Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

Now you have some geriatric fat man struggling to cook with one hand.

Wow Jack, thanks. This video was super necessary and important.
You're right, Jack stopped caring about making a Youtube Cooking Show and now we're just watching him make the lunch he's going to be eating later.

 

[SmileyTimeDayCare]

There's a lowkey sadness to his new videos. At least in his older ones, there was some form of personality. Now you have some geriatric fat man struggling to cook with one hand. And for someone on a diet, he really sure did balloon in the last few months.

View attachment 1006891

Wow Jack, thanks. This video was super necessary and important.
You're right, Jack stopped caring about making a Youtube Cooking Show and now we're just watching him make the lunch he's going to be eating later.

I could taste the butter all throughout the mashed potatoes.

Ugh.

This is without question the laziest video I've seen out of Jack. I really don't understand why he'd even bother putting this out.

Highlights:

• Says tablespoons while using a fucking serving spoon to scoop butter.
• Braces butter container against his enormous gut.
• Gets winded by mashing and stirring potatoes.

 

[Whatthefuck]

I could taste the butter all throughout the mashed potatoes.

Ugh.

This is without question the laziest video I've seen out of Jack. I really don't understand why he'd even bother putting this out.

Highlights:

• Says tablespoons while using a fucking serving spoon to scoop butter.
• Braces butter container against his enormous gut.
• Gets winded by mashing and stirring potatoes.

Your fucking mashed potatoes shouldn't string like good mac and cheese unless you're going for a quasi gratin or casserole. I can get behind adding cheese and/or cream, but I'll never understand how he somehow always fucks it up. That slop has to have the consistency of drying concrete. Heavy AF. It could be the most well written recipe from a Chef with Michelin stars and he could find a way to fuck it up.

 

[arthurdaley]

View attachment 1006891

Wow Jack, thanks. This video was super necessary and important.
You're right, Jack stopped caring about making a Youtube Cooking Show and now we're just watching him make the lunch he's going to be eating later.

Check out the ingredients??? WTF Jack, you have totally given up and just going through the motions...

He can't even be bothered to rip off recipes correctly now.

here is recipe:
7 yellow medium potatoes
kosher salt
hickory smoked bacon
real maple syrup
stick of butter
1 cup of heavy cream


directions: 1. steam potatoes 2. add butter, cheese and cream add milk if needed for proper moisture

 

[Chamulum]

Check out the ingredients??? WTF Jack, you have totally given up and just going through the motions...

He can't even be bothered to rip off recipes correctly now.

here is recipe:
7 yellow medium potatoes
kosher salt
hickory smoked bacon
real maple syrup
stick of butter
1 cup of heavy cream


directions: 1. steam potatoes 2. add butter, cheese and cream add tard cum if needed for proper moisture

Maybe its probably for the better. He's been stealing recipes for how long now?

 

[Slimy Time]

OFFICIAL JACK SCALFANI DEATH POOL

USER​	CAUSE OF DEATH​	EST. DATE OF DEATH​	KETO POINTS​
Murmur​	Heart Attack​	Early 2021​	500​
Wilhem Bittrich​	3rd Stroke​	Mid to Late 2020​	300​
The Wichita Lion​	Ham Sandwich​	May 11, 2021 (Ramadan)​	420​
FemalePresident​	3rd Stroke​	March, 2021​	666​
SmileyTimeDayCare​	Sepsis by Food Poisoning​	Early 2022​	456​
Religion is Dead​	Diabetes​	Mid 2020​	600​
Mesosalpinx​	Gangrene w/ side of diabetes and cholesterol​	April, 2020​	365​
Chamulum​	3rd Stroke and diabetes combo​	Early to Mid 2020​	148​
Mein Garten​	Coronary artery disease w/ an aneurysm​	Fall 2021​	1965​
Begemot​	Trichinosis​	April, 2020​	350​
Man vs persistent rat​	Stroke leading to coma and death​	August, 2022​	400​
Xochi​	Beaten to death by actual chefs​	January, 2021​	19,324,557,416​
captkrisma​	Stroke and heart failure​	Late, 2020​	1​
Waifuman Cooper​	Stroke​	June, 2020​	1776​
AnOminous​	Stroke​	Julay 4th, 2020​	2020​
Rod Dangerous​	Pulmonary embolism​	4th Quarter 2022​	25​
LordofCringe7206​	Salmonella Infection​	March, 2020​	2​
Captain Fitzbattleaxe​	Complications from gastric bypass surgery​	March, 2023​	500​
Suburban Bastard​	Berry Aneurysm​	January, 2021​	6969​
Dave Meltzer​	Murdered by Maury Davis for shoe related transgression​	Christmas Eve 2019​	202​
Adamska​	Cardiac Arrest​	June, 2022​	3,350​
Stock Photo Hacker​	Shot by a rogue Mcdonalds manager​	April, 2020​	420​
Archie_Kimkicker​	Thrown off cliff by Tammy's bull (for insurance)​	February, 2020​	1488​
Redeemer and Destroyer​	3rd Stroke​	Summer 2020​	777​
Spasticus Autisticus​	Heart Attack from witnessing Tammy making love to a black gentleman​	February, 2021​	69​
Kamov Ka-52​	Stroke​	Mid 2020​	1488​
Pineapple Fox​	Gangrene caused by uncontrolled diabetes​	October, 2020​	30​
GandT​	Choked out by son​	21 June, 2020 (Father's Day)​	420​
Mr. Manchester​	Complications from final stroke​	April, 2021​	201​
desu91​	Stroke w/ a side of head trauma​	Mid 2020​	9001​
ObeseScreaming- BlackMan​	Crushed by AS SEEN ON TV gadgets.​	Winter 2021​	42069​
salmonellajack​	Head trauma via shoe​	April, 2020​	187​
Coconut Gun​	Natural causes while surrounded by loved ones​	Summer 2054​	0​
irishAzoth​	Cirrhosis​	Summer 2022​	1337​
GloriousRapeRabbit​	Heart attack after stroke and two year coma​	April, 2022​	789​
Chive Turkey​	3rd Stroke​	June, 2025​	7​
Mr._Blonde​	4th Stroke​	April, 2022​	300​
Scented Candle​	Smited by the good Lord for blasphemous onion ring sorcery​	February, 2024​	80,085​

