Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

For some reason, this picture reminds me of what Commander Shran from Star Trek Enterprise would look like without Andorian antennae.
Maybe because Star Trek forgot to say donut steeel Shran.


Probably because the powers that be expect us to show more interest in their bland, frumpy females (Rose & Admiral Dangerhair) instead of an attractive character who could certainly be portrayed as a decent supporting character in a film where being woke wasn't as much of a priority as it's been in Disney Wars. But for whatever reason, writers seem to think fan liking female characters automatically equates to sexualizing them even if fans take an interest in them non-sexual reasons.


I don't like them putting crystals in the lightsabers that turn the frickin' Jedi gay. Do you understand that
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A couple of quotes didn't get captured for whatever reason 🤷‍♂️ . Quick thoughts on those:

I rated the post about Holdo appearing in Episode IX thunkful only because it's a wtf rumor. If it proves to be true, it's certainly horrifying. At the same time, I wouldn't put it past Disney to somehow claim Holdo was only faking her death and escaped in a space rowboat or got rescued by Rebels-era space whales before her ship disintegrated or something equally stupid. This is Disney who pretty much makes up whatever they want when it comes to SW and finds a way to make it canon even if it conflicts with previous canon lore.

If it's true Disney owns Garfield now, that's a rather scary thought. For better or for worse, it could mean Disney introduces us to a new horrible SW villain: Darth Odie, the Sith that kills foes with his Force slurp.
Viacom owns Garfield now.



I've noticed many people bringing up a whole bunch of different loose ends that need to be tied up in IX. Well have no fear:


The ending of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker may be the conclusion of the Skywalker Saga, but it may not have all the answers we are looking for.
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker may not answer all of our questions when the movie comes out next month.
In a recent interview, Naomi Ackie who plays Jannah in the upcoming film, told Metro UK there may be more questions when the film ends. Not everything will be answered, or more questions may be raised.

Even though it is the finale to the Skywalker Saga, there are bound to be more questions that pop up and a two-and-a-half-hour movie may not be able to capture it all.
Ackie told Metro UK:

It’s her last sentence that actually stands out to me. ‘The story continues.’
I get there will be questions. There are always questions and nothing will ever get wrapped up completely with a pretty bow.
But why does the story continue? What could possibly happen – or not happen – to think the story would continue? Does she mean certain characters live so in essence their stories continue?
Like if Rey is still alive but she defeats Palpatine once and for all, that part of the story is over, but hers continues. She still has a life and her story will go on. Does it mean that?
Or does it mean that Palpatine and the Sith somehow continue to live on and the next generation of Jedi or whatever they want to be called continue to fight this battle and there is never an end in sight because light and dark will always clash?
Or am I reading too much into it?
It’s likely a combination of all of it. Some of heroes will live, good and evil will always exist and I look too deeply into what people looking for a hint of what’s to come.
In just over a month until The Rise of Skywalker comes out. Hopefully, it goes by quickly for my sanity’s sake.
Oh fuck, this is not good if one of the actresses of the movie says that the movie won’t answer a lot of question.

This is Heaven’s Gate 2.0, except it will kill Star Wars.
 
I would love to be proven wrong. And the whole Heaven's Gate stuff fits pretty well with Iger's mentality, thing is, even safe shit will underperform after a while, especially if it appeals to non fans (while demonizing actual fans) and Bob either doesnt care/ can see the problems with it.
Im keeping my expectations low tho.

Isabelle Huppert did an interview a few years ago where she talked about Heaven's Gate. She saw Cimino before his death. Apparently he never got over how the film got butchered by the studio. She said he was the nicest man in the world, but very much a perfectionist in some aspects.
 
Give me a Star Wars movie where Luke accepts Vaders offer, and they defeat the emperor and rule the universe as father and son.

Luke gets a vision of the future where he's drinking green walrus milk, and the fate of the force rests with a girl who can't close her mouth and some My Chemical Romance reject.

"That's what happens if I don't give in to the dark side? Well fuck it, dark side it is *SLICE* Ok get Mon Motha on the hololink so we can tell her to stand down."
 
Apparently, Plan 9 will be premiering (or getting a special early screening) in Japan on December 11th.
1574073610050.png

This means the movie will likely be spoiled sooner than expected.

