Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Popoto]

The tiny backpacks were a mid 90s thing that is cycling back in again. I guess they are "vintage" now.

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[Water-T]

Jesus, Tess. Stop broadcasting every little dumb thing you do as if it matters to anyone outside your hugbox.

Heifer needs to stop wasting time trying to convince everyone that she's living the Kardashian life and focus that energy and time into preventing her kids from growing up into white trash like herself.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

My life is sooooo great y'all!!!!!!

 

[multiverse]

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"I can't pay any of my beauty squad any more and need trade Instagram promos for service" <-- all I see

This will work for a short while, but keeping up her look requires she pay her various minions actual cash. They aren't hanging about to bask in her sunny personality and sparkling wit.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

“I saw a dog today”

I didn’t think anyone could get this basic but here we are.

 

[cactus]

“I saw a dog today”

I didn’t think anyone could get this basic but here we are.

The dog looks like it doesn't want to be anywhere near her though.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

The dog needs to run away with her kids and live happily ever after.

 

[Water-T]

“I saw a dog today”

I didn’t think anyone could get this basic but here we are.

Oh, Tess honey - you see one every time you pass by a mirror.

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[multiverse]

View attachment 1004914

This is the other kid Jolene nannys for. I doubt Tess took this.

Re: the poor doggo - animals can smell low empathy people like narcs and sociopaths, they don't like them.

 

[Chamaelirium]

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[Dog Prom 3D]

Jesus, the last ten pages here have been a cringe-fest. Tess is overcompensating for her floundering career and failed marriage in such a pitiful way that I'd feel bad for her if she weren't such a gross monster (or Munster, as it were).

But I will give Allihalla, the tall "Gene Wilder" lookalike her due: No idea she existed until this Tess vacation lovebomb of desperation, but I looked her up and am impressed with her skill. Her clothing is very 1990s, Fly Girl, Delia's catalogue sort of style, but she's undeniably talented and her IG has a skirt I could see commissioning if I didn't sew myself. I find it sort of comforting in a karma sort of way that Tess is trying to use these women to get attention and status and in the end they find themselves prospering. People Google to see who these people are who are hanging around with this sweathog in a tutu and realize at least one of them has talent and makes cool stuff. Good on Allihalla for exceeding my expectations for the career arc of someone who interacts with Tess Munster. I hope the potential embarrassment that comes from being a member, however briefly, of Tess' freakshow brings good things her way.

Fuck, even the other, less impressive women have something going for them. One does hair and the other makes "art." Even if I question the necessity of dyeing one's hair every shade of the rainbow at several hundred dollars a pop, or find the art the brunette made less than appealing, at least they do something, performing a service or creating something. What the fuck does Tess do but travel, smooth out ass lumps in shoddy photoshopping, neglect her kids, start drama online and eat? A danger-hairdresser at the end of the day has far more and value than Tess and if using her as a"gurlfrand" gets Amelia Hart some new clients, she should do it because Tess is only there for the potential boost to her profile. Subvert the boost, ladies.

 

[JambledUpWords]

You don’t look cute Tess.

 

[Rotogravure]

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You don’t look cute Tess.

I can't tell if its the filter or not, but her hair looks like some bad lacefront action is happening.

 

[Water-T]

I'm getting so much satisfaction seeing Tess flail pathetically in order to salvage what little of her career is left. I understand that rubbing elbows and building connections is necessary in the world of modelling, but Tess is practically all but munching on these ladies' carpets (which we all know Tess won't actually do, y'all!).

You can smell the toad-like desperation wafting from every post. "LOOK AT ME! THESE PEOPLE ARE MUH BESTIES! THAT MAKES ME IMPORTANT TOO! I'LL DO ANY COVER YOU GIVE ME I DON'T CARE IT'S 'CAT FANCY' OR 'CIGAR AFICIONADO'! PLEASE!"

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

You can smell the toad-like desperation wafting from every post.

I’d rather not smell her

I agree. She’s spiraling hard with new “besties” every few days. She pissed away her future (what little she had) on her embarrassing runway performance a few weeks back and her inability to control her weight. She’s ballooned by at least 100 pounds these last couple years.

 

[IBrokeBob]

The onslaught of filtered selfies is a veritable cringefest. Yikes on trikes! The filters cannot camouflage that horrible skin or the 4 chins that i spotted.

She getting to kanye levels of manic posting. This is shit like a lovelorn and scorned teen would do.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

The onslaught of filtered selfies is a veritable cringefest. Yikes on trikes! The filters cannot camouflage that horrible skin or the 4 chins that i spotted.

She getting to kanye levels of manic posting. This is shit like a lovelorn and scorned teen would do.

She’s really desperate, y’all! She isn’t getting any calls or bookings, has to sell her clothes, had to move further away from where the action is, nobody believes or cares that she’s queer, and is hanging out with people who don’t seem to care about her and is likely using her until they can find someone better to hang with, which is an increasingly lower bar to clear these days.

 

[Birthday Dickpunch]

The dog looks like it doesn't want to be anywhere near her though.

Just like 3/4 of her "besties" she likes to tag, and her own kid. Everyone just looks annoyed that she's there, and I'm being generous with the 3/4. I'm assuming the remaining 1/4 are just better at hiding it.