To enter, reply to this post with your guess at the cause of death, a rough estimate on when, and how many Keto Points you are betting.




On the day of Jack's death, the entrant with the best guess will receive ALL Keto Points entered into the pool.

This post will be updated as bets come in. Good luck to you all!

User: Slimy Time
CoD: Fatal stroke
EDoD: July 2022
KP: 1266

 

[Rod Dangerous]

There's a lowkey sadness to his new videos. At least in his older ones, there was some form of personality. Now you have some geriatric fat man struggling to cook with one hand. And for someone on a diet, he really sure did balloon in the last few months.

It’s as though he scooped out the contents of his skull and slopped them into an orange bowl.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

here is recipe:
7 yellow medium potatoes
kosher salt
hickory smoked bacon
real maple syrup
stick of butter
1 cup of heavy cream

Where is the wasabi?

 

[Whatthefuck]

Check out the ingredients??? WTF Jack, you have totally given up and just going through the motions...

He can't even be bothered to rip off recipes correctly now.

here is recipe:
7 yellow medium potatoes
kosher salt
hickory smoked bacon
real maple syrup
stick of butter
1 cup of heavy cream


directions: 1. steam potatoes 2. add butter, cheese and cream add tard cum if needed for proper moisture

Maple syrup? Bitch, why? If they were sweet potatoes I could almost get it, but fucking hell that has to taste like absolute garbage.

He has just given up and he's leaning into his gluttony...which is a sin, Super Christian. No one needs that amount of fat in one side dish. How in fucking hell is this keto? Is he even still pretending to do the keto thing?

Where is the wasabi?

Needless to say, if there is wasabi, it would only make the flavor palette more horrific.

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

It’s as though he scooped out the contents of his skull and slopped them into an orange bowl.

Nah man that's 7 whole potatoes, Jack's grey matter wouldn't amount to one.

Where is the wasabi?

No "add wasabi" in the directions either, just 1) have mashed potatoes 2) put cheese on them. Also cream. Maybe milk.

 

[salmonellajack]

Has he quit the 5k walk training?

 

[Aaway]

shocked he even listed the recipe/directions in the video description

CWJ is such a snoozefest these days. 4 minute low energy video where he hastily puts together some crime against food and then says it tastes good. JOTG is where the real fun/cringe is at but he barely uploads there anymore after his stroke

 

[Chamulum]

shocked he even listed the recipe/directions in the video description

CWJ is such a snoozefest these days. 4 minute low energy video where he hastily puts together some crime against food and then says it tastes good. JOTG is where the real fun/cringe is at but he barely uploads there anymore after his stroke

And he's not going to upload ever after his third one.

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

Has he quit the 5k walk training?

5k walk training? Look at him, he's barely able to walk 100 yards without getting a heart attack.

Where is the wasabi?

Real wasabi is about 80 $ per lb, you really think that cheapskate would use real wasabi?
Most likely he would use green colored horse raddish but even more likely he's even to cheap for that.

 

[Religion is Dead]

Where is the wasabi?

He claims that it's in the cheese.

 

[captkrisma]

They actually do make wasabi cheese, and that idea alone makes me cry a little inside. $10 off Amazon.

 

[Slimy Time]

He claims that it's in the cheese.

So, no where to be found then. Too difficult to throw normal horseradish or the coloured horseradish to the mix. Why does he even do these videos anymore, his engagement is in the thousands if he's lucky. Probably a good chunk of that is people on this site or people facisinated by his inability to cook.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Jackie Limp Limb somehow fucks up scooping a massive amount of butter.
(Note the 2 large piles of butter already in the bowl)

 

[Chamulum]

View attachment 1007240
Jackie Limp Limb somehow fucks up scooping a massive amount of butter.
(Note the 2 large piles of butter already in the bowl)

He should just cut that arm off. God damn.

 

[GloriousRapeRabbit]

View attachment 1007240
Jackie Limp Limb somehow fucks up scooping a massive amount of butter.
(Note the 2 large piles of butter already in the bowl)

What do you mean? Its only a tablespoon.