Jasper Carewatch - ASPCAck-Ack-Ack

Didn't he post an instafacesnap picture of himself in a Target wearing one of those stupid big-head cat masks? I think the likelihood of this happening is closer to 75% than anything else.
If he wore that cat head he couldn't wear his headphones or drink his water. DEBUNKED
 
If he wore that cat head he couldn't wear his headphones or drink his water. DEBUNKED
What a nudnik. There's more than enough room in those things to wear headphones when your head is shaped like a toe. And if he can find a way to slurp gin water through a shoddy Bob Ross beard... He'll easily be able to partake in a spacious mask. REBUNKED.
 
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What a nudnik. There's more than enough room in those things to wear headphones when your head is shaped like a toe. And if he can find a way to slurp gin water through a shoddy Bob Ross beard... He'll easily be able to partake in a spacious mask. REBUNKED.
Ahh, but what you did there was called problem solving. Phil has no time for that. Rush rush rush.

How do you fit a square peg into a round hole? Either change the shape of the peg or the shape of the hole. Or as DSP would do, say there was nothing he could do and give up.

In my opinion a cat head mask is way too much troubleshooting for Phil.

I'm guessing he just wears the cowboy hat and goes as "Red Dead Redemption"
 
I think you guys misunderstood my post. I was wondering if Phil has come up with the idea of making Jasper wear one of those novelty pet costumes.

pig-hat-cat.jpeg
 
I think you guys misunderstood my post. I was wondering if Phil has come up with the idea of making Jasper wear one of those novelty pet costumes.

pig-hat-cat.jpeg
If they do it'll be Kat's job to put it on the poor little bastard. Phil is way too scared of getting scratched, which is just about the only thing that makes him a decent owner: that he respects the pain Jasper can dish out if he gets pissed off or scared. Hopefully that doesn't one day evolve into throwing him across a room in panic or anger if he actually does scratch or bite him.
 
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When I pick up a cat, I grab them around the chest under the front legs and place a hand under their rear paws for support.

There is zero chance the cat scratches my thighs or stomach.

If Phil is getting scratches on his thighs and stomach, he is holding the cat like a guy hiking a football and sticking his dick into it.
He might be re adjusting the cat on his lap or something, he picks up jasper like a retard. Maybe when he baits the cat onto his lap that’s when it scratches him.

As for a costume for jasper, usually you only see his tail and he’s too lazy to adjust the camera when he’s in the room
 
Can't "work" overtime because he HAS to spend time with Khet, but at the same time he says that his day off is the only time him and Khet get to spend time togheter and that's only to run errands

Wut

And Jasper is a detractor

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Right before the 10/26/19 stream, wasn’t kat supposed to be on a 2 week vacation and had jasper all day or was this just one of the days she didn’t have him. Probably just an excuse cause he has to close the door cause kat doesn’t want to hear him screaming
 
He has the door open for Jasper to come in tonight any time he wants. Conveniently Jasper was in the room but ran away as soon as he turned the camera on.

Question for any cat owners: If you're in your house, and it's just you and the cat for a long period of time, doesn't your cat want to be in the same room as you? Or at least come in from time to time?

Also, if you don't see your cat for 2+ hours would you not call for him or go check on him? Just curious because I'm not a cat owner and I feel like Phil is lying. Either Kat is still home (lost her job, not on vacation) or both felines have left the building.
 
Question for any cat owners: If you're in your house, and it's just you and the cat for a long period of time, doesn't your cat want to be in the same room as you? Or at least come in from time to time?
We have 3 cats. I can't even launch a dookie without them pawing under the door because they want attention (but subsequently don't want attention when you try and pet them... Cause they're cats).
 
He has the door open for Jasper to come in tonight any time he wants. Conveniently Jasper was in the room but ran away as soon as he turned the camera on.

Question for any cat owners: If you're in your house, and it's just you and the cat for a long period of time, doesn't your cat want to be in the same room as you? Or at least come in from time to time?

Also, if you don't see your cat for 2+ hours would you not call for him or go check on him? Just curious because I'm not a cat owner and I feel like Phil is lying. Either Kat is still home (lost her job, not on vacation) or both felines have left the building.


Cats are territorial, so as part of their natural behaviour they will patrol it several times a day. They also like to check if you're there and will quickly learn where they are most likely to find you. So yes, it is very odd he wouldn't keep walking through the open door.
 