JJ Abrams has also "confirmed" that TLJ changed nothing and follows the story ideally in his eyes, and he plans to change nothing. Hence why he brought in Ackbar Jr. instead of just bringing back Ackbar and claiming the one that died was just his brother/cousin or something.
1574073731462.jpeg


Some awful new Kylo Ren comics came out and that's all Disney drones are obsessing about right cuz "sweet Ben-Ben".

Kenobi makes a cameo in Fallen Order as a holocron hologram that Debra Wilson has for no real reason and will be making an appearance in The Mandalorian as the one who rescued and briefly raised the Mandalorian cuz OT references.

The plot of Episode 3 of the Mandalorian has supposedly been leaked "The main character sales baby Yoda so he can get more mandalorian iron. But then he starts having regrets and goes back to get the baby which is going to be operated on to "extract" something from it. The guy doing the operation is the same lame scientist guy from the first episode who has a Kamino lab tattoo on his arm, implying that baby Yoda is just a clone of Yoda. Maybe."

According to internal data within the Fallen Order game, Starkiller Base from TFA is actually an old EU planet we once knew as Ilum which first appeared in the novel Jedi Quest and Genndy Wars (although some of you zoomers may only remember it from Filoni Wars' Gathering episode) where it was one of the most sacred worlds of the jedi and the source of most lightsaber crystals, and I guess Disney hadn't taken a big enough dump yet on past SW lore so they decided to wreck Ilum, destroy the temple and the biggest source of lightsaber crystals before eventually converting it into the Death Star 3 XL/Starkiller and then blowing it up in TFA. I should've seen this coming when a shitty Hidalgo guide put Starkiller in the same sector as Ilum last year.
dmvxst59x2l21.jpg

The fate of Ilum mirrors the fate of the Galaxy under Disney so nicely...
 
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Apparently, Plan 9 will be premiering (or getting a special early screening) in Japan on December 11th.
View attachment 1014032
This means the movie will likely be spoiled sooner than expected.

JJ Abrams has also "confirmed" that TLJ changed nothing and follows the story ideally in his eyes, and he plans to change nothing. Hence why he brought in Ackbar Jr. instead of just bringing back Ackbar and claiming the one that died was just his brother/cousin or something.
View attachment 1014033

Some awful new Kylo Ren comics came out and that's all Disney drones are obsessing about right cuz "sweet Ben-Ben".

Kenobi makes a cameo in Fallen Order as a holocron hologram that Debra Wilson has for no real reason and will be making an appearance in The Mandalorian as the one who rescued and briefly raised the Mandalorian cuz OT references.

The plot of Episode 3 of the Mandalorian has supposedly been leaked "The main character sales baby Yoda so he can get more mandalorian iron. But then he starts having regrets and goes back to get the baby which is going to be operated on to "extract" something from it. The guy doing the operation is the same lame scientist guy from the first episode who has a Kamino lab tattoo on his arm, implying that baby Yoda is just a clone of Yoda. Maybe."

According to internal data within the Fallen Order, Starkiller Base from TFA is actually an old EU planet we once knew as Ilum which first appeared in the novel Jedi Quest and Genndy Wars (although some of you zoomers may only remember it from Filoni Wars' Gathering episode) where it was one of the most sacred worlds of the jedi and the source of most lightsaber crystals, and I guess Disney hadn't taken a big enough dump yet on past SW lore so they decided to wreck Ilum, destroy the temple and the biggest source of lightsaber crystals before eventually converting into the Death Star 3 XL and then blowing it up in TFA.
View attachment 1014039
The fate of Ilum mirrors the fate of the Galaxy under Disney so nicely...
.....why is a Jedi temple planet in the unknown regions?
Jesus, not even close to getting it right.
 
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.....why is a Jedi temple planet in the unknown regions?
For one, Starkiller Base was mobile after eating its original star (propelling itself with "Phantom Energy" whose bullshit I've explained in detail before), so it could go anywhere (its basically a Star Forge donut steal combined with the Death Star but lamer). Secondly, Ilum was in the UR even before Disney, its placement was beneficial for security reasons since it wasn't easily accessible to the rest of the civilized galaxy and it was relatively out of the way from everything else, and they chose to make a temple in a such remote place because it had a huge deposit of raw lightsaber crystals which made the planet invaluable for the jedi.

