by name is a large-breasted blonde avatar named Brittany, an extremely obvious troll sock.

Like all cows, Lucas thinks a girl of this sort would watch his YouTube stream at 1 a.m. because he's just that awesome.

most brandy is 70-100 proof (some of the nicer ones go above 100 proof), so about the same as vodka or any other liquor. 2/3 of a bottle would be about ten and a half standard drinks (1.5 oz pour). That puts him at a BAC of around 0.14, give or take, depending on his weight and a few other things.

ETA: if Lucas was at a bar he’d be way cut off by now
 

Dunno about this one, haven't listened to it all, at the beginning he mentions loving a Savannah Brewer from Olympia, who he mentioned waaaaay back in a self-pitying vid from before he got loony binned. In the old vid her and her friend Alina Shaw rejected him and he was bitter, but now he's all magnanimous.

At about 12:50 he actually says "I love little girls", I know that's a big shock to everyone.

He's curated his commenters down to only those who kiss his ass, more or less, so that's kinda boring.

He sure loves Walter Fate (@Fatal Walter ) now for some reason, can't stop attributing his incorrect ideas about incels to Mssr. Fate so that's....good I guess?
Lucas removed that video. Wonder what else he said that he didn't want out there.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: Da Dude123
Bottle was full yesterday. Is he gonna carry it around with him Like some loveshy totem?

He better watch out if it's so easy for him to drink like a fish...incipient alcoholism wouldn't work too well with his mental problems.

Edit: Did he bring it into a restaurant? Are You even allowed to do that?
 
Last edited:
Lucas removed that video. Wonder what else he said that he didn't want out there.

iirc, it was 80 minutes of pure stream of consciousness drivel where he frequently contradicted himself.
Or maybe that’s a different one.

maybe it was all his random talk about ex’s?not sure.
 
Also: for someone who volubly rails against capitalism, (sometimes I think these are all just WORDS to Lucas, with not just LITTLE understanding but NO understanding of the concepts at all) Lucas takes such obvious, childlike pride in the things he spends his money on.

"Look mommy, I bought an expensive board game! Look mommy! I bought some booze!"

This materialistic pleasure in consumption is of course beyond him, but it's interesting how compartmentalized his brain is.

He can have any contradictory ideas existing at once, because the overall governing principle of Lucas's mind is a hypocritical (to use another of his favorite overused terms he clearly doesn't understand) "Do as I say, not as I do."

That's all you need to know about him, literally. It explains everything, from these contradictions which are so obvious in everything he records now to something we all scratched our heads over in the past:

Remember his fury over "greybeards" using his "research" to get young women? That made no sense, right? Surely old men with girls was what he'd been preaching?

Yes it was, but only for him, and only as an excuse to try and eliminate what he saw as his competition. Younger, better looking, more socially comfortable men....he had to take them out of the equation.

So he latched onto this concept of telomeres, which his sick mind twisted into "young = bad, old = good" (because Lucas only understands dualities in their simplest form; in-group vs. out-group, good vs. bad, Democrat vs. Republican, etc.) to remove this group of sexually competitive males from the equation.

But it was only ever an EXCUSE to shower Lucas in teen pussy; it was never a maxim he wanted applicable to the world at large.

Of course, he has to ACT like it's a philosophy everyone should follow, but when he sees others he thinks are following it, what does he do? Congratulate them? No! He gets even more upset, because the telomere business is just an excuse to remove what he sees as his competition...and justify his lack of interest in women his own age, women I think he understands would be necessarily harder to manipulate.

That's kind of crucial: Lucas tries to be a puppet master; he thinks he's really smart and takes a laughable degree of pride in his transparent little axioms. But he's a moron, obviously, only trying to justify a pleasurable existence with the least effort for himself, so his machinations are childlike, obvious, and unsuccessful.

Still, if his BS was EVER to succeed on anyone, it would likely be on a younger, more vulnerable girl. Heck, Daniel thought Lucas was a suave lothario at the beginning, until familiarity revealed Lucas to be the lazy, perverse, dishonest, self-contradictory shambling mound he REALLY is. If a girl like Daniel (that is, mentally compromised somehow) met Lucas, his idiot bravado might hold sway long enough for him to do something to her that they'd BOTH likely ultimately regret. As others in the thread have said, some vulnerable street teen is the real worry where Lucas is concerned.

He certainly prowls regularly, doesn't he? He can call it "exercise" all he wants, but we know what he's really doing.

And now that he's reverted to his old "food for the homeless - as attraction sign" routine, my guess is something not so great will happen in the near future. I hope not.
 
Last edited:
Laughing at Sushi being "high class". You can get it at Target for $7.

Lucas was a kid in the 1980s, when sushi first got big in America (outside of Japanese immigrant communities where presumably it was known already). Back then it did have a "high class," or at least trendy, reputation. Molly Ringwald's spoiled-rich-girl character in The Breakfast Club has sushi for lunch. He may not have realized it's become a lot more affordable and available since he was a kid.
 
Amazing that the increasing cheapness of sushi due to its mass production and the spread of chains isn't "too corporate" for our peanut brained Lucas. I suppose his only definition of "too corporate" is "doesn't tell me to fuck off" like bars and teenage girls.


50 seconds of absolute schizo word salad and vocalisations with no real conclusion. That's SO Lucas.

By the way, can somebody add the following tags to the thread (I've maxed out my limit): communist, drunk, social jusice, creepy, attraction sign, antifa, science denial, poor, failure

Edit: thanks.
 
Last edited:
Lucas was a kid in the 1980s, when sushi first got big in America (outside of Japanese immigrant communities where presumably it was known already). Back then it did have a "high class," or at least trendy, reputation. Molly Ringwald's spoiled-rich-girl character in The Breakfast Club has sushi for lunch. He may not have realized it's become a lot more affordable and available since he was a kid.
It's more than that though; its the way he shows off something so decidely bourgeois....in the midst of his anti-capitalist "man of the people" shtick.

Edit: in the longer vid from this evening, it's his usual stupid shit, with a few highlights:

He admits he's never cleaned his room or The Stain Wall of Fail for 3 years....other than picking up food trash. His excuse is "it was like that when he got here".

He's gonna start a patreon, as he's decided that he's an inspirational figure and a stand-up comedian.

He lists qualifications you have to meet to date him, and its the usual shit. He miiight be willing to date a cop or a military member, so all you 18 year old blonde large breasted cops and soldiers cross your fingers!

His new political idea is that all jobs would receive the same rate of pay, which is retarded, because nobody would be an ice road trucker if you got paid the same as a Wal-Mart greeter....moron.
 
Last edited:
Back