Cats are territorial, so as part of their natural behaviour they will patrol it several times a day. They also like to check if you're there and will quickly learn where they are most likely to find you. So yes, it is very odd he wouldn't keep walking through the open door.
Jasper is totally here! He's her right now!

AksjdienrnTIPMEjdkfkfj

Hahaha Jasper just walked on the keyboard! Silly kitty
 
Phil just confirmed that they lock Jasper in the bedroom with them while they sleep. Someone asked why they can't open the door and let him roam around the house when he wakes up and the response was something to the effect that Jasper will "get in trouble" all around the house and if they let him out he will try to get back in the bedroom later


Why does he need to keep his bedroom door locked shut 24-7???
 
Phil just confirmed that they lock Jasper in the bedroom with them while they sleep. Someone asked why they can't open the door and let him roam around the house when he wakes up and the response was something to the effect that Jasper will "get in trouble" all around the house and if they let him out he will try to get back in the bedroom later


Why does he need to keep his bedroom door locked shut 24-7???
That's... fucking retarded.
 
Phil just confirmed that they lock Jasper in the bedroom with them while they sleep. Someone asked why they can't open the door and let him roam around the house when he wakes up and the response was something to the effect that Jasper will "get in trouble" all around the house and if they let him out he will try to get back in the bedroom later


Why does he need to keep his bedroom door locked shut 24-7???
Let's not forget what he said that "...cats are like having a kid, they don't listen...".

God forbid your cat bothers you while you want an extra hour of sleep because it probably wants food, water, or its shitter cleaned. Or maybe just pet the fucking thing for a few minutes and go back to bed instead of jumping out of bed to yell at it because it was thirsty and drinking your plant water.

I'm starting to think he's using the cat as another scapegoat for staying up late and needs something to blame. What kind of retard locks a cat in their room while they sleep and is thinking its like a toddler who's going to bump its head on a sharp corner? This just feels like another fabricated story because he's so uninteresting. Just hearing his story from him is ridiculous.

edit: Wait a minute, my first sentence really got the noggin joggin. It's just like having a kid? Uh hol up, how would you know this?
 
He doesn't. It's another of his "I'm such an adult" statements that only work on people with no life experience.
Pretty much this. It's just Pig doing his big boy LARP that he does to trick tards out of their money. As for why he just locks Jasper in the room, he probably sweats in buttery fear that he'll gnaw the wires of his manchild room while he snorts in sleep.
 
He doesn't. It's another of his "I'm such an adult" statements that only work on people with no life experience.
Pretty much this. It's just Pig doing his big boy LARP that he does to trick tards out of their money. As for why he just locks Jasper in the room, he probably sweats in buttery fear that he'll gnaw the wires of his manchild room while he snorts in sleep.
Figured as much as I suppose. Thought I'd swing it by before going full blown autism mode.

His choice of words were a bit arrogant. I'm sure using "don't understand" would have been better than "don't listen". Unless he still thinks he can communicate with his cat with the english language.

edit: Someone cheered/tip some dumb shit I didn't pay attention to, but then Phil goes on about "...there is a fresh bowl of water downstairs, I do not know why he would drink out of a plant...".

Like bruh, you just said you locked your cat in your room while you sleep...
 
Phil just confirmed that they lock Jasper in the bedroom with them while they sleep. Someone asked why they can't open the door and let him roam around the house when he wakes up and the response was something to the effect that Jasper will "get in trouble" all around the house and if they let him out he will try to get back in the bedroom later


Why does he need to keep his bedroom door locked shut 24-7???

sounds like jasper hasn't been trained not to chew shit, and dave has to be around to squirt him with water to deter him, sad
 
Phil just confirmed that they lock Jasper in the bedroom with them while they sleep. Someone asked why they can't open the door and let him roam around the house when he wakes up and the response was something to the effect that Jasper will "get in trouble" all around the house and if they let him out he will try to get back in the bedroom later


Why does he need to keep his bedroom door locked shut 24-7???
If you need to shut your cat up in one room while you sleep (and I guess concurrently follow said cat around during the day?) because they'll "get into trouble" then your house is too fucking dirty/cluttered and you don't have enough cat-focused stuff out to keep them occupied. Cats remember what you use to play with them and will go for those things when they're bored.

I'm also digging the fact that he admitted to denying Jasper access to a litter box for ~8 hours a day because you absolutely know he doesn't keep one in his bedroom. I hope the poor thing shits all over the clothes he leaves on the floor.
 
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