I swear, so often Disney Star Wars is the product of someone spending all day on Wookieepedia to find the best and most subtle ways to shit on Star Wars fans.
And that "someone's" name is... Pablo Hidalgo (and possibly Matt Martin too), the new story team's lore proprietors.
 
So okay, friend at work got the Jedi Souls of Soykiro game.

He was telling me about it, and got to the part where he was complaining that he couldn't find out how to jump his way to a box he found that has treasure in it. I thought for a second..and while I fell out of love with the Franchise long long ago I remember something from Empire Strikes back about MOVING SHIT WITH THE FORCE.
 
For one, Starkiller Base was mobile after eating its original star (propelling itself with "Phantom Energy" whose bullshit I've explained in detail before), so it could go anywhere (its basically a Star Forge donut steal combined with the Death Star but lamer). Secondly, Ilum was in the UR even before Disney, its placement was beneficial for security reasons since it wasn't easily accessible to the rest of the civilized galaxy and it was relatively out of the way from everything else, and they chose to make a temple in a such remote place because it had a huge deposit of raw lightsaber crystals which made the planet invaluable for the jedi.

One thing is to write stuff to add to the universe so it can make sense, since it was always intentional
Another is to write stuff to try to justify your non sense setting, like "its not stupid because of 'Phantom Energy'..!"

Decent writing 101
Have the explanation and details of your setup ready, so that while its not focused on it, it can be somewhat hinted/foreshadowed so when its explained, it doesnt feel like its covering plot holes.
The reader needs to go "Ohhhh, of course. That makes sense (within the lore of the universe), they thought up of everything", instead of "You are just making stuff up, arent you?"

Edit: Unless its Ghostbusters or Danny Phantom, the name "Phantom Energy" doesnt fit star wars at all
 
According to internal data within the Fallen Order, Starkiller Base from TFA is actually an old EU planet we once knew as Ilum which first appeared in the novel Jedi Quest and Genndy Wars (although some of you zoomers may only remember it from Filoni Wars' Gathering episode) where it was one of the most sacred worlds of the jedi and the source of most lightsaber crystals, and I guess Disney hadn't taken a big enough dump yet on past SW lore so they decided to wreck Ilum, destroy the temple and the biggest source of lightsaber crystals before eventually converting into the Death Star 3 XL and then blowing it up in TFA.
View attachment 1014039

So any remnants of the Jedi are going to be totally obliterated by the time Plan IX comes out, as well as any possibility of them coming back. I'm reminded of another what-if/prediction that I read: After IX takes place there will be a slave market around force-sensitive people because Rey buried the Jedi order and the New New Republic can't project power after presumably barely surviving the climactic battle against Palpatine's fleet, but force-sensitive children are still being born as shown by Rian.

Here it is for posterity.
Future of Star Wars Setting.png

Too bad they'd never try doing anything that interesting. The New Republic will just instantly become a superpower again, just like they instantly gained a new fleet, just like the First Order instantly replaced them, just like the Empire instantly self-destructed after RotJ.
 
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According to internal data within the Fallen Order, Starkiller Base from TFA is actually an old EU planet we once knew as Ilum which first appeared in the novel Jedi Quest and Genndy Wars (although some of you zoomers may only remember it from Filoni Wars' Gathering episode) where it was one of the most sacred worlds of the jedi and the source of most lightsaber crystals, and I guess Disney hadn't taken a big enough dump yet on past SW lore so they decided to wreck Ilum, destroy the temple and the biggest source of lightsaber crystals before eventually converting into the Death Star 3 XL and then blowing it up in TFA.
Godfuckingdammit.
 
So any remnants of the Jedi are going to be totally obliterated by the time Plan IX comes out, as well as any possibility of them coming back. I'm reminded of another what-if/prediction that I read: After IX takes place there will be a slave market around force-sensitive people because Rey buried the Jedi order and the New New Republic can't project power after presumably barely surviving the climactic battle against Palpatine's fleet, but force-sensitive children are still being born as shown by Rian.

Here it is for posterity.
View attachment 1014079

Too bad they'd never try doing anything that interesting. The New Republic will just instantly become a superpower again, just like they instantly gained a new fleet, just like the First Order instantly replaced them, just like the Empire instantly self-destructed after RotJ.
Oh, no that won't happen, the status quo will immediately return, except better since Rey did it.
